Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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My sister has had like 3-4 casual abortions that she doesn't think I know about. She's a certified retard.
I'll just leave that there.
I'll just leave that there.
Gravy
Bronze Squire
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Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I don't know what "procedure" she had done but it was not the morning after pill, I asked her about that. Don't know if there is another pill or not, didn't get into specifics and I am no expert on this kind of thing.
iannis
Musty Nester
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"medical" abortion is a headscratcher.
I think she must be using that as opposed to folklore abortions. I don't even know any folklore abortions, but I'm sure that there's some crazy ass mexican remedies for unwanted babies. And yeah, having a doctor do it is probably less harmful than packing your cervix with sage or poisoning yourself just enough to induce a miscarriage.
That's a big old wtf and morally offputting-- but it's also irrelevant unless you get her pregnant or want to get her pregnant. Abortions can make it more difficult to carry, but so do miscarriages. Lots of things can affect fertility.
And I could be wrong, I haven't been following closely -- but I don't think you've been with her long enough to even be thinking about children in a serious way yet. And, seeing as how no one is getting any younger, even if the both of you are individually giving it some consideration. I dunno, that's just a bridge to cross when its time to cross it.
I think she must be using that as opposed to folklore abortions. I don't even know any folklore abortions, but I'm sure that there's some crazy ass mexican remedies for unwanted babies. And yeah, having a doctor do it is probably less harmful than packing your cervix with sage or poisoning yourself just enough to induce a miscarriage.
That's a big old wtf and morally offputting-- but it's also irrelevant unless you get her pregnant or want to get her pregnant. Abortions can make it more difficult to carry, but so do miscarriages. Lots of things can affect fertility.
And I could be wrong, I haven't been following closely -- but I don't think you've been with her long enough to even be thinking about children in a serious way yet. And, seeing as how no one is getting any younger, even if the both of you are individually giving it some consideration. I dunno, that's just a bridge to cross when its time to cross it.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Like Britney Spears retard, although I think she was only one or two steps away from needing a helmet.
Like.. one accidental pregnancy with a dude is forgivable. Two is... are you fucking serious wear a condom??? Three.. Four.. at that point you lose faith.
Gravy
Bronze Squire
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How do you not say anything, do you keep your distance? I've never had a sister, I don't know what the protocol here would be.
Palum
what Suineg set it to
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So second wedding of the season last weekend. GF couldn't help but take pot shots about marriage every hour or so this time. Once again I keenly deflect yet another long drawn out discussion until we are going to bed after the reception. She finally starts actually talking about it instead of listing things she wants slyly or making a joke. Eventually, though, I asked her if she really wanted a lifelong relationship that was cemented by a legal contract instead of feels and having no ammunition left to fight that one she broke down and started crying something something what I've always wanted, what every woman wants since being a little girl, etc.
I just don't know what to say to that type of conditioning. I still have no great desire to ever get married. I feel like she's at a point where she recognizes she's running out of time to find potential mates at least subconsciously so it's difficult to tell how sincere she is about our relationship 'in a vacuum', if you will. We both have been anti kids since the beginning but twice now when she's been tired and emotional she's started crying about losing the option to have kids as she gets older, ie losing the 'choice' even though I thought she had already made it.
I keep toying with the idea of ending it. It's not that I don't enjoy her company most of the time, I just don't see the benefits. Granted, this is my first ltr where the woman lived with me. But this isn't even a generation ago where you lived sequestered with your family and had to make pretend friends with your neighbors... with the internet and cheap air travel I interact with my actual friends very regularly all over the world. I do 'love' her, as best I can figure, but I've also never had that sort of attachment where I couldn't just let anyone go when I needed to (work, school, death, whatever) presumably due to my experiences as a child. I never had the need to do it out of spite and I really don't dislike or hate her in any capacity but I guess if she just left and said I have to go home I'm not sure I'd be heartbroken in the traditional sense. I suppose the simple way of describing it is I'd be upset if she broke up with me suddenly or viciously but ok if she just had to move on. I'm not sure if it's comfort or just true complacency and I'm just fooling myself that I'd be OK with it. That's part of the problem, though, because I don't really know if I'm capable of ever being 'so in love that I couldn't live without someone' just because of my nascent detachment.
