Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Onoes_sl said:

I did talk to her last night on the phone for a bit and I asked "So, I'm really curious about your no sex stance. I mean, I'm fine with it, I had a good time, I'm just curious why it exists. I got the impression you very much wanted to, so why not?" And she explained that she's only ever been with 4 guys, and they were all pretty serious realationships, she's never had a one night stand and didn't want to. She would like to keep seeing me as much as she can (maybe once a month?) but that she knew if she slept with me and then we never spoke again she would be down on herself for a month, so its just not worth it.

Click to expand...

LOLOLOL. Suuuuuure she hasn't. "Good girls" are just bad girls who haven't been caught yet. I love how she's telling you this, meanwhile she met you on Tinder, which is basically just an app for one-night stands.

/shrug, I asked why she was on tinder and she said she told me that at her 4th of July party her brother was using it, she asked what it was, and he said a dating thing and showed her, so she installed it. That was the night I talked to her on it. She went back to Cali the next day and got bombarded with guys who were sending her "You Down to fuck tonight?" and nothing else, so she uninstalled it.

I get the feeling she's from a family with a very strong "here is the womans place" type attitude. At one point she asked me who was handing all my bills and finances now that my wife is gone, and I went "huh? I am, I've always done all the bills and everything, my wife didn't even know what bills we had, let alone to who or how much." and she was floored. Her mom has always maintained their families stuff, and she was managing both of her brothers finances before one of them got married, and she passed them all off to his new wife. She was like "You said you have sisters right? Why aren't they doing it?" And I was like "I'm totally confused, why would they?", she thought everyone operated like this, and I had to tell her that I've never seen anyone do that, and maybe that was just something in her family. She made another comment about how she liked her brothers new wife because she was really strong and independant, kept her brother in check, but still knew it was her job to maintain the house and put meals on the table, or something like that.

It was like the most sexest stuff I've ever heard, but it was all coming matter of factly out of a girls mouth, so I just smiled and nodded like it was the most natural thing in the world, haha.

She's feeding you a bunch of bullshit she thinks you want to hear. Because every man wants a bangmaid right?

She did mention she wanted to move in, clean my house, raise my children, and satisfy my every sexual want. Shit, was that a red flag?

Onoes_sl said:

/shrug, I asked why she was on tinder and she said she told me that at her 4th of July party her brother was using it, she asked what it was, and he said a dating thing and showed her, so she installed it. That was the night I talked to her on it. She went back to Cali the next day and got bombarded with guys who were sending her "You Down to fuck tonight?" and nothing else, so she uninstalled it.

I get the feeling she's from a family with a very strong "here is the womans place" type attitude. At one point she asked me who was handing all my bills and finances now that my wife is gone, and I went "huh? I am, I've always done all the bills and everything, my wife didn't even know what bills we had, let alone to who or how much." and she was floored. Her mom has always maintained their families stuff, and she was managing both of her brothers finances before one of them got married, and she passed them all off to his new wife. She was like "You said you have sisters right? Why aren't they doing it?" And I was like "I'm totally confused, why would they?", she thought everyone operated like this, and I had to tell her that I've never seen anyone do that, and maybe that was just something in her family. She made another comment about how she liked her brothers new wife because she was really strong and independant, kept her brother in check, but still knew it was her job to maintain the house and put meals on the table, or something like that.

It was like the most sexest stuff I've ever heard, but it was all coming matter of factly out of a girls mouth, so I just smiled and nodded like it was the most natural thing in the world, haha.

Click to expand...

Exactly like Khane said, she's feeding you what she thinks you want to hear. From what you've said so far (I realize we only have your side to go on), this girl loves to display her "properness". Let me guess, she's always wanted a man with a "good heart", right? She's someone conscious of how people perceive her and her reputation. Biology trumps conviction ? sexuality, for as much as we think we can, will not go unexpressed. Celibate monks, moralistic republican senators, and the " pure", virtuous girl you?ve got oneitis for all want to get off, and they'll find a way to do so.

One of the trappings of a woman a guy perceives as a "good girl" is that he'll have a tendency to pedestalize her by default. White knights are a given, but even "PUAs" are prone to want to read more into the personality of a "good girl". A cute-ish "good girl" is a recipe for oneitis, because she seems to be above seduction. "I just want a guy with a good heart" sounds so fairytale perfect and with just the right amount of naivete applied, she comes off as a girl who truly believes Disney wishes really do come true. Even to guys with game, she appears as a "diamond in the rough" amongst the bitch-shielded women that populate the new hook-up paradigm. To chumpish white knights, she's an archetype ? the innocent damsel who needs to be saved from the world before it corrupts her soul and she turns into all the other women who wont date them. Both of them are equally shocked when she spontaneously fucks an alpha tour manager.

