Not a "girl who broke your heart" issue, but I guess this fits into the thread for lack of a better place. We didn't get close enough for any heartbreak.
I went out with this woman for a few weeks recently. Early 30's, very nice style and clothes, petite, great skin, very pretty face ( but a bit skinnier than I like women to be honest.) She has a four year degree and a good job. Very outwardly kind and empathetic, we went to a few dinners, some cultural this and that, a show, walked around the city sometimes showing each other things, and so on. A good time was had by all, lots of communication in between dates, positive vibes. Ended up in bed a couple of times in the last week, everything was fine. More than fine, even, she seemed elated and gave off obvious hints I was doing everything right. So, I was digging this whole thing pretty well.
I sent her a text, nothing out of the ordinary. She replies back two hours later very curtly and with no explanation "I'm not really feeling things with you, and you text too much." So, I was like ooookay. Bear in mind she initiated communication more than I did, so I know that wasn't true. I consider myself really good at keeping communication even-keeled with the other person and not being overbearing. So I thought to myself that's a weird thing to say when things were seemingly going so well. I was almost more bemused by it than saddened. I asked her why she felt that way and if I said or did something wrong, and she replied back with the same thing.
Here's where shit gets weird. Normally, given the information, I'd Google-fu the shit out of someone as soon as possible, but for whatever reason, I hadn't got to it yet with her. So I Google her full name. It finds an old Myspace account. Old Myspace account name is an internet nickname. I Google her nickname...what do I find? Forums where she discusses having borderline personality disorder spanning back several years. Fuck's sake! Everything was too good to be true. I confirmed it was her, talking about the city she lives in, correct details, and it was a really unique moniker.
In a roundabout way, I confronted her with it without saying I found out she had it, in an e-mail. She responded back "I have no such thing! You shouldn't accuse me of that, don't write me again, blah blah blah." Then she said "never contact me again." An hour later: "I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have told me I have BPD, you should have asked," along with some other stuff. Said once again: "This will be my last message to you." I responded back, paraphrasing from a longer e-mail, which I wrote very kindly: "I understand, sorry for accusing you of having BPD, if you'd ever like to talk about it, feel free to e-mail me."
So a few days pass with no contact. Surprise! I see an e-mail from her again, after being told twice she wouldn't contact me again.
"I received a notification someone has been trying to access my gmail account. I don't know if it was you, but please stop if you are, because it's creepy and inappropriate. Sorry if you aren't the one doing it, I apologize, and please disregard this message if so."
I very calmly told her "I don't even know your gmail address, ergo I have no way to attempt such a thing, nor would I if I could." Which is true, I don't even know her gmail address.
Reading about BPD this weekend (I had only heard of it before) I found out it is a hallmark of BPD people to just flip on you for no reason, and to make accusations out of the clear blue.
Oy. What an interesting ride that was. I somehow don't think she'll stay away, either. Looking back while knowing now she has BPD I can sort of pick up on things I missed the first time around. For instance, I don't think she's ever had a long term relationship before, for obvious reasons. Made some hints about trust issues and other things too, but I had at first dismissed them as typical stuff women say.
