TrollfaceDeux
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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What tickles your pickle
- Thread starter Kreugen
- Start date
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Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!
Go here and give us your nominations!Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Palum
what Suineg set it to
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There's at least two to three of you guys on every corner and at every gas station around here.
When you meet two people at a gas station holding a 2 gal gas can asking for money for gas but unwilling to take free gas in the can from the pump a few times you stop giving away money.
Sucks that's what society is in many places but fuck panhandlers.
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Yeah, I hear you. This guy was no fool, he didn't actually give me five bucks cash, he went to the attendant and paid for $5 worth of gas. I think it also helped that I didn't ask him for money, he offered help. He's just a fine bloke, and I still smile big just thinking about how great the gesture was nearly a day later.
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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The Eclipse mania is giving me good chortles lately. Especially the hysteria about insta blindness from looking at it. I keep saying things to torque the concern trolls off like "Don't worry, I'll just drive with my eclipse glasses on to be on the safe side" and "During the full eclipse when the sun is at it's brightest". One this morning expressed concern that not enough was being done to protect pets.
For fuck's sake, my friends and I used to have contests to see who could stare directly at the sun the longest when we were kids. If memory serves, we got somewhere around 20-30 seconds and none of us ever went blind. Well, Eddie did, but we're pretty sure his bad eyesight is from excessive masturbation. Makes me wonder what these people do when they're driving and the sun is coming directly into their eyes at too low of an angle to block with a sun visor. I don't see people pulling over to the side of the road for those few minutes every day.
Anyway, time to take a walk and cheer on the sky dragon that's eating.
For fuck's sake, my friends and I used to have contests to see who could stare directly at the sun the longest when we were kids. If memory serves, we got somewhere around 20-30 seconds and none of us ever went blind. Well, Eddie did, but we're pretty sure his bad eyesight is from excessive masturbation. Makes me wonder what these people do when they're driving and the sun is coming directly into their eyes at too low of an angle to block with a sun visor. I don't see people pulling over to the side of the road for those few minutes every day.
Anyway, time to take a walk and cheer on the sky dragon that's eating.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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So About 15 minutes ago I get a call from an unknown number. I decide to act like I'm a mexican maid so I can do the whole "no no nooo. missa hoss no here. no. nooooo. no"
But it turns out its a butt dial because I head a car door open and ding and close. I think this is the second time today this number has but dialed me so I hand on and it's a woman who is fucking pissed at some dude. She is calling him a liar, a fucking asshole, and idiot (you don't paint over that you fucking idiot), and some mexican insults too like puta and pendejo. Every once in a while she goes into some desi arnez tirades. So i'm waiting for her to look at her phone and I'm going to ask her what she's wearing.
How long can I listen before I'm a bad person?
I hear his voice but I can't make out what he's saying. He doesn't seem upset. This is hilarious. I'm halfway hoping it's an ex, but I don't remember any with tempers like this, and I should have all their numbers saved. Might be a stripper I gave my number too.
But it turns out its a butt dial because I head a car door open and ding and close. I think this is the second time today this number has but dialed me so I hand on and it's a woman who is fucking pissed at some dude. She is calling him a liar, a fucking asshole, and idiot (you don't paint over that you fucking idiot), and some mexican insults too like puta and pendejo. Every once in a while she goes into some desi arnez tirades. So i'm waiting for her to look at her phone and I'm going to ask her what she's wearing.
How long can I listen before I'm a bad person?
I hear his voice but I can't make out what he's saying. He doesn't seem upset. This is hilarious. I'm halfway hoping it's an ex, but I don't remember any with tempers like this, and I should have all their numbers saved. Might be a stripper I gave my number too.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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hour and 15 minutes before I really started feeling guilty. Then I thought "I wonder if there will be makeup sex". Then after 96 minutes I hear the cunt pick up the phone and hang it up before I can deliver my line. Bitch didn't even say hello and ask who it was or anything.
This was very disappointing. What am i supposed to jerk off to now?
This was very disappointing. What am i supposed to jerk off to now?
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Palum
what Suineg set it to
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Maybe five ago now I get a text from a random number some Friday evening.
"Hey girlfriend, how you been?"
Tl:dr, I convinced this apparent group of teenage girls to leave the mall because "I" had picked up the best friend at the house already and to drive to a "way better" movie theater twenty miles away and to purchase IMAX tickets.
I got a bunch of "fuck you" and "you stupid asshole" later on when they figured it out.
Guess you shouldn't assume
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Thanks bro. That got me there.
I used to have a nextel phone # that had previously belonged to a drug dealer. Probably 5 times I heard that chirp in the middle of the night with some dude asking if I was holdin, or whatever and wanting to make a buy. I fucked with them in various ways.
