Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Khane_sl said:
5'9" isn't exactly struggling either though. I'm 5'10", and generally have an easy time with people.

But let me put it this way. At 5'10" I have to be witty and personable to be as successful as I am with women. At 6'2" I could probably just sit against a wall with a beer in my hand and never have to initiate conversation at all.
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Thats not really true, I mean I go to social events and I still have to approach a woman if I want to talk to her. Only time women throw themselves at me is at strip clubs or when I take my 22 month old to elementary school and then the moms dogpile...

Maybe results would be better when you approach the woman if you're taller? I guess I see that as a secondary factor to looks and fitness and style, not just like "holy fuck that guy is 6'1, I need the D!" .. it's more like, given 2 equally attractive guys, both well dressed, both in good shape, and both friendly, the somewhat taller one might be more attractive. But I think the first 3 factors override height until you get like 5'7 and below where a lot of chicks would actually be taller than you.
 
Khane

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Cad_sl said:
Thats not really true, I mean I go to social events and I still have to approach a woman if I want to talk to her. Only time women throw themselves at me is at strip clubs or when I take my 22 month old to elementary school and then the moms dogpile...

Maybe results would be better when you approach the woman if you're taller? I guess I see that as a secondary factor to looks and fitness and style, not just like "holy fuck that guy is 6'1, I need the D!" .. it's more like, given 2 equally attractive guys, both well dressed, both in good shape, and both friendly, the somewhat taller one might be more attractive. But I think the first 3 factors override height until you get like 5'7 and below where a lot of chicks would actually be taller than you.
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I'm slightly exaggerating. And the reason I do that is because my 6'2" friend who is absolutely TERRIBLE with women still gets approached constantly whereas I (and I am arguable just as attractive as he is) almost never do. Actually, this conversation has opened my eyes. I need to start hanging out with dudes who are 5'6" instead of dudes who are 6'2". WTF am I thinking?
 
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Khane_sl said:
I'm slightly exaggerating. And the reason I do that is because my 6'2" friend who is absolutely TERRIBLE with women still gets approached constantly whereas I (and I am arguable just as attractive as he is) almost never do. Actually, this conversation has opened my eyes. I need to start hanging out with dudes who are 5'6" instead of dudes who are 6'2". WTF am I thinking?
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Haha I dunno, maybe I just put off a "fuck you" aura, or maybe its the wedding ring...
 
Khane

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The wedding ring would probably make you more approachable. Not joking.
 
Frenzied Wombat

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I'm 5'8" and my height is the number one reason given by chicks online for "not interested". It's also probably the number one criteria women put in their profiles, even if they're fucking 5'2". Years ago I changed my height to 6'2" just to see what happened and I got inundated with winks and emails. I think there was some OKcupid study at one point that analyzed money/height in regards to female on-line dating interest, and basically it revealed that it took an extra $30,000 in annual income to effectively "buy yourself an inch in height" when it came to equivalent female interest.
 
TJT

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Khane_sl said:
I spend even less than 40% of what I make every year. I am very fiscally responsible. The problem though, for me and most other "wealthy" men who have been taken advantage of, is that women expect you to spend on them otherwise you are "cheap". You should see the difference in attitude of women when they finally find out how successful I am. They go from being perfectly happy hiking and cooking together to wanting to check out the 5 course farm to table $300 per person bullshit meal at the hottest local restaurant this weekend.
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I had never run into this problem. But I have not dated since I started making actual money. So we'll see in the next few months. I think you're a bit older than me (I'm 28)? Maybe I'll experience something similar. Despite my singular expensive hobby and soon to be moonlight job, have basically nothing and I like to keep it that way. Austin seems to be pretty accepting of this kind of attitude though so who knows.

I'll get back to you in a few months on this topic I guess! I'm also 6'3 so yeah, stacked deck and all that.
 
Soygen

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Looks, fitness and style can be improved upon in almost every way. Height is height. I'm very thankful I'm tall (enough) at 6'. Hearing my sisters hate on short guys makes me sympathize for them.
 
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Cad_sl said:
Maybe results would be better when you approach the woman if you're taller? I guess I see that as a secondary factor to looks and fitness and style, not just like "holy fuck that guy is 6'1, I need the D!" .. it's more like, given 2 equally attractive guys, both well dressed, both in good shape, and both friendly, the somewhat taller one might be more attractive. But I think the first 3 factors override height until you get like 5'7 and below where a lot of chicks would actually be taller than you.
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It's more pronounced than that. Many women on dating sites will literally have a "you must be this tall to ride" clause in their profile. I do feel bad for shorter than average guys.
 
