Dealing with addiction
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pharmakos
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a coke-sized line of methamphetamine would last quite a bit more than 7 hours tho. especially for someone without a tolerance, he probably wouldn't have slept til the next night.
since he said it was roughly a decade ago, i'm guessing it was mephedrone (4-methylmethcathinone).
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lol no, meph didn't emerge until 2009 - and I guarantee I did more mephedrone than everyone in this thread - at least from December 09 until it was made illegal in April 10. There's even a youtube video of me reciting a poem I wrote about my meph experiences at some open mic night
If it was mephedrone then I'd have been craving more, my nose would have burnt and I'd have gone through the whole gramAdmittedly I am recalling memories from 10 years ago and my memory of the timeline and effects are a little hazy. All I know is that it made me super confident, super talkative and incredibly obnoxious. I would have done the line around midnight, and I think it was 7am in the Irish bar when people were pointing at me and my mouth was super dry. I wasn't super confident/talkative for the entire 7 hours and I can't remember exactly what I did for the remainder of the night.
All I know is that nothing in the UK has come close except for 1g given to me at a work event in London.
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Maybe, but there was a timeframe in the UK when it was EVERYWHERE - late 2009 to April 2010 when it was banned. The spread was helped by a widespread ecstasy drought due to restrictions on one of the precursors
- you could buy it online for next day delivery, everyone in clubs was on it, afterparties went on forever, it was so cheap and widely available that even if you wanted a weekend off then people would be giving you some. It even spawned a shitty dubstep track
Two moments of madness stand out for me - I won 10g of meph via Twitter (it was such a lucrative market sellers were giving it away). One Saturday afternoon I was having a BBQ and two guys I knew asked if I had any to sell, they came round looking like zombies were still awake from Friday night.
I consider myself lucky because I had a job which meant I needed to be sober by Sunday evening - I know of kids that went out and did meph every night and dropped out of school
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earthfell
Golden Knight of the Realm
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don't know if this has been mentioned, haven't read the whole thread...
Most addicts use to try and fill some kind of hole or emptiness inside them. Usually this hole stems from lacking (or perceiving to lack) meaningful and validating relationships, as well as employment that generates a rewarding sense of identity. While yes, addiction is biological, it is also connected to environment, childhood trauma, hope, and a structural ability to improve ones lot in life (ie ability to pursue higher education, walk down a street without being pressured by dope boys, etc).
Does this seem like it matches anything in your personal experience, Lulz? I know you already mentioned the environment itself seems to push one towards using substances.
Most addicts use to try and fill some kind of hole or emptiness inside them. Usually this hole stems from lacking (or perceiving to lack) meaningful and validating relationships, as well as employment that generates a rewarding sense of identity. While yes, addiction is biological, it is also connected to environment, childhood trauma, hope, and a structural ability to improve ones lot in life (ie ability to pursue higher education, walk down a street without being pressured by dope boys, etc).
Does this seem like it matches anything in your personal experience, Lulz? I know you already mentioned the environment itself seems to push one towards using substances.
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jayrebb
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Fucking hell...I had no idea it was being abused or was even this abuseable. I knew it was around but it was mostly considered getting fucked over in the states.
like Ah man, this shit was laced with meph I'm going to beat his ass. It was something that made people very angry not happy. Meph was considered "lower class" for losers and if someone slid you meph it could be taken personally. That is quite an eye opening post you made.
In the major cities you even had to watch out for designer weed, basically stripped weed dusted with RC's. Using weed as a vehicle to distribute other drugs is actually something that has even hit dispensaries. No DEA article link atm, but a dispensary supplier in my area was busted selling fentanyl laced hash oil. The agent asked for "the good stuff" and got bullshit hash oil with fent in it.
RCs is a peeve of mine. For psychedelic lovers I think its great I guess to have access to specific things they want to experiment with as an adult. Anything else is dubious as a majority of them are rejected drugs or orphaned drugs not considered safe or effective enough to bring to market.
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Well meph for me was the rush/pleasure of ecstasy/mdma with the talkativeness/confidence of coke - the first problem is that it was fiendishly moreish and you would constantly want to top up during the night to the extent that you could easily go through multiple grams. Club nights always ended up back at an "after party" which in reality was just people sitting around doing more meph.
Another anecdote - you know how people don't usually like to share drugs with strangers, especially at an afterparty setting where not everyone has stuff and there are lots of strangers around - well because mephedrone was so cheap and easy to procure people would WANT you to try their stuff.
Then factor in that snorting it was worse than coke and fairly painful.
Towards the end I was getting VERY paranoid after taking it, to the extent I couldn't even enjoy nights out as I thought people were undercover cops etc.
Everyone I know who used it alongside me for 3-4 months was RELIEVED when it got banned and taken off sale
LulzSect
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**When I initially created this thread, I was coming down and being overly emotional. Clearly!
I mentioned early in the thread I was a late bloomer with drinking, smoking bud (early 20s?). I was especially scandalized by the thought of coke well until my late 20s until a woman I dated introduced me to it. It comes down to a really bad habit I picked up due to the perceived "exciting" times I used to have with this chick. (Which sometimes they were, but probably more often a shit show.) When things finally hit rock bottom between us (toxic relationship) 5 years later, I suppose I continued to use to fill that void. Living "that party life", recreating that degenerate "excitement", etc. Throughout all this, I somehow held very nice jobs, respected by my peers, bosses, friends, etc.
