Marriage and the Power of Divorce

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Alex

Alex

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Tenks_sl said:
I feels a bit weird to me that only a few months after you both officially split you're both in sexual relationships with other partners. I guess I can't really say exactly what I'd do if my wife and I broke up but I'd imagine I'd have a hard time even talking to anyone for a bit but then I also understand the need for validation. So I guess maybe I don't know if it is weird at all or not. It just seems from this thread every rebound strange just leads to regret.
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Everyone gives him shit, but seems like things are going aight for Onoes. And it's not like most new sexual partners will be perfect models for a new relationship. And most people aren't even looking for that at that point.

And a few months seems like plenty of time. How long must someone stay celibate after a relationship has ended?
 
Gavinmad

Gavinmad

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Tenks_sl said:
I feels a bit weird to me that only a few months after you both officially split you're both in sexual relationships with other partners. I guess I can't really say exactly what I'd do if my wife and I broke up but I'd imagine I'd have a hard time even talking to anyone for a bit but then I also understand the need for validation. So I guess maybe I don't know if it is weird at all or not. It just seems from this thread every rebound strange just leads to regret.
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Well the problem is that you're imagining getting divorced tomorrow. Instead you should imagine getting divorced after several months of gradually increasing estrangement.
 
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T

Tenks

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Alex_sl said:
And a few months seems like plenty of time. How long must someone stay celibate after a relationship has ended?
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You're acting like marriage is some Tinder girl breaking up with you after dating for a few months. There is generally a substantial emotional investment. It would be better to get your head in the right place before entering a new relationship, IMO. It sounds like Tarrant and this new chick have different expectations where he just wanted to nut and she wanted to run away to Las Vegas.

Well the problem is that you're imagining getting divorced tomorrow. Instead you should imagine getting divorced after several months of gradually increasing estrangement.
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Thats true. I think Tarrant said that his wife and he weren't intimate for a few months before even officially breaking up. So I guess they've been "over" for like 6 months now?
 
Noodleface

Noodleface

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Put yourself in Tarrant's shoes. His wife has been distant for a long time, even angry. Probably haven't had real sex in quite awhile. He decides to break it off with her, sees she's looking at other dudes, and figures it would probably feel good to lay some pipe himself. At least that's how I'd feel.

I think his emotional investment in his marriage has been dwindling for quite some time.

I wouldn't want to date anyone for awhile though, that's for sure.
 
Soygen

Soygen

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Just by virtue of Tarrant saying he's still in love with his wife, it's a bad idea to be dating anyone right now. Get a hooker if it's about getting laid. The last thing you need in that situation is drama from a second woman.
 
Hoss

Hoss

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Tenks_sl said:
You're acting like marriage is some Tinder girl breaking up with you after dating for a few months.
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It was a few months after the split. Are you saying you'd take 3 months to recover from breaking up with a tinder girl? Not judging just asking for science.

Soygen_sl said:
Just by virtue of Tarrant saying he's still in love with his wife, it's a bad idea to be dating anyone right now. Get a hooker if it's about getting laid. The last thing you need in that situation is drama from a second woman.
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Sounds like he basically found himself a free hooker. What the problem is?
 
T

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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Hoss_sl said:
It was a few months after the split. Are you saying you'd take 3 months to recover from breaking up with a tinder girl? Not judging just asking for science.
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I don't see how you would draw that conclusion from what I said. I was saying this wasn't some meaningless chick he broke up with. I mean he was married to her for like 5 years or something. I am pretty sure they got married when FoH was still kicking in the GWBYHT.
 
Dioblaire

Dioblaire

And now my Watch has ended...
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Haast_sl said:
Based on the few things you've told us, she may be bipolar or borderline. I'm not a psychologist, I just play one on the internet. Regardless, cutting ties early was a good call.

If you insist on sticking your dick in crazy more, make sure you wrap it up. Crazy gets pregnant to save the week old relationship.



We have a thread for that.Post away and link here.
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Very well, lol.Rerolled
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Wife and I been together about 6 years, I'll always have some sort of love for her, she's the mother of my son. I may be odd but that's just how I feel about it.

Our marriage has been over for a long time, Noodle and Gav sort of grasped this it seems. We haven't had sex in about 4 months, haven't slept in the same room in three years, and honestly we've both probably been miserable for a long time. Our divorce isn't something that came out of no where and my emotional vestment in it at this point is minimal to none. Right now when I see her, I feel more sadness than anything else, which I believe is fully a natural thing.

