Himeo
Vyemm Raider
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Update: I figured out why my wife wanted me to get my vasectomy reversed so goddamn bad.
Original post here:My (30M) formerly CF wife (28F) has been diagnosed with depression. Since then, she's decided that she wants to be a SAHM and is pressuring me to have my vasectomy reversed. Advice wanted. : childfree
TL;DR: my wife was an professional violinist and became depressed after being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Until that happened, we were both happily CF, and then she decided she needed me to get my vasectomy reversed so she could be a stay at home mom.
Update: After basically everyone both here and on /r/relationships said "go to couples therapy", we started going to couples therapy every other day, for a little over a week now. For the first few sessions, Claire was really actively trying to avoid the vasectomy issue. Man did that shit come up this morning.
Over the past week, I really thought that things were getting better. I felt hope, for this first time in weeks. We had talked through a lot of the things that had been depressing Claire and finding ways to work through them together.
Here's a thing I left out of the initial post because it was embarrassing to me. Claire has been drinking since her diagnosis. A lot. Not like "I never see her sober" a lot, but more than a person should drink a lot. She's been day drinking every other day or so. This has been one of the things that has been coming up in our couples therapy sessions, pretty regularly.
Fast forward to this morning. It was an emotional session the whole way through. It didn't help that last weekend was a concert from her former orchestra - we started off on that, and Claire broke down about it pretty quickly. We talked about that for a while, then some other things that I don't even really remember because I'm so fucking angry right now, then Claire brought up that she needed kids to be happy. Again. Fucking again.
Long story short, this turns into a giant fight between Claire and I, refereed by our therapist, which culminated in her tearfully telling me that she's pregnant. One day, while I was at work, trying to fucking provide for her, she fucked some dude and got herself knocked up. And she thought if she could convince me to reverse my vasectomy maybe she could fucking get away with it.
I'm not a violent guy, but I very genuinely wanted to slap this shit out of her right then. I still don't know what's worse, the fact that she cheated on me, or the fact that she tried to trick me into raising another man's child - especially since she's known since we met that I fucking hate children, or the fact that she tried to use my love for her to manipulate me. So, not wanting to hit my wife but at the same time desperately wanting to, I left. I didn't say anything, I stood up, grabbed my briefcase, and went to my car.
I called my boss and told him I wouldn't be able to make it back in today due to a family emergency. Let's call my boss Dan. Dan is the goddamn best boss I've ever worked for, and has become a good friend.
He asked what it was, and said they really needed me in at some point to get work done on a project that I'm heading. I broke down on the phone and told Dan everything, which has resulted in an extra week of paid time off, starting immediately, and a free dinner out tonight with Dan. I fucking love that guy.
Right now I'm checked into a hotel room, and I'm drinking my way slowly but surely through the minibar (yeah I know drinking isn't a healthy way to deal with problems but what the fuck ever) and waiting for Fallout 4 to download - I wasn't gonna buy it because I didn't have time to play it but I sure as hell do now. Saw the new James Bond movie a while ago, it was okay. I'm going out shopping later to buy clothes for the week because going home to get clothes means seeing her and I absolutely cannot see her right now. She's been blowing up my phone all day, which is why my phone is going to stay off until Friday.
