Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
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I'd think software [insert title] is thought of as a pretty prestigious job these days. I wonder if there is some hard data on what Americans view as the most prestigious jobs. I'd imagine engineering has to be up there.
Khane
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Sounds like you got a little lucky but you know exactly what I'm talking about (the frustrations of dating much younger women). I can't even count how many dates I've been on over the past 3.5 years, and that is not something I am proud of or bragging about. I would be happy never having to go on another first date again. I'm just... tired of it all. Completely disenchanted.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Pffft... you think I want you fuckers in my family? Then I'd have to buy you presents.
Khane
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This is an interesting point. In Seattle? It's probably something women are tired of hearing about, in the northeast? It's the same as well as certain other burgeoning software markets like Colorado and Austin TX. I've had more than one woman say "I wasn't sure about dating another software computer guy but you're a lot different than what I expected". I'm 100% certain I've been turned down by women based on my profession just because of remarks like that. I'm a dime a dozen around here.
Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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My situation is similar to Khanes. I'm easily in the top 5% as well, and though I honestly don't care how much my potential mate earns, I do want her to be career driven and ambitious. I REFUSE to date any woman that wants to do the whole "married with early retirement and take care of kids" lifestyle, and generally the women that don't want to be stay at home moms are the wealthier ones that invested heavily in their education/career, and don't want to flush it all down the toilet over changing diapers. However the problem is that most of these woman want 6"2" Captain Coolio..
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I don't do presents, even for my actual family. I'd just build an extra spot in my gaming room for you and more slots in the wine rack for the women. That's a win/win situation man.
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Waste management engineer.
Khane, you've got an awfully lot of "but..." responses. My impression is that this conundrum is partially of your own creation. What you want is out there, just gotta drop some of your needs. That might mean dating a daycare teacher. Which, I don't think is inherently a bad career. Maybe just full of a lot of unambitious workers(which is a MUCH larger unrelated discussion).
Khane, you've got an awfully lot of "but..." responses. My impression is that this conundrum is partially of your own creation. What you want is out there, just gotta drop some of your needs. That might mean dating a daycare teacher. Which, I don't think is inherently a bad career. Maybe just full of a lot of unambitious workers(which is a MUCH larger unrelated discussion).
I always liked first dates even if they didn't work out well. I'm not a very social person in large groups but can do well 1-on-1 so it allowed me to be easily social. I'm not saying they all went swimmingly and it took me a longlongtime to figure out what I was looking for in a woman. I'm not going to argue I got fairly lucky. My wife was on PoF for like a week or so before meeting me and pretty rapidly took her profile down after we dated a few times. She's a great woman but also knew exactly what she was looking for as well and the fact that I didn't present myself as "hey wan sum fuk?" certainly helped out my chances. That isn't to say she isn't flawed but usually finding an optimal partner is knowing what is important for you in a spouse and knowing what you can live with as well.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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Since you are super anti-anecdote, I'll back you up with one: a guy I collaborated with left a research lab for Google and his salary literally went up 3x or more. He told me what he was making at the lab and it was a goddamn embarrassment.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I can't really argue with you DW. It's a point of contention even with myself about how much I might be self sabotaging. But I am entirely too stubborn to make changes that I feel would equate to "settling".
Cad
scientia potentia est
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Honestly, do I discount how much height matters? When I read this I was like like, hey I'm 6'2.. but having never been shorter since I was 14-15, is this really a big deal? Do short guys envy taller guys that much? Does being tall make my life that much easier?
Khane
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Well, yes. It does. But I think you know that. Attractive people have an easier time in life.
Cad
scientia potentia est
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I guess when I look at a dude the first thing I look at isn't height. There are some fantastically good looking dudes that are 5'9 or whatever.
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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This kind of talk makes me glad that I realized that money isn't everything a long god damn time ago and have been a minimalist in terms of shit like that for years. I probably spend 30-40% tops of what I make a year.
But I am the outlier in this regard. Perhaps now I can secure my lifestyle of choice (6 month contract IT work, 6 months work I want to do) in the next few years.
But I am the outlier in this regard. Perhaps now I can secure my lifestyle of choice (6 month contract IT work, 6 months work I want to do) in the next few years.
DickTrickle
Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
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I'm not super anti-anecdote. I even said "Of course, at the end of the day, it's hard to ignore one's own personal anecdotes especially when it comes to relationships, whether they hold true to reality or not, so I can only judge people so much for it." I just think people should better accept that their anecdotal experiences are not as absolute as they might think and thus not be so closed off.
However, that anecdote doesn't surprise me. Government doesn't pay well except for maybe the low tier jobs. However, the government does fund research that a lot of private business would not. So you can't always have your cake and eat it too.
Khane
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5'9" isn't exactly struggling either though. I'm 5'10", and generally have an easy time with people.
But let me put it this way. At 5'10" I have to be witty and personable to be as successful as I am with women. At 6'2" I could probably just sit against a wall with a beer in my hand and never have to initiate conversation at all.
DickTrickle
Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler
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When I was on dating sites, I saw numerous mentions of height being a deal-breaker (often in the form of you must be taller than me, though sometimes it was just you must be at least X height). And I think the people I was looking at are a little less likely to be predisposed to that, so it's probably more pronounced than that.
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I spend even less than 40% of what I make every year. I am very fiscally responsible. The problem though, for me and most other "wealthy" men who have been taken advantage of, is that women expect you to spend on them otherwise you are "cheap". You should see the difference in attitude of women when they finally find out how successful I am. They go from being perfectly happy hiking and cooking together to wanting to check out the 5 course farm to table $300 per person bullshit meal at the hottest local restaurant this weekend.