Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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The two of you waiting until marriage was very much a matter of sexual marketplace speculation. If you had passed on each other assuming the market would bear a similarly minded individual at a later date but with greater benefits in additional areas, that would have constituted enormous risk, would it not?
The thing is, most of us aren't looking for someone who's waiting for marriageat all, as you well know. So in effect its easy for you to say since you had a much more focused search window than the rest of us who may literally have the entire world on option. Obviously by the time one is seriously looking he should have a sort of checklist to narrow it down, but if one of your qualifiers is "christian waiting for marriage" it narrows the field substantially.
Foggy
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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No idea how a marriage can work when you are married through your entire twenties. At 29, I am completely different from my 19 year old self in almost every way. I speak differently, different hobbies, different needs, wants, and desires, etc... I certainly fuck differently and like different things in bed. My 19 year old self had no idea what I really wanted. If I married a broad at 19, I would definitely not be interested in her now.
Gratz on making it work but you are the exception.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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It depends more on whether the two of you grow together or grow apart. Nearly everyone changes during those ages and it's very possibly you'll grow apart, especially if you didn't have a strong bond to begin with. But it's cynical to think your partner can't develop with you.
EDIT: looks like Agraza beat me to it.
lindz
#DDs
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You are forgetting that she grows right along with you. In a good marriage, you do that growing together. Husband and I explore things in bed now that I would have never enjoyed at 19 (or maybe I just didn't know then). We've opened up a ton sexually together. Obviously your 29 year old self isn't going to be interested in the same person you were interested in at 19, I mean jeez, you'd probably even find yourself obnoxious at 19.
I don't think a_skeleton_03's experience is the exception. It is perfectly reasonable for people that love each other and have a strong bond with one another would grow together in their marriage and not apart. This is my experience as well and both my parents and his parents were married young and are still happily married. It happens, really.
iannis
Musty Nester
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You have to remember that this board is generally populated by people who are dead inside and antisocial depressives. Even moreso than the internet in general. This is not really even a putdown, coming as it does from an antisocial depressive who is dead inside. If -we- were the norm rather than the exception, then the entire world would accidentally.
Married at 20, pop out a few kids, remain together for better or worse, mindfully better... this is not of itself exceptional. God damn the bar is low.
Married at 20, pop out a few kids, remain together for better or worse, mindfully better... this is not of itself exceptional. God damn the bar is low.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Even disregarding the sexual and romantic trade-offs by doing this what about career, friendship and individuality trade-offs? I am fairly certain I wouldn't be in the position in life I am now had I gotten married at 19. Actually I'm 100% certain since I just up and moved at 24 to follow a career opportunity that ended up launching me well ahead of the curve.
Izo
Tranny Chaser
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Himeo
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Larnix
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Marry up and tell that bitch she is stuck with you for life!
But in all seriousness my wife and I started out as FWB in a fishbowl of a community and actually went home together the first time we met at the bar! We would be at all the same spots, shared many of the same friends but totally ignored each other until one or both of us were drunk. We would call in sick just to drink and fuck all day, we both even got in some trouble with work because of it. She was 23 and I was 25 with me having a higher paying job but she was offered a great job in Europe which had zero opportunity for me to further my career. We said fuck it lets try it, she accepted the job on a Wednesday we got married that Saturday; for the financial benefits her job offered us if we were married.
Next month will 7 years we have been married and 9 years together. We are both totally different people then when started "dating", have grown together so far from that time that many people don't believe the story when we tell them. We are just found found out that our 2nd child is on the way and i couldn't imagine trying to be single again.
Of course it has not been all puppies and sunshine but life is better with her than without her. The key in my opinion is open, honest communication and hard work. This red pill bullshit is a joke for people who don't understand that relationship is really a mutual contract between two people which should benefit both parties.
However, I could be full of shit but I do know that if my wife ever leaves me I am totally going to win some spousal support.
But in all seriousness my wife and I started out as FWB in a fishbowl of a community and actually went home together the first time we met at the bar! We would be at all the same spots, shared many of the same friends but totally ignored each other until one or both of us were drunk. We would call in sick just to drink and fuck all day, we both even got in some trouble with work because of it. She was 23 and I was 25 with me having a higher paying job but she was offered a great job in Europe which had zero opportunity for me to further my career. We said fuck it lets try it, she accepted the job on a Wednesday we got married that Saturday; for the financial benefits her job offered us if we were married.
Next month will 7 years we have been married and 9 years together. We are both totally different people then when started "dating", have grown together so far from that time that many people don't believe the story when we tell them. We are just found found out that our 2nd child is on the way and i couldn't imagine trying to be single again.
Of course it has not been all puppies and sunshine but life is better with her than without her. The key in my opinion is open, honest communication and hard work. This red pill bullshit is a joke for people who don't understand that relationship is really a mutual contract between two people which should benefit both parties.
However, I could be full of shit but I do know that if my wife ever leaves me I am totally going to win some spousal support.
Foggy
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Even people who aren't rich should really get prenups.
Also, to all the people that posted it, no fucking shit your spouse is going to change as a person too. 19 is so insanely young though, it is largely unpredictable how you are going to change. At least in your mid-20s you are kinda set on a path. You might deviate over time but you can at least see where people are headed. Also, considering the divorce stats, anybody who is married late teens early 20s and stays together is definitely the exception.
Marriage and divorce: patterns by gender, race, and educational attainment : Monthly Labor Review : U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics
58.4% of marriages between people of the ages 15 to 22 divorce.