Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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What is your experience with open relationships beyond the one girl you tried to get to "accept" one?
Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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You're not allowed to call me out Soygen!!!!
Time is an illusion.
A donkey will always be a donkey. It doesn't magically turn into a stud after 10 years of hard donkey labor.
BrutulTM
Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
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Man, I'm glad I'm not basing any life decisions on advice from this thread. Now here's mine. I think Ameraves should talk to a therapist, and I think that if the wife can convince you that she really wants to try to make it work then you should try counseling again. It seems to me that you guys have a lot of good things in your relationship to go along with some big problems.
It sounds like your last therapist basically told you to get divorced, and maybe they are right, but there are plenty of shitty therapists out there. If another one tells you the same thing, then maybe you should consider it, but I wouldn't give up on the counseling route just because the first person you tried didn't work out. At least someone like that can talk to both people and use their training rather than making proclamations based on reading a 1 page essay from one side of the situation like those of us in this thread are doing now.
It sounds like your last therapist basically told you to get divorced, and maybe they are right, but there are plenty of shitty therapists out there. If another one tells you the same thing, then maybe you should consider it, but I wouldn't give up on the counseling route just because the first person you tried didn't work out. At least someone like that can talk to both people and use their training rather than making proclamations based on reading a 1 page essay from one side of the situation like those of us in this thread are doing now.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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True, but after 10 years hard labor he can fuck like a tank. Plus, he's hung like a donkey.
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Bitches have trouble separating feelings from sex. If you were going to do an open relationship, she would have to retrain herself on that front.
I don't blame you, but at least you considered it. Apparently you still 'take care' of her, so maybe it's not a good answer anyway. I thought maybe you were one of those guys who didn't like going down.
As for fighting, the fact that you're in a wheelchair is even better. Make sure it's in public. Kick him in the shins (meaning run into his shins with your wheelchair) and make him beat your ass. That way he's the one who beat up the cripple who's wife he's fucking.
Also you didn't say anything about telling his wife. You should have done that right before the second warning to back off.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Mures
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Exactly, I was just playing a bit of an angel's advocate since everyone else was telling ameraves to nuke his marriage of 10+ years w/ 3 kids because his wife had a bit of online infidelity with a dude across the country. Yes that is fucked up and yes ameraves deserves better, but her actions seem to indicate she knows she fucked up and she at least isn't ready to give up on the marriage now. Their situation is quite unique, if they were both miserable/arguing all the time, yeah, it might be time to consider seperating, but from what ameraves tells us their marriage is great other than problems stemming from their unique situation that any couple would struggle to deal with and I'm in a different, but kind of similar situation so I can relate to ameraves when he says that.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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If we accept that Mist is actually female, we also have to accept that she is lesbian and hides under her mom's skirt. Her being stubborn doesn't matter. She is not on anyone's marriage or relationship radar.
On topic about Amv-
She lied to you on multiple occasions. This is not salvageable and don't let personal desperation tell you otherwise. Its time to move on with your life as it is, not as you want it to be. Even if you feel she is still deserving of your love, she clearly wants out and is too nice to just cut bait. Its long past the point where you should be planning for a future without her in the picture.
And though it pains me to say this, I think I have to side with Hoss in the respect that this was likely about not getting dick. The fact that she zeroed in on the biggest swaggering asshole available pretty much cements it.
Ameraves
New title pending...
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Oh yeah, I love going down there. Shit at this point I put lesbians to shame.
As for telling his wife, he isn't married. He is twice divorced, and had 2-3 other failed engagements as well.
Mures
Blackwing Lair Raider
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Yup, she stayed with him for over 10 years and had multiple children with him because she is too nice to cut bait. No wonder his family thinks she is a saint, you'd have to be a saint to stay with someone/spend the best years of your life with them just because you are "too nice".
Crone
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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I like this. Give this a try Ameraves!
