Marriage and the Power of Divorce

I've dated 3 girls before this one. So a total of 4 in 16 months. One of those was all of 3 dates because of distance. I had fun with crazy girl, but it never got serious, in fact, she ended it when I didn't "I love you" back.

The last one from Oct-Dec was serious, I thought that was going to be long term. She was the one who panicked and said we moved too fast and ended it.

This girl started end of Feb, so we are at 3 months now. It moved fast too, and it's not traditional I know, but she's easily the best girlfriend I've had up to this point. She's pretty, she's super smart, a little shy, and a big nerd.

She's currently playing Minecraft with my son. I'm a huge fan.

Also, the obligatory go fuck yourselves haters.

Someone asked how stuff was going, I said everythings been fantastic for months except for one small fight with the ex wife, and suddenly the sky is falling. Calm down guys. It's fine. Chill out.

See ya in 2 months Onoes!

Onoes_sl said:

I've dated 3 girls before this one. So a total of 4 in 16 months. One of those was all of 3 dates because of distance. I had fun with crazy girl, but it never got serious, in fact, she ended it when I didn't "I love you" back.

The last one from Oct-Dec was serious, I thought that was going to be long term. She was the one who panicked and said we moved too fast and ended it.

This girl started end of Feb, so we are at 3 months now. It moved fast too, and it's not traditional I know, but she's easily the best girlfriend I've had up to this point. She's pretty, she's super smart, a little shy, and a big nerd.

She's currently playing Minecraft with my son. I'm a huge fan.

Also, the obligatory go fuck yourselves haters.

Someone asked how stuff was going, I said everythings been fantastic for months except for one small fight with the ex wife, and suddenly the sky is falling. Calm down guys. It's fine. Chill out.

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Can I have your stuff when she kills you in your sleep and plays Minecraft with your son while wearing an Onoes mask?

And one more thing! lol

People going "You know how many people are comfortable or cool with an ex whatever? like 1 in 500" Here's what I did for Mothers Day.



Thats right. That's hand painted art on canvas. Hang that shit on your wall.

I did that for my ex fucking wife. And guess what, she'll do something like that for me, or at least she did last year.

And see where it says "Mom is my sunshine"? My brand new girlfriend wrote that, because my handwriting is shit, and she also has a degree in fine arts, before she got a degree in organizational studies, before she got a masters in business administration. She's totally a keeper, and she thinks I'm amazing, and as much as I would like to be modest and say "I don't know why", I feel like I'm a pretty amazing and fantastic guy. I get shit on a lot because I expect other people to behave like me, but so what? I pull up my bootstraps and keep on being awesome.

So, if you want to see just how fucking bizarre, honest, real, whatever I am, there is an example. I asked my brand new girlfriend to help me make a present, from my kids, to my ex wife, for Mothers Day.

I expect people to be kind to one another, to be rational adults, to be empathetic, to be BETTER. It doesn't always happen, fuck it rarely does, just look at you fucking lot, but I still live my life like that.

I know I've come here looking for advice before, but that's not what I'm doing right now. I'm in a good place and I was just sharing a story. I know you all want to shake the trees like a pack of wild apes, throwing your shit all over everything, but it's not needed. I get it, maybe my Ex is going to spin on a dime and take me to court and sue me and take everything and leave me a broken husk of a man.

But maybe not, maybe everything will just work out fine. God damn.

I don't think anyone would accuse you of not being a nice guy.

You may not have came here for advice, but nonetheless you did share a story and some of your gripes weren't quite as legit as you thought they were.

Onoes for President!

Big Phoenix_sl said:

Why are you posting pictures of your kids on this forum?

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Sure, someone on the internet might (insert fucked up thing here). But then again, maybe they won't. Quit being negative bro! People are generally good!

I think veiled behind the insults and general douchebaggery that we present is a strong sense of caring. I don't want to see you get shafted, and I'd seriously doubt anyone here does. Sure you aren't asking advice, but come on, you're on the Internet.

I'm mostly worried because people have been predicting your ex wife turning out shitty and there are a lot of red flags that we are worried about. I'd be perfectly happy if none of that happened, but I worry because you seem to not recognize the danger in a lot of your actions.

I can't speak out of personal experience, but I can tell you that 10 years after getting divorced my mother got really upset behind closed doors when my father started dating again and she met his girlfriend. Purely anecdotal and one sided for sure, but it's not unheard of.

Mostly just don't expect your ex-wife to be cool with your new slut.

To your ex-wife, that woman will always be "your new slut". She might not tell you this to your face, she's probably too decent to do it. But that's what it is. The divorce might have been amicable, but itwasa divorce. You didn't just break up with your steady and ask for your letter jacket back.

