Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Marriage and the Power of Divorce
- Thread starter Grumpus
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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It's time to sit back and play the long game I guess. Can't help a guy that doesn't see reason
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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Bros, I have a question: what I thought earlier on was my GF's enthusiasm for our relationship has started to feel a lot more like smothering co-dependence lately. Is there a graceful way to discuss this matter with her? The conversation ideas I've thought through so far sound harsh. But the conversation needs to happen.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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It's risk mitigation. Lending you 100 dollars is more risk than lending you 80 dollars. Is it a scam? Maybe. Can you tell the bank to fuck off with it? Not really.
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Any specific examples? Like you can't go out with friends or she will be texting you non stop? Just generally needy for affection all the time?
iannis
Musty Nester
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There's no real graceful way to say, "Dial it back about two notches. You won. It's ok. Calm the fuck down!"
She probably won't even be able to. That's assuming that she knows what you're even talking about. It is entirely possible that she justwon't get it. I only say it because I've known a few girls, and they were smart girls, but when it came to something like this it's like... you might as well not even be saying anything in english. It's not that they play dumb. It's that it's something so basic to a personality that you might as well be telling them they need to breathe less for all the sense it's going to make. If she's one of those... well, I mean. It'll take time. And if you tough it out you'll probably wind up missing it. "Hey, remember when you used to be insane? What ever happened to that. It was kinda nice, now that I think about it."
Oh. Play that Grateful Dead song over and over and over and over again for a few days. "You're my woman now, make yourself easy." That might work.
She probably won't even be able to. That's assuming that she knows what you're even talking about. It is entirely possible that she justwon't get it. I only say it because I've known a few girls, and they were smart girls, but when it came to something like this it's like... you might as well not even be saying anything in english. It's not that they play dumb. It's that it's something so basic to a personality that you might as well be telling them they need to breathe less for all the sense it's going to make. If she's one of those... well, I mean. It'll take time. And if you tough it out you'll probably wind up missing it. "Hey, remember when you used to be insane? What ever happened to that. It was kinda nice, now that I think about it."
Oh. Play that Grateful Dead song over and over and over and over again for a few days. "You're my woman now, make yourself easy." That might work.
radditsu
Silver Knight of the Realm
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There is no way a human male can pop that crazy cork and expect it to not cause an issue. The only thing i can think of is an asymmetric assault. If you think this thing is going to last look at her in the eye, say manly things such as "woman, I am your man, you are my woman, you do not have anything to worry about." Then lay her. You must do it in a burly lumberjack voice. Beard is a plus.
Sit down conversations for this particular facet in the man/woman relationship are not going to end well..and only exacerbate the situation. You are scratching a mosquito bite and will only create an infection of hurt feelings and paranoia.
I married a girl thinking it would stop crazy one time. I am now divorced from that individual.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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She just wants to spend an overwhelming amount of time together, and will go to impractical lengths, often against my wishes, to make it happen.
For instance, she lives in town, I live in a burb. She has an in-town bachelorette party with her friends Saturday. They will be out late. She is already visiting me before she goes. She could drive 10 minutes to her in-town apartment at 2AM, get some sleep and visit the next day if she wants; or she could drive 40+ minutes out to my house, where I will definitely be asleep and give no shits about her being there. She is completely adamant that she drives back out to my place, even after I said her making a long drive late at night for no reason makes me uncomfortable and asked her to reconsider. And this is not an isolated incident.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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I accidentally did that too, and don't wish to repeat it. Hence, this problem either gets dealt with or the relationship ends.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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Haha, that is what I would like her to understand. I thought she would ease up over time, and I'm not seeing it. Guess I have to broach it and see what happens, knowing it may go south quickly, or just deal with it. But I don't think dealing with it is sustainable.
Haast
Lord Nagafen Raider
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LOL, so far she has lacked the obsessive psychosis of the bush pooper. But who knows, maybe you guys are in for a treat.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Just be straight up that you need to have time to yourself and your own hobbies/activities. Her wanting to come over while you're asleep doesn't really seem that big a deal. What about when you're awake? What are some examples of you wanting space while you're awake? If the relationship is still relatively young and you're feeling cramped, you might just not be that into it.
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Did she come over to be taken to pound town or did she just come over for like hanging out or something?
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Well, it could be worth it if the relationship grows into a deep and rewarding one and you have a loyal devoted girlfriend who never wants to lose you. The reality is probably more likely that eventually the new car smell wears off and this clingyness turns dark and jealous, leading to insane fits of anger and/or manic depressive female hysteria.
So...keep posting, we want to hear all about the latter!
So...keep posting, we want to hear all about the latter!
Noodleface
A Mod Real Quick
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Imagine the hilarity that would ensue if Onoes girlfriend went on his computer and found this thread