Rings of Power: Tolkien's Shambling Skinsuit

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!

Gavinmad

Mr. Poopybutthole
43,737
52,284
I don't know, she's an elf- she has plenty of time to multiclass. I can see her having trained with the blade in her early years and moving on to explore the secrets of magic as she gets older. Elves live a long fucking time.
The problem is that the showrunners and writers have just done an utterly shit job portraying the Elves, and an especially shit job portraying Galadriel. It's not unreasonable that the character of Galadriel could be a competent swordmaster, Tolkien himself described her as being of Amazonian disposition and a match for any Eldar athlete. But this Morfydd Clark chick just flat out does not have the gravitas to portray "both being the greatest Eldar in Valinor; and if Fëanor was greater than her, she was wiser, and her wisdom grew with the long years.".

We aren't saying that Galadriel is actually a Mary Sue, the character is one of the most exceptional members of a race that is already some mix of alien and demigod compared to humans. We're saying this shitty, hollow portrayal of her makes her come across as one. And if their version of Galadriel is such a warrior princess, why the fuck is she so torn up about Finrod's death when he died one of the noblest deaths anyone on Arda ever died? A death so noble that the Valar rewarded him by bringing him back to life in Valinor. She undoubtedly wouldn't know that last part but he died a good death so why would she neglect her husband and daughter to go gallivanting around trying to hunt down Sauron?
 
Last edited:
  • 2Like
  • 1Tiresome
Reactions: 2 users

Chanur

Shit Posting Professional
<Gold Donor>
28,514
45,529
i think he's talking about Lucifer in Sandman who was played by Brienne of Tarth in just 1 episode, not the Lucifer TV show which was on Fox and then picked up by Netflix for 2 or 3 seasons when Fox cancelled it
I am. She was awful. Nothing like the character.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

reavor

I'm With HER ♀
<Bronze Donator>
5,151
17,822
The problem is that the showrunners and writers have just done an utterly shit job portraying the Elves, and an especially shit job portraying Galadriel. It's not unreasonable that the character of Galadriel could be a competent swordmaster, Tolkien himself described her as being of Amazonian disposition and a match for any Eldar athlete. But this Morfydd Clark chick just flat out does not have the gravitas to portray "both being the greatest Eldar in Valinor; and if Fëanor was greater than her, she was wiser, and her wisdom grew with the long years.".

We aren't saying that Galadriel is actually a Mary Sue, the character is one of the most exceptional members of a race that is already some mix of alien and demigod compared to humans. We're saying this shitty, hollow portrayal of her makes her come across as one. And if their version of Galadriel is such a warrior princess, why the fuck is she so torn up about Finrod's death when he died one of the noblest deaths anyone on Arda ever died? A death so noble that the Valar rewarded him by bringing him back to life in Valinor. She undoubtedly wouldn't know that last part but he died a good death so why would she neglect her husband and daughter to go gallivanting around trying to hunt down Sauron?

yeah they don't portray her as someone on the level of the first age heroes who went up solo against gods or armies of balrogs and held their own.
 

jayrebb

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
14,548
14,383
1662587529013.png


Yeah because when's the last time they made a show for racists?? lol This guy doesn't even know the name of the show.

Da Rangz of Powers
 
  • 6Worf
  • 3Like
Reactions: 8 users

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,195
15,325
I forgot who said it, but I like the explanation that darker skin in middle earth is earned by doing evil deeds. I'm going to go with that.

Do we all think that wizard is gandalf? Could be sarumon or even one of the others. He sorta puts off the same vibe as radagast the brown IMO.
 

jayrebb

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
14,548
14,383
I forgot who said it, but I like the explanation that darker skin in middle earth is earned by doing evil deeds. I'm going to go with that.

Do we all think that wizard is gandalf? Could be sarumon or even one of the others. He sorta puts off the same vibe as radagast the brown IMO.

Love this mystery boxth story-telling. *lisp*

So cool.
 
  • 3Worf
Reactions: 2 users

Animosity

Silver Baronet of the Realm
7,042
5,936
Am I the only one annoyed they named a character Nori, when that is already another character?
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

Furry

🌭🍔🇺🇦✌️SLAVA UKRAINI!✌️🇺🇦🍔🌭
<Gold Donor>
21,885
28,606
Alright, watching episode one, and I gotta say, the thing that's smacking me in the head hard is that the elves are all like quivering humans. Jackson got it right, where Legolas was walking around like it's a normal stroll in the pass of caradhras while everyone else is getting fucked over by the snow and cold. All of the elves should have been like: We climbing some ice mountain, do this shit daily. And sure as shit shouldn't have fallen over walking in some lame movie set wind. Also, they should have royally fucked over the orcs, and been surprised that despite the 100s thousands of orc deaths, an elf could actually die too. It should have been a giant pile of orc bodies with elves confused at a few empty elf helmets.