There wasn't a time that she wanted froyo, and you didn't get it for her, was there? That can cause mad problems. Just saying. Make sure you get the damn froyo.
iannis
Musty Nester
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There aren't too many options if an open relationship isn't workable and if she's unwilling to be faithful. She'll just keep cheating on you. So in reality you'll have the worst parts of an open relationship without any of the decent parts.
An awful lot of this depends on some real specific stuff about your situation though that you probably shouldn't talk to strangers on the internet about. You kinda need some actual facetime with a priest/therapist to work through the math of this. I mean someone you know, who knows you, whose judgement you are inclined to take seriously. Is she your wife, is she your nurse? And maybe I'm wrong, I hope I'm wrong, but I have some concerns that no divorce settlement would award primary custody to a handicapped father over an able bodied mother. No matter how much of a cheating slut she is. I mean christ, she could be a meth addict and they'd still give her the primary custody of the kids.
There's only so much that we can help, really. You deserve better. It genuinely sucks that she broke.
An awful lot of this depends on some real specific stuff about your situation though that you probably shouldn't talk to strangers on the internet about. You kinda need some actual facetime with a priest/therapist to work through the math of this. I mean someone you know, who knows you, whose judgement you are inclined to take seriously. Is she your wife, is she your nurse? And maybe I'm wrong, I hope I'm wrong, but I have some concerns that no divorce settlement would award primary custody to a handicapped father over an able bodied mother. No matter how much of a cheating slut she is. I mean christ, she could be a meth addict and they'd still give her the primary custody of the kids.
There's only so much that we can help, really. You deserve better. It genuinely sucks that she broke.
Phazael
Confirmed Beta Shitlord, Fat Bastard
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They do if there is guilt or pressure. Are you tell me a small town girl in the middle of Jesusland is not going to cave to the pressure to stay with the guy who crippled himself because of the "WWJD" social pressure involved? That shit happens ALL the time. She basically said in marriage counselling that she was not getting what she wanted (i.e. Dick) and Amv did not want to hear that at the time. And when she goes out looking for dong her first go to guy is the biggest asshole her husband doesn't like. The writing is on the wall for this one. Maybe too nice was the wrong word, though. Weak would be a better one.
Amer has to decide if he wants to live a life of distrust while making her miserable or moving on and (realistically) probably being alone for the long haul. It is not a happy thought, but its the reality of the situation. The lies are always what kills a relationship, more than the cheating. I am not saying this shit to be mean. If he drags her back into therapy or counselling again, then he is going to have to address the "not getting any dick" elephant in the room at some point. He is not interested in an open marriage, so that has to addressed one way or another. If they don't confront this (and the lying), then they are basically right back where they were with him miserable from a lack of trust and her sneaking around his back to get laid. Not a tenable situation for ANYONE, let alone someone with Amer's additional concerns.
Mures
Blackwing Lair Raider
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I agree they need to confront this problem and resolve it, that resolution may end in separation, but at least try to come to a resolution with your partner and don't just check out immediately because you are hurt now. People make mistakes all the time.
And not to get too personal, but I will say say, ameraves, just because you can get her off like a champ that doesn't mean she doesn't feel like she is still missing something in the bedroom. Women need a good dickering at least every once in awhile.
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Unless you think 'lying about to get in their pants' is 'having trouble separating love and sex', I don't really think really think its a widespread problem amongst the dick wielding community.
For example, do you really think sleazeball fuckface loves Amny's wife? If you do, you're as dumb as a girl.
I can confirm from my wife that although getting eaten out is nice it isn't completely fulfilling. There is a certain level of intimacy of intercourse that cannot be replicated by cunnilingus. It is difficult for us males to understand since all we really care about is nutting and how we arrive at the destination isn't a massive import. It is different for females. The journey often times is as important (if not more) as the destination.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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So you think men never feel an emotional connection to their sexual partner? Also, women aren't nearly as attached to emotions and "feelings" as you make them out to be in regard to sex. They too can "just fuck". As a single man, I can assure you of that.