Marriage and the Power of Divorce

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
<Gold Donor>
6,998
20,963
See, I solve all of these problems by only working in places with hideous ham beasts.

There's 3 females in the office at my work, and they're all absolutely disgusting in all ways. In fact, one of them quit, and my boss hired an even fatter hambeast to replace her.

Dude either has a type or he doesn't trust himself away from his wife. Haven't figured out which yet.
 

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
<Silver Donator>
14,726
2,613
Or he just doesn't want to deal with drama at the office all the time. Having no women would be ideal to maximize that, but unattractive women who have been married for 30 years is second best.
 
  • 3Like
Reactions: 2 users

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
<Gold Donor>
6,998
20,963
Well, none of them are married, I know that, but every single one is completely unfuckable.

And yes...one of the reasons I took the job is the entire leadership team is white males, and the most drama we have is about deciding how we're going to split up the primo vacation weeks
 

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
46,649
99,451
Learned something hilarious today.

4-5 months ago I went on a "date" with a coworker. Met up with her at a baseball game of her friends then afterwards we where supposed to get something to eat. Well on the way to getting something to eat, she invited 3 people to join us. One of them a rando guy who showed up when we got to the place we where going to eat at. Then about 30 minutes later a friend of hers and I think her friends husband. On top of this she also had her dog with her, some 80-90 pound Australian setter mix that while wasnt aggressive was super hyper and anxious so she was having to constantly focus on it. This ended up being rather awkward, zero intimacy zero romance at all.

Naturally I didnt pick up this womans check. Today I was informed that this woman was actually annoyed that I didnt pay for her meal on that "date".
 
  • 2Mother of God
  • 2Like
  • 1Cringe
Reactions: 4 users

Gurgeh

Silver Baronet of the Realm
4,746
12,893
Learned something hilarious today.

4-5 months ago I went on a "date" with a coworker. Met up with her at a baseball game of her friends then afterwards we where supposed to get something to eat. Well on the way to getting something to eat, she invited 3 people to join us. One of them a rando guy who showed up when we got to the place we where going to eat at. Then about 30 minutes later a friend of hers and I think her friends husband. On top of this she also had her dog with her, some 80-90 pound Australian setter mix that while wasnt aggressive was super hyper and anxious so she was having to constantly focus on it. This ended up being rather awkward, zero intimacy zero romance at all.

Naturally I didnt pick up this womans check. Today I was informed that this woman was actually annoyed that I didnt pay for her meal on that "date".
Wtf man, your stories read like Brian's podcast shorts, making fun of retarded hoes. Great. But everyone involved is 15 years older, at least. And this is the marriage thread, which make the whole stuff really sad.

Move on from this to passeport bro or something. Everything western not maried above 30 in the West is broken beyond repair and it doesn't seem like ypu can compete for the 25ish year old.
 
  • 3Like
  • 1Ice Burn
Reactions: 3 users

Asshat Foler

2024 FoH Asshat
<Gold Donor>
48,194
43,397
Learned something hilarious today.

4-5 months ago I went on a "date" with a coworker. Met up with her at a baseball game of her friends then afterwards we where supposed to get something to eat. Well on the way to getting something to eat, she invited 3 people to join us. One of them a rando guy who showed up when we got to the place we where going to eat at. Then about 30 minutes later a friend of hers and I think her friends husband. On top of this she also had her dog with her, some 80-90 pound Australian setter mix that while wasnt aggressive was super hyper and anxious so she was having to constantly focus on it. This ended up being rather awkward, zero intimacy zero romance at all.

Naturally I didnt pick up this womans check. Today I was informed that this woman was actually annoyed that I didnt pay for her meal on that "date".
We have a dating thread. Go post this stuff there. Let the married and divorced people have their own thread.

 
  • 3Like
Reactions: 2 users

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
46,649
99,451
We have a dating thread. Go post this stuff there. Let the married and divorced people have their own thread.

Why are you butthurt that thread isn't meant for you either.
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user

Borzak

Bronze Baron of the Realm
25,790
33,667
Only way I'm going on a date with a woman that has a dog if by some chance I start dating a woman with a retreiver that is trainined in retreiving ducks/watervfowl. And I would ask for papers on where it came from ;)

Just saying.
 

Control

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
3,111
8,227
I dunno, if her dog is well trained, that would be a pretty great sign that she isn't a complete disaster.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,516
14,238
If she asks you to fuck the dog, you could be Ossoi's eskimo brother
 
  • 1Double Worf
  • 1Worf
  • 1Truth!
Reactions: 2 users

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
<Gold Donor>
6,998
20,963
Turns out my ex got a ring from the cuck she left me for. Guy is decent looking, makes a lot of money, has a big house, wants kids, proposes to 45 year old woman without uterus. It's like they're meant for each other.

Thing is that after I heard that from the kid, I felt this weird sense of relief. Like, I finally feel normal now. Like she's never gonna be my problem again. Like I'm not sad anymore. My life has been one non stop sad fest for the last 6 years. Lost an 18 year marriage, had to spend $10 or 20k to clear up the legal shit after the divorce, had to work 70 hours a week for 2 years to stay afloat and keep the house, had a buddy of 25 years die in his sleep, had another buddy put a bullet in his brain, lost a 13 year old dog, left a job I was at for 20 years. That's a rough fucking six years.

And I just realized last night that I don't think I'm carrying any of that baggage anymore, and I can just be normal. I don't even remember the last time I wasn't stressed the fuck out about everything. What a weird thing.
 
  • 20Like
Reactions: 19 users

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
46,649
99,451
I dunno, if her dog is well trained, that would be a pretty great sign that she isn't a complete disaster.
It was not well trained. It was friendly but had absolutely zero chill. It either needed to be constantly doing something or have attention on it.

Which was made worse by being a huge dog.

Move on from this to passeport bro or something. Everything western not maried above 30 in the West is broken beyond repair and it doesn't seem like ypu can compete for the 25ish year old.
I don't know if 25 year olds are a panacea even if you can pull them. See the past I made about two of them at my job, one a defacto prostitute on seeking arrangements and the other a pure coal burner. And they where decent looking girl next door types, not the kind of women you'd expect to be doing that.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
47,580
222,018
Chicks got 2 but dogs got 8 man. You ever try to fondle 8 breasts at once? It's a sensory overload

giphy.gif