The Oscars Best Picture fuckup

earthfell

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Calling it now: there will be an article from Slate or Huffington Post about how even though Moonlight won white people still made it all about them.
 
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Feanor

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First rule is you don't give up the punchline. This may have been an orchestrated mistake; trolling has gone mainstream. None of it would have happened had Screamfeeder Screamfeeder been there to mop up the gay jizz.
 
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Screamfeeder

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The director of La La Land handled that perfectly. Well played.
In hindsight, I think he should have just invited every group that was nominated for best picture up, handed the mic to the Moonlight director and made some corny "we stand together" speech. Or Jimmy should have blamed Damon.
 
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Screamfeeder

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First rule is you don't give up the punchline. This may have been an orchestrated mistake; trolling has gone mainstream. None of it would have happened had Screamfeeder Screamfeeder been there to mop up the gay jizz.
I seriously would have written it better. Leo wins last year after so long which gives him carte blanche to fuck up the great Warren Beatty by passing off the wrong envelope via bro hug (he learned that trick from true mastermind Matt Damon who learned it while researching his role on Oceans Eleven) , leading to white tears of happiness that turn to horror as the darkness ascends the stage to rip away their award (the feels story being obviously better over the better production even if it was Hollywood self masturbation...its a double parable). Curtain falls as we see Emma Stone, confused and bewildered with a single tear being bent over the podium as the entire Moonlight production team unzip. Roll credits with a BLM PSA. Screamfeeder is now hired to write superbowl commercials and buys a second boat. You morons rate this post salty and think it matters.

fin.

Also, I mop jizz. Not gay jizz. Not straight jizz or trans jizz or xen jizz. Just jizz. You got jizz of any kind? I mop it and I mop it better than fucking anyone. I am a goddamn professional.
 
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Himeo

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If you want to go that route, there was a great closing line on Reddit.

"Two pictures won Best Movie tonight, and neither of them featured Matt Damon."
 
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Screamfeeder

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"Two pictures won Best Movie tonight, and neither of them featured Matt Damon."
Funny thing is, Matt is also one of the nicest guys in Hollywood. He would have rolled with those jokes like a pro.
 
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Regime

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
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Am I a bad person for not watching LA LA or even hearing of Moonlight?
 
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Screamfeeder

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Am I a bad person for not watching LA LA or even hearing of Moonlight?
La La Land was Hollywood people making a movie about coming from the hardscrabble origins they wish they came from (even though most of them have an uncle that ran an studio and got fast tracked into producing). It was pretentious garbage with some EXCELLENT original music and production design.

Moonlight was a stereotypical "black kid has it rough and finds himself but still has it rough" story. The actors portraying the main guy were fantastic(especially considering the director never let them meet) but it was REALLY on the nose.

That's it.

Now, if you haven't seen Hell or High Water or Hacksaw Ridge, then I am going to come at you heavy.
 
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Chukzombi

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the fake news is hilarious, iranian director was banned because of trump's travel ban! meanwhile they were celebrating blocking it. the truth was, this fucking guy could have come here except the turkish government found some shit on him and wouldnt allow him to fly. i guess trump tells erdogan what to do and he had to stop this one fucking guy.
 
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Chukzombi

Millie's Staff Member
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Am I a bad person for not watching LA LA or even hearing of Moonlight?
nope, i didnt even bother watching any of the oscar films, could care less if i ever saw them. with exception of mel gibson's film, his stuff is always interesting.
 

Screamfeeder

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the fake news is hilarious, iranian director was banned because of trump's travel ban! meanwhile they were celebrating blocking it. the truth was, this fucking guy could have come here except the turkish government found some shit on him and wouldnt allow him to fly. i guess trump tells erdogan what to do and he had to stop this one fucking guy.
Yeah. Your post is actual #fakenews. He boycotted the event. Everyone is reporting exactly that.
 
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Screamfeeder

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inb4 he claims torrented.
Yeah, even then he just gave us good marketing data. Actually, I am pretty ashamed astr0 likes a movie I had any sort of hand in creating. It honestly makes me want to re-evaluate my entire life.
 
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Feanor

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Am I a bad person for not watching LA LA or even hearing of Moonlight?
Haven't seen either picture.

tumblr_olp03imuz81qewacoo1_540-jpg.122624
 
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jayrebb

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Caught Taraji going live during it, and I pressed the pop-up without even thinking about her being there. It was great to get the in-room experience right at the immediate dais-- ground-zero, as it turns out she was seated right up front.

She had Denzel, Samuel Jackson, Nicole Kidman + Karl Urban, and a slew of other people in her immediate area. It was great. She went nuts, some adorable emoting by her.

Her voice and black southern charm made the moment. Denzel could have gave a fuck less. Nicole was great at pretending to care. Taraji was shameless about putting her phone in her face. I'm lolling IRL at the brazenness of her flipping her phone around during the Oscars on random A+ listers. Urban kept his back turned.

As she sobered up from the moment I think she realized people that were not named Samuel L Jackson might not want to be recorded, or in this case, broadcasted live, from the Oscar floor during the ceremony.

She's awesome.
 
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