Marriage and the Power of Divorce

It is possible she simply has some hang ups about sex that lower her drive. You should talk to her about why she "doesn't like" sex. Most women I've met are simply unwilling to analyze why they do, or don't, like certain aspects of sex. Having a conversation with her gives her permission to analyze it with you. That'll help both of you figure out what she does and doesn't like, what her triggers for arousal are, etc. Then tell her you read an article where a couple decided to have sex every day for a month to improve their connection to each other and you want to try that. You enjoy sex and think it is wonderful and makes you feel closer to her, you want her to experience that same feeling. If it works I encourage you to approach her as a new partner. Ask questions. Not "Do you like this?" but "Do you like it when I play with your nipples? Flick them, pinch the, bite them? Harder? Softer?" Explore her whole body, find out everything she likes. Give her very specific yes/nos and tell her to be honest. That it isn't about ego, you just want her to experience the same joy in sex that she makes you feel.

Article, for reference:

What Happened When My Husband And I Had Sex Every Day For A Month

It's funny, I already have it printed out and on my nightstand. I have tried much of the rest of it as well. The problem with the triggers, and she openly admits this, is one week she likes it rough (like a full on titty twister almost), the next she wants it gentle, so the goal posts kind of move on that one. I think I am going to try the "why she doesn't like it" angle tonight during our talk about all of this. I already apologized profusely for my comments earlier today. I dunno this will not be fixed overnight, and I have all the time in the world really, so I'll just keep plugging away. Thanks for the advise though!

What does she do for a living? I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say her emotional state from work is bleeding over into what she does and doesn't want sexually. Betcha when she has a bad day at work she wants it rough and when she has a good day at work she has a bit of a high and wants it gentle.

Or the other way around. Bad day at work she wants some tender care and affection. Good day at work she's elated and energetic and full of adrenaline.

I find it depends how I approach initiation. If I go in all lovey-dovey, I'm sure to get a gentle-look-into-my-eyes type of ride. If I go after it like I want to bend her over the couch and hit her so deep I touch her tonsils, then I am sure to get a porno-fuck-fest. If she initiates, there is no telling what I'll get.

Oh I'll boil her down alright

Now this thread is reminding me of

^^ Bravo good sir, well played, well played indeed.

She is in food service. Catering director at a university now. And yes I had that huffpo article printed... hell if I can convince her to have sex with me for 30 days straight I don't care if it comes from Lena Dunham. And actually work setting her mood is mostly my theory, although I agree with Khane on this one. If she had a rough day and was actually in the mood, it'd be a desire for gentle, but then again, I'm pretty dead wrong on things right now so you may be right actually.

Don't know yet, she has only been in that position since late September. I can see that correlation though, as she really works with people that make retarded monkeys look brilliant. Before she worked at a small catering place (2 people: herself and the owner) that did high end cakes and weddings. However she is not in the trenches, she works in the office and tells her minions what to do and coordinates everything. Not saying working with stupid wouldn't still be stressful...

Enough people have willingly fucked Lena whereby she has sufficient collective experience to write a sex handbook? Whenever I look at her I think of a vaginized Pillsbury doughboy wearing a Freddy Krueger mask.

Totally misunderstood what I meant... Someone wondered why in the world I had something from huffpo for sex advice, and all I was saying is I don't care who wrote it, if it convinces the wife to lay me, I'm down. Gawd.

My wife's pregnancy boobs are in. This is the greatest moment of my life