Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Tuco · Dec 16, 2013

Not doubting Swagdaddy's word but I bet 75% of women who get child support say their men don't pay it.

But there's also different laws and I think some are loose enough that the female has to make some serious effort to get child payments, enough that they would have to hurt the man they want in their child's life.

TrollfaceDeux · Dec 16, 2013

"they don't pay enough" = "i don't get anything."

my mother complained about that shit constantly despite the fact that my father gave up his business and his entire wealth behind him.

Swagdaddy · Dec 16, 2013

The court process to collect can literally take years in my home state. To be fair i was raised in a low to lower mid income area but the actual going to jail for not paying part I've rarely seen enforced.

Jysin · Dec 16, 2013

Yea, I dont get how 75% simply "don't pay" and arent locked up unless your friends are homeless people. It's pretty straight forward, pay or go to jail. Sure, there's a few legal steps to take on her behalf but it's not at all difficult to get the court after them. Plus, as Tuco mentioned, they can dock it straight from pay via the courts. Hell, even in my case there are International Child Support laws between certain countries to enforce payment.

Foreign Reciprocating Countries | Office of Child Support Enforcement | Administration for Children and Families

Lejina · Dec 16, 2013

I hear ya Tuco when you say condoms suck, but when I look at this thread I think they are pretty awesome. BC that I have control over? Yes please. I may be way biased in their favor given the questionable shanks I many times bedded, but I'll be damned if I'll put this kind of responsibility solely on my woman. Even the best and most trustworthy of them forget to take their pill too often for my taste.

iannis · Dec 16, 2013

That child support varies from state to state.

And frankly you (as a deadbeat dad) could make life miserable for your wife and kids just by crossing state lines every so often. When I was younger I used to work jobs with these kind of guys, and they would trade tips and tricks at work about how to get out of paying as much as they'd been ordered. All it really comes down to is making the state spend money on finding/harassing/forcing you. Wage garnishing is one of the final steps the state will take before they decide that you should go fuck yourself. Sometimes they'll throw you in jail, and sometimes not.

Disregarding that every state will handle it slightly differently even within a single State the will (or ability -- which in politics is sort of the same thing) to enforce varies from county to county.

Xequecal · Dec 17, 2013

They also obviously can't collect from someone who is unemployed, getting paid under the table, or is an actual serious criminal like a drug dealer or something. I'd bet that comprises the majority of deadbeat dads, to be honest.

Xequecal · Dec 17, 2013

I just ran into this at work too, and probably made some enemies because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. One of the lab assistants was complaining about how her husband was spending too much on "guy stuff" for Christmas and I said "you know, maybe you should back off a bit, I mean he's an engineer and makes 2.5 times what you do, let him entertain himself."

She just looks at me with a surprised/horrified look. "Are you serious? He is myhusband.we'repartnersand its our money, he doesn't get to buy whatever he wants when he wants without asking me." To other lab assistant: "Can you believe this?"

"Hell no, if Greg ever tried bringing that up in an argument with me he'd be sleeping at his parents house. We have kids to raise he can't waste money like that."

I couldn't believe it. "What kind of attitude is that? They're not even his kids, you were a single mom when he married you. I'd be grateful he's even there at all."

"OK, you never get to complain about how you don't have a girlfriend again. I think we know why now."

TrollfaceDeux · Dec 17, 2013

Xequecal_sl said:
I just ran into this at work too, and probably made some enemies because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. One of the lab assistants was complaining about how her husband was spending too much on "guy stuff" for Christmas and I said "you know, maybe you should back off a bit, I mean he's an engineer and makes 2.5 times what you do, let him entertain himself."

She just looks at me with a surprised/horrified look. "Are you serious? He is myhusband.we'repartnersand its our money, he doesn't get to buy whatever he wants when he wants without asking me." To other lab assistant: "Can you believe this?"

"Hell no, if Greg ever tried bringing that up in an argument with me he'd be sleeping at his parents house. We have kids to raise he can't waste money like that."

I couldn't believe it. "What kind of attitude is that? They're not even his kids, you were a single mom when he married you. I'd be grateful he's even there at all."

"OK, you never get to complain about how you don't have a girlfriend again. I think we know why now."

jimmies fucking rustled. women spend way too much money and dominate the market left and right. guy shit is nothing compared to girl shit when it comes to cost. frequency of guy shit is much less compared to girl shit, but the single transaction cost may be higher.

