Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

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khorum

Murder Apologist
24,338
81,363
It's true. A thorough force-schlonging is the required minimum penance for that offense under article VI subsection 4a.
 

Shonuff

Mr. Poopybutthole
5,538
791
Hoping this ties into the current derail.

So I have a single mother here that requested to borrow my blu ray set to get her kids ready to see TFA. I agreed and will be going by tonight to drop off the set, share a drink, catch up with the kids, and maybe stay and watch the first movie (ep4); but I found out that she (a self-described nerd with no justification for the moniker) let them watch ep 2/3(no ep1) last night. While I felt great anguish at this, I gave her benefit of the doubt and asked her if she was doing an abbreviated machete showing to get her kids ready to see the movie sooner. She had no clue about 4/5/2/3/6 or 2/3/6 (machete / abbreviated machete) and had no clue why anyone would watch the movies in any order but 1-6 or 4/5/6/1/2/3. I feel like there should be some penance for tarnishing these childrens' souls, but I yield to my ignorance and pose the question to the collective wisdom of the internet neckbeardiom.

How should I handle the situation?
Wait until the kids go to bed, and then stick your dick in her mouth.
 

Ukerric

Bearded Ape
<Silver Donator>
8,311
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Dude touched black guy with bloody hand, and he instantly evaluates his life choices!
That's a very symbolic sequence. Up until that, you have totally faceless interchangeable stormtroopers. But the blood mark on his helmet make him an individual; all other stormtroopers are totally anonymous but he is now recognizable. And as an individual, he can make choices (and of course, he chooses goodness and freedom).
Yet, even with all of these obvious ripoffs of the original movie, people are saying that it's every bit as good as the originals.
It is as good as the original. It's only problem is that the original exists, and so it suffers by comparison; on its own it's almost worth every bit of praise that comes (weakest bits being the treatment of Kylo Ren and Phasma's non-presence).

Try (as hard as it might be) to think how you'd see it if there had never been an original trilogy. If it was the first movie of a new franchise. There's a couple bits that don't work well (the obsession with Vader, R2D2 & C3PO don't make sense at all outside of their original presence, some snark remarks; and of course why that old guy on some desert island would be important to everyone), but the rest would absolutely make a kickass movie.

Of course, it would never be the first movie of a brand new, never seen franchise; Hollywood doesn't take that level of risk anymore.
At the end, while Rey and Chewie fly towards the island, Chewie looks at Rey twice almost in a way that Chewie knows who she is and what is about to happen. Almost as if he's happy for her to make it back home or to be reunited with Luke. I think it is really intentional the Chewie looks at her a couple of times before they land. I felt the undertone that most of the old cast if not all of them knew Rey. When Han and Rey first meet, I think he really attempts to find out just how much she knows. No doubt Snoke and Ren know who she is... I think Snoke reference to the "awakening" is a direct reference to Rey, not just that the force has awoken in someone randomly.
I think most of everyone pieced it together; Rey is the only survivor of the slaughter of that new Jedi Academy Luke had founded by the Knights of Ren. Ben Solo prevents her kill for reasons (she's his sister? cousin? he liked her due to random? she's the only girl there and he's still not evil enough to kill little girls?) and drops her on Jakku when she's like 5 year old. She's repressed those trauma memories and built instead that fantasy that her family is going to come someday to take her away (why have "jedi mindwipes" when nature does it almost as good as any force trick). No one would recognise her fully grown up, and even Kylo Ren is not sure if that's her at first, at least not until she mindgrab the lightsaber. Of course, Luke will recognize her because Force stuff (or being his daughter, if she is), but I doubt anyone else except Kylo Ren knows the truth at that point.

The Force Awakens is of course Rey's coming back into the Force, no discussion about that. I've seen some people think it refers to Luke leaving his exile, but that's incorrect.
 

Nester

Vyemm Raider
4,978
3,183
Hoping this ties into the current derail.