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Khane it's great to have standards dude, but you need to chillax! When we talk about women wanting a 6'2, buff guy, who makes six figures, but isn't into himself, and is home by 5:00pm every night to help with the kids we all laugh it off because we know it's not realistic. Yet you sound like you want a 5'10 chick who looks super good, is extremely intelligent, makes six figures, and yet comes home to nourish your every need. That's just not going to happen.
 
Frenzied Wombat

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Soygen_sl said:
Looks, fitness and style can be improved upon in almost every way. Height is height. I'm very thankful I'm tall (enough) at 6'. Hearing my sisters hate on short guys makes me sympathize for them.
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Yeah, I heard it all the time from my sisters as well, in addition to random chicks that seem oblivious to just how insulting it is. I got into an argument with a few chicks over lunch about exactly this a few months back. One was recounting a bad date and her first complaint was that he was too short. I brought up how I found it amusing that women have zero qualms about stating height requirements, but if a guy put down in his profile "C cup or larger only please" he would be branded a fucking pig.
 
Khane

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Ortega_sl said:
Khane it's great to have standards dude, but you need to chillax! When we talk about women wanting a 6'2, buff guy, who makes six figures, but isn't into himself, and is home by 5:00pm every night to help with the kids we all laugh it off because we know it's not realistic. Yet you sound like you want a 5'10 chick who looks super good, is extremely intelligent, makes six figures, and yet comes home to nourish your every need. That's just not going to happen.
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I'm not sure where I gave the impression that I want a woman to "nourish my every need". I am very independent and I appreciate a woman who is independent also. If she only wants to hang out one night a week that's perfectly acceptable and cool with me. But I do expect her to be ambitious and successful.

I am physically attractive, make six figures, and am extremely intelligent. Why shouldn't I expect the same from my partner? When I talk about equality for the sexes I am talking about pure, unadulterated equality. Most women (and apparently most men too) can't handle that.
 
Jysin

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I travel around the world and often frequent the Tinder circuit when bored. The strangest thing I have noticed is that in the UK, it is pretty much 100% standard to list your height in your Tinder profile. I have never seen that anywhere else. So yes, some people put a hell of a lot of focus on height before giving anything else consideration.

Pretty weird mindset to me.
 
Khane

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Jysin_sl said:
I travel around the world and often frequent the Tinder circuit when bored. The strangest thing I have noticed is that in the UK, it is pretty much 100% standard to list your height in your Tinder profile. I have never seen that anywhere else. So yes, some people put a hell of a lot of focus on height before giving anything else consideration.

Pretty weird mindset to me.
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It's not really weird at all. Tinder is based almost solely on physical attraction. Height is a part of that.

Us men like to complain about height standards placed on us by women but I'd be lying if I didn't say I don't swipe left on women who say they're over 5'6". I like petite women. Women like men who can "handle" them. Such is life.

The one thing I find comical though is women who are 5'1" claiming they need a man who is at least 6'. That's just selfish. Give the 6' men to the 5'8" + women that the other men don't want. Go for the 5'4" guy who can't get a date even though he's a full 3" taller than you!
 
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Soygen_sl said:
Looks, fitness and style can be improved upon in almost every way. Height is height. I'm very thankful I'm tall (enough) at 6'. Hearing my sisters hate on short guys makes me sympathize for them.
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My wife is 5'2" and says I'm about the bottom limit she'd date at 5'10". Height is pretty much a deal breaker for a vast majority of women. Shit just go to /r/short on reddit and hear about how much short dudes hate their life.
 
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Khane_sl said:
I'm not sure where I gave the impression that I want a woman to "nourish my every need". I am very independent and I appreciate a woman who is independent also. If she only wants to hang out one night a week that's perfectly acceptable and cool with me. But I do expect her to be ambitious and successful.

