The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

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W

Whatwhat_sl

shitlord
45
0
If for whatever reason you decide to let this ho come to your place of residents and she stalks you this this is how you get rid of her:

First what you?re going to do is take her by the hand and slowly walk her into the room, be gentle (this is important; she is not use to thing we call hand holding!). Maintain eye contact through all of this btw. Next you?re going lay her down on the bed and slowly remove all her clothes. Begin to gently caress her body. This is where she?ll really start to freak out because you not using her like a rag doll will make her question her entire existence. Next, begin fucking her in missionary position (eye contact!) and when you guys both seem to be somewhat getting into it, tell her you love her. She?ll instantly become repulsed, but now, even though she?s now only dreaming of leaving, she?ll stay because of her lower than dirt self-worth.

You have her freaked out and thinking of leaving, but like all crazy bitches, she won?t leave! So what now, you say? While in the middle of fucking her, slowllyyy ease yourself out of her, and get into a squatting position over her. I can?t stress this enough, eye contact is critical here. Now while looking at her lovingly, drop a giant deuce right on her chest. The end.
 
L

lordvanduu_sl

shitlord
213
4
Whatwhat_sl said:
If for whatever reason you decide to let this ho come to your place of residents and she stalks you this this is how you get rid of her:

First what you're going to do is take her by the hand and slowly walk her into the room, be gentle (this is important; she is not use to thing we call hand holding!). Maintain eye contact through all of this btw. Next you're going lay her down on the bed and slowly remove all her clothes. Begin to gently caress her body. This is where she'll really start to freak out because you not using her like a rag doll will make her question her entire existence. Next, begin fucking her in missionary position (eye contact!) and when you guys both seem to be somewhat getting into it, tell her you love her. She'll instantly become repulsed, but now, even though she's now only dreaming of leaving, she'll stay because of her lower than dirt self-worth.

You have her freaked out and thinking of leaving, but like all crazy bitches, she won't leave! So what now, you say? While in the middle of fucking her, slowllyyy ease yourself out of her, and get into a squatting position over her. I can't stress this enough, eye contact is critical here. Now while looking at her lovingly, drop a giant deuce right on her chest. The end.
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Ha!
 
D

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
Whatwhat_sl said:
If for whatever reason you decide to let this ho come to your place of residents and she stalks you this this is how you get rid of her:

First what you're going to do is take her by the hand and slowly walk her into the room, be gentle (this is important; she is not use to thing we call hand holding!). Maintain eye contact through all of this btw. Next you're going lay her down on the bed and slowly remove all her clothes. Begin to gently caress her body. This is where she'll really start to freak out because you not using her like a rag doll will make her question her entire existence. Next, begin fucking her in missionary position (eye contact!) and when you guys both seem to be somewhat getting into it, tell her you love her. She'll instantly become repulsed, but now, even though she's now only dreaming of leaving, she'll stay because of her lower than dirt self-worth.

You have her freaked out and thinking of leaving, but like all crazy bitches, she won't leave! So what now, you say? While in the middle of fucking her, slowllyyy ease yourself out of her, and get into a squatting position over her. I can't stress this enough, eye contact is critical here. Now while looking at her lovingly, drop a giant deuce right on her chest. The end.
Click to expand...
lol

In all seriousness, I've always wondered if the best way to get rid of a crazy girl is to do the exact opposite from your "run away!" instincts. Tell her you love her, talk about moving in together, kids, house chores, kid names, moving to Florida together when you retire, how your whole family is excited for your wedding, etc. For good measure come home in tears because the guys at work were teasing you. I bet it's way more effective than avoiding her.
 
T

The Ancient_sl

shitlord
7,386
16
Dabamf_sl said:
lol

In all seriousness, I've always wondered if the best way to get rid of a crazy girl is to do the exact opposite from your "run away!" instincts. Tell her you love her, talk about moving in together, kids, house chores, kid names, moving to Florida together when you retire, how your whole family is excited for your wedding, etc. For good measure come home in tears because the guys at work were teasing you. I bet it's way more effective than avoiding her.
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You should try it sometime and let us know how it goes.
 