Elves should come off as alien non humans, but they don't. Terrible.
 
  • 8Like
Reactions: 7 users

Furry

🌭🍔🇺🇦✌️SLAVA UKRAINI!✌️🇺🇦🍔🌭
<Gold Donor>
21,885
28,606
Alright, watching episode one, and I gotta say, the thing that's smacking me in the head hard is that the elves are all like quivering humans. Jackson got it right, where Legolas was walking around like it's a normal stroll in the pass of caradhras while everyone else is getting fucked over by the snow and cold. All of the elves should have been like: We climbing some ice mountain, do this shit daily. And sure as shit shouldn't have fallen over walking in some lame movie set wind. Also, they should have royally fucked over the orcs, and been surprised that despite the 100s thousands of orc deaths, an elf could actually die too. It should have been a giant pile of orc bodies with elves confused at a few empty elf helmets.

Elves should come off as alien non humans, but they don't. Terrible.
Past half way. Black witcher fails the gaydar test. He's definitely looking at the woman on orders. Is he gonna be a main character, Ooof if so.
 

Arden

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,731
2,055
I forgot who said it, but I like the explanation that darker skin in middle earth is earned by doing evil deeds. I'm going to go with that.

Do we all think that wizard is gandalf? Could be sarumon or even one of the others. He sorta puts off the same vibe as radagast the brown IMO.

I think we're at least supposed to think it's Gandalf. The part where he whispers to the fireflies is an obvious callback to when Gandalf whispered to the moth to go get Lord of the Eagles to save him. Of course it could be an intentional red herring /shrug.

1662617149878.png


It sounds weird saying "callback" when it technically hasn't happened yet, but you know what I mean

Edit: Forgot to mention- Gandalf getting "rescued" and cared for by what are essentially hobbits when he first arrives in ME could go a long way in explaining his life-long affinity/interest in them. Honestly it would be kind of a cool way to explain something that was never really explained in the books.
 
Last edited:
  • 3Like
Reactions: 2 users

kroenen

Regimen Morum
4,763
27,855

Tolkien created a world which, by definition, is multi-cultural,” reads the statement. “A world in which free peoples from, different races and cultures join together, in fellowship, to defeat the forces of evil. ‘Rings of Power’ reflects that. Our world has never been all white, fantasy has never been all white, Middle-earth is not all white.
 
  • 1Rustled
Reactions: 1 user

Caliane

Avatar of War Slayer
15,320
11,613
I think we're at least supposed to think it's Gandalf. The part where he whispers to the fireflies is an obvious callback to when Gandalf whispered to the moth to go get Lord of the Eagles to save him. Of course it could be an intentional red herring /shrug.

View attachment 432227

It sounds weird saying "callback" when it technically hasn't happened yet, but you know what I mean

Edit: Forgot to mention- Gandalf getting "rescued" and cared for by what are essentially hobbits when he first arrives in ME could go a long way in explaining his life-long affinity/interest in them. Honestly it would be kind of a cool way to explain something that was never really explained in the books.
I hope they show the origin of him smoking weed. and the origin of him making fire works. and the origin of where he got the wagon he was riding at the start of the movie. oh and the origin of his hat.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users

Arden

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,731
2,055
I hope they show the origin of him smoking weed. and the origin of him making fire works. and the origin of where he got the wagon he was riding at the start of the movie. oh and the origin of his hat.

He got the weed from Tobold Hornblow and the fireworks from the elves. Not sure if anyone cares about his wagon, but we might get to see how he got his hat.
 
Last edited:

Furry

🌭🍔🇺🇦✌️SLAVA UKRAINI!✌️🇺🇦🍔🌭
<Gold Donor>
21,885
28,606
Deep in episode two. Diversity dwarves are probably the most entertaining thing of this show. They definitely butchered the elf arc by not making them all as insanely wtf as galadriel. If they all were invincible zealots I'd kinda believe it. But I guess only special ones can be.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

pysek

It Didn't Happen, It Should've, and It Will.
<Gold Donor>
20,087
120,997
1662690986659.png


Racist review bombers have been shut down !
They all look so pathetic, like they've each been promised a soylent (and rent I guess) if they wear the tshirts and 'get the racists' like good goys.
 
  • 7Like
Reactions: 6 users

zzeris

King Turd of Shit Hill
<Gold Donor>
20,277
85,870
It doesn’t matter what they say or think. The show is awful and it won’t finish on a high note or with the desired seasons and episodes. Eventually, you’d think these studios will get it but we need to show more Netflix, Disney types losses and pain for these retards to understand we aren’t converting and won’t watch their shit. At least my ass won’t. Why reward these shitheads??
 
  • 5Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 5 users