Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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lindz

#DDs
1,201
65
Marriage isn't for most people, but people do it anyway because they can get caught up in the emotions. Most people are too selfish to get married.
I agree with a lot of your points but this one is so pessimistic. Marriage is still for most people, though society is telling people more and more that people can have and be whatever they want to the detriment of their partner. When it comes down to it, people want the intimacy and stability. There is a reason marriage has been around since before recorded history. There is a feeling of contentment and completeness that comes with the family unit that people who have not been married are never able to understand. Yeah people are selfish but that doesn't mean marriage doesn't work except in extreme cases.
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,740
14,508
You don't need to be married for any of that. Marriage is literally just a word and a couple of signatures on a legal document.

It's also impossible to say whether or not marriage is for "most" people anyway. Society has placed undue pressure on single individuals to be married. And married people tend to patronize their single peers. It's pretty terrible. I have some really great friends but I don't get invited to a decent amount of the get togethers they have because they are all married and I am not. "Well, we just thought you wanted to go out on a Saturday night". Please... I'm an adult, why don't you extend the invitation and let me decide for myself. It's even worse with the people who have kids. They start treating all their single friends like adult versions of their children. They think they know best just because they have a silly ring on their finger.
 

lindz

#DDs
1,201
65
You don't need to be married for any of that. Marriage is literally just a word and a couple of signatures on a legal document.

It's also impossible to say whether or not marriage is for "most" people anyway. Society has placed undue pressure on single individuals to be married. And married people tend to patronize their single peers. It's pretty terrible. I have some really great friends but I don't get invited to a decent amount of the get togethers they have because they are all married and I am not. "Well, we just thought you wanted to go out on a Saturday night". Please... I'm an adult, why don't you extend the invitation and let me decide for myself. It's even worse with the people who have kids. They start treating all their single friends like adult versions of their children. They think they know best just because they have a silly ring on their finger.
Again, you have absolutely no idea the feeling of contentment and completeness that comes with marriage and children. It is truly nothing you can even understand. Remember those of who are married were single once too and but the world kind of changed when I was married. No it is not just a signature on a legal document, if it was no one would ever bother. I'm not telling you your chosen existence is meaningless so don't try to disparage something that been important to people for thousands of years.

Married and singles (and especially those with kids) do tend to hang in different crowds and it isn't because we think less of single people it is because we have less in common. When I hang out with other people with kids a lot of our topics of conversation involves our kids. When you spend a HUGE part of your life taking care of your kids, that becomes a very large part of what you talk about. Now hang out with a single person with no kids and a very big part of our lives is no longer something we discuss much. It is like if I went and hung out with someone that was super into cars. I know nothing about cars so our interaction wouldn't be super interesting.
 

TomServo

<Bronze Donator>
7,470
11,513
Parents that are all about their kids are people who had nothing interesting to offer in the first place.
 

lindz

#DDs
1,201
65
And then I remember I am posting in the divorce thread where a lot of the people hate marriage and women in general. Stupid me!
 

Khane

Got something right about marriage
20,740
14,508
Again, you have absolutely no idea the feeling of contentment and completeness that comes with marriage and children. It is truly nothing you can even understand. Remember those of who are married were single once too and but the world kind of changed when I was married. No it is not just a signature on a legal document, if it was no one would ever bother. I'm not telling you your chosen existence is meaningless so don't try to disparage something that been important to people for thousands of years.

Married and singles (and especially those with kids) do tend to hang in different crowds and it isn't because we think less of single people it is because we have less in common. When I hang out with other people with kids a lot of our topics of conversation involves our kids. When you spend a HUGE part of your life taking care of your kids, that becomes a very large part of what you talk about. Now hang out with a single person with no kids and a very big part of our lives is no longer something we discuss much. It is like if I went and hung out with someone that was super into cars. I know nothing about cars so our interaction wouldn't be super interesting.
This is a typical response. You don't need to be married to have contentment and completeness in a relationship. Nor do you need to be married to have children. Lindz, it's literally just a word. And as for not having anything in common? Give me a break. Yes your major focus might be your kids but you can still hang out with someone on a weekly basis and have a normal friendship regardless of relationship status. Your entire post is exactly what I'm talking about. Married people don't even attempt anymore. Try being honest about the real reason. "I'm married and you're single, I kind of think I'm better than you because I've found someone and you haven't".

