The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread
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cabbitcabbit
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Titan_Atlas
Deus Vult
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Gonne throw my heartbreak in here. First time i've really been heartbroken as i have generally broke up with a girl after being kinda done with them for a while but financially tied or whatnot for a few months. I had a thread a while ago in the adult section about a 24 year old i started dating at work, i am 37. As it turned out we were pretty amazing together and had a lot in common despite the age difference. We ended up in a really great relationship for the last 5 months. She is leaving at the beginning of April for a trip to Europe for 3.5 months. That did produce a fair amount of stress at times as she and me were trying to deal with the emotions involved with her leaving.
Anyways, last weekend Sunday/Monday i screwed up bigtime. On Sunday i asked her to come over for sex and breakfast before her shift Sunday morning. She texted me around 4pm saying she was going to Bellingham (where she went to college) to visit a guy friend only in town for 1 night she wanted to see. She was going to see other friends but in the text only mentioned him. I got very uncomfortable and instead of just saying it made me uncomfortable i went internal and just went way too far. I sent a nice breakup text around 6pm and then immediately regretted it and not knowing she was closing called her phione a bunch of times. We talked after she got off and kinda reconciled but she said if i did any shit like that again it was gonna be bad. I then got very little sleep and sent a more nasty breakup in the morning calling her a crappy girlfriend. I also stupidly took her things and dropped them off at her house. So needless to say she was incredibly mad and i did alot of begging to no good resolution. I kept asking for a chance to take her out and make it up but she kinda just turned off because of my actions.
So it's now 5 days later and this morning we talked a bit and she asked me to be her friend for the last month because it would make her very happy. So the crux is that i really was in love with her, more than honestly any girl i've ever been with. I floated the idea of maybe a friends with benefits to preserve the intimacy. She has said she wants me in her life so maybe in the future when she is actually ready to settle down on some level we will see what happens. She feels i cannot handle the FWB which i'm not totally sure is true. The feelings are going to exist anyways, and we really did have a great sex life. I truly believe she loves me and i just really hurt her with my actions, especially with all the stress of the upcoming trip. So as heartbroken as i am right now i am taking what i can get with friendship. We interacted very well at work tonight and had a beer afterwards in which we talked for an hour about stuff. She has agreed to go to a Sounders soccer game with me on the 29th. So bro's and Ladies of rerolled, what do you think of this and what is my course of action to maybe, just maybe not lose this amazing person i love soo much?
Anyways, last weekend Sunday/Monday i screwed up bigtime. On Sunday i asked her to come over for sex and breakfast before her shift Sunday morning. She texted me around 4pm saying she was going to Bellingham (where she went to college) to visit a guy friend only in town for 1 night she wanted to see. She was going to see other friends but in the text only mentioned him. I got very uncomfortable and instead of just saying it made me uncomfortable i went internal and just went way too far. I sent a nice breakup text around 6pm and then immediately regretted it and not knowing she was closing called her phione a bunch of times. We talked after she got off and kinda reconciled but she said if i did any shit like that again it was gonna be bad. I then got very little sleep and sent a more nasty breakup in the morning calling her a crappy girlfriend. I also stupidly took her things and dropped them off at her house. So needless to say she was incredibly mad and i did alot of begging to no good resolution. I kept asking for a chance to take her out and make it up but she kinda just turned off because of my actions.
So it's now 5 days later and this morning we talked a bit and she asked me to be her friend for the last month because it would make her very happy. So the crux is that i really was in love with her, more than honestly any girl i've ever been with. I floated the idea of maybe a friends with benefits to preserve the intimacy. She has said she wants me in her life so maybe in the future when she is actually ready to settle down on some level we will see what happens. She feels i cannot handle the FWB which i'm not totally sure is true. The feelings are going to exist anyways, and we really did have a great sex life. I truly believe she loves me and i just really hurt her with my actions, especially with all the stress of the upcoming trip. So as heartbroken as i am right now i am taking what i can get with friendship. We interacted very well at work tonight and had a beer afterwards in which we talked for an hour about stuff. She has agreed to go to a Sounders soccer game with me on the 29th. So bro's and Ladies of rerolled, what do you think of this and what is my course of action to maybe, just maybe not lose this amazing person i love soo much?
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Sounds like you're a monumental fuckup and you've blown any chance you ever had with this chick. I mean wtf, two nasty break up texts in a 12 hour period? How retarded are you? I'm a mentally ill forever alone who could get dumped by an anime pillow and I'm probably better with relationships than you are.
Titan_Atlas
Deus Vult
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I'd attempt to argue against this but honestly I think you are right. I have no idea how I let it get this far. I think there is a shred of ability to fix this. So what is your opinion on that?
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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She was fucking him, good plays.
Masturbate furiously everyday for a week. All will be cured.
Masturbate furiously everyday for a week. All will be cured.