If you haven't done so yet, I highly recommend addingThe Art of Seductionby Robert Greene to your reading list. He begins by profiling the archetypes of seducers and amongst them, we find that our "good girl" is really The Natural; a child like innocence that masks a seductive motive. You may be inclined to think of a good girl as a prude, but this is often in error. The good girl needs to be seductively cute enough to make her hypergamy work for her. Any prudishness is reserved for putting a suitor into stasis long enough to evaluate better options, or in the case of your girl, the option to capitalize on an immediate Alpha experience.

The good girl's game is built around playing to the "quality woman" mythos that men harbor. They want to believe she exists amongst a sea of vapid, self-absorbed sluts, looking to cash in before they hit the wall. She's not the prudish Madonna and she's not the Whore of Babylon, she's the cute "good girl" somewhere in between. She's typically only a 7-8, not the vaunted 9+, so she also emanates a tantalizing potential of attainability. All of this makes for a very idealized, very cemented form of oneitis.

Just like all men have some form of game, women have their own game.

Onoes_sl said:

I get the feeling she's from a family with a very strong "here is the womans place" type attitude. At one point she asked me who was handing all my bills and finances now that my wife is gone, and I went "huh? I am, I've always done all the bills and everything, my wife didn't even know what bills we had, let alone to who or how much." and she was floored. Her mom has always maintained their families stuff, and she was managing both of her brothers finances before one of them got married, and she passed them all off to his new wife. She was like "You said you have sisters right? Why aren't they doing it?" And I was like "I'm totally confused, why would they?", she thought everyone operated like this, and I had to tell her that I've never seen anyone do that, and maybe that was just something in her family. She made another comment about how she liked her brothers new wife because she was really strong and independant, kept her brother in check, but still knew it was her job to maintain the house and put meals on the table, or something like that.

Click to expand...

She's black right? Don't they tend to just send the men to break their backs at work for 60 years straight until death while momma handles everything back home and has a big plate of artery clogging food on the table for the "breadwinner" when he comes home from the salt mines. Also, she seems like she's fishing for info on your status/situation. I'd guess she's looking to lock down a husband, especially given this family history, and she wants to know if you are coming correct with the providership. That stuff was all an indirect way of gauging how much of a paycheck earner and family oriented man she can expect you to be.

Julian's got the African queen. Not onoes.

Ah shit, my bad. Where the fuck is Julian's update, he must be banging her brains out all weekend.

Still, she's ready to lock a dude down behind the white pickets. Talk of family/finances is a clear indicator to me that those are her goals. And yeah don't buy all that four partners nonsense. That probably means at least ten guys that she was or would have been relationship status with and possibly another five to ten who were just blowies/handies and/or "lol didn't count".

Kirun_sl said:

Exactly like Khane said, she's feeding you what she thinks you want to hear. From what you've said so far (I realize we only have your side to go on), this girl loves to display her "properness". Let me guess, she's always wanted a man with a "good heart", right? She's someone conscious of how people perceive her and her reputation. Biology trumps conviction ? sexuality, for as much as we think we can, will not go unexpressed. Celibate monks, moralistic republican senators, and the " pure", virtuous girl you?ve got oneitis for all want to get off, and they'll find a way to do so.

One of the trappings of a woman a guy perceives as a "good girl" is that he'll have a tendency to pedestalize her by default. White knights are a given, but even "PUAs" are prone to want to read more into the personality of a "good girl". A cute-ish "good girl" is a recipe for oneitis, because she seems to be above seduction. "I just want a guy with a good heart" sounds so fairytale perfect and with just the right amount of naivete applied, she comes off as a girl who truly believes Disney wishes really do come true. Even to guys with game, she appears as a "diamond in the rough" amongst the bitch-shielded women that populate the new hook-up paradigm. To chumpish white knights, she's an archetype ? the innocent damsel who needs to be saved from the world before it corrupts her soul and she turns into all the other women who wont date them. Both of them are equally shocked when she spontaneously fucks an alpha tour manager.

