Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Khane_sl said:

Wait, are you saying you're a swinger after all that nonsense you were spouting about how I've chosen to live my life?

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Gravy_sl said:

I thought she was a nurse. That's a sure fire way to see naked people. Naked people you wish you'd never seen.

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What Gravy said. But we have been to a strip club before even if it was awkward, we have seen game of thrones.

I wasn't complaining about how you live YOUR life, I was complaining that you don't see things through the eyes of a married person. You don't have the same problems. You don't have the same experiences. You color everything you do with crayons labeled 'sex brown' while we do it all in 'life shit brown'. You shouldn't think that your single life should overlap a married person's life. If a married person does decide that though more power to them and they can give advice on how they are making the swinging life work as a married person. That is the difference.

Khane_sl said:

What about a married person who is going through a separation or has recently got divorced. Is their relationship card revoked immediately or does it happen over time? When does their opinion stop counting?

What if I was happily married but a devout mormon. Would I still be allowed to share opinions here or would they be disallowed as well because you and I would have such differing views. What about commonwealth marriages?

You are on your high horse more than anyone else in this thread. Get off my back man!

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All those are valid stances to have an opinion from. Your opinion also is valid but nobody has to agree with it. You have at least 3 pages in the past 24 hours where you stood on top of a high horse standing on top of another high horse shouting the difference between communication and acceptance and then tirading about who likes to fuck just to "feel good" like you were Dr. Ruth or something. This isn't the first time you have come in here demanding your stance be the only tenable stance despite you not having experienced any of this before and it appears that you are just pretty much incapable of monogamy which is how 99% of us (in this thread and society) view marriage. Your response when a man in here is cheated on is that "maybe she just couldn't hold back her human nature" or some drivel like that.

lurkingdirk_sl said:

I think everyone needs to smoke a blunt and calm the fuck down.

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This is how a Khane response to that might go.

Khane_sl said:

Look man, everyone knows that blunts aren't the best way. I know you can't be that stupid to not want a community bong with 3 people at a time hitting that. It's just my opinion but if you aren't doing a bong you are pretty much stupid. You can do what you want with that stupidity but I am from Long Island and this is just how I talk about you stupid mooks. You should be with an open bong and that's just the facts moron. You do what you want though, up to you. Last month I had a blunt but she was just one blunt so I asked her if she wanted to be smoked with 3 other blunts at the same time and for some reason she got mad at me. I can't seem to keep a blunt anywhere near me for more than two weeks but trust me when I say a blunt is not what you need it's a bong. Oh and by the way I have never smoked weed before but this is my stance on how you maintain a relationship with weed. Long Island out!!

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Alex_sl said:

With my friends I've found that kids is the nail in the close friendship coffin, not marriage. All my married friends who don't have kids yet are still very social and we're close. My friend's kid is almost two years old now. He bought a house and moved when the kid was just a few months old. I still haven't been to his new place. He and his wife used to host BBQs all the time. This post makes me sad.

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Yeah we had that problem and still have friends that have it. It's usually more of a one on one family social than big group ones and then the kids get old enough to keep themselves alive at home like age 12 and then we started hanging out with friends at the pub for trivia night again.

Khane_sl said:

You and I (and some other people) weren't actually arguing the same thing. You thought I was defending a woman cheating and the factors that play into it. I thought you knew I was talking about biological and physiological desires in human beings precluding relationship factors, male and female, and how actual scientific studies have shown that we aren't all that different in terms of what we want out of sex.

My argument when a man got cheated on was "That sucks bro, definitely a betrayal, but your situation is rough. Rough on the both of you, I don't know what the answer is for you personally but you might want to at least consider an open relationship."

One statement made before I responded to something completely unrelated (Hoss' idiotic generalization about how women are brainless balls of emotion and men just want to nut) got interpreted as a continuation even though the two were completely unrelated.

I don't know how many times I have to say it to you.

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I did not think you were defending a cheating woman. There were three distinct conversations.

1.) You gave advice to Ameraves to include an open marriage as an option.
2.) You then flipped out about the word communication versus acceptance.
3.) Then you went off about how women can have sex just to have sex.

They all tie into your viewpoint on relationships and sex. You can't extricate the one from the other. You can't understand that a marriage is about more than just the sex. It is an important aspect of marriage but not the most important. Usually it is just a barometer of what is actually going on. Take the situation of Ameraves here. Like we discussed earlier his wife can get her rocks off a lot of different ways both involving him and not involving him. I know one paraplegic and his wife is not wanting for sexual release. What is going on is something wrong with the relationship, the trust, the ones of their marriage. One of the easiest ways for that to manifest is the bedroom. Her resentment isn't that his cock doesn't work, she could use a dildo/vibrator/anything to replace that. Her issue is his disability at all. She is seeking someone that isn't broken or punishing herself for feeling that way possibly. I speak about this from a sort of experience I recently had. No, my wife or I didn't look into cheating on each other. What happened was my wife was feeling really down when I was going through chemo. I wasn't working (still had a job just on sick leave), I was at home miserable, and all anyone we knew wanted to talk about was me and how I was doing. She would build up a little resentment and then remember that her husband didn't choose this and then be even more down on herself. We discussed it and then I sent her on her way to hang out with friends for a weekend and a few mani/pedi's here and there. When we met up with friends I quickly steered the conversation away and tried to center it on her and what she was doing. Made her feel more important and less like the cancer defined our lives. It was effective. This COULD be something his wife is experiencing and the shame and guilt is driving her away from the marriage. There are a number of things that could be going on but it probably isn't just sex and fixable by an open relationship. In fact we know it can't be fixed that way because Ameraves is not comfortable with that kind of arrangement.

The thing is you only see relationships through your myopic view of sex. It's tiring. We get it, you are open about your sexuality and you want to be the animal you are in inside and still maintain a "relationship" and feel free to do that. Maybe start listening to problems though and not immediately drag out, "I hear you stubbed your toe and your wife isn't happy you bled on the white carpet, have you thought about an open relationship".

Khane_sl said:

Bro, you stalking my FB now that Sutekh kicked you off his friends list for being a narc?

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Yeah you not seeing that whole thing back then as the troll that it was either shows that I am a better troll than I thought or that your reading comprehension is nil.