Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Mist · Mar 23, 2020

Didn't watch 8, didn't watch this, and I fucking love Star Wars.

Frenzied Wombat · Mar 23, 2020

Mist said:
Didn't watch 8, didn't watch this, and I fucking love Star Wars.

Why the fuck not? I thought you liked being angry?

Vanessa · Mar 23, 2020

Idk how good/bad/left/right Cinemablend is really, but this article ranking ALL the Star Wars movies from worst to best is odd. They got #1 and #2 correct, but Clones wasn't the worst ever (who thinks that?) and their #3 entry and their rationale behind it is mind-numbingly awful.

"In retrospect, the legacy of Rian Johnson’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi is tarnished by The Rise of Skywalker’s stubborn refusal to engage with any of its story choices and character arcs, but putting that aside and looking at the film more in a vacuum, it’s just really an impressive piece of filmmaking. Not only is it absolutely gorgeous, featuring some of the most beautiful sequences that have been included in Star Wars movies (thinking about the throne room showdown, the battle on Crete, and the burning of the tree library specifically), but it also dares to take its heroes and plot in unexpected and exhilarating directions."

This glowing praise for TLJ isn't wrong about it being visually beautiful, I'll agree on this tip, but "unexpected and exhilarating directions" is a sinful statement. Furthermore, saying that TLJ is TARNISHED by TROS is the most completely bass ackwards shit I've ever read. It's like this person has no clue that TROS sucked specifically because of TLJs path that it took.

How is a movie that veered off the path of what fans liked and wanted tarnished by the movie that got it back on the path but was completely FORCED to address shit that didn't make sense to try their damndest to make it make sense but because you fucked it up so inconceivably from the get go it was doomed to suck no matter how "good" it was?

I don't understand that reviewers mentality at all... help.

Lanx · Mar 23, 2020

Vanessa said:
Idk how good/bad/left/right Cinemablend is really, but this article ranking ALL the Star Wars movies from worst to best is odd. They got #1 and #2 correct, but Clones wasn't the worst ever (who thinks that?) and their #3 entry and their rationale behind it is mind-numbingly awful.

"In retrospect, the legacy of Rian Johnson’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi is tarnished by The Rise of Skywalker’s stubborn refusal to engage with any of its story choices and character arcs, but putting that aside and looking at the film more in a vacuum, it’s just really an impressive piece of filmmaking. Not only is it absolutely gorgeous, featuring some of the most beautiful sequences that have been included in Star Wars movies (thinking about the throne room showdown, the battle on Crete, and the burning of the tree library specifically), but it also dares to take its heroes and plot in unexpected and exhilarating directions."

This glowing praise for TLJ isn't wrong about it being visually beautiful, I'll agree on this tip, but "unexpected and exhilarating directions" is a sinful statement. Furthermore, saying that TLJ is TARNISHED by TROS is the most completely bass ackwards shit I've ever read. It's like this person has no clue that TROS sucked specifically because of TLJs path that it took.

How is a movie that veered off the path of what fans liked and wanted tarnished by the movie that got it back on the path but was completely FORCED to address shit that didn't make sense to try their damndest to make it make sense but because you fucked it up so inconceivably from the get go it was doomed to suck no matter how "good" it was?

I don't understand that reviewers mentality at all... help.

last name, berg

Caliane · Mar 24, 2020

Vanessa said:
Idk how good/bad/left/right Cinemablend is really, but this article ranking ALL the Star Wars movies from worst to best is odd. They got #1 and #2 correct, but Clones wasn't the worst ever (who thinks that?) and their #3 entry and their rationale behind it is mind-numbingly awful.

"In retrospect, the legacy of Rian Johnson’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi is tarnished by The Rise of Skywalker’s stubborn refusal to engage with any of its story choices and character arcs, but putting that aside and looking at the film more in a vacuum, it’s just really an impressive piece of filmmaking. Not only is it absolutely gorgeous, featuring some of the most beautiful sequences that have been included in Star Wars movies (thinking about the throne room showdown, the battle on Crete, and the burning of the tree library specifically), but it also dares to take its heroes and plot in unexpected and exhilarating directions."

