What tickles your pickle

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Maximis Velocity

Maximis Velocity

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The stick isn't the problem. My knee doesn't like clutching all day long in traffic.
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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Maximis Velocity said:
The stick isn't the problem. My knee doesn't like clutching all day long in traffic.
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My favorite stick I ever drove had a clutch so stiff that I could stand completely up on it and not engage it. And I was a fatass back then. My goddam leg was burning by the end of the day. When I dropped it off with the company mechanic I asked him to move the clutch to the right side so I could even my legs out.

Since we're talking about it, I learned how to drive a stick by valet paring at a night club. Why burn through my own clutch when I can fuck up yours? When I got a stick, I'd just sit and wait for them to go into the club so they wouldn't see me stall it 3 times before dumping the clutch.
 
Aamry

Aamry

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Hoss said:
My favorite stick I ever drove had a clutch so stiff that I could stand completely up on it and not engage it. And I was a fatass back then. My goddam leg was burning by the end of the day. When I dropped it off with the company mechanic I asked him to move the clutch to the right side so I could even my legs out.

Since we're talking about it, I learned how to drive a stick by valet paring at a night club. Why burn through my own clutch when I can fuck up yours? When I got a stick, I'd just sit and wait for them to go into the club so they wouldn't see me stall it 3 times before dumping the clutch.
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I learned to drive stick on a clapped out 90's Camaro. Loosest clutch, shifting was so easy. Then I test drove a like-new Miata and the clutch grabbed like a fat person eating cake without utensils. Was a world of difference.
 
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Sludig

Sludig

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Depends on the car imo. Some the clutch is so light and the pedal box/chair ergo's perfect you can go all day. Others and 10 minutes of stop and go and I'm in agony. So I'm more than happy my Jag is auto and we are likely to get a miata or something for fun in a few years just for weekend fun throwing gears, and not likely to be stuck in commuting traffic.

For ease of use and being lazy, I do much prefer slipper clutches on motorcycles compared to car trans. Always felt so gunshy about damaging/causing wear on a car clutch I probably sometimes was jerkier than need be trying to not ride it. Vs a bike, modulating the clutch is a very ideal way of controling low speed.
 
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MusicForFish

MusicForFish

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Erronius said:
Maybe something like ashiatsu? You know, I hadn't thought of that, but I may need to look around town a bit.

I got some massages while I was in Thailand, and those really did tickle my pickle...ahem
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Highly suggest traditional cupping massage. Bonus points if they include the blood letting portion they usually omit in western society.
I love them. Fixes all the things.
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Conefed

Conefed

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Ripping ass while alone in the break room to counteract the loud smells of my coworker's food.
Bonus when overhear coworkers talking about who's food it is
 
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Erronius

Erronius

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My antibiotics have turned my bowel movements into some sort of mush. Think of a range between "hummus" and "firm hummus"

I never buy a specific brand or type of toilet paper. No idea why I bought this package of Charmin ultra-strong. But this morning I grabbed a new roll and sat down to turn my bathroom into a Superfund cleanup site.

The bad thing about having the shits like this is that it's too thick to blast out in a splatter, but it's not thick enough to form a proper turd, either. It's like the horrible kind of baby-shits that likes to smoosh and stick to fucking everything. So my ass-crack has been like someone put peanut-butter on a tortilla and then folded it in half. But then imagine that tortilla being coated in hair.

So I grab some TP and I'm debating either having to use 1/4 of a roll to get my crack clean, or wiping off the bulk of it and then just jumping into the shower. But then...I start my first wipe.

And my fucking GOD, this might have been the best wiping experience of the last 20 years. I can't even explain it. I even did an exploratory test-wipe when I thought I was done, and my brown eye was actually clean. My pickle hasn't been this tickled since I last spent weeks eating MREs and using the TP that comes in those, and then taking your first shit back in an actual bathroom with real toiler paper. It was THAT kind of an experience, I kid you not.
 
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Hoss

Hoss

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So you gunna get yourself addicted to antibiotics now or what?

Hey maybe you can save some of that poop and later do a poop transplant to yourself.
 
Aldarion

Aldarion

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After taking a full year to review my documents and making a half dozen retarded errors in the process that I had to correct for them, the IRS has finally notified me that they're sending me the full tax return I claimed plus interest.

Mother fuckers, next time make your jobs easier and just accept the fucking return. If I claim it on my taxes its cause its supposed to be there.

This check better come with a letter that says "very sorry sir, we will not audit you again for at least 10 years"
 
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TheNozz

TheNozz

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When you have a booger deep back in your nose, and you finally blow it out, and it’s like you’ve never been able to breathe easier in your life.
 
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Sludig

Sludig

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TheNozz said:
When you have a booger deep back in your nose, and you finally blow it out, and it’s like you’ve never been able to breathe easier in your life.
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Yes, except when its stubborn needing manual tissue extraction and it ends up being so long it feels like it tickles your brain on the way out.
 
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a c i d.f l y

a c i d.f l y

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When it's so long you feel it tickling the back of your tongue as it slimes its way out your nasal cavity.
 
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Koushirou

Koushirou

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The first blow of the day is always the best. Sadly mine’s mostly blood and scabs, but goddamn it feels good to get it out.

 
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Izo

Izo

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Koushirou said:
The first blow of the day is always the best. Sadly mine’s mostly blood and scabs, but goddamn it feels good to get it out.

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1617730998757.gif

I was expecting something else reading the first sentence. I guess that can cause blood and scabs too.
 
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