I did eventually lose some friends, potential lovers, mess up work, etc. due to my erratic behavior.
So here I am today picking up the pieces still. One day at a time.
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Alasliasolonik
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**When I initially created this thread, I was coming down and being overly emotional. Clearly!
I mentioned early in the thread I was a late bloomer with drinking, smoking bud (early 20s?). I was especially scandalized by the thought of coke well until my late 20s until a woman I dated introduced me to it. It comes down to a really bad habit I picked up due to the perceived "exciting" times I used to have with this chick. (Which sometimes they were, but probably more often a shit show.) When things finally hit rock bottom between us (toxic relationship) 5 years later, I suppose I continued to use to fill that void. Living "that party life", recreating that degenerate "excitement", etc. Throughout all this, I somehow held very nice jobs, respected by my peers, bosses, friends, etc.
I did eventually lose some friends, potential lovers, mess up work, etc. due to my erratic behavior.
So here I am today picking up the pieces still. One day at a time.
Ditto, it's just one day at a time! Drunk and high off of life in a weird mix of things. Birds are chirping and it doesn't bring up any good memories.
earthfell
Golden Knight of the Realm
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**When I initially created this thread, I was coming down and being overly emotional. Clearly!
I mentioned early in the thread I was a late bloomer with drinking, smoking bud (early 20s?). I was especially scandalized by the thought of coke well until my late 20s until a woman I dated introduced me to it. It comes down to a really bad habit I picked up due to the perceived "exciting" times I used to have with this chick. (Which sometimes they were, but probably more often a shit show.) When things finally hit rock bottom between us (toxic relationship) 5 years later, I suppose I continued to use to fill that void. Living "that party life", recreating that degenerate "excitement", etc. Throughout all this, I somehow held very nice jobs, respected by my peers, bosses, friends, etc.
I did eventually lose some friends, potential lovers, mess up work, etc. due to my erratic behavior.
So here I am today picking up the pieces still. One day at a time.
Yeah, sounds like you were looking for experiences, expanded experiences, and also love, and this lady comes along all alluring seeming to offer this path towards some kind of awakening/self discovery. Total stab in the dark so feel free to tell me I am wrong lol.
What kind of woman would you want in your life now?
You say "picking up the pieces still"--do you consider yourself broken? Like, when will you be done picking them up, how will you know you are done?
Everyone loses friends, everyone loses potential lovers, everyone messes up at work. Maybe you don't have to eat all the blame for that, maybe they aren't even things you should feel bad about because it is life and life is messy. It's not your fault if you get wet when it rains... and now maybe you just want to make sure next time you bring an umbrella haha.
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LulzSect
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I appear to have broken this cycle of drug use and intend to keep at it. I start a new job soon so my life focus has shifted back on furthering my career. As far as women go; I've dated enough bad bitches in my life to spot them now. Should I encounter another one in the future, I now know to avoid that archetype at all costs.
In summary, I got tired of fucking up my life.
The End
In summary, I got tired of fucking up my life.
The End
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pharmakos
soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
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Really gotta wonder WTF they're putting in that stuff. That definitely isn't like the spice that was going around 5+ years ago. Maybe it's getting laced with synthetic opioids or dissociatives instead of just synthetic marijuana. Synthetic PCP analogues are widely available online these days, and can easily be blended into smokeable herbs.
jayrebb
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Prohibition on the production of very common recreational drugs isn't in the best interest of public safety.
tolerated production would raise the safety profile while still allowing them to play cat and mouse at the border. Venezuela has legalized slavery again, does not cooperate with CIA/DEA drug czars and military operators like Peru/Columbia (who are extorted into compliance with US drug policy), and its economy is going to shit, so Maduro, I'm looking at you! Declaring a socialized drug policy is the next logical step for Venezuela. It would allow him to dominate the drug trade, keep drugs out of his own country, and rake in the aid money he's being denied. Socialist powerplay.
tolerated production would raise the safety profile while still allowing them to play cat and mouse at the border. Venezuela has legalized slavery again, does not cooperate with CIA/DEA drug czars and military operators like Peru/Columbia (who are extorted into compliance with US drug policy), and its economy is going to shit, so Maduro, I'm looking at you! Declaring a socialized drug policy is the next logical step for Venezuela. It would allow him to dominate the drug trade, keep drugs out of his own country, and rake in the aid money he's being denied. Socialist powerplay.
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LulzSect
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@mtnhmr
So after slipping up this past weekend, I finished reading "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts" today. It was very relatable and insightful to my own habits/experience.
Since creating this thread back in Janurary, I've picked myself up and secured a new job, reconnected with real life friends, and started filling my life with positive activities.
Do I still struggle with addiction? Probably. I try to limit my drinking to 1-2 times a week. I haven't gotten wasted like I have in the past.
So I still have a ways to go with mindfulness and "why am I doin this", but I have made some progress in recognizing my behavior and trying to reign it in.
It takes work to quell your inner nature.
So after slipping up this past weekend, I finished reading "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts" today. It was very relatable and insightful to my own habits/experience.
Since creating this thread back in Janurary, I've picked myself up and secured a new job, reconnected with real life friends, and started filling my life with positive activities.
Do I still struggle with addiction? Probably. I try to limit my drinking to 1-2 times a week. I haven't gotten wasted like I have in the past.
So I still have a ways to go with mindfulness and "why am I doin this", but I have made some progress in recognizing my behavior and trying to reign it in.
It takes work to quell your inner nature.
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