This glowing praise for TLJ isn't wrong about it being visually beautiful, I'll agree on this tip, but "unexpected and exhilarating directions" is a sinful statement. Furthermore, saying that TLJ is TARNISHED by TROS is the most completely bass ackwards shit I've ever read. It's like this person has no clue that TROS sucked specifically because of TLJs path that it took.

How is a movie that veered off the path of what fans liked and wanted tarnished by the movie that got it back on the path but was completely FORCED to address shit that didn't make sense to try their damndest to make it make sense but because you fucked it up so inconceivably from the get go it was doomed to suck no matter how "good" it was?

I don't understand that reviewers mentality at all... help.

That was some really baffling shit.

It’s thrilling to watch Kylo Ren carve out a whole new future for the Dark Side, see Rey tempted away from the light, and have Luke caught in the middle struggling with his connection to the Force. By the end of the movie there is an excellent set up for a perfect next chapter, with goodness reignited in the universe and the use of the Force spreading, and it’s a shame that we never got it.

wtf?

If there is a single thing that TLJ did, that was most damaging.. it was that it completely shut down any possibly of a sequel/continuation.

I'm probably never going to bother watching Rise of Skywalker. But, I'll also never actually blame J.J. etc for it. There was no way to make this movie. it was impossible to make a trilogy after TLJ. even more nonsense to try making it a capstone to a nonology. I def don't blame him, writers, etc for taking the paycheck. Maybe KK and Disney get some blame for not just shutting it down entirely and canceling the "trilogy".

Hoss · Mar 24, 2020

My wife is watching them all in order 1-9 this week. It's what she decided to do with her extra quarantine time. We already have disney+ for the Mandalorian, so the're all available for free.

Gavinmad · Mar 24, 2020

Malakriss · Mar 24, 2020

Save yourself the time, they thought it was trash too.

Izo · Mar 24, 2020

Hoss said:
My wife is watching them all in order 1-9 this week. It's what she decided to do with her extra quarantine time. We already have disney+ for the Mandalorian, so the're all available for free.

Who is her favorite character from ep VII-IX?

Hoss · Mar 24, 2020

Izo said:
Who is her favorite character from ep VII-IX?

She just finished V yesterday. She claims she didn't really pay attention to any of the films when she originally watched them. She was peppering me with questions yesterday. Even if she had to pause the movie and come find me in the garage. Felt good for this useless knowledge to be useful. I'm sure it will finally get me laid any day now.

Frenzied Wombat · Mar 24, 2020

What I don’t understand about this film is how they managed to fuck up the fight choreography so badly. The Rey/Keylo showdown has to be one of the most boring, mindless, sword fights ever to grace the screen. They basically just smash and mash light Sabres together mindlessly until Rey runs out of juice.
Was it just another example of “phone it in” or was every fight choreographer on the planet booked solid?

Hoss · Mar 24, 2020

Maybe it was like in Empire where they decided they couldn't let Luke be too good seeing as how he had no fucking training at all. Rey would have been in the same boat. Kylo didn't really have an excuse other than being emotionally stunted.

jayrebb · Mar 25, 2020

Frenzied Wombat said:
What I don’t understand about this film is how they managed to fuck up the fight choreography so badly. The Rey/Keylo showdown has to be one of the most boring, mindless, sword fights ever to grace the screen. They basically just smash and mash light Sabres together mindlessly until Rey runs out of juice.
Was it just another example of “phone it in” or was every fight choreographer on the planet booked solid?

After JJ's original entire Episode 9 was ordered to be slated and re-shot, he said fuck it.

He shot entire confrontations and fights with characters that Iger ordered completely removed from the script-- main villain characters.

He just got sick of it. Also check the interviews during production, JJ admits the movie was edited together on the fly. They would shoot a scene and immediately edit it on set in a trailer, and have the editor run it back out to JJ and play it to him. Most of the time JJ instantly gave the edit final approval, meaning no more takes.

