Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Zzen

Zzen

Potato del Grande
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I was out running around and didn't have time to think, so I just said "sure, np" this morning. Got home for lunch and thought about it, wondering if it was a bad sign and I should have just passed. Probably just reading too much of the RP trololings around here.

I'm about to leave to meet her. Always appreciate the honest advice rr bros.
 
A

a_skeleton_03

<Banned>
29,948
29,763
When did this turn into Dear Penthouse with the married folk just masturbating to the porn that all these single guys are producing?
 
Tuco

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
47,459
81,098
Bob Book_sl said:
I was out running around and didn't have time to think, so I just said "sure, np" this morning. Got home for lunch and thought about it, wondering if it was a bad sign and I should have just passed. Probably just reading too much of the RP trololings around here.

I'm about to leave to meet her. Always appreciate the honest advice rr bros.
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What you did is fine. If she keeps rescheduling then she might be testing you, but there's no need to play games from something that's probably what she says it is.
 
Zzen

Zzen

Potato del Grande
2,887
3,590
Tuco_sl said:
What you did is fine. If she keeps rescheduling then she might be testing you, but there's no need to play games from something that's probably what she says it is.
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Monica. Really glad I went instead of overthinking it. I haven't gone on the a date since the start of the spring semester, so there is definitely some rust to knock off.

TL,DR: I had my heart eviscerated last year and instead of going full beta I just decided to use grad school as an opportunity to better myself. Been working with a trainer all year (thin guy trying to bulk up) and feel like I'm in a good spot overall. I banged out almost the entire remainder of my program in the first part of the year, and have just one class left in the fall. Now I'm using the free time to find a job making bank and trying to pee in at least one girl's butt before I graduate.

Girl was incredibly sexy. Way better looking than online. Natural beauty, little to no make-up. Great ass. There was some awkwardness afterwards when we grabbed coffee in that it was the first time either of us had meet someone from online, but I still enjoyed myself. She is Venezuelan (been in the US a decade), pretty impressive education (grad school at GWU) and job. Not sure if it will go anywhere, but I'm at least interested enough to call in a few days and see if she is up for a more traditional date like dinner and a movie. At the very least it was a confidence booster and an eye-opening experience as to the types of women you can find online in the city. I have been a suburbanite fo' life but have been edging my way into the city during grad school. Way different world down there.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,346
14,012
Blazin_sl said:
Can you come bang my wife while I take notes? I have been having sex with this girl for 20 years now and I just don't see how what you are saying would play out. Obviously everyone is different but as I have never banged another chick it could be that I just happen to be having sex with someone that is very hard to get off. Just seems like you are the one exaggerating about time.
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Well I wasn't trying to say you're bad in bed or anything. Some women really do just take forever to get off, and I said those women drive me nuts. I would hate having sex with a woman who takes at least 20 minutes to orgasm. What I was saying was more for the other two guys who are pretending they absolutely have to have a 30-60 minute session just because they like to pet for a half an hour. I mean give me a break. Just get her wet and fuck her.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,346
14,012
Bob Book_sl said:
Monica. Really glad I went instead of overthinking it. I haven't gone on the a date since the start of the spring semester, so there is definitely some rust to knock off.

TL,DR: I had my heart eviscerated last year and instead of going full beta I just decided to use grad school as an opportunity to better myself. Been working with a trainer all year (thin guy trying to bulk up) and feel like I'm in a good spot overall. I banged out almost the entire remainder of my program in the first part of the year, and have just one class left in the fall. Now I'm using the free time to find a job making bank and trying to pee in at least one girl's butt before I graduate.

Girl was incredibly sexy. Way better looking than online. Natural beauty, little to no make-up. Great ass. There was some awkwardness afterwards when we grabbed coffee in that it was the first time either of us had meet someone from online, but I still enjoyed myself. She is Venezuelan (been in the US a decade), pretty impressive education (grad school at GWU) and job. Not sure if it will go anywhere, but I'm at least interested enough to call in a few days and see if she is up for a more traditional date like dinner and a movie. At the very least it was a confidence booster and an eye-opening experience as to the types of women you can find online in the city. I have been a suburbanite fo' life but have been edging my way into the city during grad school. Way different world down there.
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Don't do a movie on the second date. Save that for 3rd or later, and do a movie at your place or hers. That way it can lead to petting and making out and most likely sex. Movies at a theater are just two strangers sitting next to each other not talking, not a good early on date. I personally don't think you should do dinner either. I'd just get a drink and play pool or darts or something like that. An activity you can talk about and be playful with but still conversating and getting to know each other.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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lindz_sl said:
We typically had sex 7-10 times a week, but it has slowed down this summer. He has been really stressed and unhappy with work. He's writing a book and would really like to focus all his time on that but obviously still needs to work. It has left him feeling really down and in turn, his sex drive has been very low. This has been hard on me because mine is always high. I am constantly initiating and getting turned down, which leaves us both feeling like shit. He's not masturbating often, more as the occasional stress relief which I don't have a problem with that at all, just the lack of sex drive in general. We've talked about it, I told him I wasn't getting my needs met. He's been trying harder and I've been trying to nag about it less and it has been back to every day this past week. It just gets hard, in any relationship when one partner wants sex more than the other.
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I assure you, you don't. Testosterone is 12+ times higher in males and the primary driver of "horniness". Maybe things are just stale?
 
