Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Haast_sl said:

Couldn't give you a definitive answer. Work travel caused some distance and we weren't communicating well at the time, but both of those are very fixable. I got blindsided, as divorce was 100% her idea and came very suddenly. The conversation that I expected to be "We're in a funk, let's reconnect/get some counseling" was instead "I give no shits about you, peace". It apparently caught all of our friends, family, etc completely off-guard as well.

While it is VERY possible she was cheating, I've found no evidence, nor have mutual friends. Which is strange, as that would explain things much better. I assume she was either thinking of cheating or had specific plans for after that fell through.

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Even if she wasn't cheating she definitely has called in her relief pitcher.

Uh-Oh, Survey Says Half Of Married Women Have A 'Backup Husband' In Mind

This is the type of article that you guys like discussing.

Nope, my Ex hasn't said anything about money at all, in fact, I stopped by last weekend to get my son's school shoe's, and we ended up hanging out and chatting for like 2 hours. We're doing really well as far as just being friends goes. She hasn't done a single thing since that day that's made me at all concerned, so fingers crossed that keeps up!

I went out last night with a friend, and we met up with a bunch of people he knew, including a girl who physically was exactly my type and wasn't with anyone. I got good vibes as I was on fucking fire with my wit for some reason last night, I just had a comeback or a line for everyone, and I was keeping the group in stitches. Just a "nailed it" kind of night. At one point she mentioned she had broken up with her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, so I was thrilled. When my friend was taking off, I gave him a hug and went "Hey, whats the deal with this Katie girl? Any reason I shouldn't ask her out, I'm in love, hah." And he shook his head and went "Don't do it, I'll fill you in later." So, I don't ask her out, but walk her to her car at the end of the night, and say it was nice meeting her.

I get home and text my friend asking what the deal was, and he says "She's in a bad place right now, she just went through a really rough break up, and she doesn't need a lay. She's also a really good friend. Maybe in a month or two man, but give her some time."

So, I'm mildly annoyed because I thought there was some "reason" other than "I want to protect my friend from sleeping with anyone right away.", as that doesn't seem like much of a reason at all. She's having a birthday party tomorrow night at the bar my friend owns, she's turning 26, I'm debating going out just to run into her again, I'd really like to get to know her.

Also, you guys know the super crazy girl who sent me all the crazy bipolar texts? About 6 weeks ago she sent me a text that she moved to Prescott to live with a guy she met online, and things were going great, and she just wanted to apologize again and let me know she was in a bad place, and yada yada yada. I did respond with "I'm glad, I knew things would turn out well for you" and she responded with " "

Last night, about 2am, she sends me a text that says "I just got engaged!". I didn't respond, haha, poor guy. He has no idea..... lol

The Ancient_sl said:

Even if she wasn't cheating she definitely has called in her relief pitcher.

Uh-Oh, Survey Says Half Of Married Women Have A 'Backup Husband' In Mind

This is the type of article that you guys like discussing.

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Birds only fly from nest to nest. It's anecdotal, but whether it be family or friends I don't know of any wife that initiated divorce that didn't have a new dude ASAP. One of the few areas where chicks are consistently pragmatic :/

Onoes_sl said:

Last night, about 2am, she sends me a text that says "I just got engaged!". I didn't respond, haha, poor guy. He has no idea..... lol

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Jesus, that poor bastard.

Onoes_sl said:

Nope, my Ex hasn't said anything about money at all, in fact, I stopped by last weekend to get my son's school shoe's, and we ended up hanging out and chatting for like 2 hours. We're doing really well as far as just being friends goes. She hasn't done a single thing since that day that's made me at all concerned, so fingers crossed that keeps up!

I went out last night with a friend, and we met up with a bunch of people he knew, including a girl who physically was exactly my type and wasn't with anyone. I got good vibes as I was on fucking fire with my wit for some reason last night, I just had a comeback or a line for everyone, and I was keeping the group in stitches. Just a "nailed it" kind of night. At one point she mentioned she had broken up with her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, so I was thrilled. When my friend was taking off, I gave him a hug and went "Hey, whats the deal with this Katie girl? Any reason I shouldn't ask her out, I'm in love, hah." And he shook his head and went "Don't do it, I'll fill you in later." So, I don't ask her out, but walk her to her car at the end of the night, and say it was nice meeting her.

I get home and text my friend asking what the deal was, and he says "She's in a bad place right now, she just went through a really rough break up, and she doesn't need a lay. She's also a really good friend. Maybe in a month or two man, but give her some time."

So, I'm mildly annoyed because I thought there was some "reason" other than "I want to protect my friend from sleeping with anyone right away.", as that doesn't seem like much of a reason at all. She's having a birthday party tomorrow night at the bar my friend owns, she's turning 26, I'm debating going out just to run into her again, I'd really like to get to know her.

