Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Blazin · Thursday at 7:59 PM

lurkingdirk said:
Pfffffft. Who isn't a millionaire by 30? Jeeze.

by 30?! now we are shaving off up to a decade. In your 30s. Took me 14 years
This is my first 14 years. Certainly not easy but it IS doable and without crazy high salary. Can even see the trouble years in there where I got stuck around 400k. snowball starts really working for you after you get passed that level. That time frame is why I think she can beat me, off to a faster start and hopefully doesn't have a GFC to deal with it, but every generation has to go through some pretty rough financial periods. Probably a better topic of investing thread.

Chanur · Thursday at 7:59 PM

Blazin said:
That she loves him and wants to support him and that it would "only be 4 years" . I'm not sure that part is even true, I'd have to some digging depending on which MOS i believe some of the officer positions they want more than 4. He comes from a military family and there is high family pressure for military service, his father just passed away rather suddenly and it seems to have solidified his feeling that he must do this

Having been in the military, it's absolutely murder on marriages. Make sure they talk about that ahead of time and are not rushing to get married for the housing and stuff. Service members love to do that.

Blazin · Thursday at 8:03 PM

Chanur said:
Having been in the military, it's absolutely murder on marriages. Make sure they talk about that ahead of time and are not rushing to get married for the housing and stuff. Service members love to do that.

His dad went through a divorce during service, he just seems to have more of "It'll be an adventure" spirit about it rather than thinking about the challenge. The exuberance of youth.

Chanur · Thursday at 8:05 PM

Blazin said:
His dad went through a divorce during service, he just seems to have more of "It'll be an adventure" spirit about it rather than thinking about the challenge. The exuberance of youth.

I know it's Captain hindsight and all but I would not marry again until after I was out of the service if I could do it again.

Kithani · Thursday at 8:54 PM

Blazin said:
by 30?! now we are shaving off up to a decade. In your 30s. Took me 14 years
This is my first 14 years. Certainly not easy but it IS doable and without crazy high salary. Can even see the trouble years in there where I got stuck around 400k. snowball starts really working for you after you get passed that level. That time frame is why I think she can beat me, off to a faster start and hopefully doesn't have a GFC to deal with it, but every generation has to go through some pretty rough financial periods. Probably a better topic of investing thread.
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I’m probably closer to your daughter’s age than your age as I really am one of the youngest forum members (started playing EQ at like age 11) so take it with a grain of salt but you really do seem a bit over focused on net worth.

I grew up in a (and am also now part of my own) high income household and I saw my parents do the same thing with my sibling and her spouse but now I think they realize there’s more to life than your annual income/bank account.

That being said it does sound like a full retard idea for this kid to join the military and I probably wouldn’t have any qualms about pointing that out lol

Seananigans · Thursday at 9:03 PM

Chanur said:
I know it's Captain hindsight and all but I would not marry again until after I was out of the service if I could do it again.

The social climate being what it is in 2025, I wouldn't wish a military marriage on anyone. I'd fully expect one or both parties to cheat in 95% of cases nowadays.

TJT · Thursday at 9:08 PM

lurkingdirk said:
Pfffffft. Who isn't a millionaire by 30? Jeeze.

Did you supposedly work in academia of all things? Didn't know they paid that well amigo.

lurkingdirk · Thursday at 9:23 PM

TJT said:
Did you supposedly work in academia of all things? Didn't know they paid that well amigo.

They don't. I did and do other things. And the tongue was firmly in cheek.

BrutulTM · Thursday at 9:34 PM

Blazin said:
That time frame is why I think she can beat me, off to a faster start and hopefully doesn't have a GFC to deal with it, but every generation has to go through some pretty rough financial periods.

No offense, but you are really sounding like you're projecting your wishes on her. It's definitely not her job to live the life you want her to no matter how close you are.

Tarrant · Thursday at 10:14 PM

Somedays I forget im the poor among the sea of millionaires that is FoH.

I say that jokingly of course. Sorta.

Blazin · 2025-03-21T02:57:30-0400

Kithani said:
I’m probably closer to your daughter’s age than your age as I really am one of the youngest forum members (started playing EQ at like age 11) so take it with a grain of salt but you really do seem a bit over focused on net worth.

I grew up in a (and am also now part of my own) high income household and I saw my parents do the same thing with my sibling and her spouse but now I think they realize there’s more to life than your annual income/bank account.

That being said it does sound like a full retard idea for this kid to join the military and I probably wouldn’t have any qualms about pointing that out lol

Quite far from the mark, telling a guy who hasn’t worked in over a decade I prioritize wealth/income . I care little to none about it outside of financial freedom. I believe in living simply , living below my means not chasing wealth. Don’t know if you are fimiliar with FIRE and the ethos around it. I am kinda passionate about being a saver not letting consumerism enslave you (shackles of debt)

BrutulTM said:
No offense, but you are really sounding like you're projecting your wishes on her. It's definitely not her job to live the life you want her to no matter how close you are.