S

Salshun_sl

shitlord
1,003
0
Dabamf_sl said:
lol

In all seriousness, I've always wondered if the best way to get rid of a crazy girl is to do the exact opposite from your "run away!" instincts. Tell her you love her, talk about moving in together, kids, house chores, kid names, moving to Florida together when you retire, how your whole family is excited for your wedding, etc. For good measure come home in tears because the guys at work were teasing you. I bet it's way more effective than avoiding her.
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The downside, and is a MAJOR fucking downside, is that it will be something she's never seen before, some "settle down" instinct will kick in, and she'll want to hit up the courthouse in the morning.
 
McCheese

McCheese

SW: Sean, CW: Crone, GW: Wizardhawk
6,922
4,327
Dabamf_sl said:
lol

In all seriousness, I've always wondered if the best way to get rid of a crazy girl is to do the exact opposite from your "run away!" instincts. Tell her you love her, talk about moving in together, kids, house chores, kid names, moving to Florida together when you retire, how your whole family is excited for your wedding, etc. For good measure come home in tears because the guys at work were teasing you. I bet it's way more effective than avoiding her.
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That might work with crazy aged 18-22, but trying that with most mid-20s crazies could have terrible results. Even crazies have biological clocks tick, tick, ticking away.
 
A

Antarius

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,828
15
Dabamf_sl said:
Well crazy girls generally don't like me, so one of you will have to do it

for science
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Salshun_sl said:
The downside, and is a MAJOR fucking downside, is that it will be something she's never seen before, some "settle down" instinct will kick in, and she'll want to hit up the courthouse in the morning.
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And then she will marry the very next guy she meets/fucks the week after breaking up with you.

I saw it in a movie starring Zooey Deschanel, must be true.
 
001001102

001001102

Golden Knight of the Realm
353
108
Antarius_sl said:
And then she will marry the very next guy she meets/fucks the week after breaking up with you.

I saw it in a movie starring Zooey Deschanel, must be true.
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Are you sure that's how it goes down bro? I mean.. That chick is just so quirky.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,566
15,957
So, I have a mini-rant involving chicks and sexting..

I was sexting some chick last night and she must have asked at least 4-5 times "How hard are you!?". I swear, every girl I've ever sexted has done theexactsame thing. I realize that this is the best mental visual women have to determine if we are turned on or not, but what the fuck do they expect you to say? "Uhhh...it's like Madusa just stared at my fucking cock!" "Let's put it this way: If you were to take a ping-pong paddle and smack it against my cock right now, I'd shatter that fucking paddle into sub-atomic particles!"

Anyways...just yet another thing that women do that is annoying as hell.
 
TheBeagle

TheBeagle

JunkiesNetwork Donor
9,004
31,344
Kirun_sl said:
So, I have a mini-rant involving chicks and sexting..

I was sexting some chick last night and she must have asked at least 4-5 times "How hard are you!?". I swear, every girl I've ever sexted has done theexactsame thing. I realize that this is the best mental visual women have to determine if we are turned on or not, but what the fuck do they expect you to say? "Uhhh...it's like Madusa just stared at my fucking cock!" "Let's put it this way: If you were to take a ping-pong paddle and smack it against my cock right now, I'd shatter that fucking paddle into sub-atomic particles!"

Anyways...just yet another thing that women do that is annoying as hell.
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You know how I know you're gay?

You get annoyed when chicks ask you how hard you are...
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,566
15,957
TheBeagle_sl said:
You know how I know you're gay?

You get annoyed when chicks ask you how hard you are...
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It's fine to ask me a time or two, but to keep fucking asking? More to the point, what do they expect? "How hard are you!?" "Really hard." "How hard are you?" "Really fucking hard." "How hard are you" "Uhhh...is this a trick question? I'm still fucking hard." "How are are you?" "FFFFFFFFFFFFFF just as hard as the last 4 times you asked. It doesn't get any goddamn harder!"
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,566
15,957
That was actually one of the responses I gave and shestillfucking asked 2 more goddamn times.
 
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