Rings of Power: Tolkien's Shambling Skinsuit

All that Balrog hype for 5 seconds of screen time.. the final scene of all the elves cheering was so bad. The episode started off strong but then just quickly unravels trying to hit every storyline with some “remember this from LOTR!” inserted dialogue.

Bro there’s a fat chick elf looooool

Gavinmad said:

Pretty sure that 500m number that gets tossed around includes the 250m Amazon spent on the licensing rights which isn't really a production cost. Not that it doesn't still look terrible for the amount of money spent on it.

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This production comes across as a high school play, but with a massive budget. Writing, casting, acting, direction is all on that level. None of the characters have any depth or weight...just like the writing.

Animosity said:

All that Balrog hype for 5 seconds of screen time.. the final scene of all the elves cheering was so bad. The episode started off strong but then just quickly unravels trying to hit every storyline with some “remember this from LOTR!” inserted dialogue.

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The Balrog was even better than the Lord of the Rings appearance imo, just amazing. But the entire storyline is just a cameo since it doesn't get free for a few thousand years.

Imagine if each season was a mini series and one was just about The Fall of Moria?

The elves cheering... they really got the elves wrong... they are meant to be graceful and ethereal.

Istar aren't supposed to be around yet either. barrow wights are not supposed to exist yet. so why wouldn't the Balrog be released right now? TIME COMPRESSION SQUALL!

Yeah, I don't remember if I said anything about the elves here. but that is also a major issue. Story focusing on the Elves is a tough choice, because they are so inhuman. you can do it, when you are only seeing Elves in passing. quick bits. But extended scenes of elves living, eating, chatting, emoting, etc.. it gets really really hard to keep it up. it would take an exceptional writer, director and actors.

Galadriel at the end there. caked in mud. dirty. etc. no? The dirt would literally just fall off her and her cloths.

a lack of magical items. Elven boots, elven rope, elven cloaks, elven bread. Everything elves make is organically infused with magic. and, again not magical trinkets, of engineering. more akin to divine holy relics. ... but where are they?

Grandelf LOL
"YOU ARE... THE LORD OF THE RINGS!" He said it! He said it! hahahaha

i like to think of this show as written by an autistic, dyslexic bad at math/reading 11 year old boy who got a make a wish with Jeff Bezos and he asked for a 5 year LOTR show using the scripts he has already written and Bezos funded it all with the best VFX people for $2 billion and then left the company. I enjoy the looks and wide shots and locations of the show but holy shit the writing and story is just autistically virgin-boy-with-no-life-experiences bad, like its all 1 dimensional and zero depth or complexity.

Worked great in binge mode though, i'll forget everything about the show in a day other than the Balrog which was cool as fuuuck but why can't it break through like 4 feet of stone on its own lol.

I also don't understand the dwarven rings AT ALL, i mean they literally show 7 dwarfs wearing them in the original movies but its unclear if they were even given out here? I might have missed a scene or dialogue though, I fell asleep a lot during the binge watch but it looked to me like 6 of the rings fell with dad.

its obviously all CGI but i enjoyed all the wide shots in the season like this

Caliane said:

Galadriel at the end there. caked in mud. dirty. etc. no? The dirt would literally just fall off her and her cloths.

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All that, and her teeth are fat. She needs Spanx dental work.

Was Aunt Jemima even in the books?

spronk said:

I also don't understand the dwarven rings AT ALL, i mean they literally show 7 dwarfs wearing them in the original movies but its unclear if they were even given out here? I might have missed a scene or dialogue though, I fell asleep a lot during the binge watch but it looked to me like 6 of the rings fell with dad.

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All seven Dwarven rings are given out by Sauron/Annatar both in the books and the show. Of course, the show timeline is all kinds of fucked up and evidently show Durin got all seven handed directly to him to disperse (or not) as he saw fit.

They fired 5 writers and hired 6 new ones. But the same 2 morons are still at the top.

When Adar put on the elf ring and turned back into an elf, mentioning a real name, I started screaming NO at the screen.

Thought he was going to be Celeborn lol.

lol you expect them to actually show the factions in a political drama? lol. no no. dwarf kingdoms exist off screen embodied by a single dwarf in 1 scene. same with other kingdoms of men, and elves. the "faithful", the valar, etc.

disparu posted his finale vid. I was wondering about the not saruman reveal since no one else mentioned the dark wizard.

so, in the books. 5 wizards.
Manwe, king of the Valar asked for volunteers around third age year 1000. Saruman and Morinehtar volunteered. Manwe specifically askes gandalf to go as well. he didnt want to go. thought he was too weak, and afraid of sauron. manwe commanded gandalf to go, because of this fear. Manwe then requested saruman take rataghast and romestamo.
(note they all have multiple names, those are there human ones.)
morinehatar, and romestano, the two blue wizards, went east and were never heard from again.

so here, the dark wizard name drops Manwe, then claims gandalf asked him to come, recognized that gandalf didnt think he could do it alone..

