Marriage and the Power of Divorce

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,338
14,001
I'm pretty sure that since the beginning of time women have never really given a shit about the flowers themselves, but rather the fact that everyone is seeing them receive them. Nowadays it should be less of a problem in fact, because she can just take a picture and brag on facebook to make all her friends jealous.

"Look what Steve got me! He's the best husband in the whole world"
 
Gravy

Gravy

Bronze Squire
4,918
454
My 1st anniversary was so long ago, I can't even begin to remember what the fuck I got her. Probably a bottle of wine and a slap on the ass.

Next May is our 25th anniversary, and we are planning a nice vacation.
 
Gravy

Gravy

Bronze Squire
4,918
454
lindz_sl said:
Men get their wives gifts for their anniversaries? Someone needs to tell my husband this.
Click to expand...
We really have never made a big deal of anniversaries (except for the 20th) or birthdays. Does he get you a card? I've forgotten that a few times, too.
 
Nester

Nester

Vyemm Raider
4,978
3,183
lindz_sl said:
Men get their wives gifts for their anniversaries? Someone needs to tell my husband this.
Click to expand...
Nope, My wife and I get a card for each other (she may get flowers, MAY) but we try and get something for the house (that we probably would have gotten anyway) and call that the gift to each other.

Last year we both got Garden doors on to our patio and got rid of our 20 year old sliding door!
 
BrotherWu

BrotherWu

MAGA
<Silver Donator>
3,259
6,502
I fucking hate cards. Except from my grandmother, who always ALWAYS writes a long note in every card she sends. Everyone else can just fuck off, lazy unimaginative assholes.
 
chaos

chaos

Buzzfeed Editor
17,324
4,839
Cards are bullshit. My wife saves every card given to her. By "saves" of course I mean they end up in a pile of paperwork with no where to go because she feels too guilty to throw them out but doesn't care enough to do something meaningful with them.
 
R

Remit_sl

shitlord
521
-1
Cards are also stupid expensive for what you get. My wife and i usually pick one out in the store, hand it to each other, read it then put it back. It started as a joke in college
 
Gravy

Gravy

Bronze Squire
4,918
454
Back when we had our store, our COST for each greeting card was 17 cents. We sold them two for a buck. They weren't Hallmark, granted, but they were nice cards and printed in the U.S. Chicago specifically.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,274
15,097
I know the theme of rerolled is frugality but I usually get my wife a gift on birthdays and anniversaries. Not sure what I'll do yet.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,338
14,001
You should get her a card and a dildo. That way if she doesn't like the card she can go fuck herself.

Am I doing it right?
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
25,426
49,042
Noodleface_sl said:
I know the theme of rerolled is frugality but I usually get my wife a gift on birthdays and anniversaries. Not sure what I'll do yet.
Click to expand...
I wouldn't say the theme of rerolled is frugality, I'd say the theme is just not spoiling the woman and treating her like a princess. Of course you should get gifts on birthdays and anniversaries, if thats what you do. Its fine. Things like cards and diamonds are stupid because they have no intrinsic value and yet are very expensive to capitalize on men who feel obligated to buy them. Don't buy those things because you're obligated to. They are nothing but money sinks. Buy shit that shows some thought rather than just showing your willingness to drop coin on useless shit for her.
 
TheBeagle

TheBeagle

JunkiesNetwork Donor
8,744
30,382
Cards are now in the same league as diamonds as far as wasted expense? When was that decided?

Cards are like smilies....bitches love 'em.
 
BoldW

BoldW

Molten Core Raider
2,081
25
Cad_sl said:
I wouldn't say the theme of rerolled is frugality, I'd say the theme is just not spoiling the woman and treating her like a princess. Of course you should get gifts on birthdays and anniversaries, if thats what you do. Its fine. Things like cards and diamonds are stupid because they have no intrinsic value and yet are very expensive to capitalize on men who feel obligated to buy them. Don't buy those things because you're obligated to. They are nothing but money sinks. Buy shit that shows some thought rather than just showing your willingness to drop coin on useless shit for her.
Click to expand...
I'd say money-sinks are one thing, but tokens that show you care are great. If I've put in the effort, regardless of cost (Hell, draw a funny stick-figure picture-card), I've always gotten rewarded in awesome emotional and physical ways. Purchase something utilitarian, and you're generally fucked unless it's also something they actually are in to (NO ONE is into ironing and vacuuming). Buying expensive shit is usually a waste, unless your girl's a gold-digger. If they care about you and your combined lives, they're super-happy with small shit that you actually put more than 5 minutes into and show you care about them. Pretty simple.

With my first wife one of the coolest things we'd do is just leave notes around the house for each other to find. If I'd put more than two down in a day, sex would be an adventure that night.
 
Cad

Cad

scientia potentia est
<Bronze Donator>
25,426
49,042
BoldW_sl said:
I'd say money-sinks are one thing, but tokens that show you care are great. If I've put in the effort, regardless of cost (Hell, draw a funny stick-figure picture-card), I've always gotten rewarded in awesome emotional and physical ways. Purchase something utilitarian, and you're generally fucked unless it's also something they actually are in to (NO ONE is into ironing and vacuuming). Buying expensive shit is usually a waste, unless your girl's a gold-digger. If they care about you and your combined lives, they're super-happy with small shit that you actually put more than 5 minutes into and show you care about them. Pretty simple.

With my first wife one of the coolest things we'd do is just leave notes around the house for each other to find. If I'd put more than two down in a day, sex would be an adventure that night.
Click to expand...
That does sound sweet and shows thought. Cad Approved!
 
K

Kedwyn

Silver Squire
3,915
80
We don't do cards and gifts. We just don't treat each other like shit and actually show we love each other all year long.

We MIGHT go out for dinner or count a trip we would take anyway as our "gift" and we always bring our child as well. Celebrating our love and togetherness is all well and good but reality is us being together is just as or even more important for our daughter so she might as well come with us and celebrate.
 
D

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
I hate scheduled gift giving. It's worse than aids. Oh I'm giving this to you because I'm so thoughtfu--oh wait it's because someone told me to. Some people like it, and I understand that, but it's one of the worse things in human relationships to me. I'm slowly easing my family into the reality of me not giving gifts for bdays anymore. In my mind, you should give gifts when you see something spontaneous that they'd like. Of course I say that and never do that either, so I'm probably just a selfish jerk
 
A

a_skeleton_03

<Banned>
29,948
29,763
We don't do a lot of those holidays because we don't like the forced part of it.

Valentines Day
Fathers Day
Mothers Day

We pass on all those. We do something for our anniversary or around that time that is usually interesting but no gifts or cards. For birthdays we generally just do something for those as well and then claim some recent purchase we wanted to be labelled our 'gift'. I always ask for the "Triple Threat" and never get it but a man can dream.

*Triple Threat = Sex in each hole at different times that night. I don't think a man married over 10 years has ever achieved it (sarcasm).
 
Larnix

Larnix

Blackwing Lair Raider
570
2,647
I just make my own gift cards for my wife. Offer to do sweet stuff like: taxi for all the ladies on girls night, clean something in the house, take the kid away for awhile no questions asked, etc. Its super easy.

-online template
-fill in some cute & funny shit
-laminate that shit so its looks official
-don't forget an expiration date so she cant bring it up years down the road..
 
You must log in or register to reply here.