So I have a single mother here that requested to borrow my blu ray set to get her kids ready to see TFA. I agreed and will be going by tonight to drop off the set, share a drink, catch up with the kids, and maybe stay and watch the first movie (ep4); but I found out that she (a self-described nerd with no justification for the moniker) let them watch ep 2/3(no ep1) last night. While I felt great anguish at this, I gave her benefit of the doubt and asked her if she was doing an abbreviated machete showing to get her kids ready to see the movie sooner. She had no clue about 4/5/2/3/6 or 2/3/6 (machete / abbreviated machete) and had no clue why anyone would watch the movies in any order but 1-6 or 4/5/6/1/2/3. I feel like there should be some penance for tarnishing these childrens' souls, but I yield to my ignorance and pose the question to the collective wisdom of the internet neckbeardiom.

How should I handle the situation?
Say nothing let people live thier lives and stop being so fucking insufferable.
 

Siddar

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
6,457
6,003
Yeah I posted my experience with 20-somethings from work earlier in the thread - forget comparisons between the movies, anybody who I've talked to who watched ANH recently for the first time as part of a binge or catch-up session leading up to TFA (and there's been a lot of that) has basically laughed at how bad that and the others were independent of anything else. They didn't even get the hype around ESB, which is lauded as a masterpiece by many around here (and still my favorite of all 7 so far).

They were bad movies, but they were genre defining and a cultural phenomenon, so they get a pass.
If you don't understand why ANH is a great movie it's likely because its themes have been copied so much in later movies that you don't understand how genre defining ANH was. You wont understand why Empire is one of the best movies ever made because of that. ANH is a complete hero quest with the small band of hero's triumphing over impossible odds with a story book medal awarding ceremony ending. Empire is the complete reverse of that with the villains kicking ass from beginning to end. Where the one bit of good news at the end is that the main hero of the movie Luke failed his suicide attempt.

Rey the chosen one is going to have to crash very hard in movie eight to match the story arc of ANH to Empire. A big reason why TFA is not considered a bad movie is because it does copy ANH. Will they copy Empire to the same degree is the question? The way they ended TFA with Rey in god mode and Ren being pummeled would indicate no there not willing to defeat Rey the way they defeated Luke in Empire.
 

kegkilla

The Big Mod
<Banned>
11,320
14,739
Hoping this ties into the current derail.

So I have a single mother here that requested to borrow my blu ray set to get her kids ready to see TFA. I agreed and will be going by tonight to drop off the set, share a drink, catch up with the kids, and maybe stay and watch the first movie (ep4); but I found out that she (a self-described nerd with no justification for the moniker) let them watch ep 2/3(no ep1) last night. While I felt great anguish at this, I gave her benefit of the doubt and asked her if she was doing an abbreviated machete showing to get her kids ready to see the movie sooner. She had no clue about 4/5/2/3/6 or 2/3/6 (machete / abbreviated machete) and had no clue why anyone would watch the movies in any order but 1-6 or 4/5/6/1/2/3. I feel like there should be some penance for tarnishing these childrens' souls, but I yield to my ignorance and pose the question to the collective wisdom of the internet neckbeardiom.

How should I handle the situation?
kill yourself
 

khorum

Murder Apologist
24,338
81,363
I think most of everyone pieced it together; Rey is the only survivor of the slaughter of that new Jedi Academy Luke had founded by the Knights of Ren. Ben Solo prevents her kill for reasons (she's his sister? cousin? he liked her due to random? she's the only girl there and he's still not evil enough to kill little girls?) and drops her on Jakku when she's like 5 year old. She's repressed those trauma memories and built instead that fantasy that her family is going to come someday to take her away (why have "jedi mindwipes" when nature does it almost as good as any force trick). No one would recognise her fully grown up, and even Kylo Ren is not sure if that's her at first, at least not until she mindgrab the lightsaber. Of course, Luke will recognize her because Force stuff (or being his daughter, if she is), but I doubt anyone else except Kylo Ren knows the truth at that point.

The Force Awakens is of course Rey's coming back into the Force, no discussion about that. I've seen some people think it refers to Luke leaving his exile, but that's incorrect.
The thing is the whole "balance of the force" dillemma would support the notion that Luke is Rey's father because if she IS his daughter, he would feel compelled to protect her from him at any and all costs. And he would likewise have to protect himself from her if she was at risk of turning. That's why the expression on Luke's face at the end is a combination of irritation and resignation.

