Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Picasso3

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Holy shit, i was thinking like 800 dollars. Amazed she's bringing it up at all, i predict you recoup 1500 of it
 

Haast

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Just under 20k.
Holy shit. You and I live in different worlds.

The shitty part is that since last summer she's actually making pretty decent money and going forward wouldn't have needed any further assistance and could have actually started to chip away at what she owed me, paid for some groceries, etc etc and not felt like a free loader as much.
If the money truly means nothing to your finances (in which case, I envy you), I'd tell her "thanks for the memories, debt forgiven" just so you don't have to stay connected with her over what will likely be a long payoff process. But for me, $20k is a shitload.
 

Tenks

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Worst part is it sounds like the 20k is just in raw loan amount. I doubt he's even factoring in her not paying rent, food, entertainment and all that.
 

Tarrant

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He kept records of it, if he wanted to he could go after her for it if she doesn't pay. Two things with this;

1. It sounds like she will pay, or at least attempt to.

2. If she starts then stops, unless she does something to truly piss Eomer off, I don't see him going after her for it anyway. (not saying that as a knock on you, I just think with your feelings for her and how you seem to talk, you'd be okay with just cutting the loss and moving on)
 

Cad

scientia potentia est
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Worst part is it sounds like the 20k is just in raw loan amount. I doubt he's even factoring in her not paying rent, food, entertainment and all that.
I mean ok but who the fuck charges their girlfriend rent.
 

Noodleface

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When I was dating my wife we kept no records of all the money she lent me.

I guess it all worked out (DEBATABLE), and I make way more now, but I don't know what would've happened if we broke up. I'm too much of a non-shitlord to leave her hanging, but we also didn't document it.

I mean ok but who the fuck charges their girlfriend rent.
A lot of guys do. It's foreign to me, but I can see the reason.
 

Soygen

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I don't know about "charging rent" per say, but tons of couples split rent or mortgage payment/bills.
 

Tenks

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I mean ok but who the fuck charges their girlfriend rent.
When my girlfriend moved in with me after I bought my house I expected money from her monthly. In fact she was the one that insisted upon it but I was going to ask her to do it as well.
 

Tenks

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The shitty part is that since last summer she's actually making pretty decent money and going forward wouldn't have needed any further assistance and could have actually started to chip away at what she owed me, paid for some groceries, etc etc and not felt like a free loader as much.
This is going to be a bit harsh but do you think that possibly now that she can make her own money to not live on the streets she doesn't need you?
 

Cad

scientia potentia est
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I don't know about "charging rent" per say, but tons of couples split rent or mortgage payment/bills.
The idea that someone making as much as me or Eomer is going to split rent with a girlfriend who is a student is just absurd. If the two are kinda on the same playing field or rented the apt together? Maybe... if I invite her to come live with me then start invoicing her 1/2? Yea thats not going to work out and you know it.
 

Cad

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When my girlfriend moved in with me after I bought my house I expected money from her monthly. In fact she was the one that insisted upon it but I was going to ask her to do it as well.
I guess it would depend whether she makes any significant money or not. Case by case situation.
 

Soygen

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The idea that someone making as much as me or Eomer is going to split rent with a girlfriend who is a student is just absurd. If the two are kinda on the same playing field or rented the apt together? Maybe... if I invite her to come live with me then start invoicing her 1/2? Yea thats not going to work out and you know it.
Oh. You said "I mean ok but who the fuck charges their girlfriend rent." That sounded pretty general. I didn't know you meant specifically rich people with poor girlfriends. I agree with you in that regard, then.
 

Tenks

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I guess it would depend whether she makes any significant money or not. Case by case situation.
Possibly. I've been out of the game of dating college girls for so long that the concept of someone not having a stand-on-their-own income is feeling foreign to me. I suppose when I recently graduated and still dated college girls I did pretty much pay for everything. Occasionally they'd pick up a dinner check but that was about it.
 

Cad

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Oh. You said "I mean ok but who the fuck charges their girlfriend rent." That sounded pretty general. I didn't know you meant specifically rich people with poor girlfriends. I agree with you in that regard, then.
I agree I shifted those goalposts. But I'm having difficulty conceiving of the conversation where I invite the chick to move in, and tell her she now owes me $900/mo. I made the invitation to move in, not split finances. To me those are different conversations.
 

Noodleface

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I agree I shifted those goalposts. But I'm having difficulty conceiving of the conversation where I invite the chick to move in, and tell her she now owes me $900/mo. I made the invitation to move in, not split finances. To me those are different conversations.
Maybe he said "hey you wanna move in and split the rent" ?

He may have posted it, I can't remember. Me and the wife got joint accounts early though, but we were mostly on equal pay before I graduated.
 

Tenks

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I agree I shifted those goalposts. But I'm having difficulty conceiving of the conversation where I invite the chick to move in, and tell her she now owes me $900/mo. I made the invitation to move in, not split finances. To me those are different conversations.
It was a pretty easy conversation. I was buying my house. My girlfriend said "Its silly for you to may mortgage and me to pay rent. Why don't we just move in together and the money I would normally pay for rent I just give to you?" If she wouldn't have brought it up I had a similar conversation brewing in my mind as well. Though I lessened the amount she was paying me. I think it went from she was renting for like $780 and having to pay for cable/utilities to just giving me $500 and I paid for all the bills. Since we've gotten married (and I make ~30k more now than I did when I bought the house) I haven't asked for any money. I actually stopped collecting when I found out she had credit card debt and I told her carrying debt on an astronomically high interest rate is dumb so just take the money and pay that off.
 

Kirun

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You know, $20k almost does sound like she was in it for the money
No, no. See, shesaidshe wasn't in it for the money and hated everything about the typical "I have money lifestyle", so she definitely wasn't in it for the money! Except when it came to that one car that she just really,reallyhad to have! You know, because it was just like so..perfect! For reasons and stuff! I mean, other than that, she totally wasn't in it for the money. Well, there was thesix thousanddollar CC debt thing too, but other than those two things, shedefinitelywasn't in it for the money!

Eomer, my bro..you dodged a fucking bullet. Psychology majors are fucking insane. They're right up there with teachers and nurses. Any sort of "altruistic" profession attracts the absolute crazies.

PS. This little stunt of her wanting to "repay" the debt is just a way for her to stay connected/in contact with you. She likely wants to see what other dick she's missing out on for a bit (especially now that it sounds like she's "established" herself and you helped finance it, so she doesn't reallyneedyour patronage anymore), but she's going to keep you on the backburner under the facade that she's "repaying" you. Juuuuuuuuust in case she doesn't find a better alternative/gets bored/goes broke/etc. Then, she'll come to you one day for her "month/yearly/whenever the fuck I feel like it now" payment and want to "reconnect". Like Haast said, if you can ignore the 20k, just write it off as a life lesson and cut your losses. You're only going to end up hurt in the long-run.