Marriage and the Power of Divorce

I'm surprised that people were confused as to why I would marry my wife after she blew up when I called her clingy. For the majority of people here is 1 argument = game over? Oh wait, I forgot who I am talking to.. Costanzas.

Every single member of her family is absolutely retarded, I'll give you that

Famm_sl said:

Haast, new tactic. Tell her "look you clingy cunt, you are acting just like your mother and I need you to be more like your hot sister, ok?" She'll understand.

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It is odd how much women hate being said they're acting like their mother. My wife bitches relentlessly about her mom yet does the same shit she complains about all the time. I called her out on it once and things did not end well for me.

"You talk too much", "I'm trying to watch the news", or "you've spent one hour describing an event that actually only took place over the course of five minutes" are all lines that have brought out the Crazy in my experience. Then you double down and tell them to stop acting crazy-- you were just trying to tell them that you cant provide unwavering attention to some work drama soliloquy that takes thirty minutes to recite. Now you've got a full blown drama filled evening typically focused on how you don't care about her.

Single best advice I ever got from my Dad, "Son, you do not have to fix most of the things women complain about, but you have to empathize." I asked him how to empathize, he told me "Fuck if I know, I just nod and fake it."

Phazael_sl said:

Yeah and everything you described about her family laid the groundwork for your wife to be double extra strength coo coo for coa-coa puffs down the road. Khane is the only guy here with an itchy trigger finger, I think. Most of the rest of us have the opposite problem.

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I guess you are willfully ignoring the, at least 3 other people, who are saying the exact same thing I am.

I sympathize with most of Khane's viewpoints, though most of my "itchy trigger finger" tendencies are birthed from a childhood that had three nasty divorces before I turned 18.

I don't have an itchy trigger finger. I just don't see the point in trying to talk someone out of being who they are. If their natural tendencies annoy you, move on. We aren't talking about someone squeezing the toothpaste from the center here, we're talking about focal points of someone's personality.

Khane_sl said:

I don't have an itchy trigger finger. I just don't see the point in trying to talk someone out of being who they are. If their natural tendencies annoy you, move on. We aren't talking about someone squeezing the toothpaste from the center here, we're talking about focal points of someone's personality.

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"Itchy trigger finger" isn't and wouldn't be exactly the way I would describe it either, but I agree with you on this point. If you're dating in your 30's onwards there are certain patterns of behavior that can't be changed, and even seemingly minor incompatibilities can potentially represent a greater problem than one would initially surmise. For instance, I dated a chick for a few weeks recently where we shared a ton of common values/interests/beliefs, but she's a social butterfly that loves big dinners, parties, concerts, and going out. I mostly hate parties and large social events, yet she made it clear that she would expect me to attend most of them with her. Despite all the other things that clicked, I knew this would inevitably be a recipe for disaster. Realistic appraisal of the situation, Itchy trigger finger, or lack of flexibility/compromise on my part? No doubt, depending on the individual questioned all these answers could be correct.

You definitely get less flexible as you get older, but probably not for the reasons one would initially think.. When I was 20 I would overlook pretty much anything to get laid or have a cute girlfriend. At 42, the dick no longer controls the brain, and I'm far less willing to compromise on the things I like to do simply to be in a relationship.

I used to have nightmare with my wife and being to overbearing and just not trusting me, if ever I had a night out planned with my mates she would cause a massive argument the night before over something trivial just to put me in a bad mood. She would phone me/text me all the time if I was out.

It is not easy but overtime if you just talk to them and let them know it is not acceptable or normal to act like they are and they will lose you if they carry on then if they love you they will change, it took my wife over a year to really "get it" and now she looks back at it and admits herself she was crazy, don't get me wrong she still has her moments but that is just the way she is and I knew that before getting married to her but she is much better now. She is in Egypt at the moment with her friend and I have the kids, at the end of June I am off to a beer festival in Belgium for the weekend, 1 year ago that would never had happened now we enjoy each other?s company a lot more because we know that have a separate life outside of the wedding bubble is just as important in order to have a healthy marriage

Khane_sl said:

I don't have an itchy trigger finger. I just don't see the point in trying to talk someone out of being who they are. If their natural tendencies annoy you, move on. We aren't talking about someone squeezing the toothpaste from the center here, we're talking about focal points of someone's personality.

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Jimmies rustled. Squeezing toothpaste from center. Roll that up darn it. Oops, wrong thread.

Hoss_sl said:

If she talks too much, stick your dick in her mouth to shut her up. Problem solved. Worked for me. In fact, my wife says the first time I did that and she didn't bite it off was the moment she knew she loved me.

We're going on 4 years now and never had a fight, BTW.

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I was with my ex for about 23 years, it will come and when it does, good luck with that. Moohahahahaha

Haast_sl said:

Yeah, this is sound. I just hope I can convey the message in a broader sense. Maybe a nice way of saying "chill the fuck out".

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"You know how puppies can get annoying when they keep trying to get attention? It's worse when you do it."

Have you considered fighting fire with fire Haast? Just one up her neediness. Go even further than she does to spend time together. Suffocate the shit out of her. Beat her at her own game!

Khane_sl said:

Have you considered fighting fire with fire Haast? Just one up her neediness. Go even further than she does to spend time together. Suffocate the shit out of her. Beat her at her own game!

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Good call! BRB, going to poop in her bushes.

Make sure she sees you.