Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Khane · Mar 8, 2022

Gavinmad said:
You're like a stone's throw away from whacking it to vore.

What kinda vore we talking? Carnivore? Herbivore? Khaneavore?

Cad · Mar 8, 2022

Deathwing said:
Grown-ass adults telling each other their height. I can't recall any of my coworkers heights beyond shorter than me, about the same height, or fucking tall. Nor can I recall ever telling them the same.

Do you work at a roller coaster?

The only time actual height numbers come up is when guys are trying to say they're 6' or 6'1 and clearly 4-5" shorter than me (I'm 6'2) or when women ask for some weird reason. Otherwise no guy actually asks how tall you are and there's no real reason to ever talk about it outside of impressing women. Which is stupid, because almost all guys are significantly taller than almost all women, so why do they give a fuck? No reason.

Lendarios · Mar 8, 2022

Khane said:
Haha did I really post that in thread? Woops.

Now you have my attention.

Gavinmad · Mar 8, 2022

Khane said:
What kinda vore we talking? Carnivore? Herbivore? Khaneavore?

Khaneavore.

Hoss · Mar 8, 2022

Lendarios said:
What does Xie Xie means?
I don't speak communist.

I know 4 things in chinese from my days playing EQ2. We had a huge chinese farmer guild on our server. Fuckers were killing contested bosses in treasured gear. It was always fun to run groups with them.

xie xie : thanks
Ni hao: Hello
zzzzzz: hahahahaha
cao ni ma: Fuck your ancestors

I used to know "fuck 7 generations of your ancestors" and one that meant "You wear a pretty green hat" Supposedly the green hat means your wife is cheating on you.

Urlithani · Apr 7, 2022

Khane said:
I look forward to seeing you in the Marriage and the Power of Divorce thread

Why hello there! Ask and you shall receive! Yeah I bought a business and start Monday, despite the fact that my marriage is slowly deteriorating. There's no talk of divorce or anything, so this is just the marriage part.

My wife texted me this morning asking me why I'm the sole owner of the LLC and she's not on the business. She has heard all these stories of husband and wife couples working together and thought that's what we are. I explained that both husband and wife in those examples work 50 hour weeks in order to make it work, and that if she wants to be added to it, she's going to need to put in a solid 40 each week as an investment (because she has no money and has been a stay at home for 12 years). So now she's hurt because I don't trust her (this is the woman who took $12k in payday advances out of my paycheck, lost it all to slot machines at the casino, then hid it from me for almost 11 months using credit cards until all the credit cards were maxxed out and I found out during a phone call with a bankrupty attorney; GEE I WONDER WHY YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T TRUST YOU).

I'm not blameless because I'm not the supportive husband I used to be. I just gave up trying to motivate her and focused on our kids.

We have two boys that are 5 and 6. Older son has autism but is a very sweet kid. He cannot carry a conversation but can vocalizes basic needs. Since Thanksgiving 2020 I have been working two jobs, 7 days a week most of the time in order to pay the bills and put food on the table. My wife takes care of the house, and right now that means playing FFXIV 6-10 hours a day. The kids get on the bus to school, and it's just her from 7:30am to 3:20pm every weekday. With that in mind, despite working 7 days a week I still:

- Take the kids out to play at the playground because she has social anxiety and can't handle crowds (she goes to birthday parties and family social functions but 2-4x a week I take the kids somewhere for a couple of hours each trip)
- Do half the grocery shopping (anxiety)
- Do half the laundry
- Do half of the cleaning and picking up after the kids.
- Do the dishes half the time (I have left on business trips on a sunday night, to come back to the same dishes in the sink on Friday night).
- Cook half the meals

She complains that I don't respect her, and I told her she doesn't respect herself; the house is always a mess and taking 15 minutes a day to pick up a little is just a bridge too far. I tell her we should go get counseling; she thinks it's a waste of time and money (even though we did it for 2 months and it seemed to work great). Divorce isn't in the cards for me. I would not prefer it because it wrecked me as a kid, and I won't do it to my own children who need both their parents to support them. My wife and I can be roommates that happen to sleep in the same bed for all I care.

