Why do men keep putting me in the Girlfriend-zone?

  • Guest, it's time once again for the massively important and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and give us your nominations!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Give us your worst ones!
Tanoomba

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
Dabamf_sl said:
Let me go ahead and end my friendships with my female friends because some guy on the internet said they're impossible. Thanks. The first 7 times you said this exact same thing wasn't enough. 8th time's the charm.
Click to expand...
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Dabamf again.
 
Xeldar

Xeldar

Silver Squire
1,546
133
Is there any experiment or natural experiment in which we can test for patriarchy? As far as I can tell, patriarchy is one giant narrative fallacy.
 
Xeldar

Xeldar

Silver Squire
1,546
133
The-am-I-really-friends-with-Jessica-test: If my best female friend, Jessica and I were watching a movie at her house, and she gets up to go to the bathroom. She returns nude, offering me a blowjob. Do I accept? Then I'm probably not really her friend-friend. Do I decline because her friendship means too much to me? Then I'm a faggot and should an hero or move to West Hollywood.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,463
15,813
Tanoomba_sl said:
Why does the fact that you'd bang if circumstances were different mean you're not "just friends"? If my best buddies were female and hot, I'd wanna fuck them too. Does that invalidate our friendship? If my pet rabbit had tits, I'd squeeze 'em. If rubber was minty I'd lick my tires to freshen my breath. What's your point?
Click to expand...
That'sexactlymy point. You aren'tattractedto your male friends, thus you don't bang them. The same way a guy isn't attracted to a female he finds ugly and thus why he "friendzones" her. That's the only way agenuinelyplatonic friendship can occur. Thing is, she likely wants to banghimin that scenario, which then invalidates the "just friends" thing. It's the order of things. People who enjoy each other socially, usually want to get together physically. You're never "just friends". You're friends that want to bang, but can't because of circumstance. It isn't genuinely platonic, sorry.

Dabamf_sl said:
Let me go ahead and start a platonic friendship with females, because some guy on the internet said they're possible. Thanks. The first 7 times you said this exact same thing wasn't enough. 8th time's the charm.
Click to expand...
Fixed.
 
Tanoomba

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
Kirun_sl said:
That'sexactlymy point. You aren'tattractedto your male friends, thus you don't bang them. The same way a guy isn't attracted to a female he finds ugly and thus why he "friendzones" her. That's the only way agenuinelyplatonic friendship can occur. Thing is, she likely wants to banghimin that scenario, which then invalidates the "just friends" thing. It's the order of things. People who enjoy each other socially, usually want to get together physically. You're never "just friends". You're friends that want to bang, but can't because of circumstance. It isn't genuinely platonic, sorry.
Click to expand...
Every person I've ever met my life had to undergo a "would I fuck test". Some of those tests were really easy: "No" for men, family, people out of age range, etc; "Possibly" for just about everyone else. We can call it factor X or, hey, I'll do you one better and call it factor A because, as my buddy says, it's the first decision you ever make about anyone you meet (after puberty). After factor A comes everything else you learn about a person: Their race, their name, their accent, their interests, their opinions, their hobbies, their passions, their skills, their connections, whatever. Let's call those factors B through Z (although there would likely be more than 25 of these factors). Somewhere along the line you've seen enough of these factors that this person undergoes a "would I be friends test". Note that they may pass this test before any actual fucking occurs, regardless of factor A. Once someone passes this test they are a friend. Now, if it turns out that this person is not attracted to you because you didn't pass her "would I fuck test" but you did pass her "would I be friends test", then you both qualify as friends to each other, which is the only way that friendship can be measured.
If, on the other hand, you did pass her "would I fuck test" and she passed yours, well, you fuck. And things are different then. But the fact that the fucking might have happened under "different circumstances" (which is pretty fucking arbitrary) changes nothing about the quality of the friendship that already exists there.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,463
15,813
Tanoomba_sl said:
Every person I've ever met my life had to undergo a "would I fuck test". Some of those tests were really easy: "No" for men, family, people out of age range, etc; "Possibly" for just about everyone else. We can call it factor X or, hey, I'll do you one better and call it factor A because, as my buddy says, it's the first decision you ever make about anyone you meet (after puberty). After factor A comes everything else you learn about a person: Their race, their name, their accent, their interests, their opinions, their hobbies, their passions, their skills, their connections, whatever. Let's call those factors B through Z (although there would likely be more than 25 of these factors). Somewhere along the line you've seen enough of these factors that this person undergoes a "would I be friends test". Note that they may pass this test before any actual fucking occurs, regardless of factor A. Once someone passes this test they are a friend. Now, if it turns out that this person is not attracted to you because you didn't pass her "would I fuck test" but you did pass her "would I be friends test", then you both qualify as friends to each other, which is the only way that friendship can be measured.
If, on the other hand, you did pass her "would I fuck test" and she passed yours, well, you fuck. And things are different then. But the fact that the fucking might have happened under "different circumstances" (which is pretty fucking arbitrary) changes nothing about the quality of the friendship that already exists there.
Click to expand...
Ok...and? That's why straight men find such good friendships in "bros". They always fail the "would fuck test". Women who fail the "would fuck test" are almost never interesting enough to want to be "just friends". If theyareinteresting enough, unless they look like goddamn Swamp Thing, men will still want to fuck them.
 