If you haven't done so yet, I highly recommend addingThe Art of Seductionby Robert Greene to your reading list. He begins by profiling the archetypes of seducers and amongst them, we find that our "good girl" is really The Natural; a child like innocence that masks a seductive motive. You may be inclined to think of a good girl as a prude, but this is often in error. The good girl needs to be seductively cute enough to make her hypergamy work for her. Any prudishness is reserved for putting a suitor into stasis long enough to evaluate better options, or in the case of your girl, the option to capitalize on an immediate Alpha experience.

The good girl's game is built around playing to the "quality woman" mythos that men harbor. They want to believe she exists amongst a sea of vapid, self-absorbed sluts, looking to cash in before they hit the wall. She's not the prudish Madonna and she's not the Whore of Babylon, she's the cute "good girl" somewhere in between. She's typically only a 7-8, not the vaunted 9+, so she also emanates a tantalizing potential of attainability. All of this makes for a very idealized, very cemented form of oneitis.

Just like all men have some form of game, women have their own game.

Click to expand...

Oh man, Kirun's lunacy is unmatched. Hey guys, I read this book and these special forums - it must be true!

Just because mystery and other pua fag "masters" can get laid really well from bar sluts (and it's really that 1% who are exceptional - everyone else is full of shit and playing nothing but the numbers game), has nothing to do with adult romantic interactions. But, you say, these techniques apply universally. Yea, just like I will stare at the bar slut in a cocktail dress and my mind will run wild, pua techniques may work on intelligent women too. But guess what, i can override that stimulus easily when I consider actually spending more than 15 minutes with this bar slut who is guaranteed to be a horrible person to interact with. So too can women when they realize he's a bar star with artificial access to the evolutionary buttons but no real substance.

Sir Mystery may have even got laid in onoes' position, but are we 18 year olds here? Is onoes on a "get laid at all cost" mission? Pua shit may get a guy laid, but it also strips the relationship of the possibility of having any meaning or real substance whatsoever.

I'm a huge advocate of reading pua stuff to better understand how to attract women. I also think Atlas Shrugged is a fantastic book to make people realize they don't owe anyone by definition and to follow their own moral compass rather than society's. The problem arises when people adjust their life philosophy to match what really is a helpful tool and an intellectual exercise. It's like the psychologists who still follow Freud. He was brilliant and revolutionary and change the field forever, but he's fucking wrong.

It's simply wrong, no matter how much you want to distil all of human kind down to these few reductionistic concepts.

Edit: for another illustration, in my early 20s I was led on by my share of women, before I knew better and like any guy has. I'd shower a bar star I worked with with attention, maybe even bought a few drinks for girls who were just fishing, even if I was mostly good about not doing that. I also paid for a few dinners that led to nothing and have been the emotional pillow for a few BPD girls until she found a renegade biker to fuck. I've fallen for those female games. So by the pua definition, those girls "succeeded." They got what their "hypergamy" desires wanted. Just like the pua dudes "succeed" by getting laid. But guess what the "success" gets these girls in the end? Well if they're lucky they lock down a rich guy and become a resentful housewife whose life has no meaning (not because they're a housewife, but because they took the easy road in life). That's the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is they are named Lori.

Dudes are the same. You think these dudes grow up and think wow, what a fulfilling life?

When human interactions are distilled down to be economic transactions, essentially, that's just really fucking sad. You can evolution-argue all you want, but people who actually understand evolutionary psychology realize (1)no one is even close to understanding evolutionary psychology and (2)the picture, as always, is 1000x more complex than these forum warriors believe.

Inb4 onoes is in love. Too late?

Dabamf_sl said:

Reductionism doesn't work.

Click to expand...

But it does work here. Game is far beyond the simplistic Mystery PUA stuff. That's gradeschool level junk - it's gone far beyond that. Reading Roissy or Rollo will absolutely give you a better insight into female sexuality. Is it the complete picture? No, nothing is ever complete, but it's much closer to the countless lies fed to everyone about sexuality and relationships by society.

Human beings are not that complex. We have rationality, but we don't use it that often, especially regarding love, sex, and relationships. We can arrive at a working model of human sexuality and the underlying psychosocial interrelationships. It is comprehensible.


They are economic transactions, and yes it's very fucking sad. Welcome to the red pill, my friend.

Tuco_sl said:

Blue balls are natures way of pushing a man over the edge into rape territory. What tucks with my mind is how celibate priests who don't masturbate handle having blue balls for their entire life.

Click to expand...

I have a colleague who is a devout, traditional Roman Catholic. Makes good money but is celibate, lives in poverty on purpose (real poverty, basement apt with no kitchen, cracked glasses, etc), no car. Gives all his money to his local church, which is very small due to the nature of his sect of faith.

