Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Tarrant

Tarrant

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Blazin said:
I agree and that is why I"m cautious to be contrary to the idea. I'm on her side, at some point emotionally that will have to merge into being on THEIR side but is easier said then done.

She has told me that in their discussions she has expressed to them that she wants him to promise that they will then come back here and start a family. My FEAR (maybe unfounded) is that he won't respect that . It's just a fear that I'm sharing, my daughter is so important to me that it’a harder dynamic to always be calm and rational. She can't get her 20s back if he screws her on this.
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Just sounds like you’re being a good dad man. Keep up the good work.
 
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Captain Suave

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Blazin said:
she has expressed to them that she wants him to promise that they will then come back here and start a family. My FEAR (maybe unfounded) is that he won't respect that .
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His respect or not, that may not be a promise realistically possible to keep. Life circumstances change and everyone reevaluates, especially early in adult life around employment and geography. She's got to be comfortable with a substantial risk that a major commitment for his sake could preclude her getting what she wants.
 
Hoss

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Noodleface said:
I dont know what makes people think I'm not having adult conversations with my wife lol. We've been together a long time. I'm just using this place as a sounding board to see if I'm being retarded.

I had some concerns based on historical data.

I'd never in a million years snip my balls if she wasnt 100% on board with that decision. I don't even like buying a new video game without mentioning it
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So you thought a bunch of retards would be able to sniff that out, eh?

To me it boils down to whether she's likely to get pregnant naturally. If not, then roll the dice so she can know she tried her best. Have you thought about adoption? I know it can be expensive and tedious, but if she really wants a girl, this can gaurantee it.
 
Hoss

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TJT said:
Air Force doesn't even offer job guarantees. As in you can join to do X job and do that job. The army was the only one that offered that. At least back in the day. That isn't to say you wouldn't spend time mowing grass and other dumb shit. But you would be trained to do X job and you would do it as the situation arose.

The rest of the branches offer categories of jobs.
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That's interesting. Thanks for the info. I'll have to remember to ask some air force friends about that. Most I can think of off the top of my head went into the AF with a degree. For instance one was already an MD. I'm betting he got guarantees that he wouldn't be fueling jets.
 
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Blazin

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Grok is helping me work through some of the administrative process for how it works. Lots more homework to do but it sounds like there is a stronger chance of a guarantee with ANG than active
 
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Noodleface

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Hoss said:
So you thought a bunch of retards would be able to sniff that out, eh?

To me it boils down to whether she's likely to get pregnant naturally. If not, then roll the dice so she can know she tried her best. Have you thought about adoption? I know it can be expensive and tedious, but if she really wants a girl, this can gaurantee it.
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We did consider it briefly but ultimately ended up not wanting to do that.
 
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Palum

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Blazin said:
I agree and that is why I"m cautious to be contrary to the idea. I'm on her side, at some point emotionally that will have to merge into being on THEIR side but is easier said then done.

She has told me that in their discussions she has expressed to them that she wants him to promise that they will then come back here and start a family. My FEAR (maybe unfounded) is that he won't respect that . It's just a fear that I'm sharing, my daughter is so important to me that its a harder dynamic to always be calm and rational. She can't get her 20s back if he screws her on this.
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Here's the thing. You only have the two options. You can either try and convince one of them not to go through with it, or you can not do that. Either way it sounds like you will support her, that's really all you can do besides offer wisdom. The more control you attempt to exert either way the worse it would get. Alexander had conquered most of the known world by her age, I'm sure she can figure out how to plan her life based on her marriage circumstances.
 
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Prodigal

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Blazin said:
Alexander had a penis, a crucial ingredient for sound decision making.
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IMG_1374.gif


I mean, I can’t deny that having one influenced some of my decisions.
 
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Blazin

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Palum said:
Here's the thing. You only have the two options. You can either try and convince one of them not to go through with it, or you can not do that. Either way it sounds like you will support her, that's really all you can do besides offer wisdom. The more control you attempt to exert either way the worse it would get. Alexander had conquered most of the known world by her age, I'm sure she can figure out how to plan her life based on her marriage circumstances.
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Pensis aside, I will likely try to just help them be as informed as possible understanding different paths they can take. Young people can have rather narrow vision from the lack of experience. But you're correct it's ultimately in their hands and it's not so egregious that I would put the full weight of influence on it she'll find her way and our paths are rarely ideal
 