TrollfaceDeux · Dec 17, 2013

Xequecal_sl said:
They also obviously can't collect from someone who is unemployed, getting paid under the table, or is an actual serious criminal like a drug dealer or something. I'd bet that comprises the majority of deadbeat dads, to be honest.

funny shit. I read this stat report in texas or some shit. town is poor as fuck and high crime rate. here is the breakdown of the income between men and women. (single) moms earned roughly 10k or so from state support or some other shit. fathers earned zero.

Cad · Dec 17, 2013

Xequecal_sl said:
"OK, you never get to complain about how you don't have a girlfriend again. I think we know why now."

I know its easy to come up with comebacks later on, and you probably wouldn't want to be this mean at work, but you should have said: "And you won't get to complain about being divorced in a year after nagging him to death either, fair is fair right?"

CnCGOD_sl · Dec 17, 2013

As a newly married sucker this kinda thing is scary. My wife seems so damn sane about everything (including money!) and I hope she stays that way. When I proposed we made about the same amount of money but the last few years have been good to me and I make more than double now, scary to think how bad I would get fucked!

Jysin · Dec 17, 2013

Cad_sl said:
I know its easy to come up with comebacks later on, and you probably wouldn't want to be this mean at work, but you should have said: "And you won't get to complain about being divorced in a year after nagging him to death either, fair is fair right?"

QFT

Dabamf_sl · Dec 17, 2013

Well to be devil's advocate, maybe he's buying all kinds of worthless expensive shit. You don't know. I don't get why all couples don't just divy up equal spending money each month. That way it's equal and no one can complain.

That being said, if someone I dated/was married to ever threatened that I'd be sleeping at my parents, like she has some authority over me, I'd absolutely lose my shit. Too many guys willingly castrate themselves in the name of keeping the peace.

Khane · Dec 17, 2013

That's just a maturity issue. Sounds like the women he works with will never grow up. Most professional women would never even consider such a ridiculous notion.

And the better comeback would have been "The reason I'm still single is because I keep meeting retards like you two"

Deathwing · Dec 17, 2013

Everything goes in cycles, including the thread. This is just the same trust issue we talked about weeks ago. Above a certain dollar amount, you should talk to your significant other. Doesn't matter if you can afford it. Doesn't matter if you make 3x the other person. You're married, you agreed to share your lives together, and spending large amounts of money without their permission is a breakdown of that agreement. Maybe it will never go further, but the lack of trust and how it might project into other aspects of the relationship is probably what's truly angering your lab assistant.

Gravel · Dec 17, 2013

I agree, Deathwing. But it sounded more like that woman treats her husband like another one of her children.

It's absolutely the husband's fault too, for empowering her to treat him like that (likely by never sticking up for himself).

Xequecal · Dec 17, 2013

I'm pretty convinced that she's upset that her husband is spending more money on himself than he is on her. She's definitely the one that wears the pants in that relationship. She always talks about stuff like this with her female coworkers that I can hear, last week she was talking about how she has a list of famous guys she's allowed to have sex with if she somehow got the chance, while also freely admitting that her husband doesn't get the same privilege.

Nester · Dec 17, 2013

Xequecal_sl said:
I'm pretty convinced that she's upset that her husband is spending more money on himself than he is on her. She's definitely the one that wears the pants in that relationship. She always talks about stuff like this with her female coworkers that I can hear, last week she was talking about how she has a list of famous guys she's allowed to have sex with if she somehow got the chance, while also freely admitting that her husband doesn't get the same privilege.

Sometimes women just talk shit, who knows what's the truth. Sleeping at the parents house? Sleeping on the couch? Fuck that pick me up and carry me if you wan it that bad. If you are mad you leave the marriage bed, not me. If you ever sleep on the couch because your wife is mad your doing it wrong.

Joeboo · Dec 17, 2013

I occasionally sleep in the guest room

Marriage and the Power of Divorce

I got Tuco'd!

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer

There is a war going on over control of your mind

Ahn'Qiraj Raider

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Musty Nester

Trump's Staff

Trump's Staff

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer

scientia potentia est

shitlord

Ahn'Qiraj Raider

shitlord

Got something right about marriage

Mr. Poopybutthole

Trump's Staff

Vyemm Raider

Molten Core Raider