- 7,577
- 11,857
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
-
Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Blazin
Creative Title
- 7,349
- 37,092
- 11,452
- 62,891
Blazin
my $.02:Were I in your shoes, I would attempt to get my daughter to follow the path of children first and doing so as a priority. Career? Following up on what you went to school for? Secondary. And not by a little bit.
Put it like this: why does one go to school? If it was to make $, then the raison d'etre to make more money than what you need for subsistence is to have a family. All else is hedonism. Looking at in the strictest sense, of course. So, congrats, your daughter got to the point where she's not only good to go on forming a family, but has options about whether to continue with her good career plus her husband's, or to go a different route that is also likely to lead to a good outcome.
Now, either one of those options might not be debt free millionaire at 30, but let's be honest: that's not what 99.9% of people are capable of accomplishing. Especially outside of the fields of finance, tech, or legal industries.
As an example, consider Airline pilots. In that field, you're (typically) barely getting out of the pissant regional carrier jobs by the time you're 30. And that's if you went super fast and knew that's what you wanted to do when you were 18 and didn't have any setbacks along the way and even got a little lucky here and there. But would you say that's a bad career to have even with the caveat that it takes more than a decade to get going? After a few more years and some more seniority, you're easily up into the $200-350K/yr (or more if you can go corporate!) wage bracket.
I'd say that's a pretty good life path even though you're not a 30yr old millionaire.
- 2
Cad
scientia potentia est
- 26,446
- 54,410
There are very, veeeeery few jobs that put you at a 30 year old millionaire (by net worth, anyway) outside of private equity, banking, entrepreneurs, or investors (who need something to invest, so, where'd you get that...). Doctors don't finish school/residency until at least 30. A lawyer who gets hired at the best firm in the country straight out of school wouldn't have a million by 30 even if they saved 100% of their salary.
Were I in your shoes, I would attempt to get my daughter to follow the path of children first and doing so as a priority. Career? Following up on what you went to school for? Secondary. And not by a little bit.
Put it like this: why does one go to school? If it was to make $, then the raison d'etre to make more money than what you need for subsistence is to have a family. All else is hedonism. Looking at in the strictest sense, of course. So, congrats, your daughter got to the point where she's not only good to go on forming a family, but has options about whether to continue with her good career plus her husband's, or to go a different route that is also likely to lead to a good outcome.
Now, either one of those options might not be debt free millionaire at 30, but let's be honest: that's not what 99.9% of people are capable of accomplishing. Especially outside of the fields of finance, tech, or legal industries.
As an example, consider Airline pilots. In that field, you're (typically) barely getting out of the pissant regional carrier jobs by the time you're 30. And that's if you went super fast and knew that's what you wanted to do when you were 18 and didn't have any setbacks along the way and even got a little lucky here and there. But would you say that's a bad career to have even with the caveat that it takes more than a decade to get going? After a few more years and some more seniority, you're easily up into the $200-350K/yr (or more if you can go corporate!) wage bracket.
I'd say that's a pretty good life path even though you're not a 30yr old millionaire.
Millionaire by 30 is a HUGE ask. 40 is doable in any number of careers.
- 4
- 1
OU Ariakas
Diet Dr. Pepper Enjoyer
- 7,712
- 22,646
I had my first kids at 34 and my last kid at 39. My oldest are now 9 and the youngest is 5 and I already wish I'd had them 10 years earlier at least. I want be on this earth for as long as humanly possible with them and their kids. It matters more than every single dollar over what we need to survive.
- 2
- 1
BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
- 14,985
- -1,192
If you try I'm sure you can come up with some fears the other way. Just imagine that you convince her to put her foot down about the military thing and he decides to break up with her because she doesn't share his dreams and she blames you for ruining her life? Or he goes along with it but resents her for it and they have a messy divorce after 10 miserable years and 3 kids?
Not saying that would happen but anything they do could wind up being a disaster. I would encourage them to do their homework and consider possible downsides but I wouldn't try to influence her decision. Even if it is a mistake it's her life and she should get to make her own mistakes, not yours.
- 1
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
- 28,013
- 16,691
Yeah. He enrolled in Police academy very quickly. Can't recall if it was before or after the wedding. Sister went back to school and failed out IIRC. But she was shooting up the ladder at blockbuster at the time. Then years later after they had kids she went back to school and became a teacher.
