Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
- Start date
-
Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Tuco
I got Tuco'd!
- 48,800
- 85,845
Re: Woman bitching about her husband's spending habits. Without knowing the details it's tough to say if it's smart or not. The truth is that most American finances are disasters. Most well-employed people in this country will dole out whatever seems smart to their 401k, then calculate a budget if everything is optimal, buy the most expensive house/car they can and whatever is left over they spend on dumb shit. In the end they're lucky if they don't start accruing debt from the unexpected expenses that everyone has.
It could be that her husband spends like this and he needs her to scold him every day about it or they'll fall into debt. Or it could be that she doesn't think he spends enough on her and their finances are just fine.
It could be that her husband spends like this and he needs her to scold him every day about it or they'll fall into debt. Or it could be that she doesn't think he spends enough on her and their finances are just fine.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
- 20,740
- 14,508
She's talking to her "Mmm Hmmm girl" co-worker about how she's going to make her husband sleep at his parent's house if she doesn't get her way. I don't need much more information than that to know this woman is entitled, selfish and immature.
If the shoe fits...
If the shoe fits...
Cad
scientia potentia est
- 26,225
- 53,372
Talking to the wife about it is one thing... when the wife says "NO AND DONT ASK AGAIN YOU CANNOT SPEND THAT MONEY" its her making the decision, there's no discussing or negotiation.
- 26,708
- 40,957
Well there is a bit more to this equation though, cad. What if the man/woman wanting to spend the money does so frivolously time and time again? Eventually you do have to step in and put your foot down because if you dont it might ruin your family financially.
Some grownups are like fucking children when it comes to shit like that.
I know myself for an example am an impulse buyer. When I see something I want, the need and thought of having it at that moment outweighs any rational thought of the consequences of that purchase on my families money situation.
Yes it is a partnership and yes it should be discussed.
Some grownups are like fucking children when it comes to shit like that.
I know myself for an example am an impulse buyer. When I see something I want, the need and thought of having it at that moment outweighs any rational thought of the consequences of that purchase on my families money situation.
Yes it is a partnership and yes it should be discussed.
BrotherWu
MAGA
- 3,418
- 7,135
Agree it can go both ways. I have a brother-in-law who has a long history of buying shit that they don't need and can't afford. Every fucking gadget, esoteric tool, and ponzy-ass pyramid scheme has seen his dollar. He was raised by idiots and that is all he has ever known. In my case, I must admit, I was pissing it away as fast as I could make it as a bachelor and my wife, who was was raised better, taught me a little something about saving. My 10-year-old has opened his own bank account, wants to start a business, and is, of his own volition, saving for some as-yet-unknown item. So, hopefully I am leaving the world a little better place in that regard.
On the other hand, I had serious Hulk rage the other day when she vetoed the PS4 purchase. Fucking really? I make about 2.5x your salary, woman. Cut me some slack.
Oh, and:
The Men's rules - Joke
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping
On the other hand, I had serious Hulk rage the other day when she vetoed the PS4 purchase. Fucking really? I make about 2.5x your salary, woman. Cut me some slack.
Oh, and:
The Men's rules - Joke
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 38,478
- 16,430
We usually discuss what we're going to buy if its more than $50 or something like that. Usually it's just telling the other "hey I think I might buy this game, do you care?" I can't imagine going out and dropping several hundred without even mentioning it.
OneofOne
Silver Baronet of the Realm
- 6,962
- 8,729
Gravy
Bronze Squire
- 4,918
- 455
My wife started that way, and has stayed that way, as my lack of fun toys can attest to. Best of luck!
Well I run the finances for both of us as she let me take over before we got married. Thankfully she stays really responsible and doesn't blow tons of $$ on clothes, always comes to me with anything significant cost wise. Only had to veto 1-2 impulse buys and beyond that things are good. I have the discretion to buy what I want, but then again money isn't exactly tight for us
Gravy
Bronze Squire
- 4,918
- 455
Excellent. We can meet at Kreis' Steakhouse on Lindbergh and discuss marriage while you buy us dinner. Just think, all the value and wisdom of couple married for 23 years...I have the discretion to buy what I want, but then again money isn't exactly tight for us
- 17,066
- 8,069
That sounds like a huge pain in the ass. Both of our paychecks go to one bank account. Stuff we need comes out of that account. Extras beyond a certain dollar amount get discussed. Everything, aside from a small amount of our tax return that we get to blow on whatever we feel, gets budgeted. It's simple and trusting.