Luckily she has a lot of exterior pressure on her from my in-laws. Both her mom and sister are your typical Texas-born, evangelical, traditional housewives. They are constantly getting on her case about not holding up her end of the marriage (taking care of the house & kids). Her mom is 63 with the same back and migraine problems, but still keeps the house and has dinner ready every night for her husband. There's enough pressure there that shit would hit the fan if she wanted to separate.

Basically I'm in it for the kids. I still love my wife in some ways but I can't spend any more time or emotional capital to help her get her shit together at this point. If I stop focusing on the kids or my career, collectively as a family unit we will all be dragged down with her. She can sit there and play FFXIV/Sea of Thieves/etc., and I will just treat her like a live-in nanny who I happen to share a bed with.

Soygen · Apr 7, 2022

Urlithani said:
Why hello there! Ask and you shall receive! Yeah I bought a business and start Monday, despite the fact that my marriage is slowly deteriorating. There's no talk of divorce or anything, so this is just the marriage part.

My wife texted me this morning asking me why I'm the sole owner of the LLC and she's not on the business. She has heard all these stories of husband and wife couples working together and thought that's what we are. I explained that both husband and wife in those examples work 50 hour weeks in order to make it work, and that if she wants to be added to it, she's going to need to put in a solid 40 each week as an investment (because she has no money and has been a stay at home for 12 years). So now she's hurt because I don't trust her (this is the woman who took $12k in payday advances out of my paycheck, lost it all to slot machines at the casino, then hid it from me for almost 11 months using credit cards until all the credit cards were maxxed out and I found out during a phone call with a bankrupty attorney; GEE I WONDER WHY YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T TRUST YOU).

I'm not blameless because I'm not the supportive husband I used to be. I just gave up trying to motivate her and focused on our kids.

We have two boys that are 5 and 6. Older son has autism but is a very sweet kid. He cannot carry a conversation but can vocalizes basic needs. Since Thanksgiving 2020 I have been working two jobs, 7 days a week most of the time in order to pay the bills and put food on the table. My wife takes care of the house, and right now that means playing FFXIV 6-10 hours a day. The kids get on the bus to school, and it's just her from 7:30am to 3:20pm every weekday. With that in mind, despite working 7 days a week I still:

- Take the kids out to play at the playground because she has social anxiety and can't handle crowds (she goes to birthday parties and family social functions but 2-4x a week I take the kids somewhere for a couple of hours each trip)
- Do half the grocery shopping (anxiety)
- Do half the laundry
- Do half of the cleaning and picking up after the kids.
- Do the dishes half the time (I have left on business trips on a sunday night, to come back to the same dishes in the sink on Friday night).
- Cook half the meals

She complains that I don't respect her, and I told her she doesn't respect herself; the house is always a mess and taking 15 minutes a day to pick up a little is just a bridge too far. I tell her we should go get counseling; she thinks it's a waste of time and money (even though we did it for 2 months and it seemed to work great). Divorce isn't in the cards for me. I would not prefer it because it wrecked me as a kid, and I won't do it to my own children who need both their parents to support them. My wife and I can be roommates that happen to sleep in the same bed for all I care.

Luckily she has a lot of exterior pressure on her from my in-laws. Both her mom and sister are your typical Texas-born, evangelical, traditional housewives. They are constantly getting on her case about not holding up her end of the marriage (taking care of the house & kids). Her mom is 63 with the same back and migraine problems, but still keeps the house and has dinner ready every night for her husband. There's enough pressure there that shit would hit the fan if she wanted to separate.

Basically I'm in it for the kids. I still love my wife in some ways but I can't spend any more time or emotional capital to help her get her shit together at this point. If I stop focusing on the kids or my career, collectively as a family unit we will all be dragged down with her. She can sit there and play FFXIV/Sea of Thieves/etc., and I will just treat her like a live-in nanny who I happen to share a bed with.

Man, that's rough, but good on you for stepping up for your kids. Some kids don't even get one responsible parent, so there is a lot to be said there. Good luck with the kids and the business!

moonarchia · Apr 7, 2022

Urlithani said:
Why hello there! Ask and you shall receive! Yeah I bought a business and start Monday, despite the fact that my marriage is slowly deteriorating. There's no talk of divorce or anything, so this is just the marriage part.