I know what love feels like Lindz. Stop acting like just because I'm not married yet I can't possibly know what love means. How does it feel to be so patronizing and condescending about the fact you have a husband?
 

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
16
This is a typical response. You don't need to be married to have contentment and completeness in a relationship. Nor do you need to be married to have children. Lindz, it's literally just a word. And as for not having anything in common? Give me a break. Yes your major focus might be your kids but you can still hang out with someone on a weekly basis and have a normal friendship regardless of relationship status. Your entire post is exactly what I'm talking about. Married people don't even attempt anymore. Try being honest about the real reason. "I'm married and you're single, I kind of think I'm better than you because I've found someone and you haven't".

I know what love feels like Lindz. Stop acting like just because I'm not married yet I can't possibly know what love means. How does it feel to be so patronizing and condescending about the fact you have a husband?
Jimmies rustled
 

TomServo

<Bronze Donator>
7,470
11,513
Lindz is an idiot and khanes is spot on. I am married and only to provide my wife with the benefits that come with that. Not because some words have some magical binding power. The power of our love and desire to be with each other is all that matters for however long that is. Fuck off marriage junkie.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,659
Lindz is also a woman.

Bros, plenty of men feel this way too. They just know not to express these sorts of emotions to other men because they're not going to understand what you're talking about and they're probably going to respond to it with some level of hostility. That is what beer is for.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
31,351
17,659
Lindz is also a woman.

Bros, plenty of men feel this way too. They just know not to express these sorts of emotions to other men because they're not going to understand what you're talking about and they're probably going to respond to it with some level of hostility. That is what beer is for.
 

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
19,577
3,743
Lindz is also a woman.

Bros, plenty of men feel this way too. They just know not to express these sorts of emotions to other men because they're not going to understand what you're talking about and they're probably going to respond to it with some level of hostility. That is what beer is for.
One of the strongest intimacy in Pakistan is shared between men. Also, in some parts of Asia (I think Vietnam), holding hands between men is a norm between friends.

Intimacy between men and women didn't really blossom until I think Victorian era. That's when women started to sell romance as a viable courtship tool.

I think Mad Men does a good job of..er.."ideal" family marriage.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,478
16,430
Lindz also has sex with her husband 40 times a day and if she's on her period takes him in her mouth.. let's get real for a second here, 99% of women are not like that.
 

Chesire_sl

shitlord
331
1
Show me a pretty girl and I can often show you a guy who is tired of fucking her .

Faith Hill is soon going too be ready for some hardcore face down ass up action with a new man it looks like. I can do that , PM me faith )
 

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
11,041
794
Yeah, it goes more like "show me the hottest girl you know and I'll find you a guy who's sick of her shit" or something.

Although you can get tired of fucking them too, but not as tired as you get of her shit.
 

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!
<Gold Donor>
48,800
85,845
I've never really found the 'you can't contemplate or understand what something is like until you experience it yourself' to be true. The same went with marriage. There are a lot of relationships where two couples are pretty incompetent, get married and discover marriage is very different than they realized, but mine was not one of them. I imagine that's true for most people here since we're all nerds.

Marriage brings a lot of things to the table, some good and some bad. The primary benefit to a relationship is the formal permanent commitment, the ritualistic intent behind staying together forever, the attempt at growing old together. No, you don't need to be married to stay together till death do you part, and no, you don't need marriage to agree to stay together for better or worse, but marriage is the tradition by which its done and the announcement to society that it was done. Plus the monster of divorce creates a barrier between a married couple and separation.