The first one I didn't because I didn't know what was going on. He explained it to me.
Then I did a "dave's not here man" for one.
Sent a couple to a street corner to wait and when he chirped me that he was there I said I was too and that he was full of shit "YOU BETTER NOT BE SETTING ME UP MAN"
I told one I was a cop because I didn't feel like fucking with it that night.
I used to have a nextel phone # that had previously belonged to a drug dealer. Probably 5 times I heard that chirp in the middle of the night with some dude asking if I was holdin, or whatever and wanting to make a buy. I fucked with them in various ways.
The first one I didn't because I didn't know what was going on. He explained it to me.
Then I did a "dave's not here man" for one.
Sent a couple to a street corner to wait and when he chirped me that he was there I said I was too and that he was full of shit "YOU BETTER NOT BE SETTING ME UP MAN"
I told one I was a cop because I didn't feel like fucking with it that night.
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Brad2770
Avatar of War Slayer
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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This was a borderline jimmy rustle. More listening in on the next table's conversation at lunch. This time they were bitching about a new guy at the office because he didn't immediately take a tour of the office to introduce himself and find out what everyone does. One of the guys even said he'd walked by his office a few times and he's always busy.
Why, the NERVE of that jackass! Being an introvert, I clearly feel for the new guy. If it bothers you so much, go introduce yourself. Fucking hell, the new guy is probably overwhelmed. Fucking normies. The only thing I can say in defense of these guys is that they sounded like salesmen, and I'm sure you're all aware that salesman gigs attract social butterfly wierdos. But still, they don't have to act like gossiping women.
Why, the NERVE of that jackass! Being an introvert, I clearly feel for the new guy. If it bothers you so much, go introduce yourself. Fucking hell, the new guy is probably overwhelmed. Fucking normies. The only thing I can say in defense of these guys is that they sounded like salesmen, and I'm sure you're all aware that salesman gigs attract social butterfly wierdos. But still, they don't have to act like gossiping women.
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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I did 23 and me and I agreed to participate in their research. I got to a point where they want me to do a cold pressor test. Now, I didn't know anything about it but it involves ice water and is supposed to help researchers gain insight on pain responses. So I get to hurt myself for science and I'm fucking ecstatic. I don't even give a shit about the $10 gift card they're offering. They don't have my real name so I probably can't even use it.
Oh and speaking of 23 and me, I also signed up for their family research thing. They match you with others who have close enough DNA that they're probably related to you. Apparently one of my idiot distant relatives thinks it's appalachain tinder, cause she sent me a message saying I was cute and asking where I lived. 23 and me said we were likely 3rd or 4th cousins, and she was cute, and I don't know her. So I sent her a message back saying she was cute too but this isn't a dating app unless you wanna have retard babies. She just responded back she wasn't worried, she'd have an abortion if it came to that.
Oh and speaking of 23 and me, I also signed up for their family research thing. They match you with others who have close enough DNA that they're probably related to you. Apparently one of my idiot distant relatives thinks it's appalachain tinder, cause she sent me a message saying I was cute and asking where I lived. 23 and me said we were likely 3rd or 4th cousins, and she was cute, and I don't know her. So I sent her a message back saying she was cute too but this isn't a dating app unless you wanna have retard babies. She just responded back she wasn't worried, she'd have an abortion if it came to that.
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Gamma Rays
Large sized member
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Quite a warm day today, wind gusting.
I had already spotted a quite tasty MILF, fit, long blond hair.
A strong breeze just lifts her light weight dress up, giving a nice view, she was wearing black thong panties.
Not my photo, butt similar:
I had already spotted a quite tasty MILF, fit, long blond hair.
A strong breeze just lifts her light weight dress up, giving a nice view, she was wearing black thong panties.
Not my photo, butt similar:
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Araxen
Golden Baronet of the Realm
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Borzak
Bronze Baron of the Realm
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Best morning I've had in a very very long time. Or best entirely actually.
Friend stopped by with his wife and his wife's sister. They were driving out of town for the holiday. Short conversation about they were going to go to a concert. I said "I used to be a good 2-stepper". Long story short I did a few minutes of 2-stepping. We didn't have room in the house so dad thew down some sawdust on the shop floor, just like a lot of dives I've been in. Was entertaining for a few any way.
Friend stopped by with his wife and his wife's sister. They were driving out of town for the holiday. Short conversation about they were going to go to a concert. I said "I used to be a good 2-stepper". Long story short I did a few minutes of 2-stepping. We didn't have room in the house so dad thew down some sawdust on the shop floor, just like a lot of dives I've been in. Was entertaining for a few any way.