This was actually foreshadowed by ANOTHER scene they must've cut from the movie. This time it's more dialogue with Snoke. In it Snoke pretty much lays out the fall of the Empire and the subsequent 30 years of chaos and massacre that followed on Vader's moment of weakness. This actually a rare interpretation of Vader's turning, since most people think Luke turned Vader eventually, but actually it was Vader who went out of his way to convince the emperor that SAVING HIS SON was in the best interest of the Dark Side.

VqixDUF.jpg


Kylo Ren interprets this as a calling to sever his ties with HIS father----but it also provides a basis for Luke mindwiping his daughter and keeping her hidden away in a desert planet without any knowledge of her origins. So that she remains safe from those who would use her against him or force him to kill his own child.
 

Shonuff

Mr. Poopybutthole
5,538
791

Ossoi

Potato del Grande
<Rickshaw Potatoes>
17,712
8,754
This was actually foreshadowed by ANOTHER scene they must've cut from the movie. .
can you summarise all the interesting stuff from the book please. I've downloaded it but really don't feel like reading it just for the deleted scenes and extra backstory
 

LachiusTZ

Rogue Deathwalker Box
<Silver Donator>
14,472
27,162
Ok, tossing my 2 cents in here now that I've actually seen this thing.

If it was NOT star wars, 7/10. Since it is a sequel to one of the, if not the, biggest film franchise in history, I feel its a stretch going 5/10.

That's a very symbolic sequence. Up until that, you have totally faceless interchangeable stormtroopers. But the blood mark on his helmet make him an individual; all other stormtroopers are totally anonymous but he is now recognizable. And as an individual, he can make choices (and of course, he chooses goodness and freedom).
Its not that, its that he was raised in agoge basically, trained to be a killing machine. But the first fire fight, dude puts bloody hand on his helmet and it shatters his world. Then juxtapose this, and other acts of cowardice, with him going face to face with Kylo or whatever . . . yeah, no.

Here is my personal nit picking, to add in with everyone else's.

Why is salvage worth 1/4 a meal, but flying a car is free?

Hero chick is ungainly. And remarkably pale for someone living in the desert.

Do storm troopers not have the tech to see droids rolling across the night away from a combat area?

Really? Nobody knows what he did with the map? Where is his astro tech droid? And wtf, the most important intel in the galaxy is at stake, "yeah, send 24 guys, we have billions, but 24 should work. No worries."

Emo Vader didn't think to force hand face question him on the planet? You know, the night before. Again, only the most vital intel in the galaxy.

There goes black man having a change of heart cause reasons! Best fighter pilot in the resistance? Yeah, don't have people guard him.

TIE fighter, notoriously fragile, takes out a whole hangar bay? Then breaks out, and never gets hit by any patrols or one of dozens of turbo lasers?

TIE fighter obviously updated, but they kept the credit crappy original solar panels? Ok

TIE fighter goes Mario cart classic reverse rubber banding and impossibly out runs other TIE fighters (they land, and Fuck around with no hostile units in pursuit?)

Ball droid sad. This chicks forehead.

Most important shit in galaxy, send two storm troopers!

Why are the pursuit TIE fighters hours behind their quarry?

TIE fighter chasing you? No biggie, out run it on foot!

One minute she can't keep the falcon upright, the next, time to chat while flying better than Han. Yeah, fucking that was dumb. Did she just immelman (sp?) The falcon?

Dude slicing up the console is the only decent scene so far.

Thank God Harrison Ford showed up.

Mouth monster instantly kills everyone but black dude.

Chick obviously stand off ish, but loves the storm trooper gone good instantly.

She might have downs.

Old woman bar keep yoda is neat.

Jedi chick looks like agent Smith.

Han and Chewie been together how many decades and he never shot a bow caster?

Ten Minutes ago, black dude was ready to bail, then, "Raaaaaayuyyyy!!!!". Lol

Starving didn't wake up the force. Several luge our death fights didn't. Five pushed into a tree 30ft up didn't. But when needed for the plot...

Droids going captain planet to combine maps was gay.

Chewies life debt xferd to Jedi chick?

She held that light saber out for a long time.

I like how Rod138 summed it up, but my two words for this movie would be: Hollow / Soulless.

The whole thing just felt empty as fuck. As a stand along space western not tied to Star Wars, it would have been nice. But fuck, ppl have been wanting a decent star wars movie for decades and the substance never gets delivered.

Also, I passed out and some nerd woke me up cause I was snoring too loud. So I missed about 20 minutes.