I just don't know what to say to that type of conditioning. I still have no great desire to ever get married. I feel like she's at a point where she recognizes she's running out of time to find potential mates at least subconsciously so it's difficult to tell how sincere she is about our relationship 'in a vacuum', if you will. We both have been anti kids since the beginning but twice now when she's been tired and emotional she's started crying about losing the option to have kids as she gets older, ie losing the 'choice' even though I thought she had already made it.
I keep toying with the idea of ending it. It's not that I don't enjoy her company most of the time, I just don't see the benefits. Granted, this is my first ltr where the woman lived with me. But this isn't even a generation ago where you lived sequestered with your family and had to make pretend friends with your neighbors... with the internet and cheap air travel I interact with my actual friends very regularly all over the world. I do 'love' her, as best I can figure, but I've also never had that sort of attachment where I couldn't just let anyone go when I needed to (work, school, death, whatever) presumably due to my experiences as a child. I never had the need to do it out of spite and I really don't dislike or hate her in any capacity but I guess if she just left and said I have to go home I'm not sure I'd be heartbroken in the traditional sense. I suppose the simple way of describing it is I'd be upset if she broke up with me suddenly or viciously but ok if she just had to move on. I'm not sure if it's comfort or just true complacency and I'm just fooling myself that I'd be OK with it. That's part of the problem, though, because I don't really know if I'm capable of ever being 'so in love that I couldn't live without someone' just because of my nascent detachment.
Zzen
Potato del Grande
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"Medical" abortions (plural) is a serious red flag, but it sounds like you are all in so I think you're gonna ride it out no matter what anyone else says. Things that get that intense that quick don't have a great track record in terms of long-term viability, but like others I am pulling for you bro.
How long ago did these abortions occur?
How long ago did these abortions occur?
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I am certainly not "all in". I am simply not pretending I don't love her nor am I trying to maintain some form of upper hand like a jaded, misguided fool. I'm letting it ride, being honest with myself and sharing the story with you here.
I like to think I have a healthy attitude about relationships. I've been around, I've seen all the warning signs and I know what they look like. People can be deceptive and manipulative and certain things about one's past can offer insight to what is a likely (as in statistically probable) outcome. But in the end it comes down to individuality and how that person deals with the turmoil of their past and how it affects their future. I can't predict that future, I'm not a meteorologist.
I like to think I have a healthy attitude about relationships. I've been around, I've seen all the warning signs and I know what they look like. People can be deceptive and manipulative and certain things about one's past can offer insight to what is a likely (as in statistically probable) outcome. But in the end it comes down to individuality and how that person deals with the turmoil of their past and how it affects their future. I can't predict that future, I'm not a meteorologist.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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I actually respect a pro abortion woman. Too many retarded people shitting out kids as it is. I think you are still OK, Khane.
Palum, I think you need to decide if you can break the indoctrination, and if not, pull the rip cord. Odds are if you don't put a ring on her finger you are still headed for the slow descent into resentment. If her friends are putting this shit into her head, then you are done.
Palum, I think you need to decide if you can break the indoctrination, and if not, pull the rip cord. Odds are if you don't put a ring on her finger you are still headed for the slow descent into resentment. If her friends are putting this shit into her head, then you are done.
Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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I'm shocked at the reactions here. I really am, even finding the right words is difficult. I'm just really bad at judging how our community is going to react to things I guess. I post that I met a single mom who's a freak in the sack and get 4 or 5 pages about how I need to not get attached and make sure to always use protection and yada yada yada. All solid advice, but like a massive "DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID" outpouring I wasn't expecting. I post how I randomly hook up with a married woman and go through with it, I expect some "haha, way to go" responses or something, and end up with a 10+ page discussion of what a terrible, immoral, scumbag I am.
Khane posts about an
(A.) long distance relationship
(B) thats moving at lightning speed,
(C) where "I love you's" have been exchanged
(D) with talks about traveling across the country together.
(E) On top of that, the girl is behaving like a porn star,
(F) wanting his cum in her with no effective birth control,
(G) and explaining how abortions are no big deal at all.
(H) There's also the blurb about keeping damaged people in her life, her father, maybe not a big deal, but....
