Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

These movies are pretty bad, but at this point it's a known quantity so people shouldn't be surprised with what they're getting when they go watch one.

Bigguy28 said:

Last one shit the bed something fierce, how can you manage to screw up the Dinobots so terribly? This one looks like it's going to roll around in the bed and shit it again.

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Honestly the Dinobots seemed fine to me. It's been a little while since I watched the G1 show but the Dinobots just Dinobotted around being Dinobots so whatever. All of these movies (except for 2) have been meh to decent but each have major flaws that really detract. I will watch (and probably rewatch, except for 2nd one) all of them because I just cannot get enough Transformers in any fashion. I don't mind the alternate forms, I don't mind some of the human elements, but there's always some goddamn idiocy or something in the movies that throws the whole thing askew even worse.

Also I dunno how you say they screwed up Starscream, you could interchange Starscream from the live movies with him from any of the G1 episodes or comics and not notice. Starscream is one of the most 1-dimensional of the characters and they managed to get him right at least.

It looks like this movie will fuck up Unicron so that sucks but whatever. Hopefully it's closer to 3 in quality than one of the other ones. If you take number 3 as a standalone it's actually decent.

The only thing I remember about the Dinobots from the old cartoon was the head one (Grimlock) constantly shouting "GRIMLOCK ANGRY!" or some other descriptive verb the same variety.

number 5 right? oh boy.....there will be 7 movies of this shit, mark my mords

kegkilla said:

One of the things I really like about these movies is that there is a really dark undertone to the robots, both the Autobots and Decepticons, that really has no place in a kids movie. The violence between the robots is pretty fucking brutal too. The third one ends with Optimus getting brutally fucked up by Sentinel to the point that he's begging for his life, only to be saved by a shotgun wielding Megatron to which Optimus returns the favor by decapitating Megatron with an axe then capping a crippled Sentinel with a shotgun blast to the head. There is even blood and shit that pours out when the robots get injured it's fucking great.

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There was dark shit in the official comics / G1 movie / spinoffs but it was sporadic to be sure. I mean fuck the Quintessons were huge assholes, and in more recent canon they're like galactic-level assholes that enslave entire planets for their own purposes by being space-oil-salesmen. Unicron was great in the original movie.

As bad(ish) as these live action movies are, some of the worst Transformers' media is honestly the original cartoon show, for the most part. I heard one of the newer ones was godawful too but I never watched that particular one so can't comment. The original comics were great at the time but haven't aged super well (much like the X-Men I suppose). One of the things I actually appreciate about the Transformers IP is that basically everything is its own universe, the original cartoons and comics actually deviate in a lot of areas despite being theoretically the same characters, then you have Beast wars, the live movies, the new shows, newer comics, the games, etc. Everything gets to interpret the concept in their own way. You can just pick the one you like the most and live with it. It's almost like Sherlock Holmes where you have dozens of versions of him everywhere and you'll like some and hate others.

Nicola Peltz is by far the worst part of the the new Wahlberg Transformers, because every time I see her or hear her voice or even read her name, I'm forcibly reminded of the inconceivably terrible live action Last Airbender movie.

The last one was unwatchable. Saw it on Hulu and still fast forwarded most of it, absolute garbage movies ever since 2. Even the "action" scenes are terrible.

Does anyone miss Megan Fox? The new girl kind of looked like her in one of the scenes in that trailer.

Xarpolis said:

Does anyone miss Megan Fox? The new girl kind of looked like her in one of the scenes in that trailer.

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Does she do porn and show her asshole finally? If not, then no she's completely irrelevant.

Twilight Sparkle said:

Nicola Peltz is by far the worst part of the the new Wahlberg Transformers, because every time I see her or hear her voice or even read her name, I'm forcibly reminded of the inconceivably terrible live action Last Airbender movie.

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I managed to dodge that bullet so I can just eyebang her as Michael Bay intended

It was pretty funny seeing a dad find out his underage daughter's boyfriend keeps statutory rape laws in his wallet.

A few years back, I think even before rerolled, there was a link to an article about the transformer movie written from the perspective that Michael bay is actually a genius. It talked about how it was basically his swan song for everything that is wrong with the summer blockbuster. He would make the most unlikable film and still make millions by following super simple film beats.

One of the really interesting ideas he had was that Optimus prime was actually this series' villian. At first you want to be like, ugh no. But then when you see how systematically villian like he is you really start to think about how he might be right.

For example, everytime he kills someone, he aims for the face, the most distinguishable part. He's not just trying to dispatch them, he's trying to brutally destroy them beyond recognition. Also, he is CONSTANTLY lying to the humans. The whole dues ex machina from the third one is that they never left earth when they said they were going to.

Anyway, it was really interesting, if not meth fueled and I'd like to see if that dude ever added the wahlberg film to his theory

I know Peltz from Bates Motel. She's hot, but I found her hottness inconsistent in this movie.
I had to look up Avatar. I saw that PoS. Best part was seeing souls of the audience getting crushed, especially the cosplayers.
Katara Peltz might as well be written off as a separate person. Brown hair. Dreads. No makeup.

I love Transformers enough that I keep hatewatching these films even though they are abominations.
Last one was best one. However, watching it after watching Avengers reveals just how much the characters as movie elements are wasted.
With this next one, I want the pointless cursing removed and terrible humor greatly reduced.