I am physically attractive, make six figures, and am extremely intelligent. Why shouldn't I expect the same from my partner? When I talk about equality for the sexes I am talking about pure, unadulterated equality. Most women (and apparently most men too) can't handle that.
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I'm not going to make a long post filled with conjecture, but you really sound just like my buddy. He says the exact same shit as you, and yet he forgets independence goes both ways. If he wants to hang out then they are being selfish by not making time for him, if they want to hang out and he's busy then they are needy and need to entertain themselves. Seeing someone more than once a week is requisite for any real relationship. If you are really telling women that you're fine with seeing them once a week and aren't exhibiting the behaviors I mentioned above then you are likely pushing them away by not showing a commitment. I can tell you right now having someone to come home to, talk to, and have fun with that you trust is 99% of the relationship. You make plenty of money so it's not going to influence your happiness in the least to have a mate who does as well. Again I'm glad you have standards it's far better than fucking every fatty you see at the club and acting like you're a player, but no matter how great looking, intelligent, and well off you may be that shit will fade extremely fast when you are old and lonely.
 
opiate82

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Frenzied Wombat_sl said:
My situation is similar to Khanes. I'm easily in the top 5% as well, and though I honestly don't care how much my potential mate earns, I do want her to be career driven and ambitious. I REFUSE to date any woman that wants to do the whole "married with early retirement and take care of kids" lifestyle, and generally the women that don't want to be stay at home moms are the wealthier ones that invested heavily in their education/career, and don't want to flush it all down the toilet over changing diapers. However the problem is that most of these woman want 6"2" Captain Coolio..
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Do you want kids?

I understand wanting the whole career driven and ambitious type of woman, but if you want kids I don't see the problem with a parent devoting themselves to taking care of the kids. Who the fuck do you want raising your kids, daycare?

(If you don't want kids feel free to move on).
 
Tarrant

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So while at work today I started talking to my boss about the whole "going to bed at the same time as your wife" thing, when I asked him he just looked at the floor and mumbled that he did while a look of shame crossed his face.

Haha, wtf man.
 
Frenzied Wombat

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opiate82_sl said:
Do you want kids?

I understand wanting the whole career driven and ambitious type of woman, but if you want kids I don't see the problem with a parent devoting themselves to taking care of the kids. Who the fuck do you want raising your kids, daycare?

(If you don't want kids feel free to move on).
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Yes, I want a kid, though it's becoming less realistic by the day at my age (42 next month). I would be ok if she wanted to take a year off while it's a baby, but beyond that I would much prefer if we got a nanny or live-in maid to take care of the kids. Having grown up with two stay at home moms (mom and stepmom) nothing in this world will convince me that it leads to a stable and happy marriage, nor that it's a "job" that will make her happy. In fact, it was only once my mom got divorced and started her own business that she finally became happy and fulfilled. Every stay at home wife I know just bitches endlessly about her life-- no thanks. It's also a matter of risk aversion-- two salaries are safer than one. Two available health insurance providers is better than one. Shit happens, and I'd prefer not to be one pink slip away from financial ruin.
 
Khane

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Ortega_sl said:
I'm not going to make a long post filled with conjecture, but you really sound just like my buddy. He says the exact same shit as you, and yet he forgets independence goes both ways. If he wants to hang out then they are being selfish by not making time for him, if they want to hang out and he's busy then they are needy and need to entertain themselves. Seeing someone more than once a week is requisite for any real relationship. If you are really telling women that you're fine with seeing them once a week and aren't exhibiting the behaviors I mentioned above then you are likely pushing them away by not showing a commitment. I can tell you right now having someone to come home to, talk to, and have fun with that you trust is 99% of the relationship. You make plenty of money so it's not going to influence your happiness in the least to have a mate who does as well. Again I'm glad you have standards it's far better than fucking every fatty you see at the club and acting like you're a player, but no matter how great looking, intelligent, and well off you may be that shit will fade extremely fast when you are old and lonely.
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See that's the thing. It will absolutely influence and affect my happiness having a mate who understands where I am coming from financially. If she makes no money at all and is a stay at home mother but values the same things I do financially then that will work, if she makes 300k/year but is completely irresponsible with her money it won't. The problem is the vast majority of Americans (not just women) live to work and not the other way around. The more money they make the more money they spend. I am not like that nor am I cool with it. So a woman who is fiscally irresponsible is an immediate no for me. Huge turnoff. I make it sound like how much money she makes is a deal breaker just because it's easier to convey how I feel that way. Mostly because women who don't make money aren't fiscally responsible simply because that's not what popular culture enforces (for the most part). I don't care if you don't like generalizations or social bias. You're being naive if you think those generalizations or bias don't come from an overwhelming majority of our society fitting neatly into them.
 
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