Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

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spronk

FPS noob
23,355
27,215
Shouldn't this movie be called the Fall of Skywalker? All of them are fucking dead!

luke wasn't alone on that island for 20 years, he fucked everything that moved and there are millions of highly enriched midichlorian porgs, space cows, womp rats and shit ready to fuck shit up

7MtNFSg.jpg
 
  • 3Worf
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Lithose

Buzzfeed Editor
25,946
113,036
Watched a small part of this. Holy fuck what a pile of garbage. Like none of these characters have earned how they are acting together, some of these idiots don't even fucking know each other and yet are acting like lifelong friends. lol
 
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Masakari

Which way, western man?
<Gold Donor>
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Watched it tonight.
I won't be too critical, but the story did jump around rather abruptly without much build up. I feel the redemption arc with Kylo could have been played out better.

Even though the trilogy recycled a lot from the original trilogy, it was pretty cool to see Palpatine again. When he was getting back his power, it brought back memories and emotions of Revenge of the Sith. Pretty cool feeling and I enjoyed it, while short-lived.

The Gold Lightsaber at the end was pretty cool, I imagine they are setting the scene for a KOTOR series.
 
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Kiroy

Marine Biologist
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I watched this over a few sittings

I gotta say, I think it's brilliant - this is so fucking horrible it made episodes 7 and 8 seem like beautifully well crafted cinematology
 
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Sterling

El Presidente
13,092
8,067
I mean 7 was probably better, but calling 8 better has to involve dementia or over medication.
 
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Jozu

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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6,295
8 and 9 were 2 of the worse movies to come out over the past decade. Not just from a sci fi standpoint, but in general.

It is going to continue to get worse over time as it will not age well either. They just need to get the Mandalorian up and running again, and hopefully the high republic will get rid of some of the bad taste left by these two abominations.
 
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Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Gold Donor>
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"Cool to see palpatine again".

This is why you cant have nice things.
 
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Burns

Avatar of War Slayer
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14,661
This just in:
The High Republic to have Palpatine Prime, the original Palpatine.

When asked, the writers said, "Well, it's just cool to see Palpatine again, err, for the first time, but, again. You know, it's the same, but different, but the same."
 
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Chukzombi

Millie's Staff Member
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214,261
I was assuming that was a sarcastic post. Even if he says he was serious about being happy they retconned palps and the end of return of the jedi, i will still assume he wasnt. Even brando wouldnt make a statement like that.
 

Deathwing

<Bronze Donator>
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Agree, its all very stupid!! The ship can literally warp around space, but can't figure out which way is up. LOL. I thought about the same in the first Star Wars, all the resources to build a stupid death star. And how do all these planets look like deserts but have huge populations? And like smoking hot Rey would be single.

I rewatched this today on a flight .... I honestly think it's a totally fine movie. It's not great, but it's not shit like so many of you say.

:rolleyes:
 
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Jive Turkey

Karen
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9,087
I mean 7 was probably better, but calling 8 better has to involve dementia or over medication.

Agreed. 9 is dumb because the plot is a mess and doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's relatively benign compared to 8 which actively destroyed trilogy story arcs and Star Wars lore. Much worse
 
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LachiusTZ

Rogue Deathwalker Box
<Silver Donator>
14,472
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Decided if this movie ever comes up in conversation, I'm going to pretend I watched it, and just make shit up.

Then accuse the other people in the conversation of not remembering whatever I'm lying about.
 
  • 6Worf
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Malakriss

Golden Baronet of the Realm
12,659
11,973
Decided if this movie ever comes up in conversation, I'm going to pretend I watched it, and just make shit up.

Then accuse the other people in the conversation of not remembering whatever I'm lying about.
I think you are making up the fact you didn't watch it because you totally did and are trying to cover up.
 
  • 2Like
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Reactions: 3 users

jayrebb

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
14,562
14,394
Decided if this movie ever comes up in conversation, I'm going to pretend I watched it, and just make shit up.

Then accuse the other people in the conversation of not remembering whatever I'm lying about.

Wanna be pals.
 
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 1 user

LiquidDeath

Magnus Deadlift the Fucktiger
5,044
11,900
Started this last night and made it an hour before going to bed.

I've never waited more than a week to see a single star wars movie in the theater that was released in my lifetime.

I'm so fucking sad for fans of the franchise, even though I hate a lot of them.

In the first 15 minutes of the movie, "master" Leia says to never underestimate a droid and literally 5 minutes of screen time later that brilliant foreshadowing was paid off. Jesus Christ what a trainwreck.

Me the entire movie:
tenor.gif
 
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Izo

Tranny Chaser
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If you watched 7 and 8, you’ve alread got the bug. Might as well see the last one before you die of aids.
 
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Frenzied Wombat

Potato del Grande
14,730
31,803
Finally watched it over the weekend, took multiple sittings and about a 1/3 of an ounce of weed. Even then, the entire experience was one of boredom, sardonic amusement, and a general feeling of sadness.

I think what struck me most is how utterly detached this movie was from the previous eight. With the exception of using basic Star Wars based lore, it doesn't build or depend on any narrative or event depicted in any of the previous movies. As long as maybe you know what a "jedi" is, or maybe who Palpatine is, then that's all you really needed to know to comprehend this film. The film could have been some random sci-fi flick with the storyline "ancient evil re-emerges from the past, and the heroic chosen one with her lazer sword and band of friends embark on a grand adventure to prevent the end of the galaxy."

So what is so incredibly mystifying, is that if you aren't the least constrained by the story built in eight previous movies, AND you have free license to literally invent new shit like space vessel force pulls and Lay on Hands, AT LEAST come up with something original. How the fuck can you have total free reign to make whatever the fuck you want up, and still fail so horribly despite massive creative freedom?

What's worse, is on top of the shit tier story, is how "empty" everything feels. Nothing feels "real" because despite the movie's length, nobody's behavior or actions feel believable because they arrive at dumbass conclusions and statements without any build-up. The whole movie feels like a cut and paste of various scenes jumbled together, with everything predictable to boot. The movie feels like some fucking tram ride in Disneyworld where you just shuttle along, observing various scenes/exhibits that have little relation to each other.

Even the Jedi fight scenes are pathetic, holy fuck. I mean at least the Lucas remakes had that part down for some minuscule amount of redemption. Rey/Keylo basically just smash sabers against each other mindlessly for five minutes, and her fight against Palpatine has to be the most anti-climactic cliche bullshit ever.

Finally, the actors.. Jesus fucking christ the actors.. Is there anybody who isn't fucking miscast in this movie? Rey is not believable as the most powerful Jedi ever. Fucking Leia is cringe. Poe and Pasta pilot-- am I supposed to give a fuck about these two? or Rose?

Honestly, I'm just glad the series is now dead at this point. I don't think I could have stomached another wound to my childhood.

I mean holy fuck this was bad. Not as bad as the previous one which was just epic SJW cringe, but just phone it in style Sci-fi network garbage tier.
 
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