Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Noodlemod_sl said:

I fuck my wife 70 times a day and we both orgasm each time

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I only fuck her about three times a day.

She usually gets off once though.

So practice DOES make perfect. Huh.

How's shit going Noodle?

lurkingdirk_sl said:

How's shit going Noodle?

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A lot better.

To set the scene we bought a new TV for the living room and were moving the smaller 42 inch to my office, so I also bought a new TV stand for the living room. It had been sitting in our house unassembled since Christmas because LOLOffice. I basically told her on Friday morning that my goal for the weekend was to completely setup the office for me, she could either help or I'd just do it. I came home Friday night from work to find her going through mass amounts of paper/bills/mail that she hoarded. She actually shredded like 3 garbage bagfuls, she would've done more but the shredder kept overheating. In addition to this she went through her filing cabinet and threw away/shredded everything older than 1 or 2 years (depending on what it was, obviously).

Due to the snow storm we stayed in all day Saturday so I was able to assemble the TV stand, swap out the stands, setup the new one in my office, and turned it into my office/gameroom. There's still some stuff that needs to be picked up like my old desktop computer and some random shit, but it's about 90% completed.

We also re-organized the living room so that the 36 square foot playpen was moved so that people can actually move around it and it's not directly in the way of everything. Finally she cleaned off our new kitchen table (yep, covered it in shit within ONE WEEK OF GETTING IT), set out placemats, put a giant bowl in the middle with fruit - it almost looks like a normal kitchen set now, I just need to order two benches.

So things are much better. I think she finally "got it" about how much it was bothering me.

She still leaves stuff around that makes me furious, like paper towels she uses to clean up baby puke right on the floor or candy wrappers on the end tables, but it's a work in progress heading in the right direction.

I also f'ed her brains out last night and I think I broke our bed.

What the fuck man, it was because I was pile driving her from the side. The bed is a piece of shit, we've been shopping for a new one.

I call that the jackhammer

Cad_sl said:

I guess I don't know what the pile driver is then

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I don't either, I just banged her while she was laying on her side and I was off the side of the bed.

next time try the victorious dolphin

sine the bed is already broken

Looks liek you want the pile driver from me

I dont know man, it's like a halfway-doggy style. I liked it. Feels good.

Soygen_sl said:

I believe that's dead doggy style.

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the floppy canteloupe

Deathwing_sl said:

Honest question: what's the appeal of that position?

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To unlock that Kama Sutra achievement?

I think that position feels pretty good actually but doesn't do a whole lot visually for me.

Piledriver hurts. My D just don't do dat.