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
- 44,274
- 53,460
Alexander never would have made it to India without help from Lend-Lease
- 2
- 1
- 1
- 11,452
- 62,891
I needed 3 things to sound good and first thought of medical, but that's essentially the same situation you lay out here with even more loans likely attached to get there.
Legal was the next thing I thought of, and I'm sure you're right about what you're saying here. I hear CPA's are on a fast track to crazy high pay these days? Maybe that changes if Trump overhauls the tax codes enough though. What do you need the armies of CPA's all over the place if there's no tax code to navigate?
(pls no Trump derail
)
Kithani
Blackwing Lair Raider
- 1,329
- 1,699
Bro assuming one graduates at 22 and compounds at 10% a year you’d have to basically save what like 75k per year post-tax?
I’m just not sure there’s a whole lot of jobs out there like that for undergrad biology majors unless they have extremely heavy support from parents which I assume your kid does.
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
- 43,863
- 114,740
It really is reasonably difficult to break six figures. Even today with all of our inflation and everything. Many decent jobs top out for most people in the $90k range. In a software career with absolutely no hiccups unless you count that I did not bail on my first job at 3 years exactly and I haven't bailed on my second job at 3 years either. Still took me like 5 years to break six figures from my first job in the field.I needed 3 things to sound good and first thought of medical, but that's essentially the same situation you lay out here with even more loans likely attached to get there.
Legal was the next thing I thought of, and I'm sure you're right about what you're saying here. I hear CPA's are on a fast track to crazy high pay these days? Maybe that changes if Trump overhauls the tax codes enough though. What do you need the armies of CPA's all over the place if there's no tax code to navigate?
(pls no Trump derail
I had 1M net worth by like 31. But I also had zero debt and numerous other advantages. Insanely tall order for anyone but the top 5% of people really.
- 1
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 38,546
- 16,546
Blazin
Creative Title
- 7,349
- 37,092
She started maxing her ira 6 years ago she isn’t quite maxing her 401k because she has been paying off her skin in the game college loan, which she is just about done with . Has little living expense (there is the kicker right?) And she makes a good wage .
Making it to six figures is hard and it’s a crazy challenge for people depending on circumstances, she has had significant advantages I and many people didn’t have. Certainly didn’t mean to imply otherwise . Not to be defensive just the bro implies I don’t get the dynamics , I do.
I’m speaking as a father not as judging how well someone does or doesn’t do. I just want her to live better than me , which I think is pretty normal I don’t want to minimize how hard it can be to get ahead and I apologize to anyone if I came across that way .
- 1
Daidraco
Avatar of War Slayer
- 10,654
- 11,301
Im dating women in their mid to late 20's. Im on the lower end, I think?... of this boards age range at 38. Im rather well to do with a well known family, but I'm going to meet one of these girls father's one day and Im going to be mortified if they are in their early 40's. Just saying,
Blazin
- Shit could be way worse. I think he sounds like an upstanding guy, personally.
Blazin
- Shit could be way worse. I think he sounds like an upstanding guy, personally.
Cad
scientia potentia est
- 26,446
- 54,410
SV tech career is probably one of the other avenues since you can start young and make big bank pretty early, but thats a really small subset of the overall tech sector.
I'd say being "on the way" to wealth through good financial practices is a lot more important than a super high income, although certainly the super high income doesn't hurt.
- 2
Blazin
Creative Title
- 7,349
- 37,092
Yeah he is a cool dude , if my daughter likes him he can’t be half bad . Like a legit kind person maybe could have used some guidance but has done wonderful for what he has had .Im dating women in their mid to late 20's. Im on the lower end, I think?... of this boards age range at 38. Im rather well to do with a well known family, but I'm going to meet one of these girls father's one day and Im going to be mortified if they are in their early 40's. Just saying,
- 2
- 49,913
- 239,620
Kirun
Buzzfeed Editor
- 19,741
- 16,164
Well, the other issue is that a lot of those jobs have been pretty much in that "salary range" for a solid 10+ or so years now. Because you have a fuckload more competition now from foreign workers, technology being more readily available, etc.
The problem is that you were able to pinch and save in a time where $75k/year went a pretty fucking long way. Now you need that just to rent a relatively average fucking 1bd. apartment in most major "tech" areas.
- 2
Chanur
Shit Posting Professional
- 29,544
- 48,571
I would be concerned she might resent you if you say no to trying to have another, despite what she might say on the matter. I think you should try, while another loss would be heartbreaking, another baby would be miraculous.
Either way I hope for the best for you.