Jealousy is normal and the proper reaction. Don't push your babbymomma. If the new slut actually is a decent sort of person and it sticks, babbymomma will adapt to the situation in time. Her time.

I am one of your biggest lurker-fans, Onoes, but...

Onoes_sl said:

And see where it says "Mom is my sunshine"?My brand new girlfriend wrote that, because my handwriting is shit

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WTF? Women notice things like that. So - your ex, who demonstrably does not appreciate being around your girlfriend, is forced to either
a) hang a picture on the wall that will remind her EVERY FUCKING DAY about your new gf or
b) DON'T hang the picture, and hurt the boys

Nicely played.

Daelos_sl said:

I am one of your biggest lurker-fans, Onoes, but...



WTF? Women notice things like that. So - your ex, who demonstrably does not appreciate being around your girlfriend, is forced to either
a) hang a picture on the wall that will remind her EVERY FUCKING DAY about your new gf or
b) DON'T hang the picture, and hurt the boys

Nicely played.

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I thought it was delightfully sadistic. Passive aggressive one's is scary.

She has no idea who wrote that

Phazael_sl said:

All she has to say is that she felt pressured by you and you may as well wipe your ass with all that paperwork. You will lose half the value of your house and all the back support you have been not recording legally.

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He deserves a fair amount of criticism, but this is overblown I think. My understanding is more that she'd have to proved she wascoercedwhich isn't going to happen. If he has a real marital settlement agreement, or whatever its called in Arizona, then its a binding contract she entered into and can't just "my feeellsss" her way out of it later. Other than custody/child support, those can always be modified. I do wonder exactly what kind of court "paperwork" he has though and what exactly it says but he hasn't really made it clear.

If the court definitely awarded him the house I'd think he's safe but it could still cause him needless hassles down the road. If there's any ambiguity (didn't he say he kind of just filed the paperwork himself with no lawyer and it was almost like a handshake deal with the wife since she didn't want to be on the books for certain shit to get subsidized housing?) then the house thing is a real fucking problem. If you don't have a hard and fast contract saying she gave up all rights to the house, and she's still on the deed, she can come back any time she wants and demand half the equity. Like force you to come up with the money now and/or sell.

Regardless you'd have to probably get her involved and signing off on shit to do anything with the house in those scenarios, which would suck ass years later trying to sell your house and now your ex-wife has to come to settlement and shit. I'll take your word that its legit, but knowing you nothing would surprise me.

Are you worried about needing mortgage insurance on a new loan because the house is underwater?

Famm_sl said:

If the court definitely awarded him the house I'd think he's safe but it could still cause him needless hassles down the road. If there's any ambiguity (didn't he say he kind of just filed the paperwork himself with no lawyer and it was almost like a handshake deal with the wife since she didn't want to be on the books for certain shit to get subsidized housing?) then the house thing is a real fucking problem. If you don't have a hard and fast contract saying she gave up all rights to the house, and she's still on the deed, she can come back any time she wants and demand half the equity. Like force you to come up with the money now and/or sell.

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This. We aren't telling him anything different than a lawyer or even a listing real estate agent would tell him: un-fuck you house paperwork. There should be absolutely no ambiguity. In TX at least, there would be a limited power of attorney signed and notarized by your ex saying she gives up all rights to the house. Otherwise, she is still technically a part owner and that will at least force her to come in & sign everything, including the final disbursement check you need to deposit. Do you really want her staring at tens of thousands of dollars wondering why she is signing it all over to you when she is hard up for $$? That sounds awkward as fuck. Get it fucking fixed!

You couldn't even get her to show up to a bank for 10 minutes and sign herself off a mutual CC. And you want that headache when the HOUSE goes up for sale? A wise listing agent would tell you they aren't touching the listing until you get your paperwork in order.

This isn't a long or costly thing to accomplish. Get it done.

Onoes_sl said:

She has no idea who wrote that

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Daelos_sl said:

WTF? Women notice things like that. So - your ex, who demonstrably does not appreciate being around your girlfriend, is forced to either
a) hang a picture on the wall that will remind her EVERY FUCKING DAY about your new gf or
b) DON'T hang the picture, and hurt the boys

Nicely played.

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I would have to give Onoes major props if he were that Machiavellian, but I think we all know that isn't the case.

Onoes_sl said:

She has no idea who wrote that

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How could she not know......

You did not do it, the kids did not do it...who in the house is left?

Remember how na?ve you where about the car purchase? You are doing it again.