Yeah definitely not, I’m basing my view on what she is telling me she wants . She has and is telling me she wants to live the way we do, that required a path that is not status quo. This chain of thought is all from me saying just getting a financial footing in your early 30s can be incongruent to a FIRE goal. The guy is doing well he also shares the vision , this decision to join the military will take him further from his goal , maybe it’s still worth doing, I am concerned about the degree my daughter understands how it can move her further from her goals.

I’m a zealot about it and can see how my statements could be interpreted not the thread for discussion on independent living so I’ll leave it at .

Lambourne · 2025-03-21T04:10:26-0400

Blazin said:
Quite far from the mark, telling a guy who hasn’t worked in over a decade I prioritize wealth/income . I care little to none about it outside of financial freedom. I believe in living simply , living below my means not chasing wealth. Don’t know if you are fimiliar with FIRE and the ethos around it. I am kinda passionate about being a saver not letting consumerism enslave you (shackles of debt)

Yeah definitely not, I’m basing my view on what she is telling me she wants . She has and is telling me she wants to live the way we do, that required a path that is not status quo. This chain of thought is all from me saying just getting a financial footing in your early 30s can be incongruent to a FIRE goal. The guy is doing well he also shares the vision , this decision to join the military will take him further from his goal , maybe it’s still worth doing, I am concerned about the degree my daughter understands how it can move her further from her goals.

I’m a zealot about it and can see how my statements could be interpreted not the thread for discussion on independent living so I’ll leave it at .

Have you met the guy's parents? I know some families are really rabid about military service but I imagine many people would understand if the guy wants to marry and start a family and know how a military career would interfere with that. There's other careers that offer the respect given to those that serve.

I am not a parent but from what I've seen around me I definitely see the value in having kids earlier rather than later. It's one of those windows of opportunity that you don't realize is there until after it has closed for you.

Blazin · 2025-03-21T04:19:18-0400

Lambourne said:
Have you met the guy's parents? I know some families are really rabid about military service but I imagine many people would understand if the guy wants to marry and start a family and know how a military career would interfere with that. There's other careers that offer the respect given to those that serve.

I am not a parent but from what I've seen around me I definitely see the value in having kids earlier rather than later. It's one of those windows of opportunity that you don't realize is there until after it has closed for you.

His father passed , I have not met them .

moonarchia · 2025-03-21T04:20:07-0400

Noodleface said:
I dont know what makes people think I'm not having adult conversations with my wife lol. We've been together a long time. I'm just using this place as a sounding board to see if I'm being retarded.

I had some concerns based on historical data.

I'd never in a million years snip my balls if she wasnt 100% on board with that decision. I don't even like buying a new video game without mentioning it

Love you bro, no homo, but when you make assumptions about her reasons without verifying it, you are laying the groundwork for things to go five ways fucky. If she is banging your brains out because she is secretly hoping for a miracle baby, and you are serious about not wanting a third, that's a problem. And one that requires a conversation. If you are dead set on not wanting #3 , or worse, having to go through more heartbreak when she miscarries again, one of you needs to sack up and get snipped.

BrutulTM · 2025-03-21T11:10:09-0400

Blazin said:
Yeah definitely not, I’m basing my view on what she is telling me she wants . She has and is telling me she wants to live the way we do, that required a path that is not status quo. This chain of thought is all from me saying just getting a financial footing in your early 30s can be incongruent to a FIRE goal. The guy is doing well he also shares the vision , this decision to join the military will take him further from his goal , maybe it’s still worth doing, I am concerned about the degree my daughter understands how it can move her further from her goals.

I’m a zealot about it and can see how my statements could be interpreted not the thread for discussion on independent living so I’ll leave it at .

Obviously I don't know them. Maybe their dreams are completely in sync with what you're obsessed with, maybe they're just going along with it to make you happy, maybe what you're telling them sounds good but they need some life experience to put it in context. I'd still tread lightly if I were you.

Blazin · 2025-03-21T11:15:22-0400

BrutulTM said:
Obviously I don't know them. Maybe their dreams are completely in sync with what you're obsessed with, maybe they're just going along with it to make you happy. I'd still tread lightly if I were you.

I am treading lightly, that's why I'm in here venting as an outlet it's just a stressful life transition and I just want her happy and fulfilled.

My other kid he's a whole different story, children can be so different even with the exact upbringing. I have no idea what he wants, and it seems he doesn't either.

Khane · 2025-03-21T11:19:14-0400

He only wants one thing dad.

And it's DISGUSTING!!!!

Blazin · 2025-03-21T11:29:15-0400

Khane said:
He only wants one thing dad.

And it's DISGUSTING!!!!

I wish man, I thought that would be the issue. Unless you mean more video games because that seems to be his sole motivation in life.

Control · 2025-03-21T11:38:19-0400

Blazin said:
His father passed , I have not met them .

Dunno what kind of relationship you have with the guy, but you could try giving him some guidance too. You might be able to point out some things that he would just have never considered on his own. Young people (or people in general really) are pretty shitty at seeing the actual range of possibilities and nth order results/consequences. If he's actually a good guy, he'll listen and at least consider things.

moonarchia · 2025-03-21T12:47:09-0400

Blazin said:
I wish man, I thought that would be the issue. Unless you mean more video games because that seems to be his sole motivation in life.

Oh good, you raised a next gen FOHer.

Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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