Shit

Bandwagon

Kolohe

<Silver Donator>

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• Jul 1, 2020

• #41

Pooping during the field crew's morning meeting because they always yell at eachother and no one can hear me pooping. Detect a well-formed oak log coming down the chute. Satisfaction turns to horror as it lands broadside and splashes poopwater in my ivory cheeks. Contemplating going home to shower....

 

MusicForFish

Ultra Maga Instinct

<Prior Amod>

34,224

134,373

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• Jul 1, 2020

• #42

Bandwagon said:

Pooping during the field crew's morning meeting because they always yell at eachother and no one can hear me pooping. Detect a well-formed oak log coming down the chute. Satisfaction turns to horror as it lands broadside and splashes poopwater in my ivory cheeks. Contemplating going home to shower....

Click to expand...

Just use the public washroom sink as a bidet.

 

Bandwagon

Kolohe

<Silver Donator>

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• Jul 1, 2020

• #43

MusicForFish said:

Just use the public washroom sink as a bidet.

Click to expand...

What am I, a fucking gymnast?

 

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Quineloe

Ahn'Qiraj Raider

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• Jul 3, 2020

• #44

Just for you

 

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iannis

Musty Nester

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• Jul 3, 2020

• #45

On fuck, shut it down. The Germans have found us.

 

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Izo

Tranny Chaser

19,467

23,539

• Jul 6, 2020

• #46

Ate too much freedom food. It’s comin out the sewer. Thinking of you, FoH.

 

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Bandwagon

Kolohe

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• Jul 12, 2020

• #47

Six am, day after short ribs
I throw some ropes down in the dark.
The smell of beef,
Toilet seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere

 

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TBT-TheBigToe

<Rickshaw Potatoes>

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• Jul 12, 2020

• #48

I think this thread is making me constipated.

 

Bandwagon

Kolohe

<Silver Donator>

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• Jul 14, 2020

• #49

Working out of town and staying at my brother in law's house. The site I'm surveying/mapping is huge and less than a mile from his house. Just popped over to drop off a huge Brando and the fart fan is louder than a concert. This is magical.

 

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Bandwagon

Kolohe

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• Jul 20, 2020

• #50

Normally when I shit at work, especially monday mornings, I give a perfectly timed courtesy flush that's really meant to cover up the initial trumpet blast that I use to signify the end of the weekend. This morning though, I had a little badger bark escape while I was rocking my cheeks into place and one of the draftsmen apologized for leaving the mop bucket out when I left the bathroom. He thought the sound he heard was me tripping on the mop bucket.

"'Twas me Arsehole", I thought, but I just said "no problem".

 

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DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler

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• Jul 20, 2020

• #51

It's crazy to think that the next poet laureate resides here on our very own forum.

 

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A

a_skeleton_05

<Banned>

13,843

34,510

• Jul 20, 2020

• #52

Made the mistake of buying a loaf of 12 grain bread and adding crunchy peanut butter for PB toast.

 

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Bandwagon

Kolohe

<Silver Donator>

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• Aug 7, 2020

• #53

A growler is born,
Spiraled and straight
Unicorn horn
Out my back gate

 

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Bandwagon

Kolohe

<Silver Donator>

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• Aug 11, 2020

• #54

Afraid of poopies,
communal office bathroom,
this badger can't wait.

 

DickTrickle

Definitely NOT Furor Planedefiler

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• Aug 11, 2020

• #55

Slowly turning into one of the greatest threads on the forum.

 

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pharmakos

soʞɐɯɹɐɥd

<Bronze Donator>

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• Aug 11, 2020

• #56

Archaeologist buried in ancient city she excavated

Turkish academic and archaeologist Vuslat Müller-Karpe has been buried in the 3,800-year-old Hittite city of Kayalıpınar, where she conducted excavations for years, after she died on Aug. 7.

www.hurriyetdailynews.com

"Turkish academic and archaeologist Vuslat Müller-Karpe has been buried in the 3,800-year-old Hittite city of Kayalıpınar, where she conducted excavations for years..."

O_O WTF

"...after she died on Aug. 7."

Oh phew.

 

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TBT-TheBigToe

<Rickshaw Potatoes>

<Gold Donor>

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• Aug 15, 2020

• #57

Alasliasolonik said:

I just took the biggest Foler of my life. Aka a giant peice of shit. Like a can of chili and a PBJ

Click to expand...

 

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Bandwagon

Kolohe

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• Aug 17, 2020

• #58

A Road-aged turd finally arrives,
Forged in a lobby and hardened by drives,
Reluctantly banking around my final turn,
Initial satisfaction begins to burn.

 

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Bandwagon

Kolohe

<Silver Donator>

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• Aug 18, 2020

• #59

New house on a hundred degree morning,
Waiting for the carpet guy when my guts start snoring,
Urgency turns to emergency halfway to the can,
This one will rattle the porcelain and strain the fan.

 

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pharmakos

soʞɐɯɹɐɥd

<Bronze Donator>

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• Aug 21, 2020

• #60

the oldest of the three children who are staying at the place i'm currently at has decided that i am a PeePee Head, he is a PooPoo Head, his sister is a Butthead, and his little brother is.... ah dammit i forgot. he's very insistent and specific on all this and has actually put quite a bit of thought into it.

 

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