Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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you paid for a wedding? I mean $400 denim jeans are a better invest of your hard earned cash than any amount on a wedding is.
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Nester
Vyemm Raider
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Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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We've already had this debate a million times. I paid for a wedding (and I paid a lot), got enough in gifts that the cost was negligible and we were able to buy a house.
Not sure the big deal here.
I mean, it wasn't a shrek pizza party - but we had fun and everyone really enjoyed it.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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If you pay for things, she'll let you fuck her in the butt.
I was never good at rhymes.
Nester
Vyemm Raider
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Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
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People like that are annoying. If I asked my brother to pick me up cereal at the store I'd give him a $20 and tell him to buy us some beer too and whatever else he wanted.
Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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It seems like I can break down everyone I know into three main types of people when it comes to finances.
Poor people who will always be poor because they spend ever cent as soon as they get it on whatever.
People doing fairly well who will never be rich because they don't mind spending their money. (taking friends out, dropping the $20 for cereal, buying fun stuff)
People with lots of money because they nickle and dime everything.
I have friends who never have a dime, some of them have decent jobs, but it's just always gone. They are incapable of saving anything. I'm in the middle boat, my checking goes up and down, but I typical have at least a few thousand just hanging out "in case", I try not to just blow money all the time, but I'm sure I lose twenty thousand or so on non essentials every year. And lastly the rich people, opposed to ever spending any money. I went out to dinner with a family friend one time, a doctor and his wife who are multimillionaires, my parents, my ex-wife and myself, and when the check came, the doctor was doing the math on a napkin, down to the cent with taxes. I just paid the entire bill. My dad said he would cover the tip, and the doctor sat in silence. That is one of many experiences I've had with wealthy people, and while I'm obviously generalizing, and I'm sure there are rich people who are generous out there, I would assume they are the minority.
Poor people who will always be poor because they spend ever cent as soon as they get it on whatever.
People doing fairly well who will never be rich because they don't mind spending their money. (taking friends out, dropping the $20 for cereal, buying fun stuff)
People with lots of money because they nickle and dime everything.
I have friends who never have a dime, some of them have decent jobs, but it's just always gone. They are incapable of saving anything. I'm in the middle boat, my checking goes up and down, but I typical have at least a few thousand just hanging out "in case", I try not to just blow money all the time, but I'm sure I lose twenty thousand or so on non essentials every year. And lastly the rich people, opposed to ever spending any money. I went out to dinner with a family friend one time, a doctor and his wife who are multimillionaires, my parents, my ex-wife and myself, and when the check came, the doctor was doing the math on a napkin, down to the cent with taxes. I just paid the entire bill. My dad said he would cover the tip, and the doctor sat in silence. That is one of many experiences I've had with wealthy people, and while I'm obviously generalizing, and I'm sure there are rich people who are generous out there, I would assume they are the minority.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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If the more wealthy people covered everything every time they went out with folks, a> they'd never want to go out and b> they wouldn't be wealthy for that long. I'm getting into the "wealthy" category now and I don't like feeling pressured to pay for my poorer family members just because we went out together. Don't fucking go out if you can't afford it. Don't guilt me into paying for you.
Well the nickel and dimers get rich by having that attitude and eventually it is just habit. They kind of forget that the reason they wanted to save money in the first place was so they could stop worrying about it.
Me... well, in my personal life I'm a nickel and dimer, not gonna lie. For about four years I lived on 12k per year. But I'll never inconvenience other people for it, just myself. And my wife now, but that doesn't count, we share the same attitude about money.
Me... well, in my personal life I'm a nickel and dimer, not gonna lie. For about four years I lived on 12k per year. But I'll never inconvenience other people for it, just myself. And my wife now, but that doesn't count, we share the same attitude about money.
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
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I don't go out often because I'm a lazy introvert, but when I do I usually pay for my friends who aren't making a lot of money currently. I don't really think much of it, I figure they'd do the same for me.
But if I went out 3+ times a week I'd probably start to resent it.
But if I went out 3+ times a week I'd probably start to resent it.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Some can get wealthy in spite of how much they spend on other people, though. It's all a matter of scale. I make pretty good coin when the economy is rolling, I wouldn't say I'm a nickel and dimer, and I'm still socking away a lot of money. I'll pick up rounds of drinks, pay for my friends rounds when they come golf at my club, and pick up the occasional dinner tab. But it's not something I'll make a habit of, and I do keep somewhat keep track of who is free riding and who isn't. One friend couldn't afford to go to another's destination wedding in Jamaica, so I told him I'd loan him the cash for his trip so long as I had a couple pre-rolled j's waiting on my night table every morning (he's really good at rolling, I'm terrible). That was 18 months ago, and he's only managed to pay me back about 3/4's of it because he's still poor, trying to make the transition from bartending to insurance sales and establishing a client base. He'll get me back eventually. Maybe. And in any case, I've probably bummed a few hundred bucks worth of smokes off him over the years.
