So, I'm dying...

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Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
2,175
Well, the poster has a right to their own opinion even if it is not their opinion and just baiting to be mean-spirited, they have that too, as long as it is in accordance with the rules of the forum.

I realize that I have placed myself in this position and that I should be able to handle whatever slings and arrows are flung my way.

Upon reflection, I am reminded that as my emotions are raw, my reactions may be so as well. I am an openly emoting individual, my joys are many and I have much love in my life. As such, I can spread some of that around (caveat: platonically.) I really do hope that the struggles faced by the members of this community are lessened by one another rather than the other way around. As for people who don't have the joys and the love that I do, I hope that they can find some or be granted some. It really is all that matters.
 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>
15,896
9,295
Don't worry about it. This subsection of the forum is dedicated to being a normal human and not some internet persona. If he would have talked about a widow that way to their face days after they lost their husband, then he's a tool in the real world too and better off not posting in this part of the forums anyway.
 

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
38,319
16,205
I was gonna infract him for being a Patriots fan because they are the whines pieces of shit, and I live 30 minutes from Gillette
 

Royal

Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
15,077
10,643
So now we have Mrs. G joining our little corner of the interwebs. I gotta say, that's makin' me a little misty damnit.
 

Miguex

The lad himself
<Gold Donor>
2,248
1,806
Mrs. Gravy, you are most welcome here and glad you chose to stick around for whatever its worth.
 

Erronius

<WoW Guild Officer>
<Gold Donor>
17,319
44,962
It isn't very common to meet someone online that comes across as a genuinely good person. Whether Gravy was or not in real life, I can't say, but he stood out here as a good guy on a forum full of trolls and shitlords. We've had various members simply disappear with no warning, and other members who we knew passed away but the reaction was either lukewarm or outright hostile due to their online reputation. When I try to think back to the last time this community had a member die that people actually felt a loss over, I want to say that it might have been Unleashed (?) and that was probably a decade or more ago.

I'm grateful that Gravy felt the need to inform the members here of what may have been inevitable. He was one of the few that will truly be missed.

I apparently have handed out too much reputation - like being the best house on the block at Halloween, with the full size Snickers bars.
Normally you can only give reputation to a person one time, so Gravy had probably given him rep before. Moderators can, of course, give out unlimited reputation as well as edit/modify rep. While this clearly has potential for abuse, we traditionally give Tuco negs to help offset this injustice. We also occasionally ask a_skeleton_03 to create a poll so that we can vote on whether something like this is fair or not and should be changed, but this is just a formality and is similar to the Airing of Grievances from Seinfeld.

 

LachiusTZ

Rogue Deathwalker Box
<Silver Donator>
14,472
27,162
Welcome to one of the most jaded, fucked up, twisted, educated, interesting holes of the internet.

That being said, some ppl are going to take cheap shots etc, will doubt the sincerity of what has occurred, etc etc. Thats part of the jaded cesspool.

Anyway, I dunno . . . this thread is hard to read honestly.

I hope he went easy, its good to know you were there at the moment he passed. A comfort.

Only advice I have for you if you are sticking around:
1. NEVER respond to IRB. Ever. For any reason. That dude is a fucking plague in what was a decent thread.
2. Screenshots is awesome, but a lot of the threads involve some form of tits . . . but still some hilarious stuff in there.
3. Religion thread is a toxic echo chamber.
4. Fuck the Patriots.
5. Roll Tide, Roll.
6. Never respond to IRB. This is worth mentioning twice. Esp since Gravy was apparently not black, you will just be called a racist somehow. Since I doubt he reads this, just say Gravy was black. I'm sure most will cover for you.
 

Kedwyn

Silver Squire
3,915
80
I've tried a few times to explain this place to others and I've more or less failed at it. This is one of the more unique places on the Internet. The community is large enough to thrive yet small enough that people stand out. You can have serious topics (for awhile) like this one, arguments over the benefits of single payer vs tort reform for health care, tranny's with dicks that put mine to shame (and have ended a short lived version of this site), men pretending to be woman, fat / depressed attention whores, married dudes that run prescription pain killers to hookers out of state, suicides etc. In between all that, and so much more, you can have a serious discussion on Dyson spheres, the practicalities of faster than light travel, garlic being a cure all for whatever ails you, why the Star Wars prequels suck or the benefits of prepaying points on your interest rate for a mortgage.

While there are other places that have more content or perhaps excel at one thing or another I've yet to find a community quite like this one. This place is completely fucking dysfunctional, comedy, sadness, brutal / mean spirited and yet so much more than all that. There are a lot of good people here. There is a lot of good information here. The ass holes, mental issues and drama kind of just act like a big old blanket to keep us all warm and comfy.

Anyway, regardless of the warts and crazy, this is a pretty good place to kill some time, have some laughs and bull shit with others.
 
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Hekotat

FoH nuclear response team
12,325
12,037
I did just saunter through the NFL thread, wow, gonna have to wear my kevlar big girl pants for that place. "Alleged fallen..." what an ass.
lol, Saunter. That makes me think of ASiP "Don't saunter away!". But yes, you will need thick skin for the majority of this forum. Don't take it too seriously and you should be fine.
 

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
2,175
What a great group. I hope that I can keep up with all of you.
I believe I will have to keep my dictionary nearby for some of the postings and a puke bucket for others.

Thanks for the sympathy, the information and the warnings. I will put them to good use.
 