Tanoomba

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
Kirun_sl said:
Ok...and? That's why straight men find such good friendships in "bros". They always fail the "would fuck test". Women who fail the "would fuck test" are almost never interesting enough to want to be "just friends". If theyareinteresting enough, unless they look like goddamn Swamp Thing, men will still want to fuck them.
Click to expand...
Sorry, to me that has nothing to do with friendship.
You're saying girls can't have "that thing" that makes a friend a friend because at least one of the parties wants to fuck.
I'm saying, on a fundamental level, that whether or not either or neither party "wants to fuck" has nothing to do with whether or not a "valid" friendship exists.
Have you even considered that "wanting to fuck" (or factor A) is subject to change? Should the fact that at some point you wanted to fuck this person determine whether or not you could ever be a friend with them? Where do you draw the line?
In the end, I have female friends who I value dearly and who value me. Whether or not we ever have or wanted to fuck has no bearing on these current relationships.
You have clearly never been friends with a woman nor have any intention to be.
One of us is speaking from experience, one of us is talking out of his ass.
 
Kirun

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
19,463
15,813
Tanoomba_sl said:
Sorry, to me that has nothing to do with friendship.
You're saying girls can't have "that thing" that makes a friend a friend because at least one of the parties wants to fuck.
I'm saying, on a fundamental level, that whether or not either or neither party "wants to fuck" has nothing to do with whether or not a "valid" friendship exists.
Have you even considered that "wanting to fuck" (or factor A) is subject to change? Should the fact that at some point you wanted to fuck this person determine whether or not you could ever be a friend with them? Where do you draw the line?
In the end, I have female friends who I value dearly and who value me. Whether or not we ever have or wanted to fuck has no bearing on these current relationships.
You have clearly never been friends with a woman nor have any intention to be.
One of us is speaking from experience, one of us is talking out of his ass.
Click to expand...
I'm done debating in circles with you. Men and women can't be friends in the same way that "bros" can. The dynamics surrounding their relationship are completely different. Our definitions of a true, genuine, completely platonic friendship are entirely different and you're too busy kissing the ass of all your gal pals to see why.
 
Tanoomba

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
Kirun_sl said:
I'm done debating in circles with you. Men and women can't be friends in the same way that "bros" can. The dynamics surrounding their relationship are completely different. Our definitions of a true, genuine, completely platonic friendship are entirely different and you're too busy kissing the ass of all your gal pals to see why.
Click to expand...
Oh, thank god you're done.
There's only so many ways you can say

If a penis can't be seen,
Then my friend you can't have been.
Click to expand...
 
A

Antarius

Lord Nagafen Raider
1,828
15
Someone necro this thread when it's discovered years from now that "he" is a reverse evelys or jerle 2.0
 
Palum

Palum

what Suineg set it to
27,372
43,482
Kirun_sl said:
I'm done debating in circles with you. Men and women can't be friends in the same way that "bros" can. The dynamics surrounding their relationship are completely different. Our definitions of a true, genuine, completely platonic friendship are entirely different and you're too busy kissing the ass of all your gal pals to see why.
Click to expand...
No, it's completely platonic except that you are actually thinking about sex and what might happen if circumstances changed or were different. Oh, wait.
 
Tanoomba

Tanoomba

ジョーディーすれいやー
<Banned>
10,170
1,439
Let me ask you guys this:

Let's say you're watching a movie because you heard there's a great nude scene by a hot actress in it. You know nothing about the movie except that it has this nude scene, and this is your entire motivation for wanting to see this movie. Once the nude scene has passed, do you stop watching the movie? After all, the only reason you were watching the movie was for the nude scene, right? What if it turns out the movie's pretty awesome, and you're actually engaged and interested in what will happen next? Does the fact that this interest was not part of your initial motivation mean it counts for nothing?

If you have trouble with abstractions, I'll give you a more specific example: Let's say you've got a thing for Helena Bonham Carter for whatever reason, and you hear there's a movie coming out called Fight Club in which she has a sex scene. That's all you know about this movie, but your interest has been sparked because you want to see her titties. The movie comes out and you start watching it in anticipation of HBC nipples but... what's this? It turns out Fight Club is pretty cool. Long before the sex scene you're hooked, drawn in by the kinetic energy, snappy editing, engaging themes and trippy visuals. The sex scene comes and it's actually pretty disappointing, a few seconds of blurred torsos, and it turns out it's a body double. Do you say "Well, I got what I came for" and stop the movie altogether? You're into the movie now, you appreciate it for the fine piece of cinema it is and you'd be an idiot to deny yourself the enjoyment of watching the rest of it, but that's the stand many of you are taking.

Yeah, the fact that I was attracted to my female friends was sometimes a motivating factor for why we became friends. But it's completely, completely irrelevant to the friendship that ended up developing. As has been pointed out, we're not cavemen. Men who have female friends are not constantly thinking about fucking them. Maybe that disturbs you (although I can't imagine why), but you've got to get over yourselves. At best,at best, the strongest and most irrefutable point any of you could make that nobody can argue with is that you, specifically, can't have female friends because you'd be too preoccupied with fucking them. That's fine, I'm not judging you or saying that you're missing out or anything. But to hot-headedly insist on the impossibility of what people have actually experienced is futile and small-minded. Is a dog gonna convince me that colors don't exist? For sure, that dog lives in a world without color and nothing will ever convince him otherwise, but I have seen color and know it to exist. No matter how many ways that dog tries to tell me colors are impossible, it doesn't mean shit becauseI've seencolors.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.