Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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BrutulTM_sl said:
I get the impression that Khane has a checklist as long as his arm and the girl that meets everything on it doesn't actually exist.
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Yea it probably does seem that way but it's actually the exact opposite. I still go out with women I am fairly certain I'm not going to be into just to give it a chance and because you can't judge a book by its cover. In all honesty my previous relationship kind of ruined things for me. Everything was amazing with her right from the start. We liked all the same things, spent a ton of time together out of just wanting to be with each other and I really, really loved her family. And it was the best sex I've ever had. It didn't work out because we started fighting about money and she became cold and distant, at which point I ended things. But now everytime I meet someone I expect to get that same feeling because I've experienced it and in my romantic life I can't live without it.

There seems to be a fair amount of people in this thread that ended up with the first person who made them feel that way and I don't think they truly realize just how lucky they are. My friends all say I'm way too picky and my answer to them is "Think about how the two of you make each other feel, how soon you knew you wanted to be with each other. Now imagine it all ending tomorrow and trying to find it again and how excruciating that might be. Unless you think that sort of love is easy to find". Anyway, that's enough of that. We want more psycho hook up stories.
 
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a_skeleton_03

<Banned>
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The big difference with Khane and the rest of us is that he is truly single. He has no current attachments that are long term. No kids, no ex-wives (that I remember). He is truly 'alone'.

At his age (30's right) that is a time where you absolutely have to manufacture relationships by hand. You sculpt them and they are works of art or abysmal failures.

The rest of us if our wives left us or died we have a Russian nesting doll of a life that includes many circles of influence where we can freely move in and out of to find women we have already subconsciously rated and did a pro/con list on. We also have regular interactions with these circles where we can see the women on the outskirts we can try to pick off.

That sound about right Khane?
 
Lejina

Lejina

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Being ex military, Id wager he has seen a fair number of single guys of all sort of ages being posted to random places and finding themselves with a blank slate for social circle (himself included). So that gives a general idea of the issue and he can relate.

Pretty spot on with the overall picture I gotta say.
 
TJT

TJT

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Well Khane, I certainly can understand that position. My previous relationship ended for similar reasons. I moved, she followed and I helped her land a really excellent job in the finance sector. This was her first job with A.) strong salary and B.) excellent prospects/mobility. After that everything became about money and it just drove me fucking nuts. I've always been good with money solely because I don't give a shit about it other than not wanting to be in a position where I have none. But it became her life, everything was about making more money and chasing the idiotic rat race. I had never seen someone go from a truly nice individual to actively looking for ways to throw coworkers under the bus for anything she could think of in order to get in a stronger position for promotion. Purposefully helping people get hired who were less competent than she was... fucking insanity.

Some true Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde shit. When it became apparent that I didn't have that love of money... which I never did int he first place. She became cold, distant and mean. But such is life. I'm only 27 and have always been quite the loner. My love of being active and extreme sports has kept me from having another relationship just yet. Although it does reel in a lot who think such things are cool. Which is fun. Even most active girls wouldn't even consider going on a huge bike tour or something. Finding someone who is stable and also enjoys, or at least accepts such things is quite hard indeed.

But if its psycho hookup stories we want. Oh boy do I have some to share!
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Question for tenks and anyone else who did some heavy online dating: what did you actually do on dates? Did you have a standard first date? I've only gone out with 2 chicks this year - first we met for coffee near a park and walked around the park. It was supremely boring but then again I didn't click with the girl. It was too boring so for the other girl (nurse) I felt like a certain kind of food so I treated to that. Too expensive for a grad student stipend.

It's essential I keep my cost down because I take home $15k a year, but I also often accept the male role of paying first date because I'm the one who asked usually. By 2nd or 3rd date it's not a concern for me but the first one I think it's kinda tacky to be like "oh, you're paying for yourself." So, can anyone relay their experiences with keeping costs down, what worked and what didn't?
 
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Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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Dabamf_sl said:
Question for tenks and anyone else who did some heavy online dating: what did you actually do on dates? Did you have a standard first date? I've only gone out with 2 chicks this year - first we met for coffee near a park and walked around the park. It was supremely boring but then again I didn't click with the girl. It was too boring so for the other girl (nurse) I felt like a certain kind of food so I treated to that. Too expensive for a grad student stipend.

