Marriage and the Power of Divorce

I'll stop making fun of his horns and telling him to get a haircut over my cold dead body.

He does shit for attention = a serious problem? Its a personality flaw. People from bad childhoods with "serious problems" to me means they are broke, can't hold jobs, drug addicted, getting arrested. Shit like that. Not, "sure he's responsible and has a solid job, but gosh darn it why doesn't he get a haircut and settle down?!?!?" Ok, whatever grandpa.

Yeah, I don't tell him to cut his horns because I don't like his horns. I do so because I think they are holding him back from getting some of the things he has proclaimed to want in this thread. Similar thing with his child-support, I'm not trying to harp on the guy for the sake of giving him a hard time, I just don't want to see a Rerolled bro's financial life thrown into turmoil because he is being naive and/or dismissive of the potential consequences of his current arrangement (or lack there of).

Tough love.

I remember the posts but I feel like you are running with it way too much. Weren't you trying to make the case that he's an immediate suicide risk? I just don't see his life being as dire as you describe it.

ZyyzYzzy_sl said:

I will be honest, he seems like a decent father, but the amount of things he does in his free time (just based on what he posts) far outweighs activities he does with his children, which is sad since they are probably going through a rough time. I know a lot of that probably has to do with current schedules between his ex-wife and him regarding them, but I sure as fuck wouldn't go on camping trips for Ren Faires and give up time with my daughter if I were in the situation.

Click to expand...

See, couldn't be more wrong here, but at least you didn't outright call me a stupid fuck in this post. My kids are doing wonderfully, excellent in school, super happy kids with awesome lives and loving parents. I have them 50% of the time exactly. I don't go more than 3 days without seeing them. Our schedules are this. Mon, Tues, Wed with me. Thursday with my Ex. Fri, Sat Sunday with me again. The next week we swap. So, for example, I dropped my kids off at school Monday morning, I will pick them up Thursday, Drop them back off Friday morning this week. Next week I pick them up Monday, and have them every single day except Thursday.

It's pretty simple, I get to see them and spend time with them exactly 50% of the time. The other 50% of the time I fill my time with "doing things". That's the shit you hear about. That doesn't mean I'm losing time with my kids or setting a bad example for them when I do have time. I'm sure everyone thinks this way, but I've yet to meet another person I feel does as much for/with their kids as my Ex and I do with ours.

I don't mean just trips and fun times. I'm talking about things like helping my kids in school, playing with them, setting up guidelines and rules (and enforcing them), and just doing my best to ensure they end up being good human beings. I'm CONSTANTLY being told by people they wish their kids behaved like mine, its really rare I have any issues at all as far as them acting out or being bad. They go to bed at 8, they brush their teeth, they don't eat garbage, my youngest is 4 and knows all his letters and sounds, as well as being able to count to 100 (which is what the state wants 6-7 year old's to be at), while my 6 year old is reading (he's in kindergarten, he's not supposed to be able to read until end of 1st grade). And they aren't whiz kids or anything, its a lot of working with them. It's parenting. And I'm not at all hesitant to say that I'm very good at that. I take better care of them than I do myself, and that's just factual, so I do resent being called out as potentially not being a ideal parent, because holy shit is that off base.

I'm the god damn batman of dads.

Plus, I'm a big nerd, so I do like taking them on trips and just figuring out stuff to do at home. This is what we did the day I got back from the Renfair thing. Home made polka dot slime. Thank you internet for your endless supply of idea's.

a_skeleton_03_sl said:

I guess when I see posts about him breaking down and crying in the street after seeing his ex recently seriously. I guess when he is churning through women like he is I see that as the sign of a broken heart and him desperately trying to find some meaning. I guess when he posts that he just comes here to tell his stories and read the responses because he likes the attention as they cry for help and acceptance that it is. I guess I read people's posts and care. I know that doesn't fit into my persona since I am a religious person so I must hate him or something. I must look down on his behavior because he is having a "good time".

Click to expand...

And a_skeleton_03, just so you know, I can't ever remember reading a post of yours and thinking "fuck that guy" or anything. You come off as pessimistic and overly dramatic a lot of the time to me, but not hateful or anything. No worries.

As for the "Ohh we aren't allowed to tease Onoes?" stuff, that's not what I said. I expect good natured ribbing, even advice I might not agree with or want to hear. There have a been a lot of posts that have been nothing but "You piece of shit retarded fat stupid man child loser." and nothing else. When the responses that are like that outweigh the others, it's no fun. That's all I was saying.

Sidebar- The breaking down in the street thing is notable only because it's the first, and only, time I've ever done anything like that. I was definitely having a very rough night, and I choose to try to push past that and go do some new years eve drinking. It didn't help and I ended up feeling way more upset. Then, I ran into the girl who had just dumped me after a couple of the most amazing and fulfilling months in a relationship I had ever had. I did drunkenly confront her with a "tell me you love me, I don't understand, how can you say that and then just leave, just tell me you still love me" or something. It was pretty much the most embarrassing thing I've ever done. A friend then gave me a ride home and I broke into tears during that car ride. While it was a really shitty and awkward night, I'm still glad it happened, because I woke up the next day going "What am I doing? You need to get over this right now, that can not happen again." and I did, and it hasn't. Again, not a proud moment to be sure, but I learned from it and moved on. I don't feel like it should define my typical state of mind or normal behavior.

It's all fun and games until someones feelings get hurt

Being as open as you are on a forum filled with trolls, you're going to get some serious shit - and although we try to not allow trolling here, there are obvious people who fly under the radar. Most of my posts were good-natured, if a bit blunt and crass.

Anyways, I'll leave it alone if it is causing someone to not want to post here anymore.

Gavinmad_sl said:

Yeah if the mother of my daughter ever gets divorced I'm definitely not marrying her. Used goods.

Click to expand...

You're married? What the shit...

Phazael_sl said:

I am a cynical asshole, but I am not willing to stand by and watch some dude crater his life for my own personal amusement, much less encourage them to do it. If that's hard to understand and you want guys want to play enabler to someone in order to get your rocks off to their self inflicted wounds, then by all means wander over to the J49 thread or pretty much any thread Mist/Moon Bat/Dumar are posting in. My understanding is that this part of the forum is meant to be serious discussion and I treat it that way. You certainly won't see me agreeing with a_skeleton_03 in any other part of this forum, but I totally agree with him on this.

Click to expand...

There's a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the bible salesman gets in.