Woefully Inept

Karazhan Raider
9,315
37,046
Depending on the threads you peruse you may also want to invest in a full body condom to protect yourself Mrs. Gravy. Shit can get pretty nasty in Screenshots.
wink.png
 

The Master

Bronze Squire
2,084
2
I just got back from a funeral and caught up on this thread. Fuck.

Everyone likes a good gravy. Luscious, preferably covering meat.
Everyone likes a good cook, mostly because everyone needs to eat.
But few people are liked like Gravy, just the right amount of sweet.

So soulful we thought he was black, turns out he was white.
But it made no difference, we loved him for his comments on bites.
The best conversations on cooking will always, for me, be Gravy.

A man on Rerolled with no enemies.
Why'd it have to be him to say good bye?
 
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Denamian

Night Janitor
<Nazi Janitors>
7,537
20,899
Sonofabitch, it's sad to see that Gravy's gone. Thanks for informing us and I hope that you do end up sticking around.

Glad to see your comments about Hospice care. I deal with a lost of medical professionals through work and the Hospice nurses are some of the best. Lots of great gallows humor.

I've tried a few times to explain this place to others and I've more or less failed at it. This is one of the more unique places on the Internet. The community is large enough to thrive yet small enough that people stand out. You can have serious topics (for awhile) like this one, arguments over the benefits of single payer vs tort reform for health care, tranny's with dicks that put mine to shame (and have ended a short lived version of this site), men pretending to be woman, fat / depressed attention whores, married dudes that run prescription pain killers to hookers out of state, suicides etc. In between all that, and so much more, you can have a serious discussion on Dyson spheres, the practicalities of faster than light travel, garlic being a cure all for whatever ails you, why the Star Wars prequels suck or the benefits of prepaying points on your interest rate for a mortgage.

While there are other places that have more content or perhaps excel at one thing or another I've yet to find a community quite like this one. This place is completely fucking dysfunctional, comedy, sadness, brutal / mean spirited and yet so much more than all that. There are a lot of good people here. There is a lot of good information here. The ass holes, mental issues and drama kind of just act like a big old blanket to keep us all warm and comfy.

Anyway, regardless of the warts and crazy, this is a pretty good place to kill some time, have some laughs and bull shit with others.
I think that's a pretty damn good description of this place. The recent downtime just showed me how much time I spend here even if I don't post much. I don't know what the hell I'd do if it was gone.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
27,542
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It was Tuesday; in my arms at about 6:15; it got called later than that because the hospice nurse had to do it.

58 is good, too. DT is an all-time great.

So today was two months past the day I was supposed to die on the table. Actually feeling kind of shitty at the moment, been having a hard time catching my breath.

As long as I'm hanging on, I'd be surprised if at least one person doesn't think I'm trolling this thing. Isn't that a helluva thing to think about? I can assure you, it isn't a troll. And I'm white, I promise.
Then his last words to us were a couple days earlier.

"And I'm white, I promise." would make a good battle cry. Are there any battles that need fighting?
 

Mrs. Gravy

Quite Saucy
<QUITE SAUCY>
1,696
2,175
Sorry for you loss Tracy. Brian was one heck of a person and will be greatly missed.
Thank you and he most certainly will.
As you have let me in here I am taking advantage of this opportunity. Tomorrow is my first day back to work and it scares the fuck out of me. I have great co-workers but the thought of having to see them and say shit to them is overwhelming. One of my close friends is going to try and run some interference for me but I know she won't be able to completely protect me. I am guessing that people will want to hug me, and normally I am great with that, but since this, it hurts - I am physically repelled by it; I didn't even want it from my family with whom I am EXTREMELY close. The thought of it from people with whom I work and about whom I care, but do who are not in my inner circle downright freaks me the fuck out.
That is all. Thank you for either your attention to this post or your inattention; either way I got to get that out of my head and into poorly written words.




As an aside, I found a poem G wrote...he dated it Oct 19. I don't know if he would want it shared as it appears as if it were a first draft but it made me cry and miss him and love him all the more. The fucker.
 

Kedwyn

Silver Squire
3,915
80
You might not enjoy the first days but establishing a routine again is important. Once you get past the awkwardness and even at times infuriating "I'm sorry, let me know if there is anything I can do" you'll be better off. Get it all out of the way. People don't realize how much hearing that over and over hurts and you just get numb to it. People feel the need to say something to show they care so they can get on with their lives. Saying it is as much for them as it is meant for you.

You're going to eventually develop a scab over those feelings and start to feel like things are moving forward. There will be times that scab gets ripped right the fuck off and it will hurt, a lot. There is going to be a good bit of back and forth as you deal with the grief and try to find a new normal.

Everyone handles grief differently but I'd say it's best to try and not become reclusive. Try and not make big decisions. Don't shelter yourself from others or only seek consul via the Internet. Find a safe spot for yourself but don't shut yourself off from others in the real world.

You've suffered a huge loss and it is going to take time to get your feet on the ground and find some traction. You'll slip, it will hurt but you have to get back up and live your life.
 

Void

BAU BAU
<Gold Donor>
9,901
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The few times that something like this has happened to someone I knew, I felt that they didn't want to hear the platitudes, but if I didn't say them I might come across as an uncaring asshole. You don't have to answer right away, but maybe after thinking about it some and experiencing it firsthand for a bit, I'd appreciate hearing what you feel is the best way to handle the situation if you're one of those concerned coworkers/friends. Maybe there is no best answer, and maybe everyone just has to be uncomfortable for a moment to get past it, as Kedwyn said. But if there is, I'd appreciate hearing it.