This other girl, I'm not dating her. We've been talking on and off for awhile, I went to her place and then left. She's never seen my kids and when I'm ready to date full time again in the future (because no, I'm not ready for that) that person won't see my kids for a long time. Going forward, after what the soon to be ex wife said to my other two kids and how she treated them, I'm going to be over protective of them. No one will be seeing them until I am absolutely sure of that person. My kids remain my priority and will continue to be going forward.

That girl was a rebound, to help me feel better about getting back out there, and that worked for what it was. I was convinced no one would want to get with a fat bald guy with three kids from two failed marriages. That blow job, while it probably sounds dumb, did a lot for those bad feelings.

I doubt I'll see her again.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Marriage is something where if it's a deal breaker for someone, then things will end there. I won't take this ride again.
 
Dioblaire

Dioblaire

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Hang in there Tarrant. It does get easier. I still love my ex, more so than I should. But it is mainly the memory of what we used to have that I miss now, more so than anything.
 
T

Tenks

Bronze Knight of the Realm
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Tarrant_sl said:
Marriage is something where if it's a deal breaker for someone, then things will end there. I won't take this ride again.
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I thought that was your mindset then you found your new ex-wife and fell pretty hard for her. Didn't she get pregnant and you guys got engaged/married rather quickly?
 
Haast

Haast

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Tenks_sl said:
I feels a bit weird to me that only a few months after you both officially split you're both in sexual relationships with other partners. I guess I can't really say exactly what I'd do if my wife and I broke up but I'd imagine I'd have a hard time even talking to anyone for a bit but then I also understand the need for validation. So I guess maybe I don't know if it is weird at all or not. It just seems from this thread every rebound strange just leads to regret.
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I don't think it is weird. Marriages that end in divorce that doesn't involve a sudden revelation (e.g. cheating) have usually been in the shitter for quite a while prior to separation/divorce. Personally, I waited the ~6 months it took post-separation to get the divorce done before I started dating or hooking up. But by that time, I was very done with my ex and ready to get back out there.

Also, besides Onoes sticking it in every willing chick he could find and being really sad when it didn't work out, who else was upset about rebound strange? I don't recall others off-hand.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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We we dated and were together a year roughly. I wasn't opposed to marriage and attributed my first failed marriage to circumstance. Now I see that circumstance may just probably be me so no point in going down that road again. Marriage is all risk with very little reward for a man. Should I find someone someday i want to spend my life with we can do a ceremony but there will be absolutely zero legality to it. I'll be making that stance very clear when I start seeing people and the subject comes up.
 
Fifey

Fifey

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Me and my GF of 2 years split in January and I just went on my first "date" last night, while I'm mentally fine to date, I just still have zero interest.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Yeah I don't have much interest in it either, which islet I told her from the get go I want really looking for anything, which in still not. Not sure when I will be honestly, there's a lot that needs to be done and as soon as everything is final I'm taking a three day trip to the Gulf so I can finally see the ocean.
 
Haast

Haast

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Tarrant_sl said:
Should I find someone someday i want to spend my life with we can do a ceremony but there will be absolutely zero legality to it. I'll be making that stance very clear when I start seeing people and the subject comes up.
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You may end up in acommon-law marriagein that scenario. Consult a lawyer if you get to that point in the future and wish to avoid the legal side of marriage. Though obviously, not something to worry about now.
 
Mario Speedwagon

Mario Speedwagon

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I don't know why anyone getting out of a marriage would want to see anyone. If I got divorced tomorrow I'd probably spend a couple weeks in a cave of my own filth doing whatever the fuck I want and enjoying some peace and quiet.
 
Haast

Haast

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Dr. Mario Speedwagon_sl said:
I don't know why anyone getting out of a marriage would want to see anyone. If I got divorced tomorrow I'd probably spend a couple weeks in a cave of my own filth doing whatever the fuck I want and enjoying some peace and quiet.
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Divorce takes time. In Texas, you are required to wait 60 days after filing the initial petition before you can have the actual divorce hearing. I assume other states have similar laws. Factor in time to get lawyers, fill out paperwork, come to an agreement, get court dates, sign things off, etc. Even a smooth process takes 3-4 months, and that assumes "ideal" circumstances and very little disagreement.

So you'll have plenty of time to feel sorry for yourself, set the stuff she left behind on fire, and scout out the strange you want to bang by the time you are actually divorced.
 
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