It's essential I keep my cost down because I take home $15k a year, but I also often accept the male role of paying first date because I'm the one who asked usually. By 2nd or 3rd date it's not a concern for me but the first one I think it's kinda tacky to be like "oh, you're paying for yourself." So, can anyone relay their experiences with keeping costs down, what worked and what didn't?
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I was in a different situation than you so my advice probably isn't gospel. I always went to a pretty decent sit down restaurant for our first date. I didn't just go on a date with absolutely anyone that sent me a message. If we clicked I was willing to invest $50 into our first encounter. But that, from my research, is more the exception than the rule. Most people seem to think meeting for drinks or coffee is a better idea. Usually we'd have dinner then I'd suggest going for coffee/ice cream or something. But this is also while I was living with myself making around $60k/yr so throwing around some expendable money wasn't a huge deal.

By the second or third date I'd try and mix things up and meet her more in the afternoon before dinner and do something. Oddly enough roller skating was generally a hit. It doesn't hurt inline skating is, embarrassingly enough, the thing I excel the most at in life. Zoo was also a good choice.
 
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a_skeleton_03

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So I got a friend request from a couple's facebook profile today. I rejected it and unfriended the both of them on their single accounts.

I despise that kind of crap with a passion. You can't trust each other to have separate facebook profiles so you need to make a group one? Just don't make one or I don't know just work through your problems. Either way I don't want to be associated with the boat anchor that is your failed marriage.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

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I also dislike the joint FB account. Most of the time you can just assume that it's the chick because they seem to use it more often in those groups, but it's lame not knowing which person is posting. If you are that worried about your spouse fooling around on FB then just use the same PW on both accounts or something.
 
Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
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Facebook is now being named in a third of divorces. Besides the fact that I despise the whole "look at me" aspect of it, I almost never post anything on my FB page specifically because the ONLY thing it can contribute to your relationship is strife. So many tiny insignificant things can be blown into huge accusations because you're gf/wife is feeling insecure enough that day that jealousy literally turns them into a Green Eyed Monster. Fuck, I remember a few years ago getting roasted by a GF because suddenly my relationship status "disappeared" and she accused me of hiding it, when in fact they had just changed their privacy security setup on that day. Seriously fuck Facebook.

Facebook, Divorce Linked In New Study
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Frenzied Wombat_sl said:
Facebook is now being named in a third of divorces. Besides the fact that I despise the whole "look at me" aspect of it, I almost never post anything on my FB page specifically because the ONLY thing it can contribute to your relationship is strife. So many tiny insignificant things can be blown into huge accusations because you're gf/wife is feeling insecure enough that day that jealousy literally turns them into a Green Eyed Monster. Fuck, I remember a few years ago getting roasted by a GF because suddenly my relationship status "disappeared" and she accused me of hiding it, when in fact they had just changed their privacy security setup on that day. Seriously fuck Facebook.

Facebook, Divorce Linked In New Study
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Cheating is so insanely easy in this day and age which means its also extremely easy to get caught.
If she spends her day on it chatting up old boyfriends, then yeah. Facebook has introduced a whole new avenue of temptation to the bored stay at home wife.
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A lot more than just bored house wives. Everyone has their own cellphone nowdays, everyone has their own email and social media profiles. Being able to cheat is literally at your fingertips. Before you had to worry about if your side girl was gonna call you when you wherent home and your gf pick up the phone. Had to worry about them showing up at the wrong time.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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Yeah, it's not like everything was great with the marriage and then the ability to chat online suddenly caused people who were thrilled with their spouse to start cheating.
 
Oldbased

Oldbased

> Than U
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My brother used to call it Fuckbook for cheating and hell he died in 2007 so the facebook for fucks has been ongoing awhile now.
 
Julian The Apostate

Julian The Apostate

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I got a date with a super hot 21 year old black chick on Sunday. Think Tyra Banks look and skin color but not quite that hot. I'm sure we have a lot in common!
 
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