Marriages with separate banks accounts are the same issue I outlined previously. It's the same trust issue with a different name.
Marriages with separate banks accounts are the same issue I outlined previously. It's the same trust issue with a different name.
Nester
Vyemm Raider
- 4,985
- 3,186
Of course not. Its not about half yours and half mine, Its about all ours. For me, all money goes into a pool, expenses/savings are subtracted including an equal allowance of "spending money" Big purchases are discussed. I make about 2/3 the income so in theory I am paying for 2/3 of everything. Until writing this down I never really thought about it that way, honestly it does not mater, we are a family and we are in it together. Most big purchases end up leaning towards me, TVs, computers, this year we bought new French doors and dumped our sliding glass. I truly believe it's a partnership so I never think about hers and mine. On a month to month basis I only make a few hundred dollars a month more so the day to day income is very equal. I just happened to get 4 major bonus a year that make the difference. I love that about my job, live on a little bit, get paid in large chunks ever 3 months.
Here is a big Cavet, my wife is thrifty she does not "need" a lot of "things" by her own admission. If she was a shopaholic perhaps I would have a different view.
Nester
Vyemm Raider
- 4,985
- 3,186
I can not imagine sharing my life with someone who does not want to share the same bank account. My brother in law is that way and I just don't get it. For me you are either in or you are out.
TrollfaceDeux
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
- 19,577
- 3,743
good thing about asian mother is that they hold their husbands accountable and nag them to death. those savings went into purchasing an apartment after 7 years of saving.
it's a good working family model.
it's a good working family model.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
- 38,478
- 16,430
Yeah we got a joint checking/savings and that's it. She has a checking account left over from before getting married that her student loans get taken out of, too lazy to switch yet. I also have a separate checking account with the same deal. We'll merge them sooner or later. I just don't see the sense of us not pooling our money.
Nester
Vyemm Raider
- 4,985
- 3,186
While pooling money in one account is great ! I do not recommend getting rid of your own checking accounts as well.
We have one main account, all paycheques go into it, most banking is done out of it. I pay the visa/mortgage bills that do not automatically go on the CC (Visa pays me $1000 a year in points, i have not paid them interest in years) out of this account. This is OURS.
Each of us has our old individual accounts from before we are married, this is "MY MONEY" and "HER MONEY" we fill these with a pre-determined allowance. I use $75 a week each.
I also have my private savings account. I pull money in from my chequing account and save a little at a time ($10-15 a week) I buy Christmas and Bday presents out of this savings account.
We also have a US Dollar account for playing the exchange for traveling.
We have a long term (OH SHIT) savings account with ING direct. Its free and out of site out of mind.
I pay $30 a month to my bank for VIP status, i get 2 premium credit cards ($120 each a year) and about 5 accounts. If you pay more than this, go talk to your bank, i used to pay a shit ton in bank fees until i went in for a second look.
I want to be clear, pooling your money does not mean less bank accounts, Its taking advantage of the power of larger sums of money as well as compartmentalizing your savings for tracking and control purposes.
Marriage isn't for most people, but people do it anyway because they can get caught up in the emotions. Most people are too selfish to get married.
I would echo the comments people make on guys being on the losing end of things if things go south... particularly if your wife doesn't work.
If you need a pre-nup to get married, you shouldn't get married.
If you don't want kids, what is the point in getting married? Chances are, you are already living with the person you want to marry, so really getting legally married doesn't change much.
If you are married and sex is used as a reward or is withheld as a punishment, you failed. Count the days till your divorce.
I would echo the comments people make on guys being on the losing end of things if things go south... particularly if your wife doesn't work.
If you need a pre-nup to get married, you shouldn't get married.
If you don't want kids, what is the point in getting married? Chances are, you are already living with the person you want to marry, so really getting legally married doesn't change much.
If you are married and sex is used as a reward or is withheld as a punishment, you failed. Count the days till your divorce.