lindz

lindz

#DDs
1,201
63
Oh that's right, I forgot you know everything. You realize men and women want sex for different reasons though right?

Yes. I assure you I do. But desire for sex for me is different than it is for men. Like I've mentioned earlier sex for me has a lot to do with feeling loved and desired. I enjoy sex a great deal because it makes me feel good in those regards beyond just "dude I'm horny". Maybe you can say that isn't sex drive, because it isn't testosterone driven, but that's a big part of what my drive for sex is.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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lindz_sl said:
Like I've mentioned earlier sex for me has a lot to do with feeling loved and desired.I enjoy sex a great deal because it makes me feel good in those regards beyond just "dude I'm horny". Maybe you can say that isn't sex drive, because it isn't testosterone driven, but that's a big part of what my drive for sex is.
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Right, so you're not actually "horny", nor do you have a higher sex drive. It sounds like you're just insecure.
 
lindz

lindz

#DDs
1,201
63
You got me. I am insecure because I enjoy having sex with my husband.

God I feel sorry for your wife that you don't understand some very basic things about female sex drive. Let me help you out some. For women, sex isn'tjustabout getting off, it has a lot to do with the emotional aspect too. That is why women are sometimes known to have more difficulty having sex without attachment. Heaven forbid we derive a different sort of pleasure from sex. But hey, if it isn't the same kind of pleasure Kirun gets, it must be wrong and means women don't actually like sex at all.
 
Swagdaddy

Swagdaddy

There is a war going on over control of your mind
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I can relate to your husband lindz, when im working some insane hours or weeks from time to time I really dont feel like having sex even though my wife has a very high sex drive.

Nagging is the absolute worst thing you can do, as it's not something he can force (with any quality anyway) and then you are borderline immasculating him when he turns you down.

If it helps I found that having sex at lunch or earlier in the day helps during these stress heavy work periods, I can't really explain why but if it gets too late into the night when I'm in one of these exhaustive streaks it usually isn't going to happen.

When I'm not in one of these shitty work related funks we usually get at it twice a day.
 
iannis

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,656
Start texting him porn links. Not homemade selfies... just porn.

I don't know if it would do anything but it would be funny. And what man could possibly be pissed off by his wife texting him porn?
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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15,629
lindz_sl said:
You got me. I am insecure because I enjoy having sex with my husband.

God I feel sorry for your wife that you don't understand some very basic things about female sex drive. Let me help you out some. For women, sex isn'tjustabout getting off, it has a lot to do with the emotional aspect too. That is why women are sometimes known to have more difficulty having sex without attachment. Heaven forbid we derive a different sort of pleasure from sex. But hey, if it isn't the same kind of pleasure Kirun gets, it must be wrong and means women don't actually like sex at all.
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I never said you didn't enjoy having sex with your husband. I think your "complaint" about it is bogus, but if it isn't, it reeks of insecurity. It really doesn't seem to be a complaint at all and merely just attention whoring. "Oh, darn! My husband doesn't like to have sex 478 times a day! My sex drive is so high that I want to fuck every 5 minutes! What do you think, Rerolled nerds!? Wouldn't it be awful if you wanted to have sex every 5 mins, yet your husband didn't!? He only wants to have sex 4 times a week now instead of 7!". You're looking for a very particular response, which you'll likely get (or already have, I haven't read the next page yet), and reeks again of insecurity.

Nowhere did I state you don't "enjoy" sex. I take issue with the fact that you are supposedly "horny" for weeks at a time and want to bang 7-10 times a week on a consistent basis, when biology doesn't really support that. So, either you're exaggerating hoping to illicit a certain response, or you're attention whoring because you're insecure.
 
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