Marriage and the Power of Divorce

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,738
52,288
Crone_sl said:
As said, I have a lot of fun surprising my wife with gifts on her birthday and Christmas. Her birthday was yesterday, and I went all out.

She's never seen the musical wicked in person, and being that she's 7 months pregnant, I wasn't sure when she would want to go. We have family in Phoenix, Vegas, and Portland, so I printed off their schedule and laminated it, tied it to a wicked printed coffee cup, and inside the cup I put 2 "tickets" that I went to kinko's to have printed up. It's the wicked logo, with "Pick the Date!" over the top, printed on card stock to the dimensions of a concert ticket.

Then the biggest surprise is I flew 2 of her sisters out from Portland that she hasn't seen in a really long time. Surprised her with it last night, with a line about I couldn't find a sugar free cake that looked any good so I decided to bring some chefs over instead, and her sisters then walked in. I got the whole thing on video, where she screamed, dropped an F bomb, and started crying happy tears.
smile.png


I'm best husband ever for at least a day or 2, until I refuse to get her the damn froyo again....
Click to expand...
It's hilarious that you come up with this incredibly over the top gesture for her birthday but you basically tell your wife fuck off when she wants you to pick up frozen yogurt on the way home from work.
 
Adebisi

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
<Silver Donator>
27,713
32,825
I'm of the Tuco philosophy of gift giving: if it's under 20 bucks, bitch be in luck(s).
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
<Silver Donator>
14,671
2,529
Noodleface_sl said:
I think we're done in 30 minutes now.
Click to expand...
Well thank god you don't have to waste precious time with your family opening gifts anymore. Leaves more time for....masturbation? I never get people who can't be bothered to do anything for holidays. The fact that you do a bunch of work and spend money is what makes it special. I mean the easiest thing to do would be for everyone to stay home and play their xbox all day, but is that an improvement?
 
Xarpolis

Xarpolis

Life's a Dream
14,645
16,330
My family used to do this all day Christmas gala. We would show up at like 10 in the morning and wouldn't leave until 8 or 9 at night. It was a lot of fun.

When my grandfather died, a lot of that changed. There was a huge rift in the family. Some people broke off. The ones that stayed didn't want anything like that. I still hope for the days of the past, so I plan on doing something similar once my own family has aged a bit more. Maybe invite some friends into the mix. I just wish for the days of the past.

The grandfather in question has been dead for 10 years today. I went to his grave after work to pay my respects. I miss the guy. Maybe it was cash, but he really held the family together. No one else has been able to do it since.
 
A

a_skeleton_03

<Banned>
29,948
29,763
BrutulTM_sl said:
Well thank god you don't have to waste precious time with your family opening gifts anymore. Leaves more time for....masturbation? I never get people who can't be bothered to do anything for holidays. The fact that you do a bunch of work and spend money is what makes it special. I mean the easiest thing to do would be for everyone to stay home and play their xbox all day, but is that an improvement?
Click to expand...
Umm maybe because some of us don't sit around and play xbox on Christmas day. We do group fun things with family. We go to ski resorts. Things like that.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,274
15,097
Dude I spend my entire Christmas Day visiting family. I have my mothers house, my fathers house, her parents, and her grandparents house. We typically spend Christmas Day traveling between each and are out 10AM until 10PM. Some Christmases we haven't even opened each others gifts until after midnight. I don't have time to spend 8 hours opening gifts at one house.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,236
15,625
Xarpolis_sl said:
The grandfather in question has been dead for 10 years today. I went to his grave after work to pay my respects. I miss the guy. Maybe it was cash, but he really held the family together. No one else has been able to do it since.
Click to expand...
We don't need the patriarchy anymore. Check your male privilege.

Dudes who are paying for first online dates are suckers, the girls obviously just as if not more desperate than you are since she's on there too.
Click to expand...
This. Women that have to use online dating to score some dick are desperate as hell, crazy as shit, socially awkward, or hideous.
 
Phazael

Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
14,664
31,522
I get sucked into a lot more visits to inlaws than I desire, but its backed off some as my wife has slowly realized how unfair it is when my parents are back in the Midwest and I see them maybe once a year. The fact that her parents are uber crispy and mine are retired party hippies sort of skews the argument in my favor. Lets see honey, do we go spend a weekend hearing how awesome Jesus is and not doing anything fun or do we go close out the bar and play cards against humanity with me folks? I used to curb all of my behavior around her parents, but now I just avoid profanity. Like fuck if I am going to sit with those boring fuckers a whole Sunday and NOT have a cocktail, especially in my own fucking house. They put up with me because I make my wife happy and whenever they need someone to be an asshole they can always call on me to step up.

The situation a_skeleton_03 described is what doing shit with my parents is generally like (though their teatard derp is depressing lately), but if ones inlaws/family are boring and/or psychotic, as Noodles appear to be, then I would just skip holidays. The more you isolate your wife from the crazy the better chance that your future Noodlespawn don't pick up on any of the inlaws dipshit behavior. The wife might bitch and moan, but one quiet holiday away from the bullshit will sell it. The first time I hauled my wife to Catalina to get away from the inlaw's shitty cooking and actually relax for a thanksgiving was the last time we spent it anywhere else.

Family expecting shit just because they are family is bullshit, anyhow. Relatives have to work to earn friendship and respect as much as anyone else, in my book. If a relative is an asshat I have just stopped showing up to family events where they are due to be present. Most of the time, if given a choice of two relatives to show, they will pick the non-asshole one unless they are assholes, themselves. You chose your wife and should spend time with her. Inlaws (hers or yours) should have to be worth the time you spend with them. Life is too short, as it is.
 