I loathe religion, but I've never met someone that I respect more yet in my life. He is the exemplary human being, espousing nothing but virtue and goodness. (And is also very intelligent, BS's in zoology and ee, masters in ee). If faith can do that to a person (even if it's illusory), then more people need to be religious.

No woman or wife in his life, and he's the best man I've ever seen.

Dumar_sl said:

I have a colleague who is a devout, traditional Roman Catholic. Makes good money but is celibate, lives in poverty on purpose (real poverty, basement apt with no kitchen, cracked glasses, etc), no car. Gives all his money to his local church, which is very small due to the nature of his sect of faith.

I loathe religion, but I've never met someone that I respect more yet in my life. He is the exemplary human being, espousing nothing but virtue and goodness. (And is also very intelligent, BS's in zoology and ee, masters in ee). If faith can do that to a person (even if it's illusory), then more people need to be religious.

No woman or wife in his life, and he's the best man I've ever seen.

Click to expand...

That's just a man who doesn't trust himself living a normal life and probably also likes to use it as a passive aggressive form of feeling superior.

"I could fix this broken glass, but then I'd just be one of the sheeple". Get outta this thread with that shit. We talk about psychotic nurses who give great head and getting peed on in this thread

BrutulTM_sl said:

It's just one of the many lies that dudes tell to girls to try to convince them to give it up. It's just been around so long that people think it's an actual thing now.

Click to expand...

It does exist, but I've only encountered it a few times in my life. It's when I was like 14-16.

Blueballs happens when you ALMOST ejaculate but right at the last minute something prevents it. So you've got this situation going on down in your nuts where there's this uncomfortable pressure and this strange muscle soreness.

It's basically accidental edging, I think. Cause one time I gave myself blue balls jerking off. In fact... I'm pretty sure that every time I've experienced blue balls it's come from jerking it.

Ladies we apologize. You have been unfairly persecuted lo these many years.

Edit: And while I do think Kurin takes it too far, that doesn't mean that he's void whenever he's still in the still not too far zone. She might be legit, but the way you're talking about her I'm getting a real strongcatholicmormon girl vibe. Which is probably fine, we all have our masks... but when a woman tells you that you can sleep together but no sex (it's the first date! What kind of girl do you think I am!) then you need to be aware of certain things. Specifically, there's going to be some real cognitive dissonance in your life if you proceed forward. And if it's only sex-based... well, shit, that kind can be fun.

Trust me, he's literally the most perfect person I've ever met. He's never passive aggressive: always very humble, kind, and thoughtful. It's literally the most perplexing thing I've ever seen.

And yes, when I tell people about him, they automatically insert ideas of mental illness, instability, inner anger, etc and etc. It's society that's sick, not him - I hope he never adjusts, never changes. The only thing I would maybe attribute to him is that he's socially awkward since he's so smart, so possibly a mild asbergers. This guy knows everything about every saint and Christian event/person in history, along with extensive knowledge of health and e.engineering. Also a strict vegetarian and hyper-health nut: as in eating hummus and peanut butter / rice only. No sugar whatsoever. His discipline in all aspects of life is truly a spectacle to behold.

And he'll never have kids. But the renegade biker, fratbro, and penniless, drug-addled band fag all will likely shit out multiple kids to single moms.

Weep for humanity. Weep.

Iannis_sl said:

It does exist, but I've only encountered it a few times in my life. It's when I was like 14-16.

Blueballs happens when you ALMOST ejaculate but right at the last minute something prevents it. So you've got this situation going on down in your nuts where there's this uncomfortable pressure and this strange muscle soreness.

It's basically accidental edging, I think. Cause one time I gave myself blue balls jerking off. In fact... I'm pretty sure that every time I've experienced blue balls it's come from jerking it.

Ladies we apologize. You have been unfairly persecuted lo these many years.

Click to expand...

Edging shouldn't give you blue balls. Edging utilizes the squeeze technique. I'm pretty sure blue balls are a result of over-active pelvic floor muscles. Essentially you're doing male kegels without even knowing it when you get really excited and if you clench and release those muscles too often they get strained, resulting in "blue balls".

In other words gentleman, it's not the woman giving you blue balls. It's your own lack of knowledge about what's going on with your penis.

Or you can just learn how to not strain the muscle I was talking about. It has nothing to do with not being "finished". Masturbating won't solve the problem. You can still get "blue balls" even if you cum.