My wife texted me this morning asking me why I'm the sole owner of the LLC and she's not on the business. She has heard all these stories of husband and wife couples working together and thought that's what we are. I explained that both husband and wife in those examples work 50 hour weeks in order to make it work, and that if she wants to be added to it, she's going to need to put in a solid 40 each week as an investment (because she has no money and has been a stay at home for 12 years). So now she's hurt because I don't trust her (this is the woman who took $12k in payday advances out of my paycheck, lost it all to slot machines at the casino, then hid it from me for almost 11 months using credit cards until all the credit cards were maxxed out and I found out during a phone call with a bankrupty attorney; GEE I WONDER WHY YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T TRUST YOU).

I'm not blameless because I'm not the supportive husband I used to be. I just gave up trying to motivate her and focused on our kids.

We have two boys that are 5 and 6. Older son has autism but is a very sweet kid. He cannot carry a conversation but can vocalizes basic needs. Since Thanksgiving 2020 I have been working two jobs, 7 days a week most of the time in order to pay the bills and put food on the table. My wife takes care of the house, and right now that means playing FFXIV 6-10 hours a day. The kids get on the bus to school, and it's just her from 7:30am to 3:20pm every weekday. With that in mind, despite working 7 days a week I still:

- Take the kids out to play at the playground because she has social anxiety and can't handle crowds (she goes to birthday parties and family social functions but 2-4x a week I take the kids somewhere for a couple of hours each trip)
- Do half the grocery shopping (anxiety)
- Do half the laundry
- Do half of the cleaning and picking up after the kids.
- Do the dishes half the time (I have left on business trips on a sunday night, to come back to the same dishes in the sink on Friday night).
- Cook half the meals

She complains that I don't respect her, and I told her she doesn't respect herself; the house is always a mess and taking 15 minutes a day to pick up a little is just a bridge too far. I tell her we should go get counseling; she thinks it's a waste of time and money (even though we did it for 2 months and it seemed to work great). Divorce isn't in the cards for me. I would not prefer it because it wrecked me as a kid, and I won't do it to my own children who need both their parents to support them. My wife and I can be roommates that happen to sleep in the same bed for all I care.

Luckily she has a lot of exterior pressure on her from my in-laws. Both her mom and sister are your typical Texas-born, evangelical, traditional housewives. They are constantly getting on her case about not holding up her end of the marriage (taking care of the house & kids). Her mom is 63 with the same back and migraine problems, but still keeps the house and has dinner ready every night for her husband. There's enough pressure there that shit would hit the fan if she wanted to separate.

Basically I'm in it for the kids. I still love my wife in some ways but I can't spend any more time or emotional capital to help her get her shit together at this point. If I stop focusing on the kids or my career, collectively as a family unit we will all be dragged down with her. She can sit there and play FFXIV/Sea of Thieves/etc., and I will just treat her like a live-in nanny who I happen to share a bed with.

Make sure the business stays slightly in the red or black going forward. Remember that she will be able to rake you over the coals for 50% of everything when she finds some degenerate catboi willing to feed her emotional needs and ditches you.

Tarrant · Apr 9, 2022

I didn't know where else to put this but as it's related to this stuff I figured I would put it here.

I'll preface this with I've always paid my child support and always will. My kids are my greatest responsibility and I always ensure they are taken care of.

That said, I am so tired of two things regarding child support.

1) it being calculated off of gross income. I don't live off my gross income, why is it expected my kids would?

2) Cost of living increases. I don't get a cost of living raise, thus why do I have to pay more? If my kids that I pay on lived with me, that pool of money I get to work with wouldn't change, so why does it with my ex?

stuffs annoying.

Big Phoenix · Apr 9, 2022

Urlithani said:
My wife takes care of the house, and right now that means playing FFXIV 6-10 hours a day.

Dissatisfied housewife with emotional problems spending all day playing MMOs? Sadly we know how this ends.

Urlithani said:
Divorce isn't in the cards for me. I would not prefer it because it wrecked me as a kid, and I won't do it to my own children who need both their parents to support them. My wife and I can be roommates that happen to sleep in the same bed for all I care.