Gavinmad
Mr. Poopybutthole
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Get counseling for your clear mental instability, and let her know you're going to counseling. If you haven't scared her off for good that's likely your only chance.
Lusiphur
Peasant
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There's your problem right there. You fucked up. If you want to fix this you need to be showing her the stuff about you that she likes and not the needy, insecure idiot you were over that weekend. So, back off but be available. Keep it friendly and make it plain you know you fucked up and are prepared to fix it if possible. Do NOT get all up in her shit. You will get dumped hard.
That all being said, she is 24 and you are 37. She will be asking herself why she would even put up with this shit. I reckon it's cooked so just enjoy what time you get with her before she leaves.
Lejina
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
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Looks like she's more emotionally mature than you are and has a better grasp on what is going on than you do.
You lost your shit and turned into a trainwreck when she mentioned she was going to see some guy. To get uncomfortable is normal, but being 13 years older, you're expected to handle it smoother than that. Chicks going out with older guys do it in no small part because we're more confident and mature.
Titan_Atlas
Deus Vult
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Partly true for sure. Another part of this equation is she has an electra complex. Her dad didn't want girls and didn't really pay attention to her and her sister as a kid. So she really goes after mens attention in social situations. Alot of blatant flirting without intent. So most of the relationship especially when she drank she would kinda make sure all male attention was on her in social situations. I have always been a pretty confident guy in relationships but honestly it really seeded my insecurity. If she drank hard alcohol she would go till sloppy and really blackout her actions. So when she announced the trip to bellingham i was very uncomfortable and worried she might get too drunk and mess up. As far as i know she never cheated on me during our relationship, i don't believe she would have. It just doesn't make you entirely confident and trusting when the person doesn't see how doing that stuff creates problems for the person who loves them. I honestly always thought i could deal with the flirting thing because of all the amazing things about her and how great our relationship was other than that. It was obviously adding up though and under pressure i let it get to me in the worst possible way.
Djay
Trakanon Raider
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There's still no justification there for sending the texts you did. If you can't trust her, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with her anyway. Just going to mirror what the others are saying...you need to grow up and mature on your own. Once you've done that, maybe you can have a healthy relationship with someone. Whether it's her or not isn't important right now...you need to work on your issues first.
kegkilla
The Big Mod
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the relationship is fucked beyond repair. time to move on. you've shown your hand and now she knows how pitifully insecure and immature you are, she will never respect you.
Big Phoenix
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popsicledeath
Potato del Grande
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Guys, the emotionally unstable girl I was seeing because I'm emotionally unstable and go for girls I can't get unless they're emotionally unstable started acting emotionally unstable and of course I reacted in an emotionally unstable way. The relationship was the most stable I've ever had, so how do I save it?!?!
And don't dare tell me to just use it as an opportunity to mature and move on, damn it, because the sex was really good which is my heart is now broken!!!
And don't dare tell me to just use it as an opportunity to mature and move on, damn it, because the sex was really good which is my heart is now broken!!!
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Its a learning process, and hopefully don't get tied down while learning. However at 37 its harder to justify not having learned this stuff yet.
Titan_Atlas
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An update, as i took what you guys said to heart and spoke to others in my life about things. I suffer from emotional insecurity. From all the reading i've been doing it can show in two ways. Under commitment and over. So what happened was in all my previous relationships i've been under. They have pretty much accused me of being unemotional, cold, and non expressive. My insecurity was manifesting by not fully letting my walls down to protect from the future rejection. This particular woman for a few reasons cause the opposite which was over commitment and some really manic behavior that i've never had before. It was really flabbergasting to me what i was doing but i just lost control. In the past i just believed i am a non emotional person and an introvert and have not reinforced a lot of the confidence building things in my life i should have.
So anyways today i bought a self help book which i have never done in my life. I reached out to some of the guys at work who asked me to hang out and i have avoided. I am going to endeavor to build some friendships which i haven't done for years. I am going to get out and build a social circle. Also going to get some outside activities when i don't have my daughter and put some positives back into my life to start rebuilding confidence in myself. Then maybe the next time i meet someone i really like i can do the things i should to have a good, healthy relationship.
Anyways, all future negative comments aside, you guys helped me to look and i found out what's broken so i appreciate your input.
So anyways today i bought a self help book which i have never done in my life. I reached out to some of the guys at work who asked me to hang out and i have avoided. I am going to endeavor to build some friendships which i haven't done for years. I am going to get out and build a social circle. Also going to get some outside activities when i don't have my daughter and put some positives back into my life to start rebuilding confidence in myself. Then maybe the next time i meet someone i really like i can do the things i should to have a good, healthy relationship.
Anyways, all future negative comments aside, you guys helped me to look and i found out what's broken so i appreciate your input.
popsicledeath
Potato del Grande
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Sounds like you're choosing to learn from the experience and move on. Probably for the best. There will be others.
Dacianprick King In The North
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