Phazael

Phazael

Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
14,664
31,522
Kirun_sl said:
This. Women that have to use online dating to score some dick are desperate as hell, crazy as shit, socially awkward, or hideous.
Click to expand...
I'll take E) All the above, for 500 Alex. Even as a fat ass, I could still bang passable bar fodder when I felt the need that was far and a way better than the ocean of despair that pervades the female online dating pool. That said, times change and online social media has sort of become the new bar and park pickup zone for a lot of people. And to be fair, my wife and I met online, but that's because I was we knew each other for years in EQ first, not from actively trolling for a lay online.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,274
15,097
I've never done online dating but my brother-in-law just broke up with his girlfriend he found on match.com. After a year she wanted to buy a house with him, he told her he was definitely not ready and she broke it off on the spot.

Bullet dodged.
 
opiate82

opiate82

Bronze Squire
3,078
5
This is my situation with holidays. I actually love my inlaws. Get along with them great. My wife does have divorced parents so it is two separate families, but I have no issues spending time with either of them. My parents, well they are the parents that all my friends wish they had and when they throw a party pretty much all my friends love attending. They don't feel obligated, If I wasn't there my friends would probably show up anyways. My parents were parents to me as a kid/adolescent, but they are peers/friends to me now. My point is I have no problems hanging out with any of my family, in-law or not.

With that said, I have grown to absolutely hate the holidays because of family obligations to the point where I was discussing with my wife just traveling during the holidays to escape the family obligations. First off they fight over who gets the "prime time" (for example, Christmas morning or Thanksgiving dinner) and we end up so stretched thin running back and forth trying to see everybody that I can't possibly enjoy the experience myself.

Now that we have a kid on the way I have decided that we are just going to stay home and anyone who wants to see us or the kid is welcome to come over any time. But having a kid makes it "just too difficult to run around trying to see everyone during the holidays anymore."
 
Aaron

Aaron

Goonsquad Officer
<Bronze Donator>
8,735
20,474
In my family we mostly find out what the other person wants/needs and by that for them for Christmas and birthdays. That way they always get a present that they actually need, instead of wasting money on something they'll put in a drawer and never look at again. Works well for us, though it does eliminate the "surprise" factor.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,274
15,097
opiate82_sl said:
With that said, I have grown to absolutely hate the holidays because of family obligations to the point where I was discussing with my wife just traveling during the holidays to escape the family obligations. First off they fight over who gets the "prime time" (for example, Christmas morning or Thanksgiving dinner) and we end up so stretched thin running back and forth trying to see everybody that I can't possibly enjoy the experience myself.
Click to expand...
This is the one major part I hate. I'll ask each household what time they are doing stuff so we can plan our travel and everyone inevitably says "1:00PM." Ok... so 4 houses, roughly in a circle of radius 100 miles, all meeting at the same time.

I end up not enjoying holidays because we're running around so much. We decided this year we're only going to our parents houses.
 
Namon

Namon

Blackwing Lair Raider
1,976
2,565
Exactly. Holidays suck for me as well. My wife is from a divorced family, with her grandparents still alive/in her life so I went from having one stop my whole life to having 50. It's been 8 years and I'm still not adjusted. And the problem I have with this whole charade, is the jumping around stresses her out to the point that the day is miserable anyway, and it is worse with two kids. Eventually sanity will win over, and we will just do them at home, or at least that's what I tell myself each year.
 
T

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
14,163
607
Yeah holidays do in fact suck. It makes it even more complicated when you're dealing with so many families. Like we've had our set date for Easter for years because I'm basically the youngest in my family and last to get married. But that doesn't always work out for the pre-existing dates on the other side of the family. So it always becomes a headache and fighting for who gets the "real" holiday date. Anymore my side of the family has basically just said fuck it and we celebrate Christmas a good three weeks before actual Dec 25th just to avoid all hassle.
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
16,741
7,767
Tenks_sl said:
Yeah holidays do in fact suck. It makes it even more complicated when you're dealing with so many families. Like we've had our set date for Easter for years because I'm basically the youngest in my family and last to get married. But that doesn't always work out for the pre-existing dates on the other side of the family. So it always becomes a headache and fighting for who gets the "real" holiday date. Anymore my side of the family has basically just said fuck it and we celebrate Christmas a good three weeks before actual Dec 25th just to avoid all hassle.
Click to expand...
Saint Nicholas Day - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
 
A

a_skeleton_03

<Banned>
29,948
29,763
Eventually you have to make that leap from going to other peoples houses for holidays and instead staying at home with your family. Has a ton to do with the age of your kids. If you are just a married couple good luck selling that though.

Our kids are 13 and we will entertain requests for our presence but make no promises and more often than not we stick to a three year cycle. One year visiting her side, one on my aide, and then a break where people could come to our place. Luckily the two families don't quite get along so both turn us down that year.

Some recent years we have done Christmas Eve with one and Christmas with the other though because it just happened to work out.
 
Tuco

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
47,388
80,836
a_skeleton_03_sl said:
Eventually you have to make that leap from going to other peoples houses for holidays and instead staying at home with your family. Has a ton to do with the age of your kids. If you are just a married couple good luck selling that though.

Our kids are 13 and we will entertain requests for our presence but make no promises and more often than not we stick to a three year cycle. One year visiting her side, one on my aide, and then a break where people could come to our place. Luckily the two families don't quite get along so both turn us down that year.

Some recent years we have done Christmas Eve with one and Christmas with the other though because it just happened to work out.
Click to expand...
This is a good way to go if you can pull it off. It all depends on the families involved. My wifes' and mines' extended families are all out of state, but our close families don't really care when the Christmas / thanksgiving / birthday events happen, so we can be literally weeks from the actual dates and celebrate it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.