Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Creslin

Trakanon Raider
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The big hang up is the kids issue, if one wants kids and one doesn't just end it now and move on. If its just the marriage thing then its a harder choice imo, only real difference between married/unmarried in a situation where you live together is that its way easier to end the relationship if unmarried, but if you are happy and don't see the relationship ending its not a huge deal either way imo.

Got the feeling she wants the ring and family that comes with it tho so you are boned. Make sure you figure out wtf she wants cause if she convinces you to marry her and not have kids then a year from now sees some friends popping them out and changes her mind you are in much bigger trouble.
 
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Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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Phazael_sl said:
I actually respect a pro abortion woman. Too many retarded people shitting out kids as it is. I think you are still OK, Khane.

Palum, I think you need to decide if you can break the indoctrination, and if not, pull the rip cord. Odds are if you don't put a ring on her finger you are still headed for the slow descent into resentment. If her friends are putting this shit into her head, then you are done.
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There is a major, major difference between being pro abortion and thinking it is just fine for a dude to jizz in your box because you can just get another medical abortion. People like that are the reason there are people who are so firmly anti-abortion. I'm personally pro-choice but if the person is trying to get a creampie without birth control she is just plain a fucking idiot. Abortions should be a "oh shit the BC failed and I can't have a kid" (or if the person is simply un/misinformed about BC) scenario not the first line in family planning defense.
 
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Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Onoes, in all fairness you had a track record of being semi retarded with women. We were mostly trying to steer you away from being murdered.

Khane's situation is looking more and more weird though.
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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Everyone's situation would seem weird if they were to give a full play by play early on in any relationship. It's fun to play judge and jury is it not?
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

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Reminds me of one of my favorite Jason Isbell Lyrics:

Once a wise man, in the ways of the world
Now I've traded those lessons for faith in a girl.
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You won't find a human that isn't a bit fucked up in some way or another. At some point falling in love is about deciding that the person is worth dealing with their issues. That point is not 3 weeks after you meet them though.
 
Khane

Khane

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It's been a month not three weeks!

Falling in love is not a decision Brutul. You can't choose how you feel about someone. All you can do is choose what you do with those feelings. I'm in love. I'm not moving her into my house.
 
lindz

lindz

#DDs
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That's a tough situation Palum. If marriage is something you definitely don't want and something she definitely does, then I don't think there is much hope of it working. One of you is going to be severely disappointed and it would likely cause long term problems, "Settling" just seems like it wouldn't work. If she wants kids and those only come with marriage and you deny her marriage that will likely cause significant resentment.

If it were me, no matter how much it sucks, I'd end it. Wanting different things is just going end with someone being miserable it seems.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
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I withheld most comments about Khane's situation because he sounds like a hipster and I didn't want my hipster-rage to carry over on his relationship.
 
Alex

Alex

Still a Music Elitist
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"Hipster" gets thrown around way too easily these days. Oh, you like craft beer? Hipster. You don't listen to Top 40 music? Hipster.
 
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Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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Noodle is well known for being the absolute most annoying person for calling everyone a hipster so just ignore his opinion on the matter
 
Khane

Khane

Got something right about marriage
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NoodleAnus_sl said:
I withheld most comments about Khane's situation because he sounds like a hipster and I didn't want my hipster-rage to carry over on his relationship.
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I am so far away from being a hipster it isn't even funny NoodleBro. I fucking hate hipsters.
 
BrutulTM

BrutulTM

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Khane_sl said:
It's been a month not three weeks!

Falling in love is not a decision Brutul. You can't choose how you feel about someone. All you can do is choose what you do with those feelings. I'm in love. I'm not moving her into my house.
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You are right. Replace "falling in love" with "marriage/long term commitment" in my post and it gets my point across. Falling in love is the grease on the skids.
 
Arch

Arch

Lord Nagafen Raider
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@Palum it sounds like the best option might be to let this one go, it sounds like she is wanting something you don't and from what you have said you aren't as "into" her as what she would expect? Not sure how to phrase that, but if you can see it not working and be pretty much ok with that chances are it's not too serious (my apologies if I interpreted that incorrectly).

Brutul makes a great point about pretty much everyone being fucked up in some way, if someone didn't have any kind of issues it would scare me a lot more, I also agree with his assessment of it's more about thinking someone is worth working with as opposed to finding someone without issues.
 
iannis

iannis

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This is going to sound judgmental but I don't mean it to. It sounds like you're straight up using her, Palum. That's not what it's supposed to be about, and if it ends it's going to be ugly. Because she's stayed with you this long its going to take her getting ugly to break away and if you push her away, no matter how you do it, it's going to be interpreted as her usefulness is at an end and you want a younger pussy to fuck. The real question is will it be ugly if you put a ring on it, or are you just resisting it on some sort of quasi-principled ground? If that's really the situation, that she has a need you're unwilling to meet for basically the reason of "That annoys me", and you're unwilling to change that, then you probably should ripcord out. And again, I don't mean any of that to sound judgmental. It's obviously a lot more complex than can be conveyed in a tweet.

Coke out, sell the TV, fuck her sister.
 
Phazael

Phazael

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Or----
She told him what he wanted to hear early on because she thought she could change him through emotional blackmail down the road. She agreed to their situation and then changed the rules. Unless he is being a complete asshole to her, that is pretty much dirty pool (but par for the course for a lot of women) on her part. We don't have the complete story, but how many relationships have you seen or been in when the woman does an about face on shit that was agreed to early once she feels like she has her hooks dug in? Crying to get her way because she "always wanted a wedding since she was a little girl" does not sound like someone making a reasonable rational change of heart. It sounds a lot like a typical mid America woman who put up a bullshit front because she thought she could get her way down the road. Maybe I am not an alpha, but I sure as fuck do not recall ever crying to get my way since I was like three years old. Plus there is a good chance that her little circle of harpy friends are reinforcing this bullshit when they get together.
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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The Ancient_sl said:
Palum kind of sounds like he needs therapy and I don't mean that in a mean way.
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Why? Because it has no interest in marriage? How is that any different than a person who has zero interest in kids?

He should just sit down with her and have a nice talk telling her has zero interest in marriage at all. Tell her exactly how he feels about it and she should make her decision accordingly.
 
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The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
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Nah, it's more than that.

Palum_sl said:
Eventually, though, I asked her if she really wanted a lifelong relationship that was cemented by a legal contract instead of feels ... I just don't know what to say to that type of conditioning. ... but I've also never had that sort of attachment where I couldn't just let anyone go when I needed to (work, school, death, whatever) presumably due to my experiences as a child ... I don't really know if I'm capable of ever being 'so in love that I couldn't live without someone' just because of my nascent detachment.
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