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Blazin

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TomServo said:
Alexander also had the greatest military of the ancient world handed to him. Bro straight up just executed the plan of action Philip developed and could had executed himself.
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I think the Russians did all the heaving lifting or am I mixing up my military campaigns? I'm sure we can spiral this into a proper derail that some faggot amod can get their panties in a bunch about
 
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Noodleface

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Blazin said:
Sorry if I missed but is this desire rooted in wanting a daughter you think outside of just wanting another child?
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There's probably some of that i'm sure. It's not been explicitly said but she has mentioned over the years little comments about never having a daughter
 
Kithani

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Hoss said:
I remember when my brother in law asked for my dad's permission. My mom and sister both knew it was happening. He invited everybody over for fajitas. Started talking about the future to work up to asking for her hand. Then my dad started arguing with him about how convoluted his future plans were. Reminds me a little of what blazin was talking about. he wanted to be a cop and he was planning to do shit all ass backwards. They argued, the rest of us left to let them continue. I found out what was happening on the way home. By the end of the night dad convinced him to not put it off and enroll in police academy sooner than later and for her to go back and finish college. According to them, at the end BIL got exasperated and shouted LOOK I WAS JUST TRYING TO ASK FOR YOUR DAUGHTER'S HAND IN MARRIAGE. Dad shut up and went, Oh, yeah sure. That would be great! I kind of thought it was already a done deal.

Anyway, we all love him. We told her at the wedding that if they split up, he gets us in the divorce.

I was lucky in a way that my wife's dad was dead. I didn't see a reason to ask her mom.

Edit: I say in a way because I really would have liked to have met him. He seemed pretty cool.
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Ok but did he end up doing all the bullshit he was talking about?
 
lurkingdirk

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Noodleface said:
I dont know what makes people think I'm not having adult conversations with my wife lol. We've been together a long time. I'm just using this place as a sounding board to see if I'm being retarded.

I had some concerns based on historical data.

I'd never in a million years snip my balls if she wasnt 100% on board with that decision. I don't even like buying a new video game without mentioning it
Click to expand...

This is why I know you're smart, and it's also why you're still married. Just keep on being you.
 
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Kirun

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Noodleface said:
There's probably some of that i'm sure. It's not been explicitly said but she has mentioned over the years little comments about never having a daughter
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Just tell her it isn't your fault that you have such powerful seed and are good breeding stock that only produces male heirs. We used to yeet females off cliffs in a more civilized time.
 
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Fucker

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Blazin said:
He is in a unique situation his parents are (were) MY parents age. He has a brother my age that he barely knows, he is a much later in life Oops that just happened baby. So the generational dynamics for him a little wonky.
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My cousin was in college when she married into military life to a very driven and ambitious guy, and it still took him a while for the career to take root. She wanted kids right away so they did that, but also she was fine with being a SAHM.

I know the generational wonkiness thing. I was also an Oops child, came along very late. My eldest sibling was already more or less out of my life when I was very young, and quite literally have only spoken a few paragraphs worth of words to her my entire life. GF and I are more or less the same age, and her parents are a lot younger than mine.

My mom's side of the family has a lot of women who kept having kids from early on to very late. I never really did figure out who is who, and had my mom write it all down for me last year.

Really the only point of all that is there is great value in having kids as early as possible, a conclusion I came to having seen every end of the spectrum.
 
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Blazin

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Fucker said:
My cousin was in college when she married into military life to a very driven and ambitious guy, and it still took him a while for the career to take root. She wanted kids right away so they did that, but also she was fine with being a SAHM.

I know the generational wonkiness thing. I was also an Oops child, came along very late. My eldest sibling was already more or less out of my life when I was very young, and quite literally have only spoken a few paragraphs worth of words to her my entire life. GF and I are more or less the same age, and her parents are a lot younger than mine.

My mom's side of the family has a lot of women who kept having kids from early on to very late. I never really did figure out who is who, and had my mom write it all down for me last year.

Really the only point of all that is there is great value in having kids as early as possible, a conclusion I came to having seen every end of the spectrum.
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My wife and I had kids early, my daughter grew up with that and likes the idea of it. Her closeness to me is what I think for him is a little odd, he didn't grow up with that much interaction in his life. So they just have different perspectives, it was hard having kids early but now having adult children who really aren't that far in age from me I think is awesome. My dream is to be able to be there to watch my kids turn 60 not leave them when they are 30-40
 
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