Marriage and the Power of Divorce

To me it sounds like they are doing different things on the weekend and she doesn't want to do that anymore now that she's pregnant and soon will have a kid. She probably wants you spending time with her and doesn't know how to ask so falls back on being a bitch.

Soygen_sl said:

We're only getting part of the story, of course. But every response to that part has been siding with his wife, which is the exact opposite of my reaction going solely on what he has provided. Her being pregnant doesn't give her carte blanche over what is now allowed as leisure activity. If he really isn't a douche when he's drinking and it's not ruining their weekend plans or anything like that, it's immature and selfishof herto force him to stop.

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And I'd say it is equally immature and selfish of him to refuse to stop. Maybe in the end they're both being immature but I generally side with the pregnant woman. She already has to deal with all the other issues of pregnancy she shouldn't have to deal with a husband digging his heels in on his weekend hobby. If she asked him to stop leaving the house to go golfing for 10 hours on Saturday I'd be in the same boat as well.

It sounds like he threw a baby in his wife but doesn't want to change his lifestyle. My cousin and her husband were both huge party animals throughout college and after they graduated but that all came to a screeching halt once my cousin got pregnant. Her husband still gets together with his old fraternity brothers every so often but now they all have kids so it is a few Millers while the kids play around at one of their houses.

Tenks_sl said:

And I'd say it is equally immature and selfish of him to refuse to stop. Maybe in the end they're both being immature but I generally side with the pregnant woman. She already has to deal with all the other issues of pregnancy she shouldn't have to deal with a husband digging his heels in on his weekend hobby. If she asked him to stop leaving the house to go golfing for 10 hours on Saturday I'd be in the same boat as well.

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I didn't get the impression that he is checking out all weekend. It sounds like he is still available, it isn't like he's throwing ragers on the weekend, he's having a couple of beers.

ZyyzYzzy_sl said:

It is sort of reidiculous on his part from what I have read, but that is just me. I'm a no life loser who doesn't do any hobbies until my toddler is in bed on the weekends.

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Is there a support group anywhere. Cause this is my life.


Anyway as long as there an equilibrium between the two ( that doesn't mean fair) in regards to work/household stuff. Then screw her attitude if things around the house get done and the bills get paid. Nobody else dictates your happiness except yourself. Even when you are married. Your wife needs to be happy with you for who you are. You need to be happy with who she is. Nagging or changing behavior is pointless and just causes distress.

I, personally, wouldn't drink a "case" of beer every weekend. Nothing around the house would be done. I play video games after the kids get to bed. I am not burning up the everquest when 2 small children are attempting to murder my wife. I work longer hours than my wife, but I still take care of everything I think I can do and still be in equilibrium with what my wife does around the house..which right now is the kids. I still do diapers, cooking, clothes, housework, outside work, etc ...if they need doing. I could give a shit as long as it all gets done. I am not buying a case of shit beer, melding my ass into a chair, and watching the game getting fatter everyday. That's not a great way to keep a house going.

Noodlemod_sl said:

To me it sounds like they are doing different things on the weekend and she doesn't want to do that anymore now that she's pregnant and soon will have a kid. She probably wants you spending time with her and doesn't know how to ask so falls back on being a bitch.

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Yeah, this is how I read the situation. It is probably less about the beer and more about something else bothering her. But instead of telling him her actual concern, she just rails him having a few drinks.

My suggestion, CJ, is to get to the bottom of the issue. Find out what is really bothering her and find a reasonable compromise. Which may include less drinking, but not total abstinence. And try to cut her some slack, being pregnant really fucks with things.

radditsu_sl said:

Is there a support group anywhere. Cause this is my life.


Anyway as long as there an equilibrium between the two ( that doesn't mean fair) in regards to work/household stuff. Then screw her attitude if things around the house get done and the bills get paid. Nobody else dictates your happiness except yourself. Even when you are married. Your wife needs to be happy with you for who you are. You need to be happy with who she is. Nagging or changing behavior is pointless and just causes distress.

I, personally, wouldn't drink a "case" of beer every weekend. Nothing around the house would be done. I play video games after the kids get to bed. I am not burning up the everquest when 2 small children are attempting to murder my wife. I work longer hours than my wife, but I still take care of everything I think I can do and still be in equilibrium with what my wife does around the house..which right now is the kids. I still do diapers, cooking, clothes, housework, outside work, etc ...if they need doing. I could give a shit as long as it all gets done. I am not buying a case of shit beer, melding my ass into a chair, and watching the game getting fatter everyday. That's not a great way to keep a house going.

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It was hilarious when my wife finally went back to work. She is just chilling on the couch and I'm like "Come on, we have to get the kids bathed and in bed" and she pulls "I just want to relax, I have been at work all day" at which point my fucking head exploded and I am typing this from beyond the grave. I know I did less house stuff a lot of the time when our kids were younger, but I still did a lot. So now we have this back and forth between her talking about how overworked she is and me telling her to sack the fuck up cause we're grown ups now.

chaos_sl said:

It was hilarious when my wife finally went back to work. She is just chilling on the couch and I'm like "Come on, we have to get the kids bathed and in bed" and she pulls "I just want to relax, I have been at work all day" at which point my fucking head exploded and I am typing this from beyond the grave. I know I did less house stuff a lot of the time when our kids were younger, but I still did a lot. So now we have this back and forth between her talking about how overworked she is and me telling her to sack the fuck up cause we're grown ups now.

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I love the response "I'm tired, I worked all day!" Bitch what the fuck do you think I did for 10 hours today? Played with my dick?

Sutekh_sl said:

I love the response "I'm tired, I worked all day!" Bitch what the fuck do you think I did for 10 hours today? Played with my dick?

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Browse various incarnations of former MMO-guild internet forums?

I don't get paid enough to argue with you retards all day!

chaos_sl said:

It was hilarious when my wife finally went back to work. She is just chilling on the couch and I'm like "Come on, we have to get the kids bathed and in bed" and she pulls "I just want to relax, I have been at work all day" at which point my fucking head exploded and I am typing this from beyond the grave. I know I did less house stuff a lot of the time when our kids were younger, but I still did a lot. So now we have this back and forth between her talking about how overworked she is and me telling her to sack the fuck up cause we're grown ups now.

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It sometimes is really difficult to express the fact to my wife to "sack the fuck up" and get it done. But she has a useful perk of If i start doing shit she feels bad and starts doing shit.

Yeah I wish I knew how to do that. If I start doing shit my wife just goes "oh good, he's doing it."

Sutekh_sl said:

I love the response "I'm tired, I worked all day!" Bitch what the fuck do you think I did for 10 hours today? Played with my dick?

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To be fair, that is a reasonable assumption when dealing with you.


My wife and I have these same issues, just like every couple. I don't work all that much, but when I do, it goes in intense bursts that can be very all-consuming for me, and I just want to crash when I'm not working. My wife works, too, and her work is also very demanding. Throw in a bunch of kids, and figure out who does what. It can be shitty, and we can get snarley with each other, but kids still have to do homework, practice instruments, get driven to practice, eat, be dressed, and so forth. So, there are things that we have merely started to assume with each other - I do laundry on Mondays and Thursdays. Always. The kids help me fold it. I do the bulk of the cooking, because I like it. My hours are generally more flexible than my wife's, so I end up spending more time with the kids over all. She does almost all of the cleaning. She does everything she's able to, given her time.

This is an adult relationship. Shit's going to get uncomfortable from time to time, but that's where communication helps. And if you decide to bring kids into your relationship, you better be willing to alter your routine. If not, you're a fuckwit, and you should have kids. It really is that simple.