Also, you guys know the super crazy girl who sent me all the crazy bipolar texts? About 6 weeks ago she sent me a text that she moved to Prescott to live with a guy she met online, and things were going great, and she just wanted to apologize again and let me know she was in a bad place, and yada yada yada. I did respond with "I'm glad, I knew things would turn out well for you" and she responded with "

"

Last night, about 2am, she sends me a text that says "I just got engaged!". I didn't respond, haha, poor guy. He has no idea..... lol

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Your buddy is cock-blocking you. WTF.

The Ancient_sl said:

Even if she wasn't cheating she definitely has called in her relief pitcher.

Uh-Oh, Survey Says Half Of Married Women Have A 'Backup Husband' In Mind

This is the type of article that you guys like discussing.

Click to expand...

Maybe I phrased my thoughts poorly. Scenarios:
1) She was outright cheating and really good at keeping it quiet --> Unlikely, as she is one of the least forward-thinking/strategic people I've met. But who knows, stranger things have happened.
2) She had plans to jump nests and they didn't pan out ...or she has done so very quietly --> I think this is what your article covers and is the most likely scenario
3) She had some seriously unfounded self-confidence and is finding out now it was misplaced --> Amusing to consider, but less likely

Regardless, that part of her life is no longer my concern.

EDIT: I see Wombat beat me to the post.

Onoes_sl said:

"Hey, whats the deal with this Katie girl? Any reason I shouldn't ask her out, I'm in love, hah." And he shook his head and went "Don't do it, I'll fill you in later." So, I don't ask her out, but walk her to her car at the end of the night, and say it was nice meeting her.

I get home and text my friend asking what the deal was, and he says "She's in a bad place right now, she just went through a really rough break up, and she doesn't need a lay. She's also a really good friend. Maybe in a month or two man, but give her some time."

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Your friend plans to fuck her. Game on!

bros before hoes or hoes before onoes, who knows

Alex_sl said:

Your buddy is cock-blocking you. WTF.

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Yeah thats some cold shit. Buddy clearly wants to bang her first.

You can't blame him man. He had dibs first

Yeah, that's pretty much the impression I got as well. Sucks, because he is a really nice dude, and he knows a ton of people, so on top of being a cool guy to hang out with, he's a great guy to know socially. He is at a disadvantage though due to his weight, he's a big guy, like a circular dude. 350 pounds or something. So, it seems like woman tend to think of him as a big nonthreatening teddy bear. So yeah, I don't want to burn bridges, but we'll see what happens. Honestly, this is the month I have my kids on the weekend, and a bunch of shit planned anyway, so worst case, I can ask her out next month when I have more time, and if he is upset by it I can fall on the "What? You said she needed a month or so... I waited." card.

Fuck, those fat dudes always got shrines up and sit on her facebook page all day liking everything. Bro you're gonna need a few years before he decides he ain't getting with it.

If he has low self-esteem you might be able to pull off the "oh, thought it was cool dude sorry" and giving him a few days to cool off. Then all is forgotten because he has no friends.

Onoes_sl said:

Yeah, that's pretty much the impression I got as well. Sucks, because he is a really nice dude, and he knows a ton of people, so on top of being a cool guy to hang out with, he's a great guy to know socially. He is at a disadvantage though due to his weight, he's a big guy, like a circular dude. 350 pounds or something. So, it seems like woman tend to think of him as a big nonthreatening teddy bear. So yeah, I don't want to burn bridges, but we'll see what happens. Honestly, this is the month I have my kids on the weekend, and a bunch of shit planned anyway, so worst case, I can ask her out next month when I have more time, and if he is upset by it I can fall on the "What? You said she needed a month or so... I waited." card.

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I guess if he's important to your social network it is best to not tick him off. He'll probably send her The Package equipped with multiple Japanese kimonos and she'll blow him off. But if she's as cool and hot as you say she'll probably find someone else in a few months anyways.

Soygen_sl said:

Oh, he's the fat "nice guy"? Yeah, he definitely cock-blocked you. You don't need permission from other people to talk to someone. Now you know not to ask him in the future.

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^^^^ Yep.

Question -- what's better, a friend that cock blocks, or a friend that knowingly lets you walk into crazy?

Prior to meeting my ex, one of my friends clearly let me walk into crazy. I met a girl at his party and when I asked him about her, he gave me the go-ahead. He had dated her himself years back and he's a cool dude, so I mistakenly thought that meant she was a decent human being since they still hung out. What he knew and I didn't:

- She had dated a bunch of my co-workers and casual friends (unbeknownst to me) and things had gone shitty with most (all?) of them
- She is easily the most selfish human being I've ever met
- She's fucking crazy

After she and I had been on a few dates, we went to a party at our mutual friend's house. She got shitfaced, created drama and apparently fucked my friend's roommate at some point in the night. I did not know about this at the time, but found out later. Sadly, there is more to the story, but I think that gives an adequate window into the crazy. Had I known, I would have run away like my hair was on fire.

So which friend would you prefer? Cock Block or All Aboard The Crazy Train?