The only 2 things from it that I actually liked, old woman barkeep yoda thing, and Han. Other than that, it was as expected.
 

Siddar

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Dude touched black guy with bloody hand, and he instantly evaluates his life choices!
My guess is ether Fin will emerge as a Jedi and that scene will be seen as the start of his eventual transition or he going to die at end of movie eight so that Rey can have a big cry over his corpse.
 

Vulg

Golden Knight of the Realm
245
173
If you don't understand why ANH is a great movie it's likely because its themes have been copied so much in later movies that you don't understand how genre defining ANH was. You wont understand why Empire is one of the best movies ever made because of that. ANH is a complete hero quest with the small band of hero's triumphing over impossible odds with a story book medal awarding ceremony ending.
Oh man, Lucas speaks openly about how heavily he was influenced by The Hidden Fortress and Yojimbo specifically (looks like somebody already linked a more complete list) in terms of story. There are entire sequences that are just lifted from those and other movies, and the plot devices are FAR from original. Are you serious?

What I meant be genre defining was space war-opera with special effects, the stuff it won Oscars for (i.e. Visual Effects, Costume, Music etc.).
 

Siddar

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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6,003
Oh man, Lucas speaks openly about how heavily he was influenced by The Hidden Fortress and Yojimbo specifically (looks like somebody already linked a more complete list) in terms of story. There are entire sequences that are just lifted from those and other movies, and the plot devices are FAR from original. Are you serious?

What I meant be genre defining was space war-opera with special effects, the stuff it won Oscars for (i.e. Visual Effects, Costume, Music etc.).
Yes I'm serious do you even star wars?

To even try and argue the point is to admit you just don't understand star wars at all.
 

The Edge

Lord Nagafen Raider
763
262
I would love to see some powerful, Force utilizing, 3rd party, come in and recognize the problems with balance in the Force, and be like "fuck the Jedi, fuck the Sith, fuck the light, fuck the dark. It's time to go grey."

 

Blakkheim

Karazhan Raider
8,167
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My theory is that his wife/lady was killed by Kylo during/after the revolt against his students so a good chance he brought her body there and buried it someplace.

Timelinewise I'd say it was:

- Kylo Born
Year 5 Kylo starts training @ 5 Years old.
Year 10 Rey Born
Year 15 Rey Starts training
Year 16 Kylo Goes bad and kills the Padawans/Jedi
Year 16 Rey is Hidden by Luke/Mom
Year 16 Rey's Mom is killed by Kylo,
Year 16 Luke goes into hiding.
This is actually a pretty good theory. I might I have to reconsider my brother/sister theory.

I think my biggest hang up with the theory of Rey being Luke's daughter is the idea of trying to come up with who the mother is. If the mother is still alive then you are going to have to come up with some convoluted story about who she is, where she is, what happened to her, and why did she abandon her daughter for the last 15 years?

On the other hand, if she is dead (killed by Kylo Ren?) then it becomes a much easier story to sell. Luke hides his daughter to protect her from Kylo, etc. and uses the force to block out her memories of her experience with the force. Not so much "wiping" her memory like Men In Black but just suppressing them with the power of the force. Once she comes in contact with another force user (Kylo), she starts to "awaken". I also agree that it looks like it could be a grave stone that Luke is standing in front of at the end of the movie.


I think the main reason why I have felt that the brother/sister theory always made more sense is because of the whole story arch and redemption scenario (assuming that's where they take this trilogy). Having brother vs sister just seems more intriguing than cousin vs cousin. There's also the revenge factor of Rey seeking redemption for Kylo killing their father.
 

The Edge

Lord Nagafen Raider
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One of the problems I have with Luke going into hiding is that these are all essentially his apprentices, with far less experience. So Kylo and a few others stepped out of line? You're fucking Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master. Ignite that lightsaber and go to town on their candy asses. You don't run away when you're the Alpha, and let them destroy everything you worked to create. Yoda and Obi-Wan went into hiding because Sidious was enormously powerful, and Yoda lost. Kylo is no Darth Sidious.

This can make sense if they want to admit once and for all the the Dark Side is stronger, which is why we often saw one Sith be able to take on multiple Jedi and prevail. But still, Luke vs. padawans.... game over, man.