Pan'Theon: Rise' of th'e Fal'Len - #1 Thread in MMO

I apologize in advanced if there's mistakes I'm on mobile and practically crying as I type this.
First I'll start by saying that my wife Is a kind loving woman and I never thought anything like this would happen. We've been together 6 years and married for 2 and it's been wonderful we have little arguments here and there like any normal couple.
One thing about my wife is that she's very sexually experienced she, as some men would put it, got around before we met. I on the other hand haven't she's was my 3rd girlfriend and the second girl I had sex with. Which I don't mind the past doesn't matter since she's with me now and she's been faithful since we got together. Now about the sexual stuff I like my sex pretty basic missionary doggy and what now but she likes these weird positions where I'm just uncomfortable.
And she has this obsession with playing with my ass. I hate I I don't like it and I don't let her touch it. She's always asking to stick a finger in there or one of her toys and I always say no. That's not for me. And there are times in the middle of sex when she'll try and it just ruins the mood and I we stop. She always argues "my ex boyfriends didn't mind it. They let me do it all the time" and I say I'm not your ex I don't like that and she says "well you should try to be more like them"
Now the incident I'm about to tell you happened about 3 weeks ago. My wife and I had out two friends over for a couple if drinks now by midnight we were all pretty drunk and out friends decided to leave. After they took off my wife decided she wanted to keep drinking I told her now we're were already pretty drunk and she said "come on just a couple of more drinks" reluctantly I agreed and she started pouring shots. I lost count after the 4th one? I think but I remember she kept pouring shot after shot I don't even think she was taking them just me. Eventually I got so drunk I started blackening out. Some of the Last thing I remember was her leafing me to the bedroom and getting into bed.
I remember my wife taking my clothes off. And then not much then I remembered felling a sharp pain and suddenly I was face down and my wife was behind me... Shoving one of her large dildos in my ass. I remember I think I told her it hurt and she said maybe it feels good? Or I'll make you feel good? Something like that. Then I blacked out again.
I had thought it was a Dream but I woke up and and knew it had happened i had a pain in my ass and I could feel how it hurt. Idk I asked her about it and she said she took me to the room I asked for a blowjob and she gave me one? (I don't remember that at all) she said that I then started begging her to fuck me in the ass. That she said no but I kept asking her so she did. I definitely don't remember any of that and I know I would never say that. (but what if I did)
Fast forward to today and our friends came over again to drink but u couldn't I had one beer and got too scared to keep drinking in case she decided to try to do it again. She kept making fun of me for only having one beer and she got our friends to pike fun at me too. But I just couldn't I don't want that to happen again.
I've tried talking to her about it but she keeps saying "you enjoyed it you wanted it just drop it." we haven't had sex since that day every time she approaches me for it I make an excuse. I'm just not conformable I feel like she forced it onto me and is now lying about it.
I don't know what to think reddit. Was I raped? She's my wife does that make it okay? She said I said I wanted it what if I did say that and I can't remember? Idk what to do but I've lost trust in my wife and don't know how to get it back.
Tl;Dr I think my wife raped me and is lying about it. How do I proceed after this situation?
Edit: thanks everyone for all the advice. I do know feel I was raped 100%. I'm still taking a lot of things into consideration and I'm going to give her one more chance to see if she'll realize she did wrong. I'm going to get out of the house for a couple of days before I talk to her to give us both time to think. If she doesn't admit she did wrong then I'm leaving her. I cannot be with someone who would do this to me. I still can't believe it. Hell even if she admits it I doubt I'll be able to trust her again. I think my marriage is over reddit. I just don't understand what was going through her mind when she did it.

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