Staying together "for the kids" is a horrible thing to do. It just predisposes them to have bad relationship habits and seek out bad partners. Thats on top of whatever trauma they will experience seeing you two argue/fight/whatever.

Also had a bizarre encounter with a woman off a dating app. Matched with her on bumble and when I responded to her initial message she messaged back saying she wanted to call me right away. While talking to her she says shes constantly surprised how taken back guys are when she tells them the first time she meets up with them to get a drink or cup of coffee she doesnt consider it "date". To her that is just a "meetup" to verify they are who their profile says they are. To her a date is going and having a sit down meal at a restaurant.

She ended up asking me if I was up to get a drink so being bored and intrigued at this I say sure and make plans to meet at some local place. I get there a few minutes after her so shes already drinking a beer. Sit down and have a rather meh conversation that is exactly as she said, basically verifying I was who I said I was. After about 20 minutes as shes finishing her beer she says shes ready to get out of there and so we leave. Never experienced anything like that before, it was like she was speed dating or something.

Putting this into context really made the thing hilarious. Talking to her she said she hasnt worked for 2+ years now due to corona and shes in no rush to find a job, and the best part was shes a very average looking 39 year old woman. So baffling a person in that position could be so utterly dismissive of men when it comes to dating.

Chanur · Apr 10, 2022

Khane said:
You guys havent lived until you've had giant sex. Ever heard of a full body job?

Izo · Apr 10, 2022

Big Phoenix said:
Dissatisfied housewife with emotional problems spending all day playing MMOs? Sadly we know how this ends.

Staying together "for the kids" is a horrible thing to do. It just predisposes them to have bad relationship habits and seek out bad partners. Thats on top of whatever trauma they will experience seeing you two argue/fight/whatever.

Also had a bizarre encounter with a woman off a dating app. Matched with her on bumble and when I responded to her initial message she messaged back saying she wanted to call me right away. While talking to her she says shes constantly surprised how taken back guys are when she tells them the first time she meets up with them to get a drink or cup of coffee she doesnt consider it "date". To her that is just a "meetup" to verify they are who their profile says they are. To her a date is going and having a sit down meal at a restaurant.

She ended up asking me if I was up to get a drink so being bored and intrigued at this I say sure and make plans to meet at some local place. I get there a few minutes after her so shes already drinking a beer. Sit down and have a rather meh conversation that is exactly as she said, basically verifying I was who I said I was. After about 20 minutes as shes finishing her beer she says shes ready to get out of there and so we leave. Never experienced anything like that before, it was like she was speed dating or something.

Putting this into context really made the thing hilarious. Talking to her she said she hasnt worked for 2+ years now due to corona and shes in no rush to find a job, and the best part was shes a very average looking 39 year old woman. So baffling a person in that position could be so utterly dismissive of men when it comes to dating.

So... did you smash?

Izo · Apr 10, 2022

Jackie Treehorn any updates?

Janx · Apr 10, 2022

Izo said:
So... did you smash?

Hope not. That whole event sounds like a rape accusation waiting to happen.

Kirun · Apr 10, 2022

Big Phoenix said:
Dissatisfied housewife with emotional problems spending all day playing MMOs? Sadly we know how this ends.

Staying together "for the kids" is a horrible thing to do. It just predisposes them to have bad relationship habits and seek out bad partners. Thats on top of whatever trauma they will experience seeing you two argue/fight/whatever.

Also had a bizarre encounter with a woman off a dating app. Matched with her on bumble and when I responded to her initial message she messaged back saying she wanted to call me right away. While talking to her she says shes constantly surprised how taken back guys are when she tells them the first time she meets up with them to get a drink or cup of coffee she doesnt consider it "date". To her that is just a "meetup" to verify they are who their profile says they are. To her a date is going and having a sit down meal at a restaurant.

She ended up asking me if I was up to get a drink so being bored and intrigued at this I say sure and make plans to meet at some local place. I get there a few minutes after her so shes already drinking a beer. Sit down and have a rather meh conversation that is exactly as she said, basically verifying I was who I said I was. After about 20 minutes as shes finishing her beer she says shes ready to get out of there and so we leave. Never experienced anything like that before, it was like she was speed dating or something.