He said they simply ran out of time. They had to make time, and that meant instant editing on set during shooting.

Editing on the fly means that just any passable fight scene will do.

jayrebb · Mar 25, 2020

Star Wars movie produced while on location-- running around, eating breakfast, and waking up and shooting more an editing the same scenes they shot that day before they needed to shoot the next day.

jayrebb · Mar 25, 2020

Literally fucking thrown together.

Bondurant

Harshaw

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Got Made On the Run

One of the movie's editors was cutting it together while it was being shot.

www.wired.com

"I was on the set the entire time, and [director J.J. Abrams] got so used to it that he was like, 'You need to be less than 10 feet away from me at all times'—so if the camera would move 10 feet, I would move 10 feet," she said.

"I watched what they were shooting, I was cutting what they were shooting the day before."

Mic drop it

Brodhi · Mar 25, 2020

Just watched this. I didn't think it could really be as bad as people said. It was somehow worse . I don't even have words to express how bad they fucked this up.

jayrebb · Mar 25, 2020

Brodhi said:
Just watched this. I didn't think it could really be as bad as people said. It was somehow worse . I don't even have words to express how bad they fucked this up.

Would you say it was literally thrown together?

Merrith · Mar 25, 2020

Frenzied Wombat said:
Finally watched it over the weekend, took multiple sittings and about a 1/3 of an ounce of weed. Even then, the entire experience was one of boredom, sardonic amusement, and a general feeling of sadness.

I think what struck me most is how utterly detached this movie was from the previous eight. With the exception of using basic Star Wars based lore, it doesn't build or depend on any narrative or event depicted in any of the previous movies. As long as maybe you know what a "jedi" is, or maybe who Palpatine is, then that's all you really needed to know to comprehend this film. The film could have been some random sci-fi flick with the storyline "ancient evil re-emerges from the past, and the heroic chosen one with her lazer sword and band of friends embark on a grand adventure to prevent the end of the galaxy."

So what is so incredibly mystifying, is that if you aren't the least constrained by the story built in eight previous movies, AND you have free license to literally invent new shit like space vessel force pulls and Lay on Hands, AT LEAST come up with something original. How the fuck can you have total free reign to make whatever the fuck you want up, and still fail so horribly despite massive creative freedom?

What's worse, is on top of the shit tier story, is how "empty" everything feels. Nothing feels "real" because despite the movie's length, nobody's behavior or actions feel believable because they arrive at dumbass conclusions and statements without any build-up. The whole movie feels like a cut and paste of various scenes jumbled together, with everything predictable to boot. The movie feels like some fucking tram ride in Disneyworld where you just shuttle along, observing various scenes/exhibits that have little relation to each other.

Even the Jedi fight scenes are pathetic, holy fuck. I mean at least the Lucas remakes had that part down for some minuscule amount of redemption. Rey/Keylo basically just smash sabers against each other mindlessly for five minutes, and her fight against Palpatine has to be the most anti-climactic cliche bullshit ever.

Finally, the actors.. Jesus fucking christ the actors.. Is there anybody who isn't fucking miscast in this movie? Rey is not believable as the most powerful Jedi ever. Fucking Leia is cringe. Poe and Pasta pilot-- am I supposed to give a fuck about these two? or Rose?

Honestly, I'm just glad the series is now dead at this point. I don't think I could have stomached another wound to my childhood.

I mean holy fuck this was bad. Not as bad as the previous one which was just epic SJW cringe, but just phone it in style Sci-fi network garbage tier.

When you say "previous 8", it's almost as if you're stating Last Jedi somehow belongs with the first 7. For all it's faults, TFA at least still felt like Star Wars. Basically just a rehash, but 8 was way out in some other world just pretending to be a part of the story so far.

Lanx · Mar 25, 2020

i wonder if anyone is gonna make a fan edit of 8 & 9, you could realistically swap it be 7,9,8 and just do a few edits of 8 and 9 and it'd be a complete and proper trilogy.

jayrebb · Mar 25, 2020

Lanx said:
i wonder if anyone

No

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

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