But sure, you can get more wealthy than you otherwise would if you watch your money closely. You aren't ever going to get rich by doing that, unless you're making a lot of money in the first place. And yeah, if you're an idiot with money, even if you're making a shit ton, you can still piss it all away quite quickly.
I just think it's stupid to say that all people who are wealthy/rich are cheap skates. That's not true in the slightest. Nor are all cheap skates wealthy/rich.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Small business owners generally rely on people thinking you're a good guy - if you show up in ferraris they think you're soaking them for every deal. It's a double standard though because for salesmen, executives, etc if you show up in an old pickup truck yadda yadda yadda they will think you're some hillbilly and won't trust you. Sales and marketing people do need a certain amount of flash to get taken seriously. Small business owners are on the other side - you want your clients/customers to think you're just barely scraping by and therefore your prices are great even if you're raping them.
My parents were small business owners and bought a 100k Mercedes once. Ruined their image so they traded it in for a soft top jeep and a panel work truck.
I am in the middle of too generous and "rich". When we go out with friends I won't pay for meals but I pick up the side things. A round here, drive my car and use my gas, or don't take money for the valet/parking. I think that is a good balance and my friends know that if I pick a nice restaurant they won't get nickel and dimed from all the side things so they enjoy themselves and don't order an appetizer to share.
I am in the middle of too generous and "rich". When we go out with friends I won't pay for meals but I pick up the side things. A round here, drive my car and use my gas, or don't take money for the valet/parking. I think that is a good balance and my friends know that if I pick a nice restaurant they won't get nickel and dimed from all the side things so they enjoy themselves and don't order an appetizer to share.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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About the golf thing Eomer mentioned... that's the one other thing I spend way too much money on. My dues are only $322/mo and there are no minimums at my club, but my bill is usually between 550 and 800/mo during golf season. But fuck it, I can afford it without living beyond my means and I really, really enjoy golf. If I were in a business other than software I'd probably make great networking connections too. Unfortunately all the guys at my club have no need for what I specialize in, which is very, very niche.
Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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See, that's kind of the mentality I'm talking about. If you are going out in the first place, we can assume you like the people you are going out with, otherwise why are you going out? So, lets assume at this point you are going out with friends. Lets then assume you do this maybe once a month? Hell, lets assume twice a month. Now, lets say you have 50k saved up, and make roughly 2k a week. Lets also assume you can be pretty sure your friends have nothing saved up, or at most a couple thousand, and you know they each make maybe $500 a week. The average dinner bill is going to be around $100.
At that point, even if you payed for every meal, every time, you would be out just over 1 weeks worth of pay per YEAR. That in no way is going to harm your finances. If you limited it to once a month, or just payed every other time, you would be out only a couple of days worth of pay per year. In return you are able to spend all of that time with good friends who might otherwise not be able to afford spending that time with you.
I say this from a position of being the most well off of anyone I know. If I invite people out, I tend to throw in "Hey, do you want to go down to the the wine bar for dinner and drinks, on me?" because I know that otherwise the answer will be no, or that they will say yes and spend money they don't really have. Now, if I don't feel like carrying people, I simply don't invite those people, or I don't go out. No one is "guilt tripping" me, I honestly feel like having good times with friends is worth a certain financial cost to me. To me its no different that buying board games, or hosting parties. No one else I know can afford it, we all enjoy it, I can afford it, so I do it. I don't have too, I like too.
I'm saying that I buy a round of drinks and am out $30 and in my head I think "Ok, $30, that's an hour of work for me, no big deal", while I have been out with a doctor who make $36,000 per two weeks (That was his take home check after taxes), who said "Well, I only had one glass, do I need to pitch in $5 or something?" about a $36 bottle of wine, of which he had drunk a 3rd (3 full glasses between 3 of us). I said "Don't worry about it, it's on me.", and secretly went "What a fucking asshole" as he's the one who invited us out in the first place.
I guess its established that I'm often too nice, and get walked on as a result. I tend to trust people, and hope that everyone would act in a way that makes other peoples lives better having encountered them. I genuinely try to make sure that people are in a better mood after having encountered me than they were before. I'm not always successful, but I think if you took a poll of people who know me, they would say something to the effect of "Mikel is the happiest person I know, he's a joy to be around". Money is just another means of accomplishing that to me. I get annoyed when people have more than they could ever use, and hoard it for no reason, when giving a little bit here and there would make a lot of other peoples lives much better at little to no cost to themselves. /shrug