Putting this into context really made the thing hilarious. Talking to her she said she hasnt worked for 2+ years now due to corona and shes in no rush to find a job, and the best part was shes a very average looking 39 year old woman. So baffling a person in that position could be so utterly dismissive of men when it comes to dating.

Man, you boys have been out of the game for a LOOOONG fuckin' time if having a quick meetup for coffee/drink is "weird". That was about 85% of my "first dates" with chicks from dating apps. Many times just as a quick thing on my way home from work or out running errands. Why the fuck would I waste my time with dinner and the whole 9 yards if the chick can't hold a conversation, looks totally different than her photos, etc.?

The only slightly "weird" part about that is the fact she wanted to call you RIGHT AWAY. Fuck that, hoe. I got shit to do and it doesn't involve answering phone calls on a whim from a jobless, 39 year old hag who is clearly desperate if she finds it necessary to immediately call someone's personal phone that she saw on an app.

Fogel · Apr 10, 2022

Big Phoenix said:
Dissatisfied housewife with emotional problems spending all day playing MMOs? Sadly we know how this ends.

Staying together "for the kids" is a horrible thing to do. It just predisposes them to have bad relationship habits and seek out bad partners. Thats on top of whatever trauma they will experience seeing you two argue/fight/whatever.

Also had a bizarre encounter with a woman off a dating app. Matched with her on bumble and when I responded to her initial message she messaged back saying she wanted to call me right away. While talking to her she says shes constantly surprised how taken back guys are when she tells them the first time she meets up with them to get a drink or cup of coffee she doesnt consider it "date". To her that is just a "meetup" to verify they are who their profile says they are. To her a date is going and having a sit down meal at a restaurant.

She ended up asking me if I was up to get a drink so being bored and intrigued at this I say sure and make plans to meet at some local place. I get there a few minutes after her so shes already drinking a beer. Sit down and have a rather meh conversation that is exactly as she said, basically verifying I was who I said I was. After about 20 minutes as shes finishing her beer she says shes ready to get out of there and so we leave. Never experienced anything like that before, it was like she was speed dating or something.

Putting this into context really made the thing hilarious. Talking to her she said she hasnt worked for 2+ years now due to corona and shes in no rush to find a job, and the best part was shes a very average looking 39 year old woman. So baffling a person in that position could be so utterly dismissive of men when it comes to dating.

Be careful she doesn't pull the bait and switch on you

Hoss · Apr 10, 2022

Obviously that girl is a believer in the rule that sex comes on a certain date, so she wants to be clear the first date isn't a date. It's the only reason I can think of for not wanting to call the meetup a date.

Tarrant · Apr 10, 2022

Hoss said:
Obviously that girl is a believer in the rule that sex comes on a certain date, so she wants to be clear the first date isn't a date. It's the only reason I can think of for not wanting to call the meetup a date.

Maybe, some girls I found just feel the word “date” automatically means romantic involvement and they do t want to commit to that sort of level of things. Back when I was dating heavily, I had two good prospects that both said at the end of the dinner we hate that it “wasn’t a date” and it was just getting to know one another to see if future dates would be a thing. Both split the check on the meal, I ended up not going back out with one due to drama and the other and I went out a few more times, hooked up and until last year, maintained friendly contact.

at any rate, the word “date” has some weird feelings around it for some people, but an initial meet up isn’t out of the ordinary by any means. I’d usually meet for coffee or something before any dinners and other activities would ensure.

Arative · Apr 10, 2022

When I met my now wife, we did coffee at Starbucks first at my suggestion because I'm cheap and wasn't going to drop $100 on dinner for something that wasn't going to go anywhere. Had a friend that went out on lots of dinner dates that went nowhere that he always paid for. I wasn't going to do that.

Though my wife and I hit it off, so the coffee turned into dinner that night

Cutlery · Apr 10, 2022

Urlithani said:
Why hello there! Ask and you shall receive! Yeah I bought a business and start Monday, despite the fact that my marriage is slowly deteriorating. There's no talk of divorce or anything, so this is just the marriage part.