/thread.

How can something so expensive and pretty be so boring ? It boggles the mind. Take a 5% cut of the set design budget and spend it on writers eesh.

Not that they really give a fuck about lore, but isn't the fundamental premise of this entire series wrong anyway ? It's been a long time since I slept through the Silmarillion, but none of the rings other than the One Ring were cursed right ? Sauron just built backdoors into them so he could control them with the one ring. Pre forging of the Ring, everyone would have thought all the other rings were amazing. You kind of lose some of the betrayal aspect if everyone starts acting like Gollum the moment they put one on.

velk said:

How can something so expensive and pretty be so boring ? It boggles the mind. Take a 5% cut of the set design budget and spend it on writers eesh.

Not that they really give a fuck about lore, but isn't the fundamental premise of this entire series wrong anyway ? It's been a long time since I slept through the Silmarillion, but none of the rings other than the One Ring were cursed right ? Sauron just built backdoors into them so he could control them with the one ring. Pre forging of the Ring, everyone would have thought all the other rings were amazing. You kind of lose some of the betrayal aspect if everyone starts acting like Gollum the moment they put one on.

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It's nothing but shitty DEI hires who can't act?

I'll just keep posting this.

When bitter, low-IQ, weak people finally come to the realization that they'll never be able to achieve greatness, they make it their mission to destroy greatness, instead. Every good word, every show or sign of respect, given to those who earned it reminds these weak, sub-par individuals of their own failings and lack of talent, and so they choose to take out their shame on those who are their betters and the people who dare to recognize that fact.

velk said:

How can something so expensive and pretty be so boring ? It boggles the mind. Take a 5% cut of the set design budget and spend it on writers eesh.

Not that they really give a fuck about lore, but isn't the fundamental premise of this entire series wrong anyway ? It's been a long time since I slept through the Silmarillion, but none of the rings other than the One Ring were cursed right ? Sauron just built backdoors into them so he could control them with the one ring. Pre forging of the Ring, everyone would have thought all the other rings were amazing. You kind of lose some of the betrayal aspect if everyone starts acting like Gollum the moment they put one on.

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yeah pretty much.


and yes, this is horrible, NOT just from a lore perspective. also just basic storytelling and writing.

Something major just happened between two characters? a major decision, and major confrontation? what do you do? do you have the characters on screen react to what just happened?, or. do you cut away to some fucking hobbits wandering in the desert to waste time with a plot that goes nowhere, instead of actually showing the fallout and how people react to things?

Major political intrigue in a nation, or nations? do you, show these other dwarven kingdoms? do you even NAME them? do you show the people? or, do you just have them show up in one scene, with no names, and then cut away from them to go back to hobbits, that have no impact on the plot?

Do you do any world building at all? or do you just randomly name drop shit from the Lord of the Rings movie, and expect people to know what it is.

do you establish Durin has a fucking brother before s2, episode 8 epilogue? or. do you...

the entire show is like this. pacing is awful. constantly cutting away from the important stuff. no setups for anything in universe. no explanations of what things are. Characterization is all over the place. Hadar for example in the end. does a complete 180 for no reason. Same with numenor tyrant guy. why is anyone doing anything? because the plot demands it. The entire show is written backwards like that. why does anything happen? because its required for x scene later to happen. not because any action makes any sense for that character or whats happening in that moment.
Like, why is Elron carrying around the ring? becuase, he needs to lose it to Hadar. Not because there is any scene setting up a reason for Elron to want to carry it around.
this is also why multiple characters just constantly know things, they have no business knowing.

look, Grand Elf = Gandalf, thats some powerful world building ok

i binged through the season last week and i don't think i remember anything from the show now other than the cool balrog, and mostly wondering how expensive that was to animate, and Galadriel still wanting to fuck Sauron which made me LOL so hard

the two showrunners are huge, devout mormons and imo that aspect of their lives is what really leads to this show being so bland, they literally have no real life experience other than trying to convert people in africa and wearing magic underwear. why on earth amazon gave them this show is such a mystery. One thing is still true from the 70s and 80s, to write good scripts requires liberal use of cocaine.