Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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T

The Master

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It is possible she simply has some hang ups about sex that lower her drive. You should talk to her about why she "doesn't like" sex. Most women I've met are simply unwilling to analyze why they do, or don't, like certain aspects of sex. Having a conversation with her gives her permission to analyze it with you. That'll help both of you figure out what she does and doesn't like, what her triggers for arousal are, etc. Then tell her you read an article where a couple decided to have sex every day for a month to improve their connection to each other and you want to try that. You enjoy sex and think it is wonderful and makes you feel closer to her, you want her to experience that same feeling. If it works I encourage you to approach her as a new partner. Ask questions. Not "Do you like this?" but "Do you like it when I play with your nipples? Flick them, pinch the, bite them? Harder? Softer?" Explore her whole body, find out everything she likes. Give her very specific yes/nos and tell her to be honest. That it isn't about ego, you just want her to experience the same joy in sex that she makes you feel.

Article, for reference:

What Happened When My Husband And I Had Sex Every Day For A Month
 
Phazael

Phazael

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Shot in the dark here, but is your wife a current or recovering Catholic by any chance? Also how old are both of you?
 
Namon

Namon

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It's funny, I already have it printed out and on my nightstand. I have tried much of the rest of it as well. The problem with the triggers, and she openly admits this, is one week she likes it rough (like a full on titty twister almost), the next she wants it gentle, so the goal posts kind of move on that one. I think I am going to try the "why she doesn't like it" angle tonight during our talk about all of this. I already apologized profusely for my comments earlier today. I dunno this will not be fixed overnight, and I have all the time in the world really, so I'll just keep plugging away. Thanks for the advise though!
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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Have what printed? Hopefully not that huffpo article. The one it referenced isn't that much better. Borderline sexist and assumes the reader is an idiot.

Her fetishes change that much from week to week? As in the previous one doesn't turn her on at all anymore? To a layman, this sound like a psychological problem.
 
T

The Master

Bronze Squire
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What does she do for a living? I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say her emotional state from work is bleeding over into what she does and doesn't want sexually. Betcha when she has a bad day at work she wants it rough and when she has a good day at work she has a bit of a high and wants it gentle.
 
Khane

Khane

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Or the other way around. Bad day at work she wants some tender care and affection. Good day at work she's elated and energetic and full of adrenaline.
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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I find it depends how I approach initiation. If I go in all lovey-dovey, I'm sure to get a gentle-look-into-my-eyes type of ride. If I go after it like I want to bend her over the couch and hit her so deep I touch her tonsils, then I am sure to get a porno-fuck-fest. If she initiates, there is no telling what I'll get.
 
Oldbased

Oldbased

> Than U
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Now this thread is reminding me of
rrr_img_81995.jpg
 
Namon

Namon

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^^ Bravo good sir, well played, well played indeed.

She is in food service. Catering director at a university now. And yes I had that huffpo article printed... hell if I can convince her to have sex with me for 30 days straight I don't care if it comes from Lena Dunham. And actually work setting her mood is mostly my theory, although I agree with Khane on this one. If she had a rough day and was actually in the mood, it'd be a desire for gentle, but then again, I'm pretty dead wrong on things right now so you may be right actually.
 
Deathwing

Deathwing

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Olebass_sl said:
Now this thread is reminding me of
rrr_img_81995.jpg
Click to expand...
Anecdotal evidence is anecdotal, but I bet more women than not would like that type of treatment as long as it was discussed to one degree or another beforehand.


Oh, she works in food service? Yeah, bro, she mad. Like, 24/7. I can see that occupation interfering with your sex life. Would it be the months/weeks that the university is on vacation that you guys bone more often?
 
Namon

Namon

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Don't know yet, she has only been in that position since late September. I can see that correlation though, as she really works with people that make retarded monkeys look brilliant. Before she worked at a small catering place (2 people: herself and the owner) that did high end cakes and weddings. However she is not in the trenches, she works in the office and tells her minions what to do and coordinates everything. Not saying working with stupid wouldn't still be stressful...
 
Phazael

Phazael

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Namon_sl said:
And yes I had that huffpo article printed... hell if I can convince her to have sex with me for 30 days straight I don't care if it comes from Lena Dunham.
Click to expand...
rrr_img_81998.jpg


Seriously, this sexual deviant child molester is about the last person on the fucking planet anyone should be seeking relationship advice from. If you are to the point where you are keeping a Dunham playbook on the night stand, you might want to take a stab at couples counseling.
 
Frenzied Wombat

Frenzied Wombat

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Enough people have willingly fucked Lena whereby she has sufficient collective experience to write a sex handbook? Whenever I look at her I think of a vaginized Pillsbury doughboy wearing a Freddy Krueger mask.
 
Phazael

Phazael

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You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Frenzied Wombat again.
 
Namon

Namon

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Totally misunderstood what I meant... Someone wondered why in the world I had something from huffpo for sex advice, and all I was saying is I don't care who wrote it, if it convinces the wife to lay me, I'm down. Gawd.
 
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