Rings of Power: Tolkien's Shambling Skinsuit
- Thread starter Brahma
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Asmadai
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Yeah, they basically are just saying "fuck the timeline" in this i'm guessing. Isildur even being alive in this puts it at SA 3200 at the very least, which throws off all sorts of other shit in the timeline that happened in this Age.
And ugh, dindu Queen of Numenor - really? These faggots just can't help themselves I swear to fucking god.
And ugh, dindu Queen of Numenor - really? These faggots just can't help themselves I swear to fucking god.
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So who is this king of neumenor that was "overthrown" that they mention? I don't recall any being overthrown. And so they are are going to rehash a whole aragorn "king in exile, your people need you" shit with whats his name?
I'm telling you now, viewership is going to fall off a cliff with this. Non-Fans have got to be bored, and actual LotR fans will keep watching just to see scenes from the books on film, but will be constantly pissed off when they add things out of thin air or throw in a bunch of Africans in what is supposed to be a sequestered Island nation of high men.
Speaking of High men, I like how they changed "Men of Darkness" to "low men".
p.s. so Isildur and his "sister" have different mommas I take it? Seeing how the sister is white as snow, and Isilidur is obviously mixed race.
I'm telling you now, viewership is going to fall off a cliff with this. Non-Fans have got to be bored, and actual LotR fans will keep watching just to see scenes from the books on film, but will be constantly pissed off when they add things out of thin air or throw in a bunch of Africans in what is supposed to be a sequestered Island nation of high men.
Speaking of High men, I like how they changed "Men of Darkness" to "low men".
p.s. so Isildur and his "sister" have different mommas I take it? Seeing how the sister is white as snow, and Isilidur is obviously mixed race.
zzeris
King Turd of Shit Hill
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At this point, I don’t understand any true fan of Tolkien watching this. Seeing scenes from the books hasn’t happened consistently since the second movie about 20 years ago. Today you’re just watching to see what they fuck up and remake. Considering none of them have the talent of Tolkiens left pinky, it’s never good. This is just nerd virtue signaling. “I’m the best fan! I even watch the garbage! “ Truly pathetic.
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Asmadai
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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The ONLY thing i'm getting from this are the visuals.
Seeing the Two Trees, the architecture of Tirion and the landscape of Valinor? That was sick. Finally getting to see Numenor in all it's glory? Amazing. Yes, granted these are mostly newer renditions and they barely had anything to go on other than things like Nasmith's artwork over the years but it was still awesome to see that shit in a digital medium up close and personal.
Seeing the Two Trees, the architecture of Tirion and the landscape of Valinor? That was sick. Finally getting to see Numenor in all it's glory? Amazing. Yes, granted these are mostly newer renditions and they barely had anything to go on other than things like Nasmith's artwork over the years but it was still awesome to see that shit in a digital medium up close and personal.
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I am still ambivalent and hopeful. I loved the Fellowship of the Ring. Loved it. I do qualify as a Tolkien nerd. Each successive movie seemed to become more of a chore. Yes, the battle scenes in Return of the King were pretty extraordinary, but, like the movie series, a little too much and a little too long. Then came The Hobbit. This was the simplest of all of Tolkien's works and it was made into a 9 hour (or thereabout) monstrosity.
I certainly didn't feel great as a Tolkien reader being water-tortured by watching The Hobbit.
So, this series gets the same break later Jackson projects did. Yeah, with no text to use as a reference to desecrate. Just characters and archetypes that they may (or may not) get in synchronicity to my internal constructs from the novels. But I'll play for now.
Holy fuck did I have to put up with hours and hours of Trek shit/products before I was given a "First Contact." Even after that, fans were raped with "Nemesis..."
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That's pretty much what I said to the wife ' pretty visuals but there isn't a story. Need to hurry tf up with something happening'.
Holy shit how did that make it into the final cut? That's going to be parodied all over the place but I don't know how it gets more goofy and weird than it already is.
And despite the on-the-nose misdirections, what's his name isn't Sauron. He's going to be given a bad Aragorn reluctant leader arc, kill whoever the blurry asshole is at the end of the episode, get crowned king of the southlands, and everyone will be super shocked and saddened when he's given one of the nine rings and becomes the witch king.
Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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Chris
Potato del Grande
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It's not just that LMAO.
Galadriel jumps off a boat which is taking her elf commando squad to Valinor, is ship wrecked and then rescued and taken to Numenor by a captain called Elendil (The human king from the last alliance of elves and men).
The Numenoreans are already somewhat corrupted and hate elves, including Queen Kang. Galadriel is an undiplomatic bitch so they throw her in jail, from which she escapes off camera and Assassin Creed jumps from wall to wall on her escape.
Elendil stops her escaping by sea because his family are secretly loyal to the elves, instead he says they can ride to his library.
Galadriel says "RIDE!?" with a crazy look on her face, then there is a slow mo montage of them enjoying riding across Numenor like the Shadowfax one in Two Towers.
In the library there is a cartoony picture of Elrond and his brother and founder of Numenor, Elros. The Elrond looks hilariously accurate to the new actor.
Galadriel accidentally opens a scroll with Sauron's sigil sideways next to a convenient map of ONLY where Gondor and Mordor end up, she realies that the sigil is actually a map of Mordor to lead evil there.
We also have two new mystery boxes, Queen Kang knows some sort of prophecy about Galadriel and the Orcs who are building Mordor have a suspiciously elf like leader called Adan who is yet another Sauron candidate.
There's also a high chance that Galadriel's sexual tension shipwreck buddy is the Witch King since he's revealed to be a king in exile of the men who live in what will be Mordor.
The show is simultaneously kind of good, but also laughable given the franchise it's in and the characters it has. They made a 7/10 show out of 11/10 source material.
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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Chris
Potato del Grande
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Yeah except she rides once and immediately figures out the mystery she's spent hundreds of years on.
Just watch it, it's Force Awakens good and you'll know all the stupid shit in it to complain about online.
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Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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i hated Force Awakens and wish i had never seen it. i am a grumpy old man and all the descriptions of this show sound like something that would make my blood boil. i was just curious if there was a scene that stuck out about her love of riding horses. i will go back to lurking.
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Just give it a little time. It'll be in the preview image of all your rage bait buddies' videos soon enough.
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Just eat the steaming pile of shit and then you can laugh about how bad it tastes with all the other people who ate the steaming pile of shit!
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