My wife texted me this morning asking me why I'm the sole owner of the LLC and she's not on the business. She has heard all these stories of husband and wife couples working together and thought that's what we are. I explained that both husband and wife in those examples work 50 hour weeks in order to make it work, and that if she wants to be added to it, she's going to need to put in a solid 40 each week as an investment (because she has no money and has been a stay at home for 12 years). So now she's hurt because I don't trust her (this is the woman who took $12k in payday advances out of my paycheck, lost it all to slot machines at the casino, then hid it from me for almost 11 months using credit cards until all the credit cards were maxxed out and I found out during a phone call with a bankrupty attorney; GEE I WONDER WHY YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T TRUST YOU).

I'm not blameless because I'm not the supportive husband I used to be. I just gave up trying to motivate her and focused on our kids.

We have two boys that are 5 and 6. Older son has autism but is a very sweet kid. He cannot carry a conversation but can vocalizes basic needs. Since Thanksgiving 2020 I have been working two jobs, 7 days a week most of the time in order to pay the bills and put food on the table. My wife takes care of the house, and right now that means playing FFXIV 6-10 hours a day. The kids get on the bus to school, and it's just her from 7:30am to 3:20pm every weekday. With that in mind, despite working 7 days a week I still:

- Take the kids out to play at the playground because she has social anxiety and can't handle crowds (she goes to birthday parties and family social functions but 2-4x a week I take the kids somewhere for a couple of hours each trip)
- Do half the grocery shopping (anxiety)
- Do half the laundry
- Do half of the cleaning and picking up after the kids.
- Do the dishes half the time (I have left on business trips on a sunday night, to come back to the same dishes in the sink on Friday night).
- Cook half the meals

She complains that I don't respect her, and I told her she doesn't respect herself; the house is always a mess and taking 15 minutes a day to pick up a little is just a bridge too far. I tell her we should go get counseling; she thinks it's a waste of time and money (even though we did it for 2 months and it seemed to work great). Divorce isn't in the cards for me. I would not prefer it because it wrecked me as a kid, and I won't do it to my own children who need both their parents to support them. My wife and I can be roommates that happen to sleep in the same bed for all I care.

Luckily she has a lot of exterior pressure on her from my in-laws. Both her mom and sister are your typical Texas-born, evangelical, traditional housewives. They are constantly getting on her case about not holding up her end of the marriage (taking care of the house & kids). Her mom is 63 with the same back and migraine problems, but still keeps the house and has dinner ready every night for her husband. There's enough pressure there that shit would hit the fan if she wanted to separate.

Basically I'm in it for the kids. I still love my wife in some ways but I can't spend any more time or emotional capital to help her get her shit together at this point. If I stop focusing on the kids or my career, collectively as a family unit we will all be dragged down with her. She can sit there and play FFXIV/Sea of Thieves/etc., and I will just treat her like a live-in nanny who I happen to share a bed with.

I get all of this. 5 years ago I would have agreed with all of this. This is very similar to my situation.

I will say this though...I was 100% wrong.

The kids are healthier and better off when she is only influencing them half the time (at best...my oldest decided to live with me). My youngest calls my house the chill house. She gets bummed out when she has to got moms for the weekend. She says her mom just lays around and never does anything fun (back and migraine problems...sound familiar?)

My kids are becoming EXTRAORDINARILY well adjusted to having divorced parents. The oldest hasn't talked to her mom in 2 years and sees no reason to again until she changes her ways (so, likely never). My youngest enjoys the fact that she has 2 sets of parents that love her, and has settled into a routine that works. She has more friends around my ex's house, but my house is the house she grew up in and the base of operations for all the adventures we get to have because we're not bumps on a log letting life pass us by. My 10 year old daughter said to me "we should build a cabin." Fuck yeah, kiddo, let's go buy some land and build a cabin.

Get a good lawyer, get half custody of your kids, find yourself a woman that wants to work for it (they're out there, despite the slog you may have to wade thru to find them), and move on with your life with a partner that puts as much effort in as you do.

The only thing that sucks is I don't think I'll ever be able to give my GF what she wants (getting married) because of how fucked up laws and relationships are. I was lucky I managed to keep my house and my pension. I am sure as fuck not rolling the dice on anything I can control again.

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