That's just off the top of my head from what we know. I'm 100% skeptical there isn't a ton of other red flags we are currently not being told of, not necessarily because Khane is keeping them from us, but because he is apparently inloveand is maybe not allowing himself to read too much into whatever else is going on.
Now, I'm not trying to be a buzzkill here, I'm just saying I'm really surprised almost every single response has been "Sounds good, just take it as it comes, ride it out, thumbs up bro!".
Does she sound like fun? Yeah, totally. No question about that. Just, for fucks sake, be careful.
P.s. I'm pretty sure you're avatar is influencing everyone's viewpoint of your situation. It's hard not to look at that respectable mans visage, and not picture that as being you, calm, cool, and collected. I'm thinking if your avatar was a cartoon rabbit or something, people would be yelling at you. Thats my new theory.
Khane posts about an
(A.) long distance relationship
(B) thats moving at lightning speed,
(C) where "I love you's" have been exchanged
(D) with talks about traveling across the country together.
(E) On top of that, the girl is behaving like a porn star,
(F) wanting his cum in her with no effective birth control,
(G) and explaining how abortions are no big deal at all.
(H) There's also the blurb about keeping damaged people in her life, her father, maybe not a big deal, but....
That's just off the top of my head from what we know. I'm 100% skeptical there isn't a ton of other red flags we are currently not being told of, not necessarily because Khane is keeping them from us, but because he is apparently inloveand is maybe not allowing himself to read too much into whatever else is going on.
Now, I'm not trying to be a buzzkill here, I'm just saying I'm really surprised almost every single response has been "Sounds good, just take it as it comes, ride it out, thumbs up bro!".
Does she sound like fun? Yeah, totally. No question about that. Just, for fucks sake, be careful.
P.s. I'm pretty sure you're avatar is influencing everyone's viewpoint of your situation. It's hard not to look at that respectable mans visage, and not picture that as being you, calm, cool, and collected. I'm thinking if your avatar was a cartoon rabbit or something, people would be yelling at you. Thats my new theory.
Onoes
Trakanon Raider
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P.s. The rich out of state girl I've been talking to daily since 4th of July suddenly dropped off the face of the earth Tuesday. I sent a text Tues, and Wed with no response, which was weird. I decided I should probably just wait and not appear desperate or needy? Well, after nothing from her all weekend (again, she had been texting me daily since July 4th) I sent a text Sunday night just saying "So, somethings up. Can you at least let me know whats going on? What happened?"
She replied with "I'm sorry. Some stuff is going on with my family, I can't talk about it. It's best I keep my distance for now, and we remain just friends."
Wah wah. So, thats kind of a bummer.
She replied with "I'm sorry. Some stuff is going on with my family, I can't talk about it. It's best I keep my distance for now, and we remain just friends."
Wah wah. So, thats kind of a bummer.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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I was sworn to secrecy by my mother. She told me and my brother and told us we couldn't mention it. It's fucked up.
BrotherWu
MAGA
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Palum,
I've been on that roller coaster, bro. It's going to end in one of a few ways:
1) You put a ring on it.
2) You pull the rip cord. After pulling the rip cord, she will have a breakdown and ask for you to come back, maybe even attend counseling together. Next phase is that he is counseled that you have been a dick all these years for using her without commitment. Phase three, she marries a beta on pops out kids.
3) She changes her mind about it and decides she doesn't want to be married after all and she stops nagging, and you get all the benefits without the contractual obligations for the rest of your life. JUST KIDDING. HAHA! This outcome won't happen. She wants to be be married.
Reading between the lines of your post, I recommend #2.
I've been on that roller coaster, bro. It's going to end in one of a few ways:
1) You put a ring on it.
2) You pull the rip cord. After pulling the rip cord, she will have a breakdown and ask for you to come back, maybe even attend counseling together. Next phase is that he is counseled that you have been a dick all these years for using her without commitment. Phase three, she marries a beta on pops out kids.
3) She changes her mind about it and decides she doesn't want to be married after all and she stops nagging, and you get all the benefits without the contractual obligations for the rest of your life. JUST KIDDING. HAHA! This outcome won't happen. She wants to